Sherlock Holmes Toasts

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Sherlock Holmes Toasts
 
 
 

Below you will find a selection of Toasts to Sherlock Holmes and Company. Many were written by members of the NMSOBC.



Master's Dinner Toasts for 2016:



Toast to the Master, Sherlock Holmes

By Jan Cassetta

 

We gather this evening to celebrate the birthday of a man who never lived and thus can never die-to quote Vincent Starrett from his famous poem, “it is always 1895.”

But why has Sherlock Holmes continued to appeal to subsequent generations since the Victorian era?  He is of course a brilliant detective, a warrior in the eternal battle between good and evil.

But he is also a man of great contradictions.

He is the most cerebral of men and yet subject to uncontrollable mood swings that range from manic activity to the depths of languor and depression from which he seeks solace in the forlorn strains of his Stradivarius and in the oblivion of the 7% solution.

H stands for lawfulness but not necessarily the letter of the law.  After all he breaks into houses with impunity if he deems it necessary and lets a known thief go because it is the season of forgiveness while he allows the innocent man to languish in jail.

He seems to have no interest in the fair sex but he secretly keeps a photograph of The Woman in his desk.

He is an isolated man who does not seem to crave human contact and yet he enjoys a deep and lasting relationship with one true friend.

In short he is an enigma, a continuing puzzle that intrigues each generation.  Perhaps the greatest mystery of all is Sherlock Holmes himself.

So join me in a toast to a man who lives forever in the realm of imagination.  To the eternally fascinating Sherlock Holmes.

 

 To the Master!



Toast To The Trusted Associate

By Maria Vaughan


Originally Conan Doyle wanted to name Sherlock’s trusted associate Ormond Sacker.

 I am so glad that he changed his mind. Sacker rhymes with knacker, which in British slang means to kill or to tire or exhaust.

 The temptation might be to refer to Mr. Sacker as “Sacker the Knacker” or “Sacker the Knackered”.

 Those just wouldn’t do for such a loyal and noble friend, now would it?


Let us propose a toast to our favorite chronicler.


To the Trusted Associate, DR. John Watson



A Toast to Queen Elizabeth

By Jim Cassetta

 

To Queen Elizabeth of 16 realms including the UK, Canada, Australia and New Zealand.

As leader of the Commonwealth you are head of state for 1 quarter of the world population.

For us in this room you have been known as “The Queen” for most, and for some, all of our lives.

In your coronation the drag from your robes made it difficult for you to walk the aisle of Westminster Abby.  You bade the Archbishop of Canterbury “get me started.”  He did so have been moving forward ever since.

In September of the past year you became the longest reigning British monarch.

With great strength and grace you have overseen the transition from empire to commonwealth and remain head of state well into the 21st century.

May god bless you in your continued reign!


Long Live the Queen.


Toast to Maggie Oakshott

By Champ Vaughan 



Let us visit Brixton Road to pay our respects 

to the sister of James Ryder.

 If it hadn’t been for Maggie, the one who raised the goose,

we’d all be in some other club or just out running loose.

Here’s to Maggie Oakshott.


Toast To Dr. John Watson

By NMSOBC member- Unknown


Please raise your glasses to the esteemed Dr. John Watson,

To Sherlock Holmes he was many things:


Companion, Confidant, Comrade, and Chronicler.

In “The Greek Interpreter”, Mycroft remarked to Watson; I hear of Sherlock everywhere since you became his chronicler!

We too would morn the loss of Sherlock Holmes adventures were it not for Watson’s gift of storytelling.


Watson serves as a foil to Holmes: the ordinary man against the brilliant emotionally-detached analytical mind that Holmes is: but Watson was still more, the one person Holmes could depend on-one who would come when Holmes needed him, the one soul Holmes could call friend.


Watson was indeed Holmes friend-I would consider myself lucky to have such a true and loyal friend.

Holmes said it best: Good old Watson! You are the one fixed point in a changing age. 

