Grief Fix


We all live in the constant flux of change.The nature of our intrinsically beautiful and bitter-sweet existence is caught in the maelstrom of constant motion.Not only does our world revolve, not only do we move about and grow and age, but every particle of life is basically made of of a substance very like light molecules, tiny whirring, buzzing particles of life which never stop churning and changing everything.

We surf through life, whether we're the types who hold on for dear life or the more adventurous variety, we're caught on an enormous wave, we're riding it whether we're really aware most of the time or not.Some of us are champs at letting the journey be a blessing, a gift, and some of us need to learn more about letting go and letting God, but the little oases we all encounter from time to time will in fact fall to demolition sooner or later.

Cherish these perfect swells among the storm waves and remember them when the most destructive ones close you out and almost topple you from your balance.From losing your self, bit by bit, as you grow into yet another expression of the person who is uniquely you as you age, to losing almost the entirety of life - the way the victims of the Tsunami last year felt it and certainly those who fell under Katrina's sway and the tragic and unforgiveable failure of the government to react at all felt it - sometimes things are out of our control.Life holds all the cards in the deck.

We think we can call a few plays, but the wise among us know we�re o�nly here for a brief ride, and we are not I charge.The sages among us accept and embrace change.The rest of us rather resent it, at best, and fight against it, tooth and nail, at worst. To hold on is an instinctive ploy evolved into us over countless millenia as clever little beings sprung from the primate family tree.

Nothing reminds us of our animal nature more than the o�nset of grief.

Whether we've lost our figures or we've lost our homes, being rudely awakened from our safe denial and savagely thrown into a hateful dungeon of reality both shocks and enrages us

How dare life hand me that !

What have I done to deserve this ?

Why hasn't this happened to a bad person instead ?

And how can I redress it ?

How can I make it better ?

Fix things so they'll be safe again ?

The bad news is that many things can never be fixed back the way they once were. Nothing can restore the many irreplacable things and beings we cherish and have lost. Once time has moved on, nothing will ever be the same.

Therefore, grief, being a constant in life, though invading by degrees, must learn to be not only tolerated, still pretending the elephant is not in the room, but embraced.

So, welcome to your grief. Face your future with vigor, with strength, and embrace it- whatever it holds. God is with us all.

We really have no choices in life but one - how we perceive things.Yes, how we view things, feeling about them, and how we alter our thoughts, emotions,and behavior toward realities is our own and only choice in life. So savor yourgrief and learn to live with it. 

At EcoMermaid we will lead you through this most lonely of lands, article by article. We offer grief counseling for grief of every type, on every plane.

Together, we will weather these storms. And, in time, you will learn to surf on the waves of change and even to relish some aspects, as you learn to observe your own feelings and reactions to the storms of existence.

After all, one always has a choice. And to survive means weathering these changes.

Many choose not to, whether consciously deciding or whether some other part of themselves makes the decisions for them, the results are predictable if one does not learn to be resilient. And not making the choice to survive, to trust God, and to continue to live your life despite an enormous loss may cause something inside you - your grief - to make the decision for you.It's important to remain spiritual in this process.

During the worst onslaught of grief, though, the dangerous times are many, and weathering one's own wild mood fluctuations is extremely difficult. We at GriefMermaid hope to offer you new thoughts and views beyond the myopic horror of loss in order to better deal with your feelings during these times.

One becomes an alien to oneself during grief, let alone to one's familiars.

Sometimes it's necessary to spend time with others who've suffered similar losses, whether in person, in counseling, or by reading others' writings.