母愛


記念我的母親, 寫於 4/5/2004

A Gift of Life and Love--Written by Dr. Trudy Hu on 4/5/2004 in Chinese and published on 5/10/2011 in English

Dedicated To My Mother:


I understand the pain of birth and creation now, but you have long gone.

I understand the wisdom of resiliency now,
but you are nowhere to be found.

Now I understand the transformation of devastation that you had undertaken, like the excruciating process of generating a breathtaking pearl.

You dedicated your life as a trailblazer to enlighten the darkness.

Your strength and character have been burnished and crystallized like the luminesent gem stones in the humble womb of Mother Nature.

Your virtue and intelligence, as a foundation stone, shines dashingly like a diamond embraced by a purified heart of gold.

It is hard to let you go but I can see you and feel you in the forces of life, in the cycle of life, and in the heavenly water from the Cascade.

Your ultimate beauty of sacrifice and everlasting love is manifested
through budding leaves in the Spring,
fragrant blooms in the Summer,
withering colors and sighing in the Fall,
and the vibrant evergreens in the barren Winter.

Hereby, I bid you a final goodbye.
Your passing is still a mystery (July, 1999).
But surely you left me a gift of life and love.
Your Grace (my Grace), Mercy (my Melody), and Legacy (my Lara) will guide me through the lonely wilderness.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Long Version:

You were born into a fisherman's family.
You grew up in a small island west of Taiwan,
as a Japanese colony in 1930s.
You were expected to do more laborious hard work than your 3 elder brothers,
and raised your younger sister and brother at the age of 9.
But I was too young to understand the hardship that you have endured.

As a young girl in that era, the opportunity of
education and career was denied.
You used to say to me that you would have several doctoral degrees, if you were given the chance.
But I was too young to understand the denial that you have endured.

You met Father at 21, who was a Navy officer post Chinese Civil War and followed the withdrawn military from China to Taiwan in 1949.
You were banished and disowned by your own father because it was unacceptable for a native Taiwanese girl to marry a soldier from China.
But I was too young to understand the abandonment that you have endured.

As a military wife with 3 young children living in a shack, you struggled to make the ends meet, while father was sent out for missions all year around.
When people asked you to go to church, you secretly prayed that "I do not know who you are, God, but if you give me a house, I will believe you."
A few weeks later, the little shack was burn down and you were assigned to a small military house in a Navy base (Tso-Yin, 左營).
You were humbled and grateful to the almighty and omniscient God.
Later, you started to work as a seamstress after you were rejected to receive a loan in order to take your sick child to see a doctor.
But I was too young to understand the helplessness and the grief that you have endured.

Your sewing business was expanded to edging, tailoring to embroidery.
You purchased 3 machines from Japan.
You worked from 6am to 1am everyday while Father was still at sea and returned home once every 1-2 years.
You worried about his safety during the unpredictable typhoon seasons with all sorts of shipwreck news.
You also tolerated some rude customers' complaints and insults.
You still had to cook, clean, educate and discipline the rebellious and insolent behaviors of your children.
But I was too young to understand the agony that you have endured.

When your customers suffered physical and mental pain, you always offered a helping hand.
When your friends were in sadness, you closed the shop, visited and comforted them.
When you reached out to your neighbors whose souls and spirits were disturbed,
the disturbed soul yelled out, "Don't enter her house. Her house is protected by the Holy Ghost."
You were amazed by others' invisible vision.
But I was too young to understand the awe and disguised blessings that you have received from the Lord.

Before the college entrance exam, I asked you if I should put down National Taiwan University (NTU) as an option because I only considered Teacher Colleges which were tuition & fee free.
You said to me, "Why don't you put down the top choices of the top university (NTU)?"
While my high school teachers said to me, "It doesn't matter if you put down NTU as a
choice or not because you will never enter the top school anyway."
However, I entered the #1 department in the #1 university which was the only one option that I put down among all other teacher colleges.
But I was too young to understand my self-worth and potential that you had nurtured inside me.

You opened a jewelry box and asked me to take some jewelries before my departure to USA.
I chose a silver cross necklace and you asked me, "Why don't you take the gold rings, diamond bracelets or necklaces?"
But I was too young to understand your sorrow about my upcoming overseas journey and
long-term separation between us by the Pacific Ocean.

Years later, I returned home temporally as a young bride.
During the noisy wedding banquet, my mother-in-law dressed like a bride
but I was forbidden to wear the dresses and jewelries I purchased myself.
Silently, you gave me a diamond ring on a gold band which was the only ring that I cherished.
But I was too young to understand that you saw all the humiliation under layers of the
hypocrisy with your piercing senses.