It doesn’t even begin ti scratch the surface.



 


Master's Dinner Toasts for 2014:


Toast to Sherlock Holmes

To Sherlock Homes


Nether a Lions mane

Or a blackmailers gain

Will keep Holmes from sleuthing.

 Walking in a London fog

Or hiking around  a dartmoor bog

Can keep Holmes from sleuthing


Whether in an opium den

Or deciphering dancing men

There will be Holmes a sleuthing.


A stone in a goose,

Crooks on the loose!

Be glad that Holmes is a sleuthing.

With Watsons stories highly infective,

To the worlds first consulting detective!

 

By Michael Poe of the NMSOBC


Toast to the Trusted Associate, Dr John Watson

Dr. John Watson will always be, " The Trusted Associate,"
But for us here tonight, Watson is much more.
Good old Watson, you truly are the one fixed point in a changing age.
Someone we would be honored to have as our dinner companion;
But only on an evening when the Portland fog swirls past our,
Window panes, with all our ears attuned to the shout,
"The game is afoot."
Only then, for those thingsour hearts believe are true,
Will it be an evening, where it is always eighteen-ninety-two.
To Watson

By Don Wissusick of the NMSOBC

A Toast to King Edward VII


To Albert Edward, eldest son of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert of Saxe-Coburg and Gotha, who served the second longest time as Prince of Wales and (2011) longest-serving Heir Apparent;



Who, in 1860, made the first visit to North America by an heir to the English throne, stayed for three days with President Buchanan at the White House, and paid respects at the tomb of George Washington at Mount Vernon;

Who knighted Arthur Conan Doyle in 1902 (but not for the Sherlock Holmes stories).



Ladies & Gentlemen, let us raise our glass to H. I. H. Edward VII of Great Britain, Northern Ireland, and Possessions beyond the Seas, and Emperor of All India:

To King Edward!

 

By John Schilke of the NMSOBC


A Toast To Queen Victoria

Ladies and Gentleman please rise as I offer a toast to our Grand Sovereign Queen Victoria.

Much beloved by her people she has grace and beauty to our great land.

She was given the affectionate title The Grand Mother of Europe. For she watched over her people as a mother watches over her children.

To her majesty Victoria, by the Grace of God of The United Kingdom of Great Britain and Ireland, Queen defender of the faith

Empress of India

The Queen!

By Robert Argyll of the NMSOBC


Toast to Queen Elizabeth II

Born in London on April 21 1926,

Great-great granddaughter of Queen Victoria,

Daughter of George VI

Who is it? Queen Elizabeth II,

Became the British Monarch on 6 February 1952,

Constitutional Monarch of 16 sovereign nations and head of the 53 member Commonwealth of Nations.

Husband- Prince Philip

Four children - Charles, Anne, Andrew, and Edward

Note: The original spelling Elizabeth was Elisabeth - the "z" spelling became popular after

Elizabeth I became Queen.

Has reigned as the British Monarch for more than 61 years,

Victoria was the reigning British Monarch ( from 20 June 1837 to 22 January 1901 for a total of 63 years, 7 months).

If Elizabeth surpasses Queen Victoria as the longest reigning British Monarch,

she will have to serve until 9 September 2015

To Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II

To the Queen

By Champ Vaughan of the NMSOBC



Toast In praise of the Literary Agent- Arthur Conan Doyle


For Doctor Watson writing was his passion and chronicling the work and wisdom of Mr. Sherlock Holmes, consulting detective, his calling; however he had a problem, his manuscripts of the Holmes’ cases were piling up on his desk unread, destined to be nothing more than a collection of personal scribblings, unless he could get them published and circulated to a much wider audience than one. It became imperative to find some way to reach the populace, less Sherlock Holmes’s wisdom and knowledge be lost to the ages.

He needed the help of someone who understood the business of periodical and book publishing and distribution. He really wanted and needed a manager of his finances, business and literary affairs so he could focus on his life mission of writing and chronicling the brilliance of Sherlock Holmes. 

