Sleigh bells ring, are you listening?
In the lane, snow is glistening
A beautiful sight, we're happy tonight
Walking in a winter wonderland

Gone away is the bluebird
Here to stay is a new bird
Who sings a love song as we go along
Walking in a winter wonderland

In the meadow we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is Parson Brown
He'll say, "Are you married?" We'll say, "No, man!
But you can do the job when you're in town."

Later on we'll conspire,
As we beep by the fire,
To face unafraid the plans that we made
Walking in a winter wonderland

The snow on the ground, all so sparkling white
Reminds me--I really ought to call my dealer tonight
But for now I'm chillaxing,
Wondering what I should be aksing for for presents

Making my list, what do I want the most?
A magic flying turnip truck? A pet pumpkin ghost?
Or maybe, possibly maybe
What I want's not avaylbe for purchase

I want to win, I want to be king!
I want to be the top dog model in this freaky-tiki scene!
So pay my bus fare, and I'll take you there
Take you to my funkin' pumpkin land

I want to sleaze, get grimy greasy!
I want to dose the globe with Vitamin E-D-S-H-E-P-P!
Go tell you mom to put on her thong
And bump her booty into Ed Shepp Land

In the meadow we can build a snowman
And pretend that he is Foxy Brown
We'll have lots of fun with Mr. Snowman
Until drunk Lindsay Lohan mows him down

When it snows, ain't it thrilling!
Though your nose gets a chilling
We'll frolic and play the Ed Shepp way
Walking in a winter wonderland

Walking in a winter wonderland

[Mom] You know, Ed? When we win the lottery, I hope it's not you who brings the family down.

[Ed] Aww, thanks, Mom! Merry Christmas!
And merry Christmas to you out there!
When's the last time you called your mom, eh?
Bitch.
Rosebud was a sled, and Santa Claus is dead.
I know I have a heavenly body; reach for the stars!
Beep.

Merry Christmas.