Quality Of Life


Quality of life - an oft-used phrase, like so many which pass through our 
ears and our minds unexamined.

Recently, I heard a workman who was expounding on the subject of having been
a common tradesman in the seventies in America. He described how most in his 
class of that era were able to afford a home, a boat, two cars, a stay-at-home 
wife, kids, and a twice-yearly vacation quite easily.

Now, he was - as most of you have noticed - traveling far from 
his home in the interior to drive to seasonable employment, staying in motels 
during the week, then driving the hundreds of miles home on weekends -
just to make ends meet !

In other countries, of course, our lifestyle - even that of the homeless 
- is to be envied.

To look at the quality of life for the average human being on our planet 
is to weep.

To think of the craftsmen, the skilled laborers, and all those who make a 
marginal living in America now - to think of the husbands who long to 
be with their wives - the wives who feel afraid with their mates far 
away - the children, (most have children, whether they can afford the 
care of them or not, and decently attempt to provide for them ), who miss 
their fathers, who long to play ball with him, to show him their homework, 
to feel really secure at night when they get tucked in by only their mothers.

Of course, many are single, and for them, the imposition is less, but still 
- they've become migrant workers.

A huge population of floating, temporary work force has become the norm in 
our country.

Meanwhile, the rich, or the comfortable, continue to buy second homes, to 
sidestep taxation, to use every trick in the Republican arsenal to get around 
the money-making world.

You do know that most corporations are tax exempt, don't you ?

As are churches.

And that churches no longer open their doors to the homeless or the desperate.

This had been the original idea behind exempting them.

And that married couples - who have the advantage already � since 
it�s far easier to live on combined incomes - get tax breaks, 
while singles must struggle alone.

And that women are still not paid equal wages for work equal to men.

On and on.. there are social injustices all around.

We, the people, have allowed this. And we continue to allow it - that, 
or, as we all suspect, the Republicans have already found a way to control 
all the voting apperatae.

Most of the misery of the world, the poverty, the anguish, the violence, 
stems from just one thing - overpopulation of humans.

Ads today just assume that every person wants and will have children.

Mindless breeding - the "mindless fecundity" Margaret Mead 
spoke of decades ago, the rampant breeding Malthus cited over a century ago, 
has caused the eating away of not o�nly individual quality of life, but the 
unbridled gnawing of the finite resources of the planet. To see the ugly atmosphere created by our pollution, the dirty seas and rivers, the land stripped bare by mining and eaten away by logging is to see an invading parasitic specie 
at work - like when pests eat a carpet.

We need to view our planet from afar, and NASA images provide a sane perspective of what is going on.

With overpopulation comes wanton destruction of everything - from physical 
needs to spiritual.

What what about the vast assumption that every man and woman wants kids ?

The commercial enterprises would like for this to sink in to the viewers 
of their bombarding ads.

They operate on a giant pyramid scheme - the more buyers, the more 
money they make.

Outside of the profit motive, there is the biological imperative, the need 
to be loved and valued, the pressures of relatives and friends who force conformity and guilt on others, and hopelessly outdated religiosity to contend with.

Strong people think for themselves and plan their own moves in life.

Weak people allow things - like pregnancy - to happen to them.

Statistic prove that most people by far - if given a private poll -
who have had children would prefer not to have had them.

Statistics also prove that couples who remain child-free are happier, stay 
more in love, stay together most often, and have a better quality of life 
in general.

This contradicts the tear-jerky films on Lifetime network and in the general 

Think about the happy, child-free couples you know. See EcoChildFree..

There is such a bias that many prefer to say that they haven't decided 
yet, that they're waiting for the right time, that they can't, or some other social lie.

Families put such great pressure on couples so often. Why? Does misery love 

Yes. And to adopt another view threatens some of the unevolved around us. 
It seems to be argumentative or judgemental to unenlightened souls.

I've even heard some say the ridiculous phrase that it is selfish NOT 
to have children, when it's just the opposite! While millions upon millions 
of children languish, suffer, starve to death and die of hideous diseases 
all over the world EVERY DAY selfish people continue to drop babies as thoughtlessly as alley cats !

I presume they mean to family members who sit, waiting for someone else to 
entertain them, for grandparents who haven't carved out their own lives 
yet, and who want to show boring photos to their compatriots, or to engage 
in some rivalry over whose genes can go furthest.

How revolting.

