Navigation

Recent site activity

The Twat-O-Tron device driver for Solaris 10

/dev/twat-o-tron
The "Have Your Say" comment generator ported to the Solaris kernel.

Every once in a while comes an idea so appallingly bad that it just has to be done and here it is;  The Twat-O-Tron ported to the Solaris kernel.  An idea so bad it could only have come from a real HYS poster.

We've all seen HYS.  A place where the moronic, uninformed racists amongst us can vent spleen and subject us to bad spelling, worse grammar and some of the most fucked up rhetoric ever seen.
Along came spEak You're bRanes , who describe HYS far more eloquently than I ever could and provided the excellent Twat-O-Tron, proving that the average HYS poster can be easily replaced by a small piece of Javascript.  I was doing some Solaris kernel work, I'd had a few drinks and the two just went together.




Build:

I built on an Ultra 5 running Solaris 10 and SunStudio 12.  I have no idea if it will work with any other setup and I don't particularly care but I would like to know if will build on x64 Solaris without modification.  The Makefile will have to be changed and installation paths will be different for the obvious reason.

gunzip < twatotron-0.2.tar.gz | tar xvf -
cd twatotron
make

should the job unless you have a dodgy environment.



Install:

Install into /tmp and symlink into the kernel ferfuxache.  You don't want to get into an infinite panic do you?

su root
cp twatotron.conf /usr/kernel/drv
cp twatotron /tmp
ln -s /tmp/twatotron /usr/kernel/drv/sparcv9/twatotron
add_drv twatotron



Running:

root@twatbox:/# cat < /devices/pseudo/twatotron\@0\:twatotron
FIRST THINGS FIRST! I HEARD THIS WEEK THAT THE EU WILL SOON B EBENDNIG OVER
BACKWARDS FOR THE ETHNI MINORITIES IN A WHITEOCNUTRY BECAUSE OF OGRDON BROWN! ALL
TRUE BRITS SHOUDL ELETC BORIS JOHSNNO SA PIME MNIISTER! 

Totally Disgruntled, Shropshire
root@twatbox:/#



Removing:

You're going to need this bit.

rem_drv twatotron
rm -f /usr/kernel/drv/sparcv9/twatotron
rm -f /usr/kernel/drv/twatotron.conf
rm -f /tmp/twatotron


FAQ:

Q:  That's some damn flaky code, were you pissed when you wrote it or something?
A:  Yep, sure is and sure was. You don't get ideas like this from being sober.

Q:  So how about fixing it then?
A:  Fuck you funny boy, if you care about it so much then fix it yourself.

Q:  This code just crashed my production server.
A:  And you were expecting what exactly?

Q:  Just how unstable is this?
A:  My rigourous unit testing procedure involves leaving it running while I go to the off license.  If it hasn't panicked by the time I get back then I consider it stable.

Q:  I can't get this to run on Ubuntu.
A:  Of course it won't, silly boy.  It won't work on AIX, Irix, MS-DOS or VMS either.  It probably won't work on Solaris 8.  It only just works on Solaris 10.



Thanks to:

veghead for /dev/bollocks
Chris and Ed for writing this unholy turdspurt in the first place
unlikely_name from ifyoulikeitsomuchwhydontyougolivethere for hosting it
The UK and Eire TV networks.  If you didn't constantly show such unwatchable shite (Big Brother, Gladiators, endless football, Project Catwalk etc) I would never get round to doing this stuff.



Coming Soon:

sys/twat-o-tron
The Twat-O-Tron as a Solaris syscall.




comments and suggestions are welcome but will probably be ignored.



Č
ċ
ď
twatotron-0.2.tar.gz
(48k)
Dev Twat,
Jun 16, 2008, 9:57 AM
Comments