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Trying to figure it out



Who is cthulhugrrl?

It's not at all spooky or even all that interesting.

The Basics 

My name's Rachel, and I'm very nearly 29. My husband and I purchased yesterday the unabridged audio book of Sarah Vowell's The Partly Cloudy Patriot, and in facing my 29th birthday, this quote from one of the essays, The First Thanksgiving, really struck home:

“I’m standing at the cutting board chopping sage and it hits me what it means that [my mother] is letting me be in charge of the dressing: I am going to die. Being in charge of the dressing means you are a grown-up for real, and being a grown-up for real means you’re getting old and getting old means you are definitely, finally, totally going to die. My mother is a grandmother and my sister is a mother and I have decided the dressing will be yellow this year, therefore, we’ll all be dead some day.”


Some Ramblings

About where I am from

Je suis acadienne, et la catholique culturelle, aussi, mais je ne suis pas religieux.

I grew up mostly in Lafayette, Louisiana. I love my culture, while also hating parts of it. Too much misplaced anger and pointed refusal to understand things like racism, poverty, classism, and too many people happy to blame other people rather than looking at systemic cultural issues. Too many conservatives with too much faith in the government. I cannot discuss anything political with my family. At all. Ever.

But I love it's uniqueness, I love the Cajun people as a whole, leaving out the ugly bits. The wonderful sense of humor, love of life (joie de vivre, n'est pas?), the food, the music, the story of struggles and survival in the face of the attempted genocide of the Acadian people, referred to as le Grand Dérangement.

I remember my Great-Grandpa Bourque fairly well, even though he died when I was only 7. He never learned to speak English, and only attended school until the 2nd grade. The humiliation and punishment he recieved for his language and culture, and his refusal to comply with the demands of the ones who tried to oppress him really speaks to me. Unfortunately, even though there were those like my great-grandpa that refused to comply, the language very nearly died out. But in the last few decades, organizations like CODOFIL have been working very hard to make sure that this doesn't happen. 

I'm Cajun, so therefore baptised and raised Catholic. I find Mass to be relaxing sometimes. I adore the Mary in a doorjams, or grottos, as I recently found out they are really called, and other Catholic things, like Saint cards and candles and statues. I love and collect rosaries, and like attending old school pre Vat II little old ladies with head coverings rosaries pre Mass. I generally like Catholocism, and while I am not practicing at all, I am a cradle Catholic and will always consider myself so, as it's so much a part of my cultural identity. I take a certain pride in this fact, that by God, my people were determined to be Catholic and screw the Protestant Reformation! 

Catholocism is also so still so unchanged, closer to the root of things, closer to where it came from. How far removed, say, Evangelical Christianism and most Protestantism is from anything that makes sense is baffling! At least Catholocism has roots in yearly cycles, and goddess worship, multitheism in all the saints, etc. The antisceptic weirdness and disconnect of say... Baptists or Pentecostal religions!! There are some of the old school protestants that are still in touch with those roots, too, though, don't get me wrong.

The bit where you might call me a godless heathen and pray for my soul

But really, that's all neither here nor there, as I consider myself an Ätheist. The umlaut is there to distinguish weak atheism. I am not so full of myself to say that there is unequivocably absolutely no god/gods/higher beings of the god-like variety, as I do not have anything to prove that they DO NOT exist, but neither do I have proof that they do, and probability strongly favors a lack of the existance of a god. And so I really really doubt that god exists, in the same way I really really doubt that are such things as unicorns, leprechauns, or Cthulhu. But just in case...  Ia! Ia! Cthulhu fhtagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah-nagl fhtaga!


The Coolest people in the world

Those are my 2 boys and my amazing husband creature. They are the most wonderful people I have ever known.