Beating Childhood Cancer

A mother’s story of fear, frustration, faith and fighting power using nutritional therapy

Author: Leanne Woodland

Published by Abundant Living, Inc.

Contact author: leannewoodland@gmail.com

Copyright 1996 Abundant Living, Inc. Revised June 2008. All rights reserved.

You may give away copies of this e-publication, but you may not sell or change it in anyway.

Library of Congress Catalog Card Number 96-92678, ISBN 0-9654714-0-3, Hard copies printed by Ideal Printers, Inc. St Paul, MN

The information in the book is not a substitute for medical advice. There is no guarantee that following the protocol outlined in this book will have the same results with everyone. The publisher and author are not responsible for any effects or consequences resulting from the use of nutritional therapy as outlined in this book. Our purpose is to present nutritional therapy as an option, working in conjunction with conventional treatments or alone. Anyone considering nutritional therapy as an option in fighting cancer should do so under the supervision of a network of trained health professionals. The material in this book is for informational purposes only. I

do not prescribe and I do not diagnose. If you use the information in this book without the approval of a health professional, you prescribe for yourself, which remains your constitutional right, but the author assumes no responsibility.

“As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. As the rain and snow come down from heaven, and do not return to it without watering the earth and making it bud and flourish, so that it yields seed for the sower and bread for the eater, so is my word that goes out of my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purposes for which I sent it.” - Isaiah 55: 9-11 (NIV)



BOOK I: Drew’s Cancer Miracle

Chapter 1. Foreboding Symptoms

Chapter 2. “We’ve found a large mass…”

Chapter 3. Diagnosis: Stage IV Neuroblastoma

Chapter 4. No Options: Starting Conventional Therapy

Chapter 5. When It Rains, It Pours

Chapter 6. A Rigorous Routine Controlling Our Lives

Chapter 7. Angry at God: Bitterness turns Cancerous

Chapter 8. A Lesson from God

Chapter 9. Yellow Flowers and a White Casket

Chapter 10. Our Last Chance: An Attempt to Remove the Tumor

Chapter 11. God Makes a Way

Chapter 12. The Program

Chapter 13. Discovering the Cause

BOOK II: Key Points of Nutritional Therapy for Cancer

Chapter 1. Be Responsible: Our Environment Increases Cancer Risk

Chapter 2. A Weak Immune System: The Real Cause of Cancer

Chapter 3. Chemicals, Radiation and Scalpels, oh my!

Chapter 4. Detoxification: Cleansing the Body from the Inside Out

Chapter 5. Graze on this: Your Body’s not a Cemetery for Dead Animals

Chapter 6. Essential Supplements for Andrew’s Protocol

Chapter 7. Mission Impossible: Maintaining a Positive Attitude

Chapter 8. Creating a Network of Health Professionals

Chapter 9. Life Support: How You Can Help a Family Fighting Cancer

Chapter 10. Spiritual Supplementation: Pure Nutrition for Your Soul & Spirit

Resource List



This book is dedicated to The Great Spirit with you and exemplified by Jesus Christ, and to my six amazing children, all of whom continued to love me when this journey deemed me unlovable. Jeff, Jake, Aubree, Drew, Luke & Lauren: I will always, always be your advocate of hope!


Humbly and happily I express my gratitude to the authors, doctors and nutritionists I’ve learned from. The Frahms, the Balches, Danny Vierra, Paul Barry, Dr Wurdemann and his wife, Lisa. Thank you for paving the way so simple-minded folks like me can “dig in” to the truths you so eloquently share. Thank you to the supporters and encouragers at Valley Natural Foods, always willing to answer one last question. Thank you to my family and friends who stood by us during the darkest of days and continue to allow us to filter out the pain of our experiences by talking and sometimes

crying it out. Thank you to our “Angel” Debbie, because Drew sees the sun when it rains. He feels like an ice cube when it’s ninety-five and humid. He colors rainbows and flowers in the wintertime. You’ve influenced our young son by your positive attitude. We see your creative, contagious spirit daily in his life.

“How much to be prized and esteemed is a friend, on whom we may always with safety, depend; our joys when extended will always increase, and griefs when divided are hushed into peace.”

-Needles and Friends, from Friendship’s Offering by Susan McKelvey

Thank you to all the friends in our life that did extraordinary things for us and were supportive repeatedly during this journey, and who continued to accept me when my behavior was unacceptable: Kelly Abrahamian, Sue Bird, Joy Havlik, Jeanne Inkala, Margaret Johnson, Michelle Minea, Marcy Munson, Debbie Murphy, Gail Shultz, Elizabeth Shults, Theresa Tykeson, and Lisa Wurdemann.

Every agent and publisher who rejected the manuscript: Thank you. You made me dig deeper, refine my thoughts, sharpen my pencil and pursue the message that has now been published.

Finally, I am grateful to you, the reader. As you hold this book and read its contents, may your heart and mind be opened to the truths concerning healing our bodies and reuniting our spirit once again with our body and soul. I pray these simple words will make a difference in yet another life.


We lived in Burnsville, Minnesota with our six children. Four of the six children, including Drew, have birth defects doctors believe to be associated with my use of the drug Accutane under the advice of a physician shortly after our first child was born. Our first child Jeff was born a healthy baby in July of 1985. In 1988, our second child Jake was born. Jake has serious birth defects. He was diagnosed with Total Anomalous Pulmonary Venus Return to the Coronary Sinus and was also born with a “micro stomach”. His stomach was too small to hold the nourishment Jake needed in order to develop. Jake required three open heart surgeries, a total of nine surgeries on his chest and abdomen, which left his body extremely vulnerable to disease. A gastrostomy was performed so Jake could be fed continuously through a tube going directly into his small stomach. The tube, called a G-tube, is referred to frequently in this story. Jake endured numerous bouts of pneumonia. He needed essential supplemental oxygen until he was four and half years old. He was attached to a feeding pump for the first five years of his life. Our third child is a girl, Aubree. Aubree was diagnosed at the age of fifteen months with Mitral Value Stenosis, which can be corrected by a fairly common procedure called angioplasty