Sunday Family Humour October 25th
Jokes presentations, videos, pictures, cartoons - family humour
A very special thank you to all contributors.
The fall Crop of Walmartians
Thanks to Ray
.....watch how you dress before you leave the house please!
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Rocks Around the World
Thanks to Lee
More than half of the coastline of the entire United States is in Alaska .
The Amazon rainforest produces more than 20% the world's oxygen supply.
Amazon River pushes so much water into the Atlantic Ocean that, more
than one hundred miles at sea off the mouth of the river, one can dip
fresh water out of the ocean. The volume of water in the Amazon river
is greater than the next eight largest rivers in the world combined and
three times the flow of all rivers in the United States .
Antarctica is the only land on our planet that is not owned by any country.
percent of the world's ice covers Antarctica . This ice also represents
seventy percent of all the fresh water in the world. As strange as it
sounds, however, Antarctica is essentially a desert. The average yearly
total precipitation is about two inches Although covered with ice (all
but 0.4% of it, ice.), Antarctica is the driest place on the planet,
with an absolute humidity lower than the Gobi desert.
Brazil got its name from the nut, not the other way around.
Canada has more lakes than the rest of the world combined. Canada is an Indian word meaning ' Big Village .'
Next to Warsaw , Chicago has the largest Polish population in the world.
Woodward Avenue in Detroit, Michigan, carries the designation M-1, so named because it was the first paved road anywhere.
Syria, was flourishing a couple of thousand years before Rome was
founded in 753 BC, making it the oldest continuously inhabited city in
Istanbul, Turkey, is the only city in the world located on two continents.
Angele's full name is El Pueblo de Nuestra Senora la Reina de Los
Angeles de Porciuncula -- and can be abbreviated to 3.63% of its size:
term 'The Big Apple' was coined by touring jazz musicians of the 1930's
who used the slang expression 'apple' for any town or city. Therefore,
to play New York City is to play the big time - The Big Apple.
are more Irish in New York City than in Dublin , Ireland ; more
Italians in New York City than in Rome, Italy ; and more Jews in New
York City than in Tel Aviv, Israel .
There are no natural lakes in the state of Ohio , everyone is manmade.
The smallest island with country status is Pitcairn in Polynesia , at just 1.75 sq. miles/4,53 sq. km.
first city to reach a population of 1 million people wa
s Rome , Italy
in 133 B.C. There is a city called Rome on every continent.
Siberia contains more than 25% of the world's forests.
The actual smallest sovereign entity in the world is the Sovereign Military Order of Malta (S.M..O.M).
It is located in the city of Rome, Italy, has an area of two tennis
courts, and as of 2001 has a population of 80, 20 less people than the
Vatican. It is a sovereign entity under international law, just as the
In the Sahara Desert , there is a town named Tidikelt , Algeria , which did not receive a drop of rain for ten years.
though, the driest place on Earth is in the valleys of the Antarctic
near Ross Island . There has been no rainfall there for two million
Spain literally means 'the land of rabbits.'
St. Paul, Minnesota , was originally called Pig's Eye after a man named Pierre 'Pig's Eye' Parrant who set up the first business there.
Chances that a road is unpaved in the U.S.A : 1%, in Canada : 75%
deepest hole ever drilled by man is the Kola Superdeep Borehole, in
Russia . It reached a depth of 12,261 meters (about 40,226 feet or 7.62
miles). It was drilled for scientific research and gave up some
unexpected discoveries, one of which was a huge deposit of hydrogen -
so massive that the mud coming from the hole was "boiling" with it.
Eisenhower interstate system requires that one-mile in every five must
be straight. These straight sections are usable as airstrips in times
of war or other emergencies.
water of Angel Falls (the World's highest) in Venezuela drops 3,212
feet (979 meters). They are 15 times higher than Niagara Falls .
I have always said , you should learn something new every day.
Unfortunately, many of us are at that age where what we learn today, we forget tomorrow.
But, give it a shot anyway.
had to remind me,
so I'm reminding you, too.
It is all
50 or being over 60.
Kidnappers are not very
interested in you.
In a hostage situation,
likely to be
No one expectsyou to run
People call at 9
PM and ask,
'Did I wake you?'
People no longer
view you as a hypochondriac.
There is nothing
to learn the hard way.
Things you buy
won't wear out.
You can eat supper at 4 PM
again at 10PM
You can live without sex
but not your glasses.
You get into heated arguments
about pension plans.
You no longer
think of speed limits
as a challenge.
You quit trying to hold
no matter who
walks into the room.
You sing along
with elevator music.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
Your investment in health
beginning to pay off.
Your joints are more
than the national weather service.
Your secrets are
safe with your friends
can't remember them either.
Your supply of brain
is finally down
to a manageable
remember who sent you this list.
notice these are allin big print
ONE MORE THING:
take a sleeping
and a laxative
Thanks to Chris
Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque.
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
Two Asian heroin addicts have injected themselves with curry powder by mistake - both are in intensive care...
One has a dodgy tikka and the other one is in a korma.
During last night's high winds an African family was killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City Council said
'We didn't even know they were living up there'.
Asian Minorities in the UK have complained that there is not enough television shows with
minorities in mind, so Crimewatch is being shown 5 times a week now.
I just saw that Harry Potter film. A bit unrealistic if you ask me. I mean,
A ginger haired kid, with two friends?
I had a mate who was suicidal.
He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front
Of a steam train.
He was chuffed to bits.
woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he
was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year old
Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them.... They are bound to be curious about Sex at that age."
"Curious about Sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her appendix out!"
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low?
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor
Balcony shaking a carpet.
I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
Thanks to Bill S.