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II. Finding Happiness in Young Adulthood

"If you want people to respect you, you need to respect yourself."
"If you are looking for people to love you, you need to look inside and love yourself first."   
                                                                                      Dr. Trudy Hu, 2/24/2015

"Ninety-nine percent of who you are is invisible and untouchable."

                                                                                                                                               R. Buckminster Fuller


Be Bold and Daring: Personality Traits and Dating Tips
Release Your Unlimited Potential:  Enjoy this Fearless Bold Women/Men article.  
Written by Brenda Della Casa (2/15/2015),  Rewrite and Edited by Dr. Trudy Hu (2/26/2015)

"Well-behaved women seldom make history." (Laurel Thatcher Ulrich)  But for me, this saying or sentiment is more than encouragement to go on a girls trip and go wild. 

To me, it is a celebration of women who choose to be defined by their courage, bravery and decisions to go after the life the want to live instead of being confined by "appropriateness."

Call them bold, fearless, or powerful, these are women who light up a room with their magnetic energy.  

They intimidate the close-minded and inspire those who have long hungered for tangible proof that they, too, will serve themselves well by igniting their passions and relishing in their independence.  I know a few of them very well and they have changed m life.  Here are fifteen things alpha-women do differently.  The following traits also apply to men/gentlemen.

1. They cultivate a life they actually enjoy living.
  • Determination: they commit to creating and living a life they love, may feel scared initially
  • Here & Now: they understand that life won't wait for them if they choose to wait for a specific someone to enjoy life with
  • Take actions: they take a class, book a ticket, try a restaurant, adopt a new project/hobbit

2. They make their move.
  • Risk-taking: they would risk hearing "no" rather than sitting on  the sidelines waiting others to bring them opportunities
  • Pro-active: they explore options rather than waiting for others to bring them the opportunity they dream of

3.  They don't put themselves down.
  • Know Yourself:  they know that they do not have a perfect looks or a perfect life
  • No Fuss over Trivial Thing: they are not defined by any one attribute
  • Self Acceptance: they know they are a whole package and the package so awesome it demands to be spoken about with respect

4.  They don't need a boyfriend but they are open to having a partner.
  • Independence: they are not afraid to be single even though the societies treat singledom as a disease
  • Balance: Not only OK being on her own but unwilling to compromise the time she spends with friends, on her career, or enjoying hobbies just to have any old someone in her life
  • Self-Directing:  Not looking for a savior, a benefactor or boy toy.  In fact, they are not even looking.
  • Dating: the bold and fearless woman is, however, excited when she meets a man who understands her, accepts her, respects her, respects himself and is looking in the same direction as she is.

5.  They don't waste time wishing.
  • Lessons learned:  the only thing the past can do is serve as a lesson in how to do better here and now
  • "Never look back unless you are planning to go that way."  Henry David Thoreau

6. They call people out.
  • 0 Tolerance: they will not sit silently in front of someone feeling disrespected or violated and then cry about it over cocktails
  • Assertiveness: they will call those people out, set a boundary in place and move forward right then and there

7. They know when to walk away.
  • Decision Making: Bending themselves backwards, forward (and backwards again) in an attempt to make something work will not offer respectable returns
  • Boundary: Know where to draw a line in terms of a friendship, a relationship, or a failed decision

8.  They expect FaceTime.
  • Get Real: Witty text sessions, replying to winky faces, day-after-day texting a guy/a gal you never meet?
  • Reality Checking:  They are not looking for pen-pals
  • Encourage Face-to-Face Contact.  They know whoever is serious about them will want to see their real smile in real time.

9.  They give themselves a real chance to meet someone.
  • Online Dating: Understand online dating has made some real-life connections
  • Interaction: There is a real value in getting out into the world and having human interaction in a space that's supportive of an introduction
  • Sociable: Enjoy the clubs with their girlfriends but aren't afraid to pop into a sports bar, networking event, museum opening, gallery showcase or even a trip with a carefully curated guest list.

10.  They don't pretend they are on an episode of "The Bachelor."
  • Compete for a man's attention and affections?  You are kidding, right?

11.  They also don't pretend they are a Kardashian.
  • Down to Earth:  They aspire to be a star in reality over a reality star.

12.  They see themselves as an investment.
  • Self Esteem:  They take pride in themselves.
  • Self Concept: From the word, work ethic, reputation to their friendships, manicure and handshake, these are the women who invest in themselves without the slightest bit of apology.

13.  They don't play the victim.
  • Setback: They know people will do things to let them down and even screw them over--such is life.
  • No Obsession:  What they won't do is re-live that scenario a million times over. 
  • Take Charge: They know that they are in full and total control of how they react to a situation and when the process gets tough, they learn their lesson, roll up their sleeves and get tougher.

14.  They dare to go for it.
  • Be Your Own CEO: Whatever the project or object is--the job, the date, the bucket-list experience or adopting a baby on their own, they think things through, make a plan and bring their own unique idea of happiness into fruition.

15.  They would never put their lives on hold to accommodate someone else's idea of who they should be.
  • Enjoy Your Journey: Instead, they get into the driver's seat, turn up their favorite tunes and go in the direction of their dreams.

You may read more by going to this link.  Dr. Trudy does not endorse the sexually explicit ads in the following website.