Bill Nye Facts 


Because Bill Nye is too awesome to not have a page espousing his greatness.

Please note that these are NOT simply rehashed Chuck Norris/Vin Diesel/George Washington/Bill Brasky/whoever jokes.  They're not even jokes at all, they're facts.  Get it right!

Abilities

Bill Nye can split atoms with his bare hands.

Bill Nye's sperm count is measured in moles/milliliter.

Bill Nye knows the momentum of an electron... AND where it is.

Bill Nye decides if Schroedinger's cat is alive or dead.

Bill Nye carries the fountain of youth around in a klein bottle in his back pocket.

Bill Nye knows more than Laplace's Demon.

Bill Nye does his taxes in his head, and he's a millionaire... draw your own conclusion.

Bill Nye is the only person who is allowed in the lab area without goggles.

Bill Nye can decrease his own entropy without doing work. 

Bill Nye is more efficient than a reversible process.

When Bill Nye sneezes, his mucus of science is comprised of a thick layer of primordial soup -- the basis of life.  By Jonathan Enojo

Bill Nye is so smart that he ties his own bow tie...With his mind!  By Jared Skala

Also, he invented lightsabers.  By Jared Skala

Bill Nye can rhyme seven words with orange.  By Jeff Baustian 

All uniform rectilinear motion is relative. To Bill Nye.  By Daniel Dandurand 

Bill Nye's absorption spectrum falls on every wavelength.  By Jack Conway 

Bill Nye's probability wave exists evenly throughout the universe. He collapses the wave where and when HE choses to.  By Chris Fitz

Bill Nye not only knows all of the possible elements on the periodic table, but he can create any one at will. He's got a brick of 114 in his pocket right now.  By Chris Fitz  

Bill Nye can make a quadruple carbon-carbon bond.  By Kendra Driscoll

Scientific Achievements 

Bill Nye told Pluto that it was no longer a planet... and it listened.

Bill Nye destroyed the Berlin Wall with common household chemicals. 

Gravity: Bill Nye's idea.

Bill Nye challenged a photon to a race in a vacuum and won. 

Bill Nye was the first person to orbit the earth... in only a lab coat and safety goggles.

While filming a Science Guy episode on particle physics, Bill Nye met his antimatter self. It was a battle of wits, since Bill and Anti-Bill couldn't touch each other without annihilating themselves and most of the West Coast. Bill finally won by proving that the Universe itself is a figment of his imagination, and therefore he can do whatever he wants to it. Anti-Bill promptly vanished in a puff of logic. 

Bill Nye invented inventing.  By Brian Patrick Allman 

Social Life

Bill Nye tutors Stephen Hawking. 

Santa Claus will soon begin contracting all gift giving to Bill Nye. Good children will receive gyroscopes, and bad children will have the thermite reaction initiated on their face.

Superman once told Bill Nye that he was completely indestructible, this led to Bill creating what he likes to call kryptonite.  By Jeff Baustian 

Bill Nye blinded Thomas Dolby with science.  Inspired by Michael Jones

Bill Nye was Galileo's personal tutor. The culminating assignment was to give a presentation on gravitational attraction to the Spanish Inquisition. Bill flunked him. Galileo was so beat up over it that when the Inquisition offered him poison, he took it.  By Carling Noelle 

Recently, Bill Nye had a dinner for all the Nobel Prize winners in the science fields for the past three years. While being given a tour of the house, they came upon Bill's teddy bear sitting squarely and proudly in the middle of the bed. They all started sniggering. One of them, trying to control himself, went up to Bill and said, "That's one flashy teddy bear you've got there" before bursting into laughter. Bill Nye nodded really solemnly and said, "That's right, it's a teddy bear. It's the Teddy Bear of Science." Then everybody got really quiet and ashamed because they'd insulted the Teddy Bear of Science.  By Carling Noelle

Stephen Hawking once thought he could outsmart Bill Nye. We all know what happened when he tried.  By Noah T

Relationship with Chuck Norris 

When Chuck Norris has a problem, he asks Bill Nye.  By Scott Fridlund

Chuck Norris's tears may cure cancer, but Bill Nye's tears impregnate women.  By James Whitton

Bill Nye can react noble gases with anything he wants, just yesterday he reacted neon with Chuck Norris.  By Nolan Dokis

Mathematics

Bill Nye counted to infinity 3 times, and still had not reached his IQ.  By Michael Bertasso Jr

Avogadro's Number is actually a misnomer since Bill Nye discovered it when asked to provide a PIN for his checking account.  By Galen Azbell 

Some people can recite the first few thousand digits of pi. Bill Nye can recite the last thousand digits of pi.  Jason Biatek

Machines Of Science

While the general public knows him as Chuck Norris, Bill Nye knows him as the Roundhouse Kicking Machine of Science.
 

Bill Nye derived the Theory of Everything at age 5, deemed the world unworthy of its mighty and far-reaching applications, and destroyed all his work using the Theory of Everything Paper Shredder of Science.  By Erik Nelson

Other Facts

Bill Nye makes his ice cream using milk, cream, sugar, and cold fusion.  By Justin Meyers 

The reason light is so fast is because it's running away from Bill Nye.  By Josh Bishay

The anime Full Metal Alchemist was actually a true story involving Bill Nye.  By Overlord Sandell Stangl 

Bill Nye drinks water with ice cubes that read at below 0 Kelvin.  By Matt LaMontagne 

It's Bill Nyes all the way down.  By David Saharkhiz

Bill Nye designed system more stable then Unix, more elegant than OSX, and more user friendly than Windows. He makes a small fortune each year from those companies for not releasing it.  By Kevin Kuchta 

Bill Nye doesn't come to equilibrium. Equilibrium comes to Bill Nye. By Spencer Bowley 

There is no chaos theory. Only Bill Nye's desire for change. By Sir Joseph Levine Esquire

Bill Nye is more efficient than a Carnot engine. By Victoria Konicek

Bill Nye declined being cast as Q, due to the simple fact that the character wasn't original enough.  By Ian, Jason, and Brenden