Twiddle Song

Confuse it

They Tried







I'll tell you why birds can fly, it's 'cos they only whistle.

They never shout, or mess about, 

Or get punctured by a thistle.

Birds are full of gas, 

It makes them float up high.

But, when they shout, the gas pours out...

And they tumble from the sky.


___ ___

The House Martin

A swooping, diving, bird is the house martin,

The way it flies is quite absurd, 

It's because it’s always farting.

This is why the martin flies so very fast,

It's just trying to get away from its own disgusting blast.

It's blowing off all the time,

Lets off into the breeze,

When it lands it simply stands

And farts into the trees.

So, if you see a house martin,

Always hold your nose.

It's best to hold your breath as well -

Until the martin goes.





If you took...


If you took a baby swan

And glued it to your ceiling,

A nasty person you'd become,


And unfeeling.

o o