When your grandchildren were sick in Taiwan,
you and Father took turn to take care of them in their homes or in hospitals.
When my first daughter, Grace, was born in California, you and Father helped me out
for 6 months while I was completing the internship alone with a newborn baby.
You made all her baby clothes day and night.
Every stitch of her clothes bears the witness of your maternal love.
You even flew to Singapore to help your eldest daughter, wealthy son-in-law and their 3 teenagers, even though you suffered from a severe medical condition.
You told me that you worried about your aging husband who might get sick by working too hard to support your eldest daughter's family in Singapore.
You tolerated your son-in-law's long-term abuse and comments to his 3 teen girls in a luxurious spacious apartment (paid by his affluent company) in Singapore; "Go to study now. It is
not your job to do kitchen works.  It is your grandparents’ job to do the cooking and cleaning jobs."
After you had some cold symptoms, you were sent back from Singapore to Taiwan alone in May, 1999, because they still needed Father's domestic help in Singapore.
When the plane arrived, you were too ill to walk out of the airplane by yourself.
My younger brother burst into tears when he saw you being carried out by a group of kind-hearted strangers from the plane to the gate of the terminal.
A few days later, you were diagnosed with a lung cancer in a final stage.
I was full of rage and anger but you still tamed my temper in the hospital.
You said to me on your deathbed that you did that out of unconditionally parental love.
But I was too young to understand the unbearable anguish and heartaches that your own children imposed upon you and the unconditional love you gave us until your last breath.

I understand the pain of birth and creation now, but you have long gone.

I understand the wisdom of resiliency now,
but you are nowhere to be found.

Now I understand the transformation of devastation that you had undertaken, like the excruciating process of generating a breathtaking pearl.

You dedicated your life as a trailblazer to enlighten the darkness.

Your strength and character have been burnished and crystallized like the luminescent gem stones in the humble womb of Mother Nature.

Your virtue and intelligence, as a foundation stone, shines dashingly like a diamond embraced by a purified heart of gold.

It is hard to let you go but I can see you and feel you in the forces of life, in the cycle of life, and in the heavenly water from the Cascade.

Your ultimate beauty of sacrifice and everlasting love is manifested
through budding leaves in the Spring,
fragrant blooms in the Summer,
withering colors and sighing in the Fall,
and the vibrant evergreens in the barren Winter.

Hereby, I bid you a final goodbye.
Your passing is still a mystery (July, 1999).
But surely you left me a gift of life and love.
Your Grace (my Grace), Mercy (my Melody), and Legacy (my Lara) will guide me through the lonely wilderness.

Love,
Dr. Trudy Hu, 胡慧菁博士, 心理精神科醫生
My Mother's daughter

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

To Mr. Mike Hsing (邢獻雄)::written by Dr. Trudy Hu on 7/8/2016 in Taiwan


Last night, during the typhoon's harsh blowing and damage,  God gives me the inspiration.

When 2 women claimed that the baby was hers (one real mom and one thief mom), King Soloman told these two mothers that cut the baby into half and gave half of the baby to each claimed real mother.  The real mom gave up the baby for the baby's survival.  The thief mom did not care about the baby's survival. 

You claimed that you do not want to deal with difficult rental management, refuse to pay for all the damage, fire-hazard electrical system and insurance policy, and you need to care about my sister's "incompetency" and her "long term care", why do you insist to claim 100% ownership of my mother's hard-earned asset?

God has given me the instruction how to proceed this "complicated" issue.  This shop/house issue is simple but the person is complicated.

After the typhoon's damage, only the real house/shop owners are working hard to take care of the house/shop.  

During the harsh winds blowing during the mid-night around 4am-8am today (7/8/2016) , God also gives me the words, "The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.” 

God gave me all the images of the film, Revenant, and clearly told me that "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord.
In the film of Revenant, Hugh Glass (Leonardo DiCaprio) said "Hawk (his son) is all I got and Fitzgerald killed him."

My mother was all I got and she was used and abused.
My father was all I got and he was used and abused.  His monthly income for daily survival was stolen.
My brother was all I got and he was used and abused.
My elder sister was all I got and she was used and abused under your "care" for 30 years.  You claim her to be cognitive incompetent (失智).
My family love relationship was all I got and all the relationship was killed and vanished.
I am the only owner in this shop and I am surely used and abused before and now.
My parents' shop (my mom's shop) is all I got and it will surely be used, abused and abandoned after its value is gone.

During the strong and scary winds blowing non-stop this early morning (7/8/2016), God revealed all the words and images of "Revenant" and clearly told me that "It is mine to avenge; I will repay."

