I remember it all like a hazy dream. T'was a warm and summer
night on the docks of Port Washington. The air was still, as if
weighed down by the humidity that surrounded us. I don't remember
what we were doing that night, or why we were there, but I assure you
whatever it was could not have prepared my friends and me for what we
were soon to encounter.
As we stood amidst the cars and listened to the roar of the waves
I noticed something moving in the corner of my eye. At first I
dismissed it as common insect or perhaps even a simple trick of the
eye, but it was so much more. Gradually my curiosity took hold of
me and I went in for a closer look. What I saw shocked me beyond
belief. This was no ordinary insect. I instantly
recognized that there was something unique about this particular
creature and was overcome by the desire to both study it and protect
it. In my haste I devised a temporary habitat out of an empty
pack of Parliament Lights for me to place the little white bug in for
safe keeping. But this insect would of course need an ample food
supply as well. Insects usually being herbivores, I gathered as
many small leaves and blades of grass as I could comfortably place in
his new home. I then closed the top of the pack and gave him some personal time to get adjusted.
After an hour or so I decided it was time to check up on my new
discovery, but when I opened the pack of Parliaments I was in for a
shock.... he was nowhere to be found. Being a bright white color
I assumed I would be able to spot him easily amongst the green leaves
and grass, but this was a poorly made assumption. You see after a
few minutes of anguished searching I found him sitting atop a leaf,
only he was different from before. He was green! This newly
discovered insect had the ability to rapidly change his colors to adapt
to his surroundings much like a chameleon. But this was only the
first of my discoveries.
This insect was surrounded by delicious leaves and grass for well over
an hour, yet did not even do as much as nibble on them.
Why? Using my superior powers of logic and deduction I concluded
that he was in fact a carnivore, and being as superior creature as he
seemed to be it was safe to assume that such an awesome insect would naturally settle for only the tastiest of meats... bacon.
I am sure that given more time to study this king of bugs I would have
been able to uncover more of its superior powers, but this was not to
be. No creature as powerful as the BaconBug could be contained
for long by the likes of us mere humans, so when we were distracted he
ran away. At least I assume he ran since despite having wings he
seemed to lack the ability to fly, perhaps due to crippling wound
suffered in a grand battle long ago. But even without flight his
chameleon-like abilities would have been more than enough to make his
escape, never to be seen again.