And yet, these, plus an ancient imperative to breed which is still upon us, 
preached out of pulpits and rained upon us from all directions, making women 
feel they must cover every base in life, must prove they are worth their ovaries, 
and men to prove their sperm are working. See 
Breeding Frenzy.

How ludicrous can our situation be ! And how nauseating are many - among those of the industrialize nations who have free access to vasectomies and tube-tying and reliable birth control, that is, who choose to continue 
to proliferate at alarming rates ! Selfish and soulless, uncouth, ill-educated 
and unspiritual, most of them. Others are in denial and really don't have a direction in life or are weak and swayed by societal myths or the pressures of surrounding people. 
Far too many are uncaring of the starving millions of children 
already in need, and content to put their children�s education, health-care, 
and other social needs in line for the taxpayers to finance !
Even if they might protest that things happened in their lives to make them turn out that way - well, most had heard that sex leads to child-bearing, naturally, unless something is done first to prevent it, so they did not prepare to support and give to those children everything they might need for at the very least eighteen years.
That is simply wrong, no matter how many excuses they might come up with.
Taxpayers along with the starving millions of children already burdening the world must also bear this.
Why should we ?
This is something we need to address with our governmental elected officials.
Those with children should NOT receive any financial aid - far from it - they should be penalized.
Children should be planned-for, truly wanted, and are not a right but a privilage.
Children will prosper in this case - and only in this case.

Now that the world is in immanent danger, to continue to do the very thing 
which is causing our own suicidally demented destruction should give sane 
people pause. See 

Now that single parenting is the norm, and the pressure on teen-aged girls 
to produce issue before they've reached eighteen - do they think 
they'll keep a boyfriend that way?

Far from it !

Statistics also prove that men ARE very different from women in this vital 
way - they are programmed biologically only to love the children -
but only IF they continue to love the mother.

Get this straight - men only love children - read, tolerate
for most - as long as they are in love with the mother of said children.

This is known from statistics, from extensive and private research and questionnaires, but any moron could figure this out, if looking at our society with clear vision.

Thus, the usual pattern of girl meets boy, girl gets pregnant, boy bails, 
then same boy meets another girl, girl mistakenly believes getting pregnant 
will answer her needs, and then, again, boy bails.

Then, boy's life, now, is enchained forever in child-support payments, as it should be, and girl's life is usually bound to poverty from then on.

While men can, if spiritual and disciplined, overcome this, and while men 
have more natural affinity for older kids who complement and entertain them 
and flatter their dominance - I'm speaking anthropologically here 
- this is just basic reality, meant to help people - this explains 
why the common and hurtful phenomenon of women making babies, thinking that
that while keep the man involved, while he will feel diametrically the opposite 
- that he wanted a mate, not a mother.

Learn this - a man, psychologically, equates a woman who has had children, 
with his own original mother, whom he thereafter rails against, as he had 
in his original parental situation.

Men prefer, instinctively, to remain single or to be seen as mates or dates.
They like the attention all for themselves.
Men may rankled at this, but in fact, America is based on the cult of the 
Puer - the boy.

The image of the man , the mature father-figure, exists now only in time-worn 
sentiments and Uncle Sam posters. They recruit exactly no one now. only the 
flashy, toy- and video-game stoked ads do any attracting of signees today.
Even our Presidents are appealing to us only when they seem youthful, vital, 
energetic, and yes, boyish !

Witness the fatherly, the Lincolnesque and hopelessly boring appeal of Kerry 
against the, I'm goin' get 'em, reach over 
the podium and growling, boyish technique of the little Bush baby, and see 
the results.

Men in our country want to stay boys !
And really, women want to stay girls.

Although girls, like Barbie, who have it all - including a baby carriage.

Movie stars set the pace. Mommies run down the street with big-wheeled, specially
-designed baby carriages, making the hapless children race along, bugs 
in teeth, so that Mommy, presumably, can do her own personal goals while baby-sitting, since very few can afford to do anything else, and since Mommy wants to be 
appealing enough to - if not keep the husband, then, to attract one.

Meanwhile, the sisterhood married women so feared in the seventies, when 
the wife-and-motherism allied itself and stood against the single working 
women so fiercely, that the equal rights amendment was soundly defeated and 
stamped out so thoroughly that even now the phrase, women's rights
seem not only scary but funny.

The men had the last laugh, didn't they?

Only recently have men even had to pay child support !