All you want in life is to become an American.  Even though you were able to produce an anchor baby 23 years ago during your stay in Texas for just 1 year, you are not a true American but a fraud, just like Obama and his fraud social security numbers for Ivy League scholarships. 
After your eldest daughter's 2-month summer internship (2008) at Portland, Oregon, with the goal of looking for a US citizen for marriage did not fulfill, your oldest daughter was able to find a young man, who you and your whole family disapproved but he is a Taiwanese boy with a US passport.  However, she and her husband are not real Americans.  I am a true American because I have to work more than 15 to 17 years in America as a free or a cheap labor, living in a humble place without a luxurious bed or a fancy car or furniture.  I live in a brutal pioneering environment like Hugh Glass and his son, Hawk, and constantly facing the survival crises from the harsh nature, evil competitors, murderous betrayal without any help.  After 15 to 17 years of hard life, I have earned the US citizenship but I could not afford to buy a plane ticket to see my parents during those years and suffered the grief of losing my family "murdered" by you.  You are greedy and sneaky just like Hillary who "murdered" so many American people but can come clean as a future powerful woman president.  Americans can not be recognized by skin colors, ethnic roots, or simply a US passport, approved by US Department of States, ironically headed by Hillary.  The true citizenship can be shown through the unforgiving wind blowing in bleak winter, the whisper in the abandoned wildness, the naked value system while you have nothing to hold unto, and the divine guidance and words of the Lord.  I am sure that you will be proud to be a person with an American passport soon and then continue to "steal", "rob" and "kill" for your gain, power, and greed, just like Obama and Hillary and the greedy hypocritical and murderous immigrants that they have attracted which is exactly like the pioneer prototype, portrait by Mr. Fitzgerald in the film of "Revenant".

All I can do is to pray to the Lord, "It is mine to avenge; I will repay." 

"The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

人生如戲人生--真實人生戲劇 胡慧菁心理精神醫生

好戲即將,各請稍候。  !!! 請大家告訴大家 !!!

戲劇內容高潮跌起,
真實人生戲劇"獵人","Revenant"


予的耶和, 取的也耶和

______________________________________________________________________________________


人生戲劇真實見證 (posted on 10/2/2016)


1.邢獻雄(胡XX 的先生)真正面目,行為表現不完的
邢獻雄
他的女兒沒麻煩過別人
基本上老大(胡XX)動不動就把他們丟回我們家
我常帶他幾個女兒
尤其我大學有幾個暑假,都是我帶的!
這家人基本上是:極其不要臉的!

有一次就直接罵老大(胡XX)!
她什麼都要麻煩我!
從沒有幫我們什麼?

我孩子小時候!面臨老(1999),老爸病 (2004-2006)
她從未來關懷過!
我兩個孩子,對這對(邢獻雄,胡XX)是十分陌生的~

所以邢獻雄只會記得對他有利的人!
要來搶胡家的財,連半子這種話都得出口人!  (邢幼萱還是個新生兒, 19851997)

2.
老大比邢獻雄先從新加坡回來
住在我們家一年以上!

她們原來的住家:出租賺錢,邢獻雄外派雙薪
結果她老婆住我們家,所有的開銷費用:是我付的!

後來邢獻雄也來住了幾個月!

3.
老爸從美國回來(2007年4),我們商議:
"
果貿的店租是支付照顧老爸的生活的人來拿"
結果她希望我照顧爸,我也!
結果老大:她每個月給我台幣12000-

我跟她不是這樣, 根據老爸在美國設立的法律文件3/22/2007(遺囑), 每個月租金要給我照顧老爸!
結果她就過一陣子(回家跟邢獻雄商量)
她要照顧老爸!

她接老爸在她家住,我要每天前往幫老爸洗澡
但是我要上班(輪晚班要想法子幫老爸洗),家裡又要做生意,小孩也小!
有時會無法每天去她家!

直到老爸有次要上廁所!來不及尿在房間裡
她一直嫌老爸髒臭~

我幫老爸洗澡時,老爸有不喜歡住她哪裡!
我又跟老大:我要接老爸回家!  不用~

沒有多久,她跟邢獻雄,就在澄和市場租了一間房子(2007年5)!
並請仲介請了一位外勞!
就把老爸送出去,丟給外勞照顧了!

她們還在教會(高雄召
會),營造出是我兒子不孝!
其實我都知道, 我並不在乎教會
(高雄召會)怎麼想!
我倒滿想知道教會
(高雄召會)的人若知道老爸是她們如此安排,害死的! 會如何看待這對(邢獻雄, 胡XX)~

老爸去美國以前(2006年10) 連走路都不行走,病危, 開著車,我二姐(胡慧菁)一起運送並抱老爸連夜從高雄台北辦理老爸的護照。2006年10, 開著車送我二姐和老爸一起, 飛往美國就醫, 胡XX堅持認為,老爸只需要單程票, 胡XX口口聲聲她會飛到美國帶老爸回台灣, 胡XX邢獻雄從來沒有履行他們所做的承諾。他們的藉口工作繁忙, 無法請假。他們決不會花一毛錢在老和老爸的身上。

老爸從美國回來(2007年4)身體健康, 完全復原, 老爸可以自己走,自己跑,可以自己去教會。但這對妻把老爸丟給外勞照顧, 老爸在個月死亡(2007年11)
這對(邢獻雄, 胡XX),他們只知道如何利用和老爸對他們的愛,奉獻,如今針是老和老爸的資

期間我相信邢獻雄從沒有去過那裏看過老爸!
就算有也沒幾次!

不想寫了!還有很多荒謬的事!
我也不想回憶了!!

 

弟弟

存證信函高雄左營果峰郵局存檔 (8/3/2016), 存證信函號碼: 000073, 存檔成為公開記錄。


 

Comments