Text‎ > ‎Ch 1‎ > ‎Ch 2‎ > ‎Ch 3‎ > ‎Ch 4‎ > ‎Ch 5‎ > ‎Ch 6‎ > ‎Ch 7‎ > ‎Ch 8‎ > ‎Ch 9‎ > ‎

Ch 10

Why "Men" are Not Men
Beelzebub sighed deeply and continued to speak as follows:
“After the actualizing on this planet of the ‘Ilnosoparnian’ process,
one year, by objective time-calculation, passed.
“During this period there had gradually been coordinated on
this planet also the corresponding processes for the involution
and evolution of everything arising there.
“And of course there began gradually to be crystallized in the
three-brained beings there the corresponding data for the acquisition
of objective Reason.
“In short, on this planet also everything had then already begun
to proceed in the usual normal order.
“And therefore, my boy, if the Most High Commission under the
supreme direction of the same Archangel Sakaki had not, at the
end of a year, gone there again, perhaps all the subsequent misunderstandings
connected with the three-brained beings arising on that ill-fated planet might
not have occurred.

“This second descent of the Most High Commission to that
planet was due to the fact that in spite of the measures they had
taken, of which I have told you, there had not yet crystallized in
the Reasons of the majority of its sacred members a complete
assurance of the impossibility of any undesirable surprise in the
future, and they now wished to verify on the spot the results of
those measures.
“It was just during this second descent that the Most High Commission
decided in any event, if only for the sake of their own
reassurance, to actualize certain further special measures, among
which was also that measure, the consequences of which have
not only gradually turned
into a stupendous terror for the three-brained

beings themselves who arise on this ill-fated planet, but have even become,
so to say, a malignant sore for the whole of the great Universe.
“You must know that by the time of this second descent of the
Most High Commission, there had already gradually been engendered
in them—as is proper to three-brained beings—what
is called ‘mechanical instinct.’
“The sacred members of this Most High Commission then reasoned
that if the said mechanical instinct in these biped three-brained
beings of that planet should develop towards the attainment
of Objective Reason—as usually occurs everywhere
among three-brained beings—then it might quite possibly happen
that they would prematurely comprehend the real cause of
their arising and existence and make a great deal of trouble; it
might happen that having understood the reason for their arising,
namely, that by their existence they should maintain the detached
fragments of their planet, and being convinced of this their
slavery to circumstances utterly foreign to them, they would be
unwilling to continue their existence and would on principle destroy
“So, my boy, in view of this the Most High Commission then
decided among other things provisionally to implant into the
common presences of the three-brained beings there a special
organ with a property such that, first, they should perceive reality
topsy-turvy and, secondly, that every repeated impression
from outside should crystallize in them data which would engender
factors for evoking in them sensations of ‘pleasure’ and
“And then, in fact, with the help of the Chief-Common-Universal-
Arch-Chemist-Physicist Angel Looisos, who was also among
the members of this Most High Commission, they caused to grow
in the three-brained beings there, in a special way, at the base of
their spinal column, at the
root of their tail—which they also, at that time,

still had, and which part of their common presences furthermore still had its
normal exterior expressing the, so to say, ‘fullness-of-its-inner-significance’—
a ‘something’ which assisted the arising of the said

