still less truth to tell..
 
 

I was bored that day. Nothing was there to do. I get bored simply because I am.. I am bored.

People just think of boredom as a bug that has to be whooshed away. But they know the nasty bug comes again and sits on them. Then again shoo it away. Then again sits on you.

It is this bug that makes you to live. I felt the mere purpose of existence is nothing but beating the boredom.

 

I felt something really true in this.. More than a careless thought that comes when you are bored or a thought that simply is a blown up balloon of fantasy with little meaning. I felt Art, Literature, Sports, Adventure, Cinema, Internet chat, Sex, Porn, Love, emotion, patriotism, Depression, loneliness, killing, cheating, ethics, socialization, science, curiosity, fashion, family, friends everything roots to this simple feeling boredom. That was a realization. A realization that links to existence.

 

 

Kafka’s samsa becomes a bug because he was utterly bored of his routine. Samsa took a rather surreal way of beating boredom. Like a mesh we have created a society with rules routines religion and ethics to protect us from this boredom in one way and in the other way to cut the curiosity, which becomes the basic instinct of man to tackle or cure boredom. This mesh when loses its balance individuals get affect rather it be your yawn in the lecture hall or your suicide in a dark dull lodge room.

 

 

Pattern of thoughts that made me feel amused why such a simple thing has not been thought off in philosophy, rather a very important and deterministic thing that even science has to think of.

 

Googled it and found I was absurdly wrong. People have understood this long back. Existentialists, psychologists, scientists,cartoonists, writers everyone have talked about this. (Stupid mankind always thinks about every peanut matter.. hmmm.. another way to break boredom).

 

It is this boredom that man fears more than his death. A tired old clerk of a government office when gets retired gets bored. He then thinks of his purpose of existence. He thinks he is useless now. Burden to everyone. Here the mesh becomes fragile.  The mesh, which protected him giving him a purpose and made him do something and masked him from his boredom suddenly, became weary. There he collapses or atleast confused.

 But  yes society has more options. If you want you can still imagine your mesh. My dad does that. He simply goes on with a simple sleep little bit of religion, a lot of family, ego, creating pieces of smaller purposes, be it recharging my mobile number,calling his brother, or pressing our shirts. The mesh is strong for him even now.

 

 

I started buying flowers one day. A purpose created intentionally. Then, some petty pictures on my room walls one day. Again, an intentional purpose. The purpose was named simple things and my own personality. It worked . And yes when it became  a routine I changed. Not intentionally this time.

 

 

At times I get this existentialistic boredom. A   really big bug to shoo away. But then there is my brother. Chit chat with him. My mom and my dad. My friends, My books, my movies my laptop my travel my sexual pleasures.  I switch between these rather unknowingly many times and knowingly some times to beat boredom.  There might be  no meaning for what I do or rather a trifle meaning that socially was made to be a real purpose. Family, love, emotions, philospophy and blah-blahs.  Wow! Life is simple.

 

 

A logical cube is getting fit  piece by piece slowly. May be this my cake. May be I am oversimplifying to hide my fear. So what? Its what everyone out there tried to do. There is still truth hiding. Its better for it to hide. For truth is bitter. Perceptions are simpler and addictive.