How to Identify A Bully At Work--http://insights.cermacademy.com/2016/10/155-identify-bully-dr-trudy/
Invisible Abusive Power Behind Mental Illness: How to Identify A Bully Around You-- written by Dr. Trudy Hu, August 2015
Revolutionary Discovery of Invisible Abusive Power Behind Mental Illness:
After 30 years clinical practice, clinicians nowadays still uphold the belief that mental illnesses are caused by an individual's brain chemical imbalance, individual's irrational cognitive thoughts, volatile mood swings, and destructive behaviors, or an individual's twisted perspectives. As a result, clinicians' clinical assessment, exploration of the presenting issue, and intervention are also mainly focused on the afflicted individual who chooses to seek help.
This article creates a prototype and provides a new theoretical framework to revolutionize the traditionally clinical assessment, focus, and intervention approaches which pigeonhole the mental illnesses and patients who fall prey to the abusers and become the scapegoats of the skillful perpetrators. It is fair to say that an individual who suffers from depression and anxiety in marriage and family might be a victim of his/her skillfully abusive spouse/partner, family member, or relatives. An individual who suffers from tremendous of stress and anxiety at the workplace might have been exploited by a skillfully abusive supervisor or co-worker at the workplace. A large cohort of individuals who suffer from depression due to declined wage, lack of career opportunity, governmental debt, and anxiety over social unrest in a society indicate the failure of political, economic, and social policies and the collective group of people have become unaware victims through long-term cover-up (i.e., brainwashing, programming, political correctness) manipulated by skillful and abusive politicians, power brokers, and media moguls.
Prototype and Definition of an Abuser--Skillful Bully
Bullies come in different forms, shapes and
ages. Nevertheless, people tend to have the typical images of bullies, usually little boys in elementary schools and
playgrounds. Those typical bully images
were highly promoted in the editing room of anchors and journalists through the lens of
most of the popular media.
is to describe another unaware but extremely dangerous but silent bully
prototype. This type of skillful
bullies do not throw punches in schools or playgrounds but holding leadership
positions in political power center, holding the key to the financial power,
having executive power of the business world, controlling the channels of
powerful news/images in media, and high-ranked clergies in spiritual world, etc. As people's eyes and mouthpiece, media do not focus on the center of the political/financial/spiritual power and scrutinize those well-established powerful "leaders" (bullies), instead of focusing on some young boys/girls in schools and playgrounds so that all the viewers can be manipulated by anchors' perspectives and see the world through their powerfully manipulated lenses that they want audience to see and to believe.
Façade of Success
What are the criteria of a candidate on the becoming path of a skillful bully in a successful mask?
An intelligent individual has high caliber in
cognitive capacity, such as analysis, reasoning, and calculation. As a charismatic and confident individual,
he/she is also articulate, ambitious and on the fast track in climbing
corporate/organization ladder. Under a
rigid hierarchical organization, these behavioral traits can be outwardly
reinforced and manufactured to perfection and difficult to detect the concealed
shrewd and self-serving nature. After
the long term well-established images, credentials, and networks, skillful
bullies in a successful mask, they are considered as role models and
celebrities in political system, companies, and churches.
It is just like a genuine diamond and a fraud diamond and no one can tell which one is real and which one is faked. Sometimes, fraud diamonds outshine the genuine ones. Only a well-trained professional can see through the faked shine of those faked diamonds. Along the same line, only a highly skillful professional with conscience can see through the true nature and the integrity of a genuine executive as well as a skillful bully without engaging power play or political gain.
Concealed Real Intention
The difference between a genuine successful executive and a skillful bully lies in his/her internal motives. A skillful bully is sensitive to assess other people’s power and how to exercise his/her personal charm to ally in the competitive business world. He/She knows how to pro-actively affiliate with those powerful people for his/her own self-interest and power-grabbing. He/She shows loyalty, respect, and obedience to win the trust from the higher-ups.
In private life, a skillful bully continues the high-power superior persona and is addicted to his/her inflated self-importance over personal relationships, such as in-laws/family. He/She treats in-laws and family members as subordinates and is good at translating their transient value into tangible benefits or service for his/her own advantage.
1. Establish Superior Atmosphere
A skillful bully is quick in identifying invisible leverage (age, rank, power affiliation, earning power, gender, ethnicity, etc.) and exudes superficial warmth and friendliness which creates a polarized superior-or-inferior or convincing-or-mistrust prelude as a foundation for his/her favorable influence. A skillful bully is good at exaggerating, bragging and portrait himself/herself as a virtuous and righteous person to increase the weight of superiority.
