Competitive Dating

posted Dec 14, 2010, 6:40 PM by Ellen Mahloy   [ updated Apr 29, 2014, 10:02 AM ]
Competitive dating is to see other women as your competition and to view the man you're dating, or the relationship you may develop, as a prize to be won.  This approach sets up a win-lose scenario - as all competitions are. 

A competitive dater strives to attain the prize that she determines makes her a winner.  That prize might be getting him to date her exclusively, or getting him to say "I love you", or getting him to co-habitat, or getting him to propose marriage.

One problem with this approach is that it is a poor way to negotiate.  The other problem is that it is not holistic... not to mention respectful, considerate or caring.  And while it may help the dater get into a relationship or into a deeper relationship, it is not likely to help the dater find a relationship with a soul connection. 

Soul love is the kind of love all romantic people wish to find.  It is a gift from God and cannot be created by convincing someone they love you, need you, want you or should be with you.

Before becoming psychic and changing my career, I was a corporate business analyst.  One of the things I did best was negotiating contracts.  Excellent negotiators know one of the best ways to negotiate is to approach the situation seeking a win-win solution.

The competitive dating strategy is focused on a specific outcome(s) - anything else is to lose. The narrow focus causes the dater to loose objectivity, to loose the ability to see the big picture, and may not allow the dater to respond appropriately when things come up.

Exceptional negotiators know that a short term loss, can lead to a long term gain.  And that all decisions come with some risk.  The bright idea is to view things holistically with the best of intentions and remain flexible as the dating scenario unfolds.  Options give you leverage.

When you take a risk - and committing to someone is a risk.  Let it be an intelligently calculated risk using a win-win negotiating strategy. 

The best dating strategies I know of involve wisdom, guidelines, goals and a request for Divine intervention.  After establishing the strategy daters are best served to remain optimistic, enthusiastic, open minded and flexible - within their guidelines.  And enjoy the adventure.

Food for thought.