Now, as we see more pregnant women murdered by unwilling fathers-to-be, and 
we see more and more kids who are used as pawns to continue wars between parents of unwanted children, the men will probably step forward, do the intelligent 
thing, and override their machoism to get mass vasectomies. See 

After all, it is really the sex act they're after - not either 
the offspring or the commitment- but when there was no hell to pay in lifelong 
financial payments, men could sit back and gloat at their many conquests, 
but now, we'll see how circumstances force men into saner reactions.
Before you jump to say , �what ?� , notice that we females too, 
really only want the sex, the cuddlies, for the man to stand by us.

This sex drive is so strong, just the need to couple, that women have had 
the misguided and un-thought-through notion that our forebears NEVER had, 
that the sentimental thought of the family - the TV family which really 
doesn't exist - this false belief that has been generated by ancient traditions and by pop media - that having children�is what will make men love one, is what men want is the road to ruin which derails most people from the path of enjoying life, of prospering, of contributing in any good way and to exercising their talents. 

If you don't think that our primitive urges can take over your life, See 
Sensual Mermaid articles.

Men do not want families. Men want to have fun, be free, successful, to be 
stimulated, and yes, to have one or many sexual companions.

So do most women, if they will just unload the mythologies placed on them 
by our society!

The proof that we are meant for serial monogamy is in the Swedish statistics.

Only there, where prosperity extends to every person, where women do not 
need to be married to have children, to stay solvent, to be financially stable 
for the rest of their lives does real choice exist, and with that free will 
has come the results - the preferred lifestyle for both women and men 
is serial monogamy, although many couples do choose to stay together.

This is exactly what happens in other countries too, when conditions are 

Unfortunately for all, though, that's what's happening in America 
too - serial monogamy or even polygyny and polygamy non-married 
most of the time, but with countless unwanted, unplanned-for, untended children 
caught in the middle.

It's about time we all faced the reality of the make-up of our DNA, 
the reality of our specie.

Throw off the conditioning and brain-washing of our so-called culture, and 
begin to think for yourself.
Ask - What do I really want for myself in my lifetime ?

Ask riveting and adventurous questions, and write down the answers.

Some will be led from their hearts to want children. For those, if they really 
have a heart, adopting a deprived child from horrible circumstances will be 
the obvious choice. Take the 
ChildFix Questionnaire.

For most, if theyre honest with themselves, the list of the most fun 
and satisfying personal goals will not include parenting.

For most, the understanding that - to choose parenting means to choose 
poverty, insecurity, struggle, and depression, unless one has a bankful of 
cash of one's own -will set the pace for progressive thinking 
toward a realisitc look at life.

Life is finite. We never know how finite.

Think in terms not even of decades, but of months.

Think of young, active months. Count the optimal amount, say, months or seasons
of living eighty-five years or so.

Include all your personal goals.

Having a child from your own body has become an almost-given in our lives 
 but it shouldn't be. It's not among grocery list goals 
to mark off - this involves a worthy, feeling, needy child !

This is not one of those �oh, I must compete with the other girls of 
my class� thing. This is a make-or-break, life-ruining option -
not only your life, but that of a helpless innocent. Statistics prove that, 
given the option, by far the majority who�ve had their own kids wish 
they could take life back to that time and decide not to bear children.

Those who've adopted are more likely to be content with their decision 
- after all, they've thought, usually, long and hard first, been 
realistic, and yearned for any child - no matter who that child turns 
out to be, which is a healthy view.

Take a firm, a real, a brave look at life. Take the ChildFix Questionnaire.

Discard the notion of fear that no one will love you - so many breed 
merely for emotional security purposes - "who will take care of me when 
I'm older ?", for instance.

Statistics also prove that most children will not tend an older parent personally 
anyway, so forget that.

The "I want to be adored and looked-up to" idea is squashed by 
talking to any parent of a normal teenager.

The fact that most women want boy babies should be tempered with the factual 
findings that the old adage of a daughter's a daughter, but a son bails 
when he finds a wife, (make that, when he becomes sexually active), is true. 
Sons cling to other women.

What's not accurate about that old slogan is that now, daughters too 
are seldom dutiful or devoted to their mothers and fathers.

Face up to the truths. They will liberate you !

Sex symbols don't breed.

If you want to be sexy, stay child-free. See Mermaid Eco.

You can't have it all.

The cruel pop culture feeds that line to everyone, every day, via ads and shows catering to the siren songs of desire for ever more things, which will only lead to deception. one day, years from now, maybe, most will wake up and find themselves steeped in bitterness, surrounded by children they really didn't want, old before their primes, and in poverty - this is the true picture of life for the huge majority of women and men in life.

