母愛LOVE

解3:     哭 = 口+ 口 +犬, 器 = 口+ 口 +犬 + 口+  

聖經說:我們這世俗世界器皿的, 一台戲, 滿什麼, 什麼器皿,  滿什麼念, 什麼具, 滿什麼音, 什麼 
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幾天前下午,聽了「李叔同」寫的「送別」歌詞後,我哭了一下午, 哭了 (11/17/17)

我想念我的母親,我想起了多年前送別了的母親。

今天早上睡醒後,「芳草碧連天」浮現腦海中,「芳草(綠色)碧(綠色)連天(藍色)」

我母親是本省籍。
我母親只有小學教育,其父受日本大男人思想左右,不準我母親受教育,只能在家做他的小奴隸,
母親為了嫁給我外省籍的爸爸,海軍低階軍官,其與我母親斷絕父女關係,我母親從此從未回她父之家,
但我母親非常愛她的父母,她的弟妹全是我母親養育大的,視我母為母。

我父親是外省籍。自幼失父,但我的長像,有西方人的樣子(混血兒),但其母告之其父很早過世了,
他是單親媽媽在浙江省經營絲綢生意的獨

我母親非常幽默風趣可愛,生活非常辛苦,在我初中一、二年級時,在做完晚飯時,常常對我們三個小孩
(爸爸常年在軍艦工作, 海外跑船,只有我母親一人在家要做工,做飯,帶孩子)説:「如果她小時候有
受教育的機會,她一定有不只一個博士學位,…」

我就是個混血豬小妹。(小時候, 本省籍小朋友, 喜歡叫外省籍的小朋友為外省豬。)

我是「天之涯(藍色),地之角(綠色),知交半零(雨+ 令= 天雨下令)落」,我也是「芳草(綠色)碧(綠色)連天(藍色)」。

但是我絕對不願站在綠色島,綠島旗之下,因為綠島是重囚犯邪靈汚鬼集中營(解1)象徵

我的父親是個神之子,離開本家、本族、本國的孤兒,就像聖經中的亞伯拉罕離開他的本家、本族、本國之後,
神才能用他,他也才會知道靠自己一點也沒有力量,才能真正看到自己的無能和神的萬能。

在我母親還沒有小孩之前, 我母親在她走頭無路時, 母親傷心無助時,一人在左營(解2)的小破屋子第一次向一個
她不認識的神求告,她說:「我不知道你是誰,也不認識你,如果你給我一個房子住,我就相信你,…」

之後,有些奇怪的事出現,我母親就成為了神的女兒,神也在我母親短短的肉身生命留下深刻跡象(神)。

我的母親在台灣人的眼中,可能算是綠色,但是我母親在無父無家無友的外地,辛辛苦苦賺那蠅頭小利維(綉學號),每天一早不停地做到半夜兩三點,週末有教會弟兄姊妹來勸她聚會,並對她説:「人若賺得了全世界, 卻賠上自己的生命,有何益處呢!」 母親傷心無助, 無父無家無友學歷狀況撫養幼兒, 丈夫(我父親)為了生活, 冒著生命危險上, 給外公司廉價勞工, 暴風雨時, 我母親半夜三更, 神求告, 漂流父親生命安全 

我母親已經不再是豬類人類了,她也超脫綠色藍色限制,更是教導我如何透視人的偽裝,直視妖魔鬼怪、邪靈汚鬼,來自於神的智慧。

我母親是正大光明的太陽(日),
我母親是明亮柔和的月光(月),
我母親是閃亮晶晶的星星(星),
我母親是日月天地的星辰(辰),
我母親是高聳),
我母親是純淨),
我母親是微風),
我母親是),
我母親葉   
我母親常青樹木, 生命樹),
我母親年復一年),
我母親四季迴轉季節),
我母親息, 生命源頭

