Finding a Fit

posted Dec 14, 2010, 6:44 PM by Ellen Mahloy   [ updated Apr 29, 2014, 10:09 AM ]
The big mistake I see women make who desire a fantastic boyfriend is that they stay with a man who is not a good fit for them.  A man they care about, and remain with, even though the relationship isn't working - not to say that it is bad (though it may be), it may simply be missing something.

Staying with someone who isn't a good fit for you, keeps you from meeting someone who is.  And it keeps your partner from meeting someone who is a better fit for themselves too. 

I believe love is available to everyone who sincerely asks God and the angels to bring it into their life.  If you ask, you need to be prepared to do the work God has for you to do.  The work that will prepare you to be an ideal mate to the person God selects for you.

You may feel guided to read books about relationships or to have sessions with a therapist or to make some changes to raise your self esteem or learn to communicate better. 

After that, you may meet and date a few "Mr. Right Now" sort of fellas.  Guys that come into your life so you may learn lessons that put you into the right frame of mind before your Mr. Right comes along.

After my marriage ended, I read books, got therapy, took workshops, meditated, prayed, colored 500 mandalas, took a lot of baths and ate a lot of sushi.  And I choose not to date until after I was divorced - not that I recommend this - it's just what worked for me. 

When I did begin dating again, it felt so odd.  I was awkward on dates because I hadn't dated in 8 years and because I still had that "until death do us part" vow floating around in my head.  The guys who dated me taught me lessons and I began to find my way again as a single gal.

Eleven months after my divorce, I met a nice man for tea and we hit it off instantly.  I didn't think I would be ready for a relationship so soon, but the fella I began dating was wonderful and we were a great fit and I knew he would make a fantastic boyfriend.  And he did... he is, a fantastic boyfriend and we are happy.

At the time of my separation I was heart broken and could not imagine how I would ever love again.  Because of the work I did, I came to see that my divorce was for the best.  And I am able to forgive myself and my former husband for our failed marriage.

Food for thought.