Church of Gravity

The Church of Gravity

Devoted to the religious worship of the gravity and it's prophets, Newton and Einstein

Our first Bible

Welcome to the Church of Gravity. Here you will find information about our religion. We have many naysayers that claim we are a religion and we are her to finally admit that we are. Some would say these people are projecting ( attaching their position onto us in an attempt to show how we are just like them) but we are here to say this is not true. They are NOT projecting. We are, in fact, exactly like them. While they choose to worship Yahweh and Jesus and have a holy book that they take very literally...especially the Book of Genesis, we also do the same. We worship Newton and Einstein and have our own holy books. These are the Philosophiae Naturalis Principia Mathematica (now known as the Principia) which was published on July 5, 1687 by the great prophet Sir Issac Newton and the Die Feldgleichungen der Gravitation (The Field Equations of Gravitation), published on November 25, 1915 by the great prophet Albert Einstein.

We have been accused of refining our theories from time to time and this is proof that gravity is false. While we readily admit that we have yet to discover the graviton, we ask that you please have faith that one day we will. In 2008 we will be opening one of our greatest and biggest churches. It's name is the Large Hadron Collider and is currently under construction in Europe. Once we discover more about gravity at our new church, we hope to put this controversy behind us once and for all.

We have recently become aware of another church trying to take credit for gravity. It's followers are called pastafarians and they have this "theory" called Intelligent Falling. We denounce these people. They are nothing but a satanic pirate cult!


Our Priestess

Lisa Randall

Lisa is awaiting experimental results from the Large Hadron Collider.

She hopes to discover if gravity is escaping unto other branes.

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