Quotations I Like 


 Here are a smattering of quotes I like, in no particular order. Some are funny, some serious, some just odd. I have given credit where known and claim no responsibility for the accuracy (or implied inaccuracy) of these quotes. Enjoy! 

  • So long, and thanks for all the fish.  - Douglas Adams
  • I'm not sure what the exact definition of geek is, but I think "enjoys recharging batteries" has to be very high on that list. - Jeff Atwood
  • As you journey through life take a minute every now and then to give a thought for the other fellow. He could be plotting something. - Hagar The Horrible
  • The demon coughed nervously (demons do not  breathe; however, every intelligent being, whether it breathes or not, coughs nervously at some time in its life. And this was one of them as far as the demon was concerned). - Terry Pratchett
  • Ninety percent accuracy is not as good as silence. - Yueh-Lin 
  • The significant problems we have cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them.
      - Albert Einstein
  • [I did this] by the authority of my soul... - Adam Charles Kokesh 
  • As disturbing as anxiety and depression are - there will be a reason why several billion years into our evolution on planet Earth - some of our greatest insights have been made by individuals who shortly thereafter killed themselves. - Fellow ADDF Forum Member
  • "How's your morning going?" - "It's calm, but not entirely intelligent." - Tess Hembree

  • In the beginning, the Universe was created. This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move. - Douglas Adams

  • The point of all this is to be able to spend more time at the beach! - Nils Nilsson

  • The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one. - George Bernard Shaw

  • Being famous has its benefits, but fame isn't one of them. - Larry Wall

  • It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it. - Aristotle

  • Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor. - Werner von Braun

  • Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. - Albert Einstein

  • Far out in the uncharted backwaters of the unfashionable end of the Western Spiral arm of the Galaxy lies a small unregarded yellow sun. Orbiting this at a distance of roughly ninety-eight million miles is an utterly insignificant little blue-green planet whose ape-descended life forms are so amazingly primitive that they still think digital watches are a pretty neat idea. - Douglas Adams

  • Power corrupts, and obsolete power corrupts obsoletely. - Ted Nelson, on the Microsoft DOS operating system

  • Only wimps use tape backup: real men just upload their important stuff on ftp, and let the rest of the world mirror it. - Linus Torvalds

  • Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it. - Richard Feynman

  • Lord, give us the wisdom to utter words that are gentle and tender, for tomorrow we may have to eat them. - Senator Morris Udall

  • I don't want to achieve immortality through my work ... I want to achieve it through not dying. - Woody Allen

  • "Wehrmachtnachrichtungenverbindungen," von Hacklheber says, very slowly, as if repeating nursery rhymes to a toddler. He blinks once, twice, three times at Shaftoe, then sits forward and says, brightly: "Perhaps I should explain the organization of the German intelligence hierarchy, since it will help you all to understand my story."


    Shaftoe only hears the first couple of sentences. At about the point when von Hacklheber tears a sheet out of a notebook and begins to diagram the organizational tree of the Thousand-Year Reich, with "Der Fuhrer" at the top, Shaftoe's eyes take on a heavy glaze, his body goes slack, he becomes deaf, and he accelerates up the throat of a nightmare, like the butt of a half-digested corn dog being reverse-peristalsed from the body of an addict. He has never been through this experience before, but he knows intuitively that this is how the trip to Hell works: no leisurely boat ride across the scenic Styx, no gradual descent into that trite tourist trap, Pluto's Cavern, no stops along the way to buy fishing licenses for the Lake of Fire.