2. Create a Superior-Inferior Power Structure—From Influence, Control, to Manipulation
Invisible leverage turns into persuading influence and then distorts misstatement into truth and leading control, domination and then manipulation to superior performance and justification in grabbing (or stealing) more power, privilege, and assets from submitting ‘inferior’ or ‘disadvantaged’ counterparts.
Steps in Gaining Power
#1 Gaining Power Strategy—Proclaiming Visible and Invisible Favorable Superior Traits
#2 Gaining Power Strategy—Spotting Gentle, Good-Nature, and Non-Assertive Individuals, Such As Supporting Staff, Supervisees, Younger, Older, or Inexperienced People in an Organization
#3 Gaining Power Strategy—Intimidating, Belittling, or Overly Critical in Private Settings to Degrade Opponents/Counterparts into Inferior Status
#4 Gaining Power Strategy—Gaining Psychological Territory, Conquering Easy Preys, Putting Down Victims, Claiming Victims’ Credits and Assets Legitimately
Ultimate Goal of Control and Manipulation-Exploitation
Skillful bullies are natural predators and have innate ability to identify easy preys. The ultimate goal is to exploit others for self-serving interest.
Discrepancy-Lack of Integrity
Lack of integrity can be interpreted as hypocrisy or two-faced characteristics. The deceitful side has to be hid in secrecy, isolation, and darkness, (i.e. alter boy's sexual abuse as a secret, Clinton's emails).
The best way to detect a skillful bully is his/her lack of integrity and incongruence between publicly benign image and privately abusive behavior and the duration of revealing the skillful bullies may take at least 2-3 decades. A skillful bully is generous in spending company, public or others’ funds but stingy in spending his/her own funds. On the same note, he/she is generous in praising powerful allies publicly but verbally and emotional abusive to subordinates privately. A genuine successful executive tends to be congruent in public and private interactions. The emotional reactions with a genuine successful executive after a certain period of time tend to be positive, consistent, supportive, and empowering.
However, a skillful bully tends to elicit negative emotions such as confusion, a sense of inferiority, insecurity, powerlessness, loss of personal boundary or identity. A skillful bully in avsuccessful mask is an intelligent criminal who steals others’ power, voice, credits and asset and financially, mentally, or sexually abusive toward voters, entities or victims without a trace. The current legal system can only capture ordinary criminals who commit petite crime with tangible evidences. How can you prove invisible motive, manipulation strategies, stolen power, self-worth, votes through legitimate ways and capture the mastermind of the well-designed legitimate scheme?
Damage Control? Mitigate Damage?
a small and personal scale, a skillful bully’s spouse and
family members usually suffer the loss of self-esteem, self-worth and
self-reliance initially which leads to depression, isolation, cognition
decline after a few years and spirals downward into severe mental
illness, physical disability, and willingly submits his/her own
finance/identity/power in the "trusted" bully spouse. A female bullying partner can create more damaging harm to her male victim. Male victims' recovery and attempt in seeking help would be more difficult because traditionally females do not fit into the socially accepted stereotype of abusers. How do people calculate the monetary damage of the loss of self-esteem, self-worth, quality of life, happiness, and dignity?
In the scale of a business entity, a skillful bully is considered as a competent executive and leader in a company. The subordinates tend to be attracted and admired by outwardly charming traits initially. Several months and years later, the casualty of power struggle, layoff, re-organization and skillful firing would start the financial bleeding. Once the scheme of the skillful bully is unveiled, the financial loss is easily hundreds of millions and billions.
In a larger political arena, a skillful bully is much harder to spot through his/her long-term well-manicured political track records and immaculate leadership images burnished by the political parties and media allies, but he/she leaves a long trail of bleeding victims, such
as political, financial, sexual and family victims (Benghazi victims, rape victims, Ponzi scheme victims) behind his/her own perfect
tail, such as Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, Clinton Foundation,
Bernard Madoff, Catholic Churches, just to name a few.
Failed political policies from skillful bullies
would have severe consequences after at least 2-3 decades later, such as Adolf Hitler in the West and Mao Zedong in the East.
