After the Storm
One�s own private losses can be compared in part to the coming of a
monster storm that takes everything o ne has known and trusted and leaves
o nly destruction behind it.
Thinking of Katrina victims, and of the victimization that continues today,
well over o ne year afterward, we see that not o nly acts of nature but that
acts of betrayal and of lack of protection play a part in a National tragedy
of epic proportions like that of Katrina and the aftermath.
A government that even now will not admit its� crimes toward those
helpless people in Louisiana and Mississippi cannot be fathomed.
This tragedy compounds the grief we all will suffer at some time in our lives,
and usually far more than just o ne.
Like them, we will wander the face of the land we o nce knew as mates, as
siblings, as daughters and sons, as parents, or as friends, lost, like aliens
in a shaky and unknown world.
Like them, we will expect and seek help from even officials like preachers
or professionals or like friends who have not undergone the sad transformation that deep grief brings, and we�ll find help unforthcoming.
Like them, we may wonder if God has abandoned us, or whether something we ourselves had done or not done would have changed the fact that someone has died.
Like them, we will drop out, become helplessly depressed and not function
And yet, to count our blessings, even in grief, is the thing that might alleviate
some of the pain.
Unlike them, we most likely will have a bed to sleep in even after a loved
one has died.
Unlike them, we will have enough food and water, even if we lack the appetite.
Unlike them, we still have resources to divert our attention, like hobbies,
television, taking walks, camaraderie of our cherished pets.
Unlike them, although it seems our world has tipped over, in reality, only
the natural end of a life has occurred.
I say o nly in relation to the enormity of a tragedy like Katrina.
We each have tragedies in our lives and all is relative.
I o nly speak of this natural end in general terms � many of course
will lose loved o nes to tragic accidents and to suicides, to mistakes at hospitals, and even to murder, to war, to countless other reasons, and yet the one fact we all wish to elude is that for a life to end is o nly natural.
The means and the time are the only unknowns.
The fact of mortality is an immovable fact and a confine we live within.
Never knowing when allows us several wonderful gifts - the knowledge
lets us understand that to give love every single moment to those around us
is crucial, and that to waste even a moment in other than joyous contemplation of the miracle of life is sad.
And yet, grief will take those sweet loving sentiments away, and even one's religion, and will make one steep in anger and resentment, in envy and in depression for time no matter what.
At a loss for why we feel like aliens, why we're stunned and not able
to act as usual or to handle what's gone o n is part of the horror of grief.
The steps to take are easy to say and not as easy to do, but these will help
Take a walk outside every single day
Watch old movies and cry.
Keep a journal by your bed and write, write, write.
Eat lots of veggies and fruit. Go to Veganize and read that.
Do something kind for someone else every day.
Look into the face of another specie - relate to the birds and squirrels
even if you do not have a pet companion, or volunteer at your local Humane
Take vitamins. Go to Veganize for that too.
Drive to a natural setting and scream inside your car.
Exercise and dance every day. Get heavy music or tribal and go primitive
to get rid of angst. Also, see Anger Fix.
Talk to anyone who's sympathetic even if you must find someone online
Allow yourself time.
Get all the photos together of your loved o ne, the videos, tapes, mementoes
and cherish them.
Do something for that loved one he/she'd always cared about and can
never do now.
For instance, we donated a painting to a museum in the name of that loved
one. Someone else donated her brother's books to a University in his
Help others in grief.
Get political and get active in saving the world.
Make your life count now, whether you're no longer a spouse, a sibling,
a daughter or son, or a parent or friend or not.
Remember, Humpty Dumpty will always have seams where you're putting
yourself back together again, and learn to love the new you - the o ne
without that person - and to revere the time you were granted with that
Appreciate everything. Pray a lot. Get through it. Email us if you need help!