EXCERPT FROM THE ALEX KILGOUR JOKEBOOK

STEN'S LAWS OF COMBAT OPERATONS

Friendly Fire  - isn't

Recoilless rifles - aren't.

Suppressive fires - won't.

A sucking chest wound is Nature's way of telling you to slow down.

If it's stupid but it works, it isn't stupid.

Try to look unimportant; the enemy may be low on ammo and not want to waste a bullet on you.

Never forget that your weapon was made by the lowest bidder.

If your attack is going really well, it's an ambush.

The enemy invariably attacks on two occasions: when they're ready and when you're not.

Five second fuses always burn three seconds.

The easy way is always mined.

Teamwork is essential; it gives the enemy other people to shoot at.

Never draw fire; it irritates everyone around you.

If you are short of everything but the enemy, you are in the combat zone.

When you have secured the area, make sure the enemy knows it too.

Incoming fire has the right of way.

No combat ready unit has ever passed inspection.

If the enemy is within range, so are you.

The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire.

Things which must be shipped together as a set, aren't.

Com units will fail as soon as you need fire support.

Anything you do can get you killed, including nothing.

Make it too tough for the enemy to get in, and you won't be able to get out.

Tracers work both ways.

Professional soldiers are predictable; the world is full of dangerous amateurs.

Fortify your front; you'll get your rear shot up.

Weather ain't neutral.

If you can't remember, the Claymore is pointed towards you.

Mines are equal opportunity weapons.

The one item you need is always in short supply.

Interchangeable parts aren't.

It's not the one with your name on it; it's the one addressed "to whom it may concern" you've got to think about.

When in doubt, empty your magazine.

The side with the simplest uniforms wins.

If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you may have misjudged the situation.

Whenever you lose contact with the enemy, look behind you.

The most dangerous thing in the combat zone is an officer with a map.

The quartermaster has only two sizes, too large and too small.

If you really need an officer in a hurry, take a nap.

There is nothing more satisfying than having someone take a shot at you, and miss.

Close only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades.

The enemy always times his attack to the second you squat on the Loo.


Here's Where To Get The Jokebook:

WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THE STEN SERIES? CHECK OUT THE STEN PAGE 

Comments