With the powerful cover-up assistance and manipulation from media allies, current failed political policies in
Syria and Middle East areas will entail more severe damage and terror in the United States and the global
political system for the upcoming 20 to 30 years, too. But the skillful bullies
who fail to oversee the recent political safety can walk away with their 4 or 8-year glory
and legacy without any consequences. However,
American voters and ordinary citizens in USA and the Middle East areas become
innocent victims and will be paying the enormous visible and invisible prices
for the next 20-30 years.
do people calculate the monetary damage of the loss of thousands and millions of soldiers' and civilians' lives, shattered belief of safety, constant fear of terror of a country and a geographic region for more than 20-30 years? How
do people calculate the monetary damage of the disillusion in democracy system, trillions dollar debts (Obama generates 12-trillion national debt in only 7 years) , unimaginable collective loss of quality of life, career future, financial security for millions of American young people for more
than 20-30 years? A thief, a robber, or a con artist has to face legal consequences for their crimes of hundreds or thousands of dollars. How come the skillful and eloquent bully can walk away from the long term crime scene with his/her stolen assets, benefits, power and failed performance but leaving behind a broken partner/victim, a broken company, or a broken country/region with trillion-dollar debts and loss of lives of innocent people?
When an intelligent individual/politician (bully) steals the power or was elected as the leader, it is unconstitutional because the partner/subordinate/believer/citizen will lose the rights of becoming a healthy, happy and secure person. Partner/Subordinate/Believer/Citizen's intrinsic rights have been stolen and sold by the skillful leader (bully) for his/her own personal gain under the disguise of "trust" and "protection".
I had once worked with Dr. Trudy Hu 8 or 9 years ago and she helped my family and my two daughters a lot. Recently, when I contacted Trudy several weeks ago, I have been struggling psychologically and financially because of my previous job loss about 18 months ago. After I quit my job involuntarily, I lost all my confidence and I accepted a lower job title and much lower salary. My family and I all suffered financial stress and lower quality of life after I left my job due to a bully at workplace. Several co-workers had experienced similar hidden bullying from this particular "popular" lady. I was the whistle-blower and reported her abusive behavior but the Human Resource Department (HR) believed in her because of her long-term positive alliance with HR. I experienced depression and financial loss for a long time. During my second appointment with Trudy, Trudy referred me to read this article and suddenly I realized that I have been an unaware victim of a skillful bully at my previous workplace, a naturopathic medicine clinic, and have severe doubt about my hard-earned credentials and my career skill sets and talents. After the 2nd session with Trudy, I was able to lift myself out of the funk, recover my confidence, and went on several job interviews. In my 3rd session, I have been offered several job offers and I become so confident in myself, my skill sets, and all the credentials that I have built in the past. I am grateful to her article and I believe that Trudy is onto something big and significant. Dr. Trudy's new discovery in skillful bully prototype completely turns my career, my confidence and my financial strength around. I can not tell you how happy and excited that I have become. This article is very healing and eye-opening.
經過30多年的臨床治療經驗顯示, 現今心理精神科醫生仍堅持相信, 心理精神疾病是由於個人的大腦化學成份失調所造成的, 個人非理性的想法, 個人情緒的波動不穩定, 和自己所選擇的破壞性行為, 或是個人扭曲的觀點所引發的。因此, 臨床界的醫生, 在做臨床初步診斷, 心理精神病因的探索, 治療的方法和過程, 治療的焦點和重心, 也主要只放在呈現心理精神問題, 尋求幫助的那個人身上。
本文將建立一個心理精神科新的理論架構原型, 給予傳統臨床理論嶄新的角度和觀點, 並提供了新臨床診斷, 病因的探索, 治療的重點, 以了解尋求幫助的病人, 可能只是犧牲品和替罪羔羊, 真正的肇事者可能是躲在病人後面的人,擁有一雙看不見,但強而有力操縱的手。
在婚姻和家庭中承受幽鬱症或恐懼症的人, 可能是在他/她背後, 有個技術高超且俱有有虐待傾向的配偶/伴侶, 家庭成員或親屬。在工作場所中, 經歷了焦慮或巨大的壓力, 可能是在他/她周邊, 有個技術高超且懂得竊取專業秘密技術和成果的同事, 或很會辱罵人仗勢欺人的上司。
同理可證, 當社會裡有一大群患有幽鬱症焦慮症的人, 可能是因為缺乏就業機會, 經濟蕭條, 政府債務太高, 社會動盪不安, 也就是可以推演出政府在上位的領導者和媒體巨頭名嘴合作無間, 通過長期明為掩飾太平(即洗腦, 攧倒是非)暗地裡偷權偷錢, 政府中社會上, 充滿了技術高超, 有虐待傾向又擅長仗勢欺人的政客。