我母親已脫胎換骨, 成為了「虎媽媽」(動物界中最凶猛的媽媽),「猢媽媽」(動物界中猢媽媽最聰明)。

長亭外(飛鳥暫時停息之處)
古道邊 (古時候的道路邊)
芳草碧連天, 

天之涯、地之角,
知交半零落,
一壺濁酒盡餘歡,
今宵別夢寒。

中文詞作者:李叔同, 出生於西元1880年
李= 木+ 子= 巨木之子
叔= 叔叔 = 母舅
同= 同根生

清末到日本留學的「法師」

原曲作者:美國南北戰爭內戰期間的美國人,逝世於西元1880年

英文曲名:「我夢想(夢別)我的家鄉,母親」,作於西元1868年(Dreaming of Home and Mother)

想念我的母親。

畫面中有金黃太陽,有一棵有生命的樹。

人的生命短暫,但是日月星辰,有生命力的巨樹的存在,表示我們的家園與根源就像樹的根本,「本是同根生」。

解1:
位置意義代表是在地面上居所,窩棚」(Tabernacle,造型很像中文字的「)的是提醒人, 紮營心()所, 心, 思想, 提醒「萬事都是影兒,唯有神是實際。」
位置變成貪念邪靈汚鬼集中居所, 窩棚變成妖魔鬼怪點, 妖魔鬼怪

解2:
代表的是大家熟悉的物質世界。
代表的是潛在明意識之下的神秘未知的世界。
西方傳統認為左邊代表邪惡,其實是對潛藏未知的神秘世界的誤解。


Heavenly Music (I Am Alone but Not Alone): https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GC9TYjXQ

解3哭 = 口+ 口 +犬, 器 = 口+ 口 +犬 + 口+ 口 
聖經說:我們這世俗世界器皿的, 一台戲, 滿什麼, 什麼器皿,  滿什麼念, 什麼具, 滿什麼音, 什麼 
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記念我的母親, 寫於 4/5/2004

A Gift of Life and Love--Written by Dr. Trudy Hu on 4/5/2004 in Chinese and published on 5/10/2011 in English

Dedicated To My Mother:


I understand the pain of birth and creation now, but you have long gone.

I understand the wisdom of resiliency now,
but you are nowhere to be found.

Now I understand the transformation of devastation that you had undertaken, like the excruciating process of generating a breathtaking pearl.

You dedicated your life as a trailblazer to enlighten the darkness.

Your strength and character have been burnished and crystallized like the luminesent gem stones in the humble womb of Mother Nature.

Your virtue and intelligence, as a foundation stone, shines dashingly like a diamond embraced by a purified heart of gold.

It is hard to let you go but I can see you and feel you in the forces of life, in the cycle of life, and in the heavenly water from the Cascade.

Your ultimate beauty of sacrifice and everlasting love is manifested
through budding leaves in the Spring,
fragrant blooms in the Summer,
withering colors and sighing in the Fall,
and the vibrant evergreens in the barren Winter.

Hereby, I bid you a final goodbye.
Your passing is still a mystery (July, 1999).
But surely you left me a gift of life and love.
Your Grace, Mercy, and Legacy will guide me through the lonely wilderness.

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The Long Version:

You were born into a fisherman's family.
You grew up in a small island west of Taiwan,
as a Japanese colony in 1930s.
You were expected to do more laborious hard work than your 3 elder brothers,
and raised your younger sister and brother at the age of 9.
But I was too young to understand the hardship that you have endured.

As a young girl in that era, the opportunity of education and career was denied.
You used to say to me that you would have several doctoral degrees, if you were given the chance.
But I was too young to understand the denial that you have endured.

You met Father at 21, who was a Navy officer post Chinese Civil War and followed the withdrawn military from China to Taiwan in 1949.
You were banished and disowned by your own father because it was unacceptable for a native Taiwanese girl to marry a poor soldier from China.
But I was too young to understand the abandonment that you have endured.

As a military wife with 3 young children living in a shack, you struggled to make the ends meet, while father was sent out for missions all year around.
When people asked you to go to church, you secretly prayed that "I do not know who you are, God, but if you give me a house, I will believe you."
A few weeks later, the little shack was burn down and you were assigned to a small military house in a Navy base (Tso-Yin, 左營).
You were humbled and grateful to the almighty and omniscient God.
Later, you started to work as a seamstress after you were rejected to receive a loan in order to take your sick child to see a doctor.
But I was too young to understand the helplessness and the grief that you have endured.