Hardly anyone has the resources � like huge money, like stability, 
like hot-and-cold running servants, like all the assistance they need for 
raising children that will most likely become kids of single-parent homes, 
no matter how ideal the circumstances.

And look at the offspring of famous movie stars who have all the ideal set-ups !

Suicide, drug use, depression are the norms.


Because most people - the vast majority of us - do not really 
have the parenting gene !

Most of us even given the financial resources will not be spending life tending 
to children! We'll be jetting around the world, fulfilling our more 
important imperatives - fulfilling ourselves while others pick up the 
sslack o'n the dutiful drudgeries of raising children !

Face it !

Most kids who have kids expect and demand that their own parents take care 
of it.

What if they don't - what if they, as one grandparent I spoke 
with, refused ?

What if they state that they've already raised kids, and now they wish 
for time of their own?

It's always possible that others you might attempt to pass the burden 
of child-rearing onto will balk, whether the boyfriend who has impregnated 
you, or the parents who wish to live their own lives.

Think about your life as a whole, in a rational, realistic way before you 
either let pregnancy just happen to you or before you decide that it's 
an excellent way to put off thinking about your future or your own wishes.

A helpless child is caught in the middle of too many peoples' lives.

An unasked-for, un-planned for and helpless being, an innocent baby.

They demand and deserve all of a parents' time, energy, love, and devotion, 
not for only eighteen years, but for life, really! They need to come first!

Stop being selfish, and think of the little victims who so often arrive at 
all the wrong times, due to one beer too many and forgotten birth control. 
See ChildFix before even thinking of allowing pregnancy to happen in your 
life, and take the ChildFix Questionnaire.

Don't think of abortion.

It's a horrible thing! See Abortion Fix.

Go and see an orphanage , volunteer or go to a fundraising, or find someone 
who had been an orphan.

I have spoken to several in my life, some still kids in other countries.

I've seen raggedly-dressed and freezing two-year-olds forced by others 
to watch just to see if tourists might drop an item, or discard a plastic 
cup - items they desperately need just to haul water from streams with, 
or to use as kitchen utensils. They'd squat behind bushes for hours, 
waiting just in case...

I've seen little toddlers in villages who'd sell anything they 
can find, and who are so well-trained that their tiny fists will not open 
to give the bauble away until they've spirited the coins or cash away 
in the other hand.

I've seen a couple of siblings living near a garbage dump where stranded, 
abandoned kids lurk along with foraging birds and hapless dogs, living in 
lean-tos against the harshest of weathers, the older sister hawk-eyed in constant 
fear and protetive of her little brother.

I've spoken to a war orphan, an adult, so divorced from his feelings 
that he states now - Im really glad I never had to be close to 
anyone. Do you suppose his experience in orphanages had anything to 
do with this? And when endless searches finally revealed the whereabouts and 
means to find his original family, he flew abroad to meet them, and said, 
-I was unimpressed.

Unable to feel, to make ties, to forgive, to feel rage, something still insdie 
forced him to look for them.

Perhaps the truth is that they were less than kind to him, or that he really 

wanted only to wreak emotional revenge, since he's a self-made millionaire 
now. A success story who can now deny them both money, and love.

Another was a young man, who when asked by a group of us where he had been 
raised, erupted in embarressed tears as he shamefully spoke of having been 
an unwanted child, discarded, raised in a local orphanage.

Think of all the desperate millions of children waiting, hoping, dreaming 
of a secure life, of a safe place to live, to eat enough in, to be held by 
stronger arms.

Think of them before you decide to create another life which will only make 
their plight more difficult.

For every life you bring into the world, remember the little, tearful, faces - many of them, because for a child born in the developed world usurps resources that could have supported many thousands of children in undeveloped areas - so think of multitudes of little, innocent children, suffering because you selfishly had decided to breed, think of their sweet faces, now, spotted with dirt you are condeming to die young and in poverty elsewhere in the world, or under your own nose, in your own town, right now.

If you truly wish to parent, adopt.

If you don't, then begin to send money to help others.

Also, send money to aid in the publication and education of materials designed 
to inform would-be parents and the youth about birth control, about the realities 
of parenting, about orphans who need homes already, and about realistic views 
of life, and most importantly, about the state of the world, reeling in death 
throes due to the overpopulation of humans.