The Stigma of Relationship Counseling is Hooey

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Many couples turn to relationship counseling as a last resort when things are going badly, but relationship counseling can, and should, be used when a couple just can’t get past something – whether they are at their wits end or just struggling to move past an issue.

There’s no reason to be scared of it! Even if you think that your relationship doesn’t need counseling because it’s not a ‘big’ deal, you may be surprised at what relationship counseling can do for you. It can help you iron out those ‘small’ issues and move on to a happier and healthier relationship. And sometimes catching those small issues with what prevents the ‘big’ issues from arising in the first place.

Relationship counseling is getting less of a stigma for ‘failing’ or ‘not being able to do it yourself’ and more of a positive tone to it that speaks of trying to get help to save the relationship and nothing more. Seeking help shows that you care about the relationship. That’s it. It shows that you are willing to do what it takes to save your relationship and that you understand that someone else may be able to offer you a better solution then you can see on your own.

I remember years ago that relationship counseling was avoided because of embarrassment. Unfortunately many of these people ended up in divorce because they couldn’t save the relationship on their own. What’s more embarrassing – going through a messy divorce or getting some help to save your relationship? I dunno – it just makes sense to me.

Even my mother-in-law believes that relationship problems should be swept under the table. That’s ridiculous! Bad relationships don’t have to be ‘just the way it is’, they can be much more if you go out and seek help – like relationship counseling.

How to Ask Your Partner To Go To Relationship Counseling

So okay, you’ve moved past the fear and shame of asking for relationship counseling and realize that it may be the best thing for your relationship – period! Now how do you ask your partner to go to relationship counseling?

Without Judgment

If you rush your partner and demand that you go to relationship counseling to fix their problems so that you can get on with your relationship then you will not be very convincing. The problem is that you don’t even have to say it like that to make it look like you are blaming them; all you have to do is just imply that you are considering relationship counseling to fix them and they will be weary of going.

Your best bet is to approach them about the subject from a personal tone. Tell them that you would like relationship counseling because you are not sure how to deal with your issues or the relationship anymore. Let them know that you think the relationship will benefit from it so that you can both be happy in the relationship again.

Make Relationship Counseling Benefit Them

Your spouse will be more willing to go to relationship counseling if they see that it will benefit them in some way. It’s just human nature.

Let them know that you want to learn to be a better partner and you need them by your side in order to do that. They will clearly see the benefit of you ironing out your issues in the relationship, and may even begin to see the benefit of them ironing out their issues as well.

Let them know that you just want to be able to make the relationship work with less bumps, fights, headaches, and instead with more happiness. They will clearly see the benefit in that!


Remember: Don’t be scared to ask your partner to go to relationship counseling. It doesn’t matter how long you have been together, how small or big you think you relationship problems are, or what other people will think…this is about your relationship and the success of it. If you want your relationship to succeed then relationship counseling may be the answer for you!

It’s better to fix your issues now, today, and be happy tomorrow than it is to spend the next day, month, or year being unhappy.

And if your partner won’t go with you then go to relationship counseling on your own. You will still get the benefit of realizing what you are doing wrong in the relationship and once you start to change yourself your partner will be forced to change with you. Heck, they may even want to go to relationship counseling once they see the progress you are making in yourself.

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