    - The Cryptonomicon by Neal Stephenson


    Quotes from people in the Western Washington University Mathematics Department

  • To truly sound like a chicken, you have to capture the paranoia that a chicken feels. - Lael Hebert

  • I can explain zero to babies. I take their pacifier away and they immediately know zero. - Branko Curgus

  • We will study the more abstract aspects of analyis because they are so applicable. - Branko Curgus

  • And then we prove uniqueness and blah, blah, blah... - Branko Curgus

  • This whole morning thing is a bad idea - Paul Carr

  • (Speaking about Ben Casler) Just ignore him - he's weird. - Paul Carr

  • If you disagree with this, YOU HAVE A HUGE PROBLEM! - Branko Curgus


    Quotes from Dune by Frank Herbert

  • Do you wrestle with dreams?
    Do you contend with shadows?
    Do you move in a kind of sleep?
    Time has slipped away.
    Your life is stolen.
    You tarried with trifles,
    Victim of your folly.

  • What do you despise? By this are you truly known.

  • The concept of progress acts like a protective mechanism to shield us from the terrors of the future.

  • Deep within the human unconscious is a pervasive need for a logical universe that makes sense. But the real universe is always one step beyond logic.

  • How often it is that the angry man rages denial of what his inner self is telling him.


    Quotes from Dune: Messiah by Frank Herbert

  • Empires do not suffer emptiness of purpose at the time of their creation. It is when they have become established that aims are lost and replaced by vague ritual.


    Quotes from Children of Dune by Frank Herbert

  • Atrocity is recognized as such by victim and predator alike, by all who learn about it at whatever remove. Atrocity has no excuses, no mitigating argument. Atrocity never balances or rectifies the past. Atrocity merely arms the future for more atrocity. It is self-perpetuating upon itself--a barbarous form of incest. Whoever commits atrocity also commits those atrocities thus bred.

  • Good government never depends upon laws, but upon the personal qualities of those who govern. The machinery of government is always subordinate to the will of those who administer that machinery. The most important element of government, therefore, is the method of choosing leaders.

  • Governments, if they endure, always tend increasingly toward aristocratic forms. No government in history has been known to evade this pattern. And as the aristocracy develops, government tends more and more to act exclusively in the interests of the ruling class--whether that class be hereditary royalty, oligarchs of financial empires, or entrenched bureaucracy.

  • Because of the one-pointed Time awareness in which the conventional mind remains immersed, humans tend to think of everything in a sequential, word-oriented framework. This mental trap produces very short-term concepts of effectiveness and consequences, a condition of constant, unplanned response to crises.

  • Time is a measure of space... but measuring locks us into the place we measure.

  • The child who refuses to travel in the father's harness, this is the symbol of man's most unique capability. "I do not have to be what my father was. I do not have to obey my father's rules or even believe everything he believed. It is my strength as a human that I can make my own choices of what to believe and what not to believe, of what to be and what not to be.


    Quotes from Heretics of Dune by Frank Hebert

  • Most discipline is hidden discipline, designed not to liberate but to limit. Do not ask Why? Be cautious with How? Why? leads inexorably to paradox. How? traps you in a universe of cause and effect. Both deny the infinite.

  • Technology, in common with many other activities, tends toward avoidance of risks by investors. Uncertainty is ruled out if possible. Capital investment follows this rule, since people generally prefer the predictable. Few recognize how destructive this can be, how it imposes severe limits on variability and thus makes whole populations fatally vulnerable to the shocking ways our universe can throw the dice.

  • Law always chooses sides on the basis of enforcement power. Mortality and legal niceties have little to do with it when the real question is: Who was the clout?

  • Bureaucracy destroys initiative. There is little that bureaucrats hate more than innovation, especially innovation that produces better results than the old routines. Improvements always make those at the top of the heap look inept. Who enjoys appearing inept?
  • Historians exercise great power and some of them know it. They recreate the past, changing it to fit their own interpretations. Thus, they change the future as well.

  • Memory never recaptures reality. Memory reconstructs. All reconstructions change the original, becoming external frames of reference that inevitably fall short.

  • Concealed behind strong barriers the heart becomes ice.


    Quotes from Chapterhouse Dune

  • Confine yourself to observing and you always miss the point of your own life. The object can be stated this way: Live the best life you can. Life is a game whose rules you learn if you leap into it and play it to the hilt. Otherwise, you are caught off balance, continually surprised by the shifting play. Non-players often whine and complain that luck always passes them by. They refuse to see that they can create some of luck.