properties in them.
“And this ‘something’ they then first called the ‘organ
“Having made this organ grow in the presences of the three brained
beings and having seen that it would work,the Most
High Commission consisting of Sacred Individuals headed by the
Archangel Sakaki, reassured and with good consciences, returned
to the Center, while there, on the planet Earth which has taken
your fancy, the action of this astonishing and exceedingly ingenious
invention began from the first day to develop, and developed,
as the wise Mullah Nassr Eddin would say—’like a Jericho trumpet-
“Now, in order that you may have at least an approximate understanding
of the results of the properties of the organ devised
and actualized by the incomparable Angel Looisos—blessed be
his name to all eternity—it is indispensable that you should know
about the various manifestations of the three-brained beings of
that planet, not only during the period when this organ
Kundabuffer existed in their presences, but also during the later
periods when, although this astonishing organ and its properties
had been destroyed in them, nevertheless, owing to many
causes, the consequences of its properties had begun to be crystallized
in their presences.
“But this I will explain to you later.
“Meanwhile you must note that there was still a third descent
of that Most High Commission to that planet, three years later
according to objective time-calculations, but this time it was under
the direction of the Most-Great-Arch-Seraph Sevohtartra, the
Most Great Archangel Sakaki 
having, in the meantime, become worthy
to become the divine Individual he
now is, namely, one of the four
Quarter-Maintainers of the whole Universe.
“And during just this third descent there, when it was made
clear by the thorough investigations of the sacred members of
this third Most High Commission that for the maintenance of the
existence of those said detached fragments there was no longer
any need to continue to actualize the deliberately taken anticipatory
measures, then among the other measures there was also
destroyed, with the help of the same Arch-Chemist-Physicist
Angel Looisos, in the presences of the three-brained beings there,
the said organ Kundabuffer with all its astonishing properties.
“But let us return to the tale I began.
“Now listen. When our confusion, caused by the recent catastrophe
that had menaced that whole solar system, had passed
off, we slowly, after this unexpected interruption, resumed the
settlement of our new place on the planet Mars.
“Little by little we all of us made ourselves familiar with the local
Nature and adapted ourselves to the existing conditions.
“As I have already said, many of us definitely settled down on
the planet Mars; and others, by the ship Occasion which had been
put at the disposal of the beings of our tribe for interplanetary
communication, either went or prepared to go to exist on other
planets of the same solar system.
“But I with my kinsmen and some of my near attendants remained
to exist on that planet Mars.
“Yes, I must note that by the time to which my tale refers, my
first Teskooano had already been set up in the observatory which
I had constructed on the planet Mars and I was just then devoting
myself entirely to
the further organization and development of this observatory

of mine, for the more detailed observation of the remote concentrations
of our great Universe and of the planets of this solar system.
“Among the objects of my observations, then, was also this planet Earth.
“Time passed.
“The process of existence on this planet also began gradually
to be established and it seemed, from all appearances, that the
process of existence was proceeding there just as on all other
“But by close observation, first, it could be clearly seen that the
numbers of these three-brained beings were gradually increasing
and, secondly, it was possible sometimes to observe very
strange manifestations of theirs; that is, from time to time they
did something which was never done by three-brained beings
on other planets, namely, they would suddenly, without rhyme
or reason, begin destroying one another’s existence.
“Sometimes this destruction of one another’s existence proceeded
there not in one region alone but in several, and would
last not just one ‘Dionosk’ but many ‘Dionosks’ and sometimes
even for whole ‘Ornakras.’ (Dionosk signifies ‘day’; Ornakra signifies
It was sometimes very noticeable also that from this horrible
process of theirs their numbers rapidly diminished; but on the
other hand, during other periods, when there was a lull in these
processes, their numbers also very noticeably increased.
“To this peculiarity of theirs we gradually got used, having explained
it to ourselves that obviously, for certain higher considerations,
these properties also must deliberately have been given
to the organ Kundabuffer by the Most High Commission; in other
words, seeing the fecundity of these biped beings, we assumed
that this had been
done with aforethought, in view of the necessity

that they should exist in such large numbers for the needs of the
maintenance of
the common-cosmic Harmonious Movement.
“Had it not been for this strange peculiarity of theirs, it would
never have entered anybody’s head that there was anything
‘queer’ on that planet.
“During the period to which the aforesaid refers, I visited most
of the planets of that solar system, the populated and the as yet
“Personally I liked best of all the three-centered beings breeding
on the planet bearing the name Saturn, whose exterior is quite
unlike ours, but resembles that of the being-bird raven.
“It is interesting, by the way, to remark that for some reason or
other, the form of being-bird raven breeds not only on almost all
the planets of this solar system, but also on most of those other
planets of the whole of our great Universe upon which beings of
various brain systems arise and are coated with planetary bodies
of different forms.
“The verbal intercourse of these beings, ravens, of that planet
Saturn is something like ours.
“But in regard to their utterance, it is in my opinion the most
beautiful of any I have ever heard.
“It can be compared to the singing of our best singers when
with all their Being they sing in a minor key.
“And as for their relations with others, they—I don’t even know
how to describe them—can be known only by existing among
them and by experiencing them oneself.
“All that can be said is that these bird-beings have hearts exactly
like those of the angels nearest our ENDLESS MAKER AND CREATOR.
“They exist strictly according to the ninth commandment
of our CREATOR, namely: ‘Do unto another’s as you would do
unto your own.’
“Later, I must certainly tell you much more in detail about those
three-brained beings also who arise and exist on the planet Saturn,
since one of my real friends during the whole period of my
exile in that solar system was a being of just that planet, who
had the exterior coating of a raven and whose name was ‘Harharkh.’”
Subpages (1): Ch 11