We are here tonight because Doctor Watson found such a man in a literary agent, who by his contacts and hard work found a way to get the narratives of Sherlock Holmes published and disseminated not only throughout the Empire but also in multiple linguistic translations to a worldwide audiences.

So please stand and lift your glasses high in honor of the literary agent without whose efforts the wisdom and genius of the Master would never have been entrusted to us and surely would have been lost forever;

Please join me in honoring MR. Arthur Conan Doyle- literary Agent

Hip – Hip 

By John Ellis of the NMSOBC

 

Toast to Irene Adler

I rise to propose a toast to Irene Adler, born in New Jersey, 1858.

Contralto opera singer of La Scala in Milan, Italy,

Primadona at the Imperial Opera House of Warsaw,

Poland's capital city.

Actress often dressed  in men's clothes,

Says Sherlock Holmes," What a woman-oh what a woman",

Says Sherlock Holmes, "The voice of an angel. a lovely thing, the face a man might die for,

The only woman to ever outwit me at my game".

Accorded the honorable title of " The Woman".

I give you Irene Adler!

All the above is true, that,s why I married her.

Godfrey Norton

By Fritz Camp of the NMSOBC


Toast to Poor John Horner

Horner accused

Greedy James Ryder interferes

Innocent Horner readily blamed

Plumber John nervously waits in the Assizes

Oh what will Holmes Do next!

By Terri Zensen of the NMSOBC 



 


 

Sherlock Holmes's Prayer

 

The prayer of the world's greatest consulting detective...

 

[1] Grant me, O spirit of Reason, matter for Deduction, Intuition, and Analysis; plenty of three-pipe problems, that I may avoid the cowardice of seven percent cocaine, or at least substitute something a little special in white wines.

 

[2] Grant me newspapers, telegrams, and the grind of carriage wheels against the kerb; the meditative breakfast at morning; the unexpected client in the night-time. And, occasionally, the alerting word grotesque.

 

[3] Strengthen me not to astonish the good Watson merely for theatrical pleasure; yet always to be impatient of Unmitigated Bleat; and of Guessing, which rots the logical faculty.

 

[4] If in hours of dullness neither the Turkish bath nor mediaeval charters, nor my scrapbooks nor my fiddle avail to soothe, turn my attention to the infallible reactions of chemistry—or to that rational and edifying insect the Bee.

 

[5] Remind me that there is a season of forgiveness for misfortune; but never for the incredible imbecility of bunglers(from LeCoq to Lestrade).

 

[6] In all the joys of action let me not forget the intellectual achievements of lethargy; to wit, Mycroft; and, slightly less to wit, Moriarty.

 

[7] Burden me not with unrelated facts, but encourage the habit of synthetic observation, collating the distinctions between the various. As the hand of the lithotyper is to that of the cork-cutter, so are the types of the Morning Mercury to those of the Yorkshire Post.

 

[8] Remember, 0 spirit, to Segregate the Queen. Viz., the fair sex is Watson's department. For me, the Mind is All. But one confession in remembrance: the pistol-shot initials on the sitting-room wall were not what Watson thought. In the name of that Gracious Lady my favorite letters were the last two. I was writing not VR but IA. The Baker Street Underground shook my aim.

 

[9] Hold fast the doctrine: When all impossibles are eliminated, what remains, however improbable, must be the Truth.

 

[10] Then, O spirit, be the Game Afoot! 

 

S.H. [by Christopher morley]

Recited by Terri Zensen of the NMSOBC

 




 

 

 

Reichenbach Falls Welcome Message and Toasts:

 

 

Welcome Message:

 

Each year at this time the Noble and Most Singular Order of the Blue Carbuncle meets for a symbolic memorial of Reichenbach Falls where the Great Detective Sherlock Holmes confronts his arch nemesis the master criminal, Professor Moriarty for a final climatic battle, as recorded in the Arthur Conan Doyle story, The Final Problem.