  • All governments suffer a recurring problem: Power attracts pathological personalities. It is not that power corrupts but that it is magnetic to the corruptible. Such people have a tendency to become drunk on violence, a condition to which they are quickly addicted.

  • Corruption wears infinite disguises.

  • Education is no substitute for intelligence. The elusive quality is defined only in part by puzzle-solving ability. It is the creation of new puzzles reflecting what your senses report that you round out the definition.

  • Many things we do naturally become difficult only when we try to make them intellectual subjects. It is possible to know so much about a subject that you become totally ignorant.

  • Laws to suppress tend to strengthen what they would prohibit. This is the fine point on which all the legal professions of history have based their job security.

  • To know a thing well, know its limits. Only when pushed beyond its tolerances will true nature be seen.

  • Do not depend only on theory if your life is at stake.

  • Major flaws in government arise from a fear of making radical internal changes even though a need is clearly seen.

  • Give me the judgment of balanced minds in preference to laws every time. Codes and manuals create patterned behavior. All patterned behavior tends to go unquestioned, gathering destructive momentum.

  • No sweeteners will cloak some forms of bitterness. If it tastes bitter, spit it out. That's what our earliest ancestors did.

  • Enter no conflict against fanatics unless you can defuse them. Oppose a religion with another religion only if your proofs (miracles) are irrefutable or if you can mesh in a way that the fanatics accept you as god-inspired. This has long been the barrier to science assuming a mantel of divine revelation. Science is so obviously man-made. Fanatics (and many are fanatic on one subject or another) must know where you stand, but more important, must recognize who whispers in your ear.

  • Answers are a perilous grip on the universe. They can appear sensible yet explain nothing.

  • Do not be quick to reveal judgment. Hidden judgment is often more potent. It can guide reactions whose effects are felt only when too late to divert them.


    Futurama Quotes

  • Friends help! A guinea pig tricked me! - Zoidberg

  • I'm sure their God will let them out, or at least give them more shoes to eat. - Fry

  • Drugs are for losers, and hypnotism is for losers with big, weird eyebrows! - Fry

  • Each pound of dark matter weighs over 10,000 pounds! - Farnsworth

  • I thought you knew that algebra was all razzmatazz - Bubblegum Tate

  • Leela: I don't know what you did, Fry, but now all the planets in the galaxy are gonna be crackin' wise about our Mommas...
    Hermes: I'm just glad my fat ugly Mama isn't around to see 'dis day...
    Professor: Enough about your promiscious mother, Hermes...

  • I'm sorry � that song doesn't normally last 3 hours but we got into a serious thing and then I forgot how it ended. - Beck

  • Space.....it seems to go on and on forever, but then you get to the end and the gorilla starts throwing barrels at you. - Fry

  • Pleading Man: Please, Don bot can't you search your hard drive and command dot run your sympathy file?
    Don bot: File Not Found (Shoots him)

  • Fry: I bet Leela's waiting for a nice guy with one eye.
    Bender: That'll take forever. What she should do is find a nice guy with two eyes, and poke one of them out

  • Fry: Wow, back in the twentieth century, I had all five of your albums.
    Beastie Boy: That was 1,000 years ago. Now we have seven.

  • Blackmail is such an ugly word. I prefer extortion. The x makes it sound cool. - Bender

  • This is the worst kind of discrimination - the kind against me! - Bender

  • If we can hit this bulls eye, all the dominos will fall like a house of cards...checkmate! � Zapp

  • Leela: Aren't you Zapp Brannigan? you stopped the fleet of kill-bots, right? how did you do it?
    Zapp: It was simple really. Kill-bots have a preset "kill limit." Once they reach this limit, they shut down. Knowing their weakness, I just sent wave after wave of our own men into battle against them, once they killed them all, they were effectively shut down.

  • All I want out of life is to be a monkey of moderate intelligence who wears a suit. That's why I've decided to transfer to business school!" - Gunther