The Wind

Sometimes, I lay still at night and feel the wind blow across my face through the window. I especially love it when the wind’s cool and crisp. It smells so fresh. All I can do is just lie back and let it soak into my heart and soul. It pierces me to the bone and brings back memories of a place I’ve never seen with my eyes, but is more real than anything else I know.

Some people might call it heaven. I just think of it as home. How can I possibly describe the images that I have and feel? It feels like you’re standing still and the whole world is rushing by at mach one. Your adrenaline is pumping so hard you have to scream out for joy and laugh hysterically like an insane person. It’s a feeling of such intensity, that it seems like you have an orchestra in your head, building up to a grand crescendo, then crashing down like a tsunami, washing away every impurity in your soul and leaving you awestruck as if seeing for the first time.

The prophets of the Bible had it so wrong. They were so afraid of god, so afraid of looking upon god. They should have been dancing with joy and telling everyone to do it. One gaze into the face of god changes your whole outlook on life; opens doors to places in this universe unimaginable before. It is such a beautiful, wonderful thing, free for the taking, but we’ve been polluted by so many rules and fears into dreading it or diluting it. No teachers, no classes, no rituals, no incense, no pyramids needed; just desire to see.

But does anyone really care? Will anyone care? Why do I feel like my vision is pointless and useless? Maybe it’s too simple, and who wants something for free?

Right now, I just want the wind to carry me out to the desert. No people or societies, nothing to clutter and confuse my heart. Just silence and peace. Moonlight and starlight, cool sand and soft breezes. Peace, sweet glorious peace. Stillness and beauty. Above all, peace.

December 9, 1999