 

Wreath Placing:

 

We place this wreath to honor the worlds greatest consulting Detective Sherlock Holmes and his not so untimely demise. Indeed to paraphrase Churchill: Never in the field of literature have so many owed so much ( in reading pleasure ) to a single fictional character.

 

Toast to Sherlock Holmes

 

In addition to the Great Detective with all his keen powers of observation and deduction, we have a tapestry of plots, characters, places, details, woven together in excellent and enjoyable English prose in Victorian England. 

Where else would we be exposed to opium dens, monographs, secret codes, London fogs, the sound of horses on cobblestone streets...Plus tantalizing untold stories that tease us with unknown perils. Forget about oil spills, tsunamis, collapsing economies...KID STUFF, I tell you. Are you ready now, in the 21st century, for the Giant Rat of Sumatra?

It's lurking out there...try to sleep on that! 

To all or this, but in particular, to the world's foremost consulting deceive...

Sherlock Holmes, we salute you!

 

Reichenbach  Day

 

This litany composed by Rev. Robert Dinegar in 1972, of The Brothers Three of Moriarty, ( a Sherlock Holmes Society in New Mexico)

 is used annually at the NMSOBC's reenactment of Sherlock Holmes and Professor Moriarty's showdown at " The Falls"!

 

The litany is read by the president ( Grand Gander )  and assembled members and guests.

 

GG:  From him who was one of the three whose name was Jim:

 

Gaggle: SHERLOCK HOLMES, DELIVER US.

 

GG: From him who was ascetic, tall, gray and thin:

 

Gaggle: SHERLOCK HOLMES, DELIVER US.

 

GG: from him who was learned, scholarly, yet steeped in sin:

 

Gaggle: SHERLOCK HOLMES, DELIVER US.

 

GG: By your strength to wrestle and climb wet, rocky walls:

 

Gaggle: SHERLOCK HOLMES, DELIVER US.

 

GG: By your tenacity to hang from a ledge under Reichenbach Falls:

 

Gaggle: SHERLOCK HOLMES, DELIVER US.

 

GG: By your disguise as a poor bibliophile, but first priest of all:

 

Gaggle: SHERLOCK HOLMES, DELIVER US.

 

GG: We plead tonight ( today ) as did those in days of yore

        For today is much as time was in 1894:

 

Gaggle: SHERLOCK HOLMES, We BESEECH YOU, HEAR US.

 

GG: From ghoulies and ghosties and air guns in the night

        From Moriarty, Moran and those who are alike:

 

Gaggle: SHERLOCK HOLMES, DELIVER US.

 

 

 

Eulogy To The Great Detective, Mr. Sherlock Holmes

 

Dearly beloved Ladies and Gentleman, devotees of the world's First Great Detective, we re gathered here to memorialize his in fortunate demise at Reichenbach Falls in 1891.

 

We remember him of course,

For his pipe and his violin,

 For his long-suffering friend and supporter Mrs. Hudson,

 

 For his reliable Good Old Index,

 London.For his friendship and devotion to his loyal and trusted associate, Dr. John Watson,

For his promptness in unstintintingly helping unfortunate victims of crime and accident,

For his recognition of the absence of the dog barking in the night,

For his renown studies of tobacco ashes,

For his famous monograph on the formation of the human ear,

and his remarkable delineation of Mr. Baker from the appearance of he poor man's hat,

But most of all, we revere him for his ridding the world of that Napoleon of Crime, the infamous Professor Moriarty ,... Who will or longer darken the world of Victorian and Edwardian London,

It is truly, then, our sacred duty to call to mind this most reverend, this Best and Wisest of Men, to whom we offer our praise and sincere adulation.

Ladies and Gentleman, let us remember our Mr. Sherlock Holmes!

 

By John Schilke of the NMSOBC

 

 

 


 

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
Last update 03/09/2016

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