The Aliens who Steal—then Save!—Christmas

Created by the imaginative children at Eastside Friends Meeting, 2013

Cast: Thalia, Kerensa, Kai, Annika, Jordan, Ariana, Eric, Bella, Brody


Narrator: Once upon a time—well just last year—there was a donkey named Rosie-the-Red-Nosed Donkey.

Alien Dog: (irritated) Woof!

Narrator: I know, I know. It’s just that last year’s play was such a success. And I really enjoyed being a donkey. And I really enjoyed playing the title role. I just thought that everyone would really enjoy doing the same play again. Isn’t that a really good idea?

Alien Dog: (looking sympathetic but shaking head ‘no’) Woof. Woof.

Narrator: Well then, what should our Christmas play be about?

Alien Dog: (enthusiastically) Woof. Woof-woof. Woof. Woof-woof-woof?

Narrator: You want a play about aliens? That stars an alien dog? Who do you supposed would like to play the part of an alien dog?

Alien Dog: (modestly, indicating self) Woof.

Narrator: (excitedly) Oh, you’re the alien dog—of course! That seems like a great idea. Have you talked with everyone else in Children’s Meeting? Do they want to do this?

Alien Dog: (confidently) Woof-woof!

Narrator: Excellent! Into places everyone!

[Actors move into position: Santa on bed; Elves behind Santa; Aliens together behind spaceship. Narrator settles in, ready to read the script.]

Narrator: Once upon a time, many years—in the future—there was an alien planet named Zenoid. On this planet lived an alien brother and sister who loved holidays. In the Spring, they celebrated the Festival of the Flowers…and everyone was happy. In the Summer, they celebrated the Festival of the Sunshine…and everyone was happy. In the Fall, they celebrated the Festival of the Harvest…and everyone was happy. In the Winter…well…in the winter they didn’t have anything to celebrate because is was so very dark and no one could see anything worth celebrating. In the winter, everyone was grumpy. All the aliens on Planet Zenoid locked themselves in their houses and grew very cold—both inside and out. One particularly cold night, an alien brother and sister were fighting…yet again.

Alien Boy: (taking blanket from sister, being grumpy) Zoinka—Zop-zop!

Alien Girl: (taking blanket back, getting mad) ZINKA! Zinka— Zop-zop!

Alien Dog: (stealing blanket, enjoying victory) Woof! Woofa—Woof-woof!

Narrator: The aliens were just too cold and too grumpy to get along. The brother, wishing he were someplace else, began looking through his Multi-Awesome-Super-Mega-Mega-Wow Telescope toward the distant Planet Earth, when he noticed something interesting: Elves busy at a workshop at the North Pole.

Elf 1: I love Christmas Eve! This is my favorite night of the year! There will be many happy kids waking up tomorrow morning and finding these gifts in their Christmas stockings! Just look at all these presents we made!

Elf 2: Whoa—we sure made lots of presents!

Elf 1: Yes, Santa will be very busy tonight. (Looking at Elf 2) Let’s see…we have all the presents made…. (Elf 2 nods.) We have all the presents wrapped…. (Elf 2 nods.) Well, I guess it’s time to load all the presents on the sleigh—while Santa finishes up his power nap!

Elf 2: (nodding) Whoa—this is going to the best Christmas ever!

[Elf 1 and Elf 2 leave to pack sleigh. Three aliens still looking through telescope.]

Alien Boy: Zinka-Zonk! So that’s why so many kids are happy on December 25th each year! This so-called Santa brings them presents!

Alien Dog: (excitedly trying to get everyone’s attention to share an idea) Woof-Woof-woof! Woof! Woof-Woof!

Alien Girl: (to Alien Dog) Zinka-zoinka? Zinkity-zonk?

Alien Dog: (explaining patiently) Woof. Woof-woof. Woof.

Alien Boy: So you want us to kidnap this so-called Santa?

Alien Dog: (agreeing) Woof!

Alien Boy: And bring him back to Planet Zenoid?

Alien Dog: (agreeing) Woof!

Alien Boy: Well, it looks like we’re going to be very busy tonight. Let’s see…we have to fly to Planet Earth…(Alien 2 and Alien Dog agree). We have to kidnap Santa to steal Christmas… (Alien 2 and Alien Dog agree). I guess it’s time to climb aboard our Multi-Awesome Super-Mega-Mega-Wow Spaceship—no time for a power nap! This is the best plan ever—grab the cookies!

[Aliens board spaceship and fly around room ending up where Santa is sleeping.]

Narrator: When the aliens arrive on Planet Earth, they put their plan to kidnap Santa into play. They leave a trail of cookies to lure Santa all the way to their spaceship. It works. When Santa wakes up, he eats the cookies and ends up on the spaceship. After leaving a decoy to fool the elves, they take Santa back to their home planet—firmly believing they have solved their winter problems by kidnapping Santa and stealing Christmas. It isn’t long before the elves discover Santa is missing.

Elf 1: [brushing hands] Whew! That was a lot of work, but the sleigh is packed and ready to go. Time to wake up Santa! Ready? [They try to wake up Santa and then pull back covers to discover Santa is missing.]