Your sewing business was expanded to edging, tailoring to embroidery.
You purchased 3 machines from Japan.
You worked from 6am to 1am everyday while Father was still at sea and returned home once every 1-2 years.
You worried about his safety during the unpredictable typhoon seasons with all sorts of shipwreck news.
You also tolerated some rude customers' complaints and insults.
You still had to cook, clean, educate and discipline the rebellious and insolent behaviors of your children.
But I was too young to understand the agony that you have endured.

When your customers suffered physical and mental pain, you always offered a helping hand.
When your friends were in sadness, you closed the shop, visited and comforted them.
When you reached out to your neighbors whose souls and spirits were disturbed,
the disturbed soul yelled out, "Don't enter her house. Her house is protected by the Holy Ghost."
You were amazed by others' invisible vision.
But I was too young to understand the awe and disguised blessings that you have received from the Lord.

Before the annual College Entrance Exam, I asked you if I should put down National Taiwan University (NTU) as an option because I only considered Teacher Colleges which were tuition & fee free.
You said to me, "Why don't you put down the top choices of the top university (NTU)?"
While my high school teacher said to me, "It doesn't matter if you put down NTU as a
choice or not because you will never enter the top school anyway."
However, I entered the #1 department in the #1 university which was the only one option that I put down among all other teacher colleges.
But I was too young to understand my self-worth and potential that you had nurtured inside me.

You opened a jewelry box and asked me to take some jewelries before my departure to USA.
I chose a silver cross necklace and you asked me, "Why don't you take the gold rings, diamond bracelets or necklaces?"
But I was too young to understand your sorrow about my upcoming overseas journey and
long-term separation between us by the Pacific Ocean.

Years later, I returned home temporally as a young bride.
During the noisy wedding banquet, my mother-in-law dressed like a bride
but I was forbidden to wear the dresses and jewelries I purchased myself.
Silently, you gave me a diamond ring on a gold band which was the only ring that I cherished.
But I was too young to understand that you saw all the humiliation under layers of the
hypocrisy with your piercing senses.

When your grandchildren were sick in Taiwan,
you and Father took turn to take care of them in their homes or in hospitals.
When my first daughter, G., was born in California, you and Father helped me out
for 6 months while I was completing the internship alone with a newborn baby.
You made all her baby clothes day and night.
Every stitch of her baby clothes bears the witness of your maternal love.
You even flew to Singapore to help your eldest daughter, wealthy son-in-law and their 3 teenagers, even though you suffered from a severe medical condition.
You told me that you worried about your aging husband who might get sick by working too hard to support your eldest daughter's family in Singapore.
You tolerated your son-in-law's long-term abuse and comments to his 3 teen girls in a luxurious spacious apartment (paid by his affluent company) in Singapore; "Go to study now. It is
not your job to do kitchen works.  It is your grandparents’ job to do the cooking and cleaning jobs."
After you had some cold symptoms, you were sent back from Singapore to Taiwan alone in May, 1999, because they still needed Father's domestic help in Singapore.
When the plane arrived, you were too ill to walk out of the airplane by yourself.
My younger brother burst into tears when he saw you being carried out by a group of kind-hearted strangers from the plane to the gate of the terminal.
A few days later, you were diagnosed with a lung cancer in a final stage.
I was full of rage and anger but you still tamed my temper in the hospital.
You said to me on your deathbed that you did that out of unconditionally parental love.
But I was too young to understand the unbearable anguish and heartaches that your own children imposed upon you and the unconditional love you gave us until your last breath.

I understand the pain of birth and creation now, but you have long gone.

I understand the wisdom of resiliency now,
but you are nowhere to be found.

Now I understand the transformation of devastation that you had undertaken, like the excruciating process of generating a breathtaking pearl.

You dedicated your life as a trailblazer to enlighten the darkness.

Your strength and character have been burnished and crystallized like the luminescent gem stones in the humble womb of Mother Nature.

Your virtue and intelligence, as a foundation stone, shines dashingly like a diamond embraced by a purified heart of gold.

It is hard to let you go but I can see you and feel you in the forces of life, in the cycle of life, and in the heavenly water from the Cascade.

