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Eddie Van Halen

posted Sep 13, 2009, 6:15 PM by Dennis Gess   [ updated Nov 13, 2009, 2:36 PM ]
That name is synonymous with the sound of numerous guitarists giving up their instruments. I myself nearly gave up guitar after a 12 hour session of attempting the first 15 seconds of Eruption. I have to admit, I am a giant fan of his playing and music. I have almost all of the Van Halen albums, and I'd like to see them on their 2010 tour.

Sure, Eddie grants interviews, signs autographs, smiles and takes photos with admiring fans.

Eddie Van Halen as a guitarist is brilliant. Eddie Van Halen as a person is an asshole.

Stop for a second and read that sentence again. Did I really say 'EVH is an asshole'?

Yes I did. And before you send death threats via email, I'll explain my reasoning to you.

When the band Van Halen was founded in 1974, the four members were Eddie Van Halen, his brother Alex, David Lee Roth and Michael Anthony. The classic Van Halen song structure was strongly based on Eddie's scorching guitar runs and Diamond Dave's vocals. Alex and Mike provided one of the best rhythm sections that ever existed.

Now, Michael Anthony and Eddie Van Halen's relationship was great, up until the album Van Halen III, when Eddie only let Mike play bass on 3 of the album's 12 tracks. That was kind of odd. Michael Anthony, bassist for Van Halen for over 24 years barely played on the album? It wasn't that big of a deal until it was actually found out in 2006 when Mike gave an interview and let it slip that he only played on 3 out of the 12 songs. Eddie's never said why the sudden inspiration to play the bass himself, but the album lists Mike Anthony as playing all the bass parts on the album. Oops, they messed that one up: Eddie didn't want to get a bad rep by sidelining his bassist.

Now fast forward to September 8, 2006. Eddie Van Halen announces that his son, Wolfgang, will replace Michael Anthony as bassist for Van Halen.

Now, I've got nothing to say about Wolfgang replacing Mike.

Wait, did I say 'replacing' Mike? Sorry, I lied. Mike can't be replaced. Michael Anthony's shoes were to big for even Jesus to replace. I've got nothing against Wolfgang joining the band, but as of September 8, 2006, I consider the band Van Halen to be dead.

And more recently: I'm sure you've heard that Guitar Hero: Van Halen is coming out soon. And in GH:VH, only songs sung by David Lee Roth are going to be on there. Let's get this straight: DLR is awesome. He's one of my favorite vocalists of all time, and the best frontman Van Halen ever had. Unfortunately, lots of people think Sammy Hagar sucked. I think Sammy Hagar rocked. Too bad Eddie doesn't think so too, because now I hear that Sammy Hagar has been axed out of GH: VH.

All right. I can handle that. After all, 95% of VH fans hate Sammy. I guess I'll have to ignore the fact Sammy was in the band.

But wait! Reading further into the article, I read that not only was Sammy cut from the game, but Michael Anthony was too.

I read that once and then went back and read it again. Immediately, I began laughing. I thought it was some sort of hoax or prank, but then I read another article which confirmed that Mike had been cut from the game.

Van Halen's bassist of 32 years? Cut from the Van Halen game. That just doesn't make sense. So you know what's going to happen? Wolfgang is going to re-record all of the bass lines for all of the songs in the game. It seems to me like a conspiracy.

And now I hear that the classic album Van Halen I has been airbrushed so as to remove Michael Anthony from the front cover.