History of the BaconBug

A tale of shock and awe 

I remember it all like a hazy dream.  T'was a warm and summer night on the docks of Port Washington.  The air was still, as if weighed down by the humidity that surrounded us.  I don't remember what we were doing that night, or why we were there, but I assure you whatever it was could not have prepared my friends and me for what we were soon to encounter.

    As we stood amidst the cars and listened to the roar of the waves I noticed something moving in the corner of my eye.  At first I dismissed it as common insect or perhaps even a simple trick of the eye, but it was so much more.  Gradually my curiosity took hold of me and I went in for a closer look.  What I saw shocked me beyond belief.  This was no ordinary insect.  I instantly recognized that there was something unique about this particular creature and was overcome by the desire to both study it and protect it.  In my haste I devised a temporary habitat out of an empty pack of Parliament Lights for me to place the little white bug in for safe keeping.  But this insect would of course need an ample food supply as well.  Insects usually being herbivores, I gathered as many small leaves and blades of grass as I could comfortably place in his new home.   I then closed the top of the pack and gave him some personal time to get adjusted.

    After an hour or so I decided it was time to check up on my new discovery, but when I opened the pack of Parliaments I was in for a shock.... he was nowhere to be found.  Being a bright white color I assumed I would be able to spot him easily amongst the green leaves and grass, but this was a poorly made assumption.  You see after a few minutes of anguished searching I found him sitting atop a leaf, only he was different from before.  He was green!  This newly discovered insect had the ability to rapidly change his colors to adapt to his surroundings much like a chameleon.  But this was only the first of my discoveries.

    This insect was surrounded by delicious leaves and grass for well over an hour, yet did not even do as much as nibble on them.  Why?  Using my superior powers of logic and deduction I concluded that he was in fact a carnivore, and being as superior creature as he seemed to be it was safe to assume that such an awesome insect would naturally settle for only the tastiest of meats... bacon.

    I am sure that given more time to study this king of bugs I would have been able to uncover more of its superior powers, but this was not to be.  No creature as powerful as the BaconBug could be contained for long by the likes of us mere humans, so when we were distracted he ran away.  At least I assume he ran since despite having wings he seemed to lack the ability to fly, perhaps due to crippling wound suffered in a grand battle long ago.  But even without flight his chameleon-like abilities would have been more than enough to make his escape, never to be seen again.