Your ultimate beauty of sacrifice and everlasting love is manifested
through budding leaves in the Spring,
fragrant blooms in the Summer,
withering colors and sighing in the Fall,
and the vibrant evergreens in the barren Winter.

Hereby, I bid you a final goodbye.
Your passing is still a mystery (July, 1999).
But surely you left me a gift of life and love.
Your Grace, Mercy, and Legacy will guide me through the lonely wilderness.

Love,
Dr. Trudy Hu, 胡慧菁博士, 心理精神科醫生
My Mother's daughter

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To Mr. Mike Hsing (邢獻雄)::written by Dr. Trudy Hu on 7/8/2016 in Taiwan


Last night, during the typhoon's harsh blowing and damage,  God gives me the inspiration.

When 2 women claimed that the baby was hers (one real mom and one thief mom), King Soloman told these two mothers that cut the baby into half and gave half of the baby to each claimed real mother.  The real mom gave up the baby for the baby's survival.  The thief mom did not care about the baby's survival. 

You claimed that you do not want to deal with difficult rental management, refuse to pay for all the damage, fire-hazard electrical system and insurance policy, and you need to care about my sister's "incompetency" and her "long term care", why do you insist to claim 100% ownership of my mother's hard-earned asset?

God has given me the instruction how to proceed this "complicated" issue.  This shop/house issue is simple but the person is complicated.

After the typhoon's damage, only the real house/shop owners are working hard to take care of the house/shop.  

During the harsh winds blowing during the mid-night around 4am-8am today (7/8/2016) , God also gives me the words, "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” 

God gave me all the images of the film, Revenant, and clearly told me that "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.
In the film of Revenant, Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) said "Hawk (his son) is all I got and Fitzgerald killed him."

My mother was all I got and she was used and abused.
My father was all I got and he was used and abused.  His monthly income for daily survival was stolen.
My brother was all I got and he was used and abused.
My elder sister was all I got and she was used and abused under your "care" for 30 years.  You claim her to be cognitive incompetent (失智).
My family love relationship was all I got and all the relationship was killed and vanished.
I am the only owner in this shop and I am surely used and abused before and now.
My parents' shop (my mom's shop) is all I got and it will surely be used, abused and abandoned after its value is gone.

During the strong and scary winds blowing non-stop this early morning (7/8/2016), God revealed all the words and images of "Revenant" and clearly told me that "It is mine to avenge; I will repay."

All you want in life is to become an American.  Even though you were able to produce an anchor baby 23 years ago during your stay in Texas for just 1 year, you are not a true American but a fraud, just like Obama and his fraud social security numbers for Ivy League scholarships. 
After your eldest daughter's 2-month summer internship (2008) at Portland, Oregon, with the goal of looking for a US citizen for marriage did not fulfill, your oldest daughter was able to find a young man, who you and your whole family disapproved but he is a Taiwanese boy with a US passport.  However, she and her husband are not real Americans.  I am a true American because I have to work more than 15 to 17 years in America as a free or a cheap labor, living in a humble place without a luxurious bed or a fancy car or furniture.  I live in a brutal pioneering environment like Hugh Glass and his son, Hawk, and constantly facing the survival crises from the harsh nature, evil competitors, murderous betrayal without any help.  After 15 to 17 years of hard life, I have earned the US citizenship but I could not afford to buy a plane ticket to see my parents during those years and suffered the grief of losing my family "murdered" by you.  You are greedy and sneaky just like Hillary who "murdered" so many American people but can come clean as a future powerful woman president.  Americans can not be recognized by skin colors, ethnic roots, or simply a US passport, approved by US Department of States, ironically headed by Hillary.  The true citizenship can be shown through the unforgiving wind blowing in bleak winter, the whisper in the abandoned wildness, the naked value system while you have nothing to hold unto, and the divine guidance and words of the Lord.  I am sure that you will be proud to be a person with an American passport soon and then continue to "steal", "rob" and "kill" for your gain, power, and greed, just like Obama and Hillary and the greedy hypocritical and murderous immigrants that they have attracted which is exactly like the pioneer prototype, portrait by Mr. Fitzgerald in the film of "Revenant".

