What would you tell your friend?

posted Feb 18, 2020, 9:14 AM by David Alan Binder

What would you tell your friend?

Every one of us are dealing with stressful situations.

We have difficult issues facing us daily.

Some with work, some with friends, some with family.

How do you help them and yourself?

 

A wise person once told me when I was trying to give advice to my son who is in a difficult situation, "What would you tell yourself if you were in his situation?"

I said, you mean for me to ask him, "You have a friend who is in your situation, so ask your friend what would you do in this situation?"  The wise person said, yes.

So I can ask my son, "What would you do if your friend was in your situation?"

This is helpful because it causes my son to think of it from a perspective of helping a friend rather than himself.  It allows him to talk, that opportunity alone is invaluable.  Too often we do not talk out loud with ourselves about our situations, we just ruminate and keep going over the same ground.  In forcing him to say out loud, "This is what I would say...", enables him to help himself.  I wouldn't be helping my son directly by offering advice.  My son would be giving himself advice on handling the situation.

 

That is the best way for him to show up on his behalf and develop those problem solving skills that will help him with each problem that comes up.  He comes to his own rescue.

 

That is perfect.  A way to come to your own rescue, ask yourself, "What would I do if I was in my situation? and then let yourself talk and work it out.

A Think Piece by David Alan Binder

Your thoughts, dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com

 

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