BIG PEOPLE WORDS
Thanks to Ray
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade.
The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
'What book did you read?'
Alex thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, 'Winnie the SHIT'
Thanks to Ray
The following will probably amaze and startle you..
One glass of water shuts down midnight hunger pangs for almost 100% of the dieters studied in a University study.
A mere 2% drop in body water can trigger fuzzy short-term memory, trouble with basic math, and difficulty focusing on the computer screen
(No kidding, all of the above are true...)
Now that I have your attention, go get another glass of water! --BUT BE VERY CAREFUL
Laugh often. And if you have friends who make you laugh, spend lots of time with them.
Are people born this way?
Thanks to Cindy
Thanks to David H.
Thanks to Janet
The couple were 85 years old and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.
not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's
insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.
They reached the pearly
gates, and St.. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful
mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a
waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favourite
clothes in the closet.
old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter
replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'
they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every
imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic
deserts, free flowing beverages.
The old man glared at his wife and said, 'you and your f....ing bran Flakes. We could have been here ten years ago!'
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I've Fixed It
Thanks to Ray and Blain