All I can do is to pray to the Lord, in the Bible, God say, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay." 

"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”
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人生如戲人生--真實人生戲劇 胡慧菁心理精神醫生

好戲即將,各請稍候。  !!! 請大家告訴大家 !!!

戲劇內容高潮跌起,
真實人生戲劇"獵人","Revenant"


予的耶和, 取的也耶和

______________________________________________________________________________________


人生戲劇真實見證 (posted on 10/2/2016)


1.邢獻雄(胡XX 的先生)真正面目,行為表現不完的
邢獻雄
他的女兒沒麻煩過別人
基本上老大(胡XX)動不動就把他們丟回我們家
我常帶他幾個女兒
尤其我大學有幾個暑假,都是我帶的!
這家人基本上是:極其不要臉的!

有一次就直接罵老大(胡XX)!
她什麼都要麻煩我!
從沒有幫我們什麼?

我孩子小時候!面臨老(1999),老爸病 (2004-2006)
她從未來關懷過!
我兩個孩子,對這對(邢獻雄,胡XX)是十分陌生的~

所以邢獻雄只會記得對他有利的人!
要來搶胡家的財,連半子這種話都得出口人!  (邢幼萱還是個新生兒, 19851997)

2.
老大比邢獻雄先從新加坡回來
住在我們家一年以上!

她們原來的住家:出租賺錢,邢獻雄外派雙薪
結果她老婆住我們家,所有的開銷費用:是我付的!

後來邢獻雄也來住了幾個月!

3.
老爸從美國回來(2007年4),我們商議:
"
果貿的店租是支付照顧老爸的生活的人來拿"
結果她希望我照顧爸,我也!
結果老大:她每個月給我台幣12000-

我跟她不是這樣, 根據老爸在美國設立的法律文件3/22/2007(遺囑), 每個月租金要給我照顧老爸!
結果她就過一陣子(回家跟邢獻雄商量)
她要照顧老爸!

她接老爸在她家住,我要每天前往幫老爸洗澡
但是我要上班(輪晚班要想法子幫老爸洗),家裡又要做生意,小孩也小!
有時會無法每天去她家!

直到老爸有次要上廁所!來不及尿在房間裡
她一直嫌老爸髒臭~

我幫老爸洗澡時,老爸有不喜歡住她哪裡!
我又跟老大:我要接老爸回家!  不用~

沒有多久,她跟邢獻雄,就在澄和市場租了一間房子(2007年5)!
並請仲介請了一位外勞!
就把老爸送出去,丟給外勞照顧了!

她們還在教會(高雄召
會),營造出是我兒子不孝!
其實我都知道, 我並不在乎教會
(高雄召會)怎麼想!
我倒滿想知道教會
(高雄召會)的人若知道老爸是她們如此安排,害死的! 會如何看待這對(邢獻雄, 胡XX)~

老爸去美國以前(2006年10) 連走路都不行走,病危, 開著車,我二姐(胡慧菁)一起運送並抱老爸連夜從高雄台北辦理老爸的護照。2006年10, 開著車送我二姐和老爸一起, 飛往美國就醫, 胡XX堅持認為,老爸只需要單程票, 胡XX口口聲聲她會飛到美國帶老爸回台灣, 胡XX邢獻雄從來沒有履行他們所做的承諾。他們的藉口工作繁忙, 無法請假。他們決不會花一毛錢在老和老爸的身上。

老爸從美國回來(2007年4)身體健康, 完全復原, 老爸可以自己走,自己跑,可以自己去教會。但這對妻把老爸丟給外勞照顧, 老爸在個月死亡(2007年11)
這對(邢獻雄, 胡XX),他們只知道如何利用和老爸對他們的愛,奉獻,如今針是老和老爸的資

期間我相信邢獻雄從沒有去過那裏看過老爸!
就算有也沒幾次!

不想寫了!還有很多荒謬的事!
我也不想回憶了!!

 

弟弟

存證信函高雄左營果峰郵局存檔 (8/3/2016), 存證信函號碼: 000073, 存檔成為公開記錄。


 

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