The Blamethrower will burn down your future

posted Sep 28, 2019, 9:57 AM by David Alan Binder

The Blamethrower will burn down your future

 

There are all kinds of things that you are responsible for; however, you are not responsible for all of the troubles of society.

 

Many of us have relatives (fathers, mothers, brothers, sons, daughters) and others who blame even others for their problems.

 

I smoke because of…

I drink because of…

I have rages because of…

You make me mad…

 

Remember, no one makes you do anything.  No one makes them do anything.  They are responsible for what they do regardless of what lunacy is directed at them.

 

How we handle situations tells a lot about us.

 

Dealing with stress and other emotions is difficult.

 

Usually those who cannot deal with stress and other emotions act them out.

 

So if know a teenager who is irritable it usually means they cannot express the irritation emotion so they act it out.  This is the way some teenagers communicate.

 

Children act out the emotions that they cannot communicate.

 

If they get frustrated and cry, cry, cry; it frustrates you and you do everything to make it stop.

 

I am NOT a therapist.  I just know enough to sometimes be useful and sometimes not so useful.

 

Everyone, I mean everyone, needs a good therapist.  Someone they can talk to that can help them make sense of emotions and learn how to communicate those emotions.

 

Sometimes we do not even know what emotion we are feeling; especially when dealing with childhood issues.  An emotion wheel is especially helpful to explore the emotions you are feeling.

 

My mother and father were divorced when I was very young, all I remember is once that they yelled and screamed at each other in the kitchen.  I do not remember any “happy” times although I have pictures of those happy times.  Sometimes those tragic circumstances imprint and implant themselves so thoroughly that they mask the happy things that happen in our lives.

I was abused by a man who was “babysitting” me when I was a kindergartener.

My single mother worked to support me so I was a latchkey child.  She was gone a lot.  Sometimes she would date and there would be more babysitters to watch me.

I was beaten by my father with his hand and a belt and he even strangled me once.

I visited my father and stepmother and was an intruder in their home every other weekend (except for three years when my mother had my out of wedlock younger brother when I lived with them full time.)  Until my father left bruises on my buttock and my mother had a (female) doctor, examine me and take pictures to take to court and regain custody of me.

I was in 15 different schools, had dozens of babysitters, lived in 10 different houses in different towns and never had any real roots.

So, because of all these jumbled emotions as a teenager and young man I would have my own rages since I could not deal with those repressed emotions and conflicts as a child.

I have no excuses for how I felt.  I do not blame them.  There is enough blame to go around, that we don’t need more blame; we need to work out those emotions we are feeling and deal with them.

 

Get those emotions out of us and out of our lives and do not bring those emotions into our current relationships.  If we do it will mess up those current relationships because we have not dealt with our past.

Then the past affects our present and then our present affects our future.

 

A Think Piece by David Alan Binder

Your thoughts?  Send any comments to dalanbinder AT gmail DOT com

 

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