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Awesome Good Clean Jokes for Kids
Bob Phillips’ original GOOD CLEAN JOKES FOR KIDS was such a hit that the master jokester has scoured the earth (well, not quite) for even more crazy riddles, puns, knock-knocks, wisecracks, and tongue twisters. Enjoy them alone or try them out on unsuspecting friends, parents, and youth leaders:82% (12)
Q. What do you call a ship that lies on the bottom of the ocean and shakes?
A. A nervous wreck.
Q. What is an astronaut’s favorite meal?
Diesel all make you laugh if you aren’t very bright.
Totally awesome fun! For kids of all ages.
10 Things About Me, (Sandra and Dale tagged me)
1. I am a wife, mom, daughter, sister, auntie, cousin, niece and friend... This is my Mom with me in this picture taken by my oldest daughter... she is in fragile health and it makes me sad as I know that I will soon be losing (in this life) my Mom, best friend, person most like a sister I have ever had... She is the person who accepts me no matter how disappointed in me she may be! She gave me a love for words, reading and God... I have had the VERY BEST MOM in the Whole Wide World.. 2. I am a hoarder... there are several reasons for this, but i will be brief.. there came a time when i FEARED that if i was going to have the nice things, we probably wouldn't inherit them or afford new stuff, so i began gathering nice things at thrift stores, garage/estate sales etc... I am now in the midst of de-hoarding, but am ashamed about it and get depressed at times, thinking if people knew what a slob i am they wont like me... 3. I am now friends with Dawn, Dale, Cora and Sandra on Facebook... such a kick! I spend wayyyy too much time on facebook... It has been so fun getting caught up with friends from highschool, college, younger days, and making new ones! I like Farmville okay... really like Yoville because i get to decorate houses and they stay clean and just like Sandra i have reached the maximum level, but right now i love CafeVille... which takes me to number- 4. I don't like cooking... somewhere in the almost 35 years i have been married to Bob... the "what to make for dinner" ability left me... I find cooking a chore... unless i have something in mind to fix and all the ingredients at hand... 5. I have naturally curly hair which was the bane of my existence in my hippie high school years, but which I really like having now... 6. I have 5 children... two sets... the first two are Danica 31, and Joshua 29... then 29+ years ago we moved to Seattle where my husband spent 7 years going to school and earning 2 degrees... After that phase or our lives, we had Nate and Kendra who are our twinnies and are now 21 and our caboose, Susanna just turned 18-- Susanna is the only one home right now. We homeschooled them all and have no regrets whatsoever about that. The youngest 3 however, I used the assistance of the Public School beginning at 7th grade to help me as Washington state has a great program that allows homeschooled kids to take classes with other homeschooled kids as a supplement to the homeschooling... the Twins graduated from the Community College with their Associates degrees at age 18 and were honors students... The youngest is in that program now, just starting her second semester. None are married or have children... they are all upstanding kids and especially for the oldest 2 I would be glad to consider applications to date, court marry-- to turn over to them to see if I can't find them spouses... 7. I try to sell stuff on eBay... I think I am somewhat of an expert in Oneida Stainless Flatware and have lots of Gorham and International stainless flatware to sell as well... (I said i was a hoarder... you have NO idea... ) I also sell Mikasa, Noritake etc china, and Pfaltzgraff stuff, and Corelle.... and other stuff as well... but I get sidetracked and don't get things listed so often...I am looking into selling some of the more vintage things on Etsy, but haven't gotten far on that... 8. My new hobby, photography, keeps me from gathering more junk, and i am pretty good at deleting pictures that aren't so great... It has also given me new friends, new eyes and an outlet for my creativity, which kinda got buried while raising kids.. 9. I am a Christian-- as a depressed and suicidal teenager, I met the living Son of God, Jesus and He completely changed my life... I am a Revivalist, who believes miracles still happen and that Jesus Christ is the Same, Yesterday, Today and Forever. I believe the Supernatural should be as natural as breathing... not weird, just natural... 10.. I believe that a sense of humor is one of the greatest things God gave mankind (womankind if you prefer)... Our whole family has been blessed with an enormous amount of it and we laugh at ourselves often. I heard that the reason angels can fly is that they don't take themselves too seriously! I like that thought!FUP ~Nothing more needs be said~
FUP - A story by Jim Dodge This is the book you want to read to that kid in high school who doesn't understand why books are anything. This is the book you want to read to the person you think might fall in love with you. This is the book you want to read to your friends so you will laugh together like you never have. This is the book to read when the world is too serious. This is the book to read when you are too serious about yourself. This is the book to read when you feel dull and uninterested. This is the book to read if you've gotten too big for your britches. This is the book to read if you feel more Christian than someone who cusses. This is the book to read if you want things you can't name. This is good medicine: a short shot, powerful. FUP is the American book. Review By: Ann Pai (from Amazon.com)
This dazzling collection of brilliant (and maybe not-so-brilliant) jokes, puns, one-liners, silly stories, and quirky quips will amaze and astound your friends and family. Giggles, guffaws, and groans are guaranteed as you share crazy conversations and hilarious observations—Similar posts:
“Daddy, the teacher was reading the Bible to us—all about the children of Israel building the temple, the children of Israel crossing the Red Sea, the children of Israel making sacrifices. Didn’t the grownups do anything?”
“You’re the laziest fellow I have seen.
Don’t you do anything quickly?”
“Yes, I get tired fast.”
“I haven’t slept for days.”
“I only sleep at night!”
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