Elf 2: Whoa—Santa’s gone!

Elf 1: [Looking around] What?! Where could he possibly be? [Looking on the ground] And what are these…cookie crumbs?! What are we going to do?!

Narrator: Back on Planet Zenoid, the aliens don’t understand that Christmas is not quite that simple. Yes, the people on Earth do love Santa, but they know that there is much more to Christmas than Santa! For example, let’s take a look at Australia, where the very first children are waking up—only to discover that their stockings are empty because Santa didn’t come.

[Through telescope, Aliens watch kids and show confusion about kids being happy.]

Kid 1: [Sadly] My stocking is empty!

Kid 2: Whoa—My stocking is empty too!

Kid 1: [Trying to figure it out] No coal…so it’s not because we were naughty—that’s good. Hmmm. I think Santa just didn’t come; I wonder why? Well, we do have lots of presents under tree from Mom and Dad. And I am excited to see them open the picture we painted for them. [Talking to Kid 2, pointing] And do you see that big, red present in the corner? I bought that just for you., but you’ll have to open it later. Dad has a great breakfast started: French toast and all the chocolate croissants we can eat!

Kid 2: Mmmmmm. It smells soooo good.

Kid 1: You know… I am sad that Santa didn’t come, but I know will have great day!

[Aliens stop looking through telescope, clearly confused.]

Alien Boy: Why are they happy—even though this so-called Santa didn’t bring them presents?

Santa: Excuse me. I’m thirsty. Do you happen to have any milk to wash down all those cookies I ate?

Alien Dog: (confused) Woof?

Alien Girl: (also confused) Zoinka?

Santa: (surprised) Seriously? You don’t have any milk to wash down the cookies? And I was thinking about staying here and enjoying a year off …

Alien Boy: (confused but irritated) I want to know why those kids with empty Christmas stockings are still happy. I thought this so-called Santa is what made everyone happy at Christmas. I thought that having this so-called Santa here on Zenoid would make all of us happy. I thought that this so-called Santa would solve our winter problem (Trailing off) and make my sister less grumpy…

Alien Girl: (irritated) Zoinka!

Santa: (stepping in, speaking to Alien Boy) Excuse me. But would you please stop calling me “So-Called Santa.” My name’s just Santa.

Alien Boy: (speaking to Santa) OK, Mr. Just Santa, why are those kids with empty Christmas stocking happy? You didn’t bring them anything. We stole Christmas for us! We had the perfect plan!

Santa: (shrugging it off, speaking clearly to the whole room) Here’s the thing—and I’m just speaking for myself here—I think about those kids all year long. At the North Pole, we work hard to match the perfect gift for each child. When Christmas Day arrives, that’s the real joy. I love to see how happy they are when they open presents that were specially selected for them. You know? I imagine that it’s the same for all those kids: Yes, they are happy because of the gifts they receive—because those gifts represent that someone loves them and is thinking about them. But, they are also happy because of the gifts that they give—because they experience so much joy in giving gifts to people they love—and seeing how much joy that brings their friends and family.

Alien Boy: So, let me get this straight. You are saying that all we need to do is give to one another? It’s the giving that brings so much joy?

Alien Dog: (excitedly) Woof! Woof!

Alien Girl: (excitedly) Zoink! Zoink!

Alien Boy: I think they agree with you, Just Santa.

Santa: It’s actually just Santa…Oh forget it! Will you take me back to Earth, so I can get going on my deliveries before it’s too late? (checking watch) I’m watching the time zones change, and I need to get going right away, so all the rest of the kids wake up to full Christmas stockings.

Alien Boy: What about those kids in Australia? I feel kinda bad about that…

Santa: Ohhh, don’t worry about them. I know them pretty well. If we hurry, I can fill their stockings quickly while they are eating all those chocolate croissants. But we better hurry.

[Aliens and Santa climb on space ship and fly to Earth. They fill stockings in Australia and climb back on spaceship to keep delivering gifts. When kids finish eating chocolate croissants, they find filled stockings—and are very happy.]

Narrator: Flying their Multi-Awesome-Super-Mega-Mega-Wow Spaceship, the aliens return Santa to Earth. The children’s stocking were filled—even in Australia. And it was indeed a Merry Christmas. Back on Planet Zenoid, the aliens began giving gifts to one another each winter, helping them be less grumpy during that long, dark season. In fact, the alien brother and sister loved holidays even more. In the Spring, they still celebrated the Festival of the Flowers. In the Summer, they still celebrated the Festival of the Sunshine. In the Fall, they still celebrated the Festival of the Harvest. And now—in the Winter… well, in the winter they began a new tradition: the Festival of Giving.

[All actors line up, hold hands, and take a bow.]

Santa: On behalf Children’s Meeting, I wish you all a Multi-Awesome-Super-Mega-Mega-Wow Christmas!

Full Cast: [Singing]

We wish you a Multi-Awesome-Super-Mega-Mega-Wow Christmas! (woof!)

We wish you a Multi-Awesome-Super-Mega-Mega-Wow Christmas! (zoink!)

We wish you a Multi-Awesome-Super-Mega-Mega-Wow Christmas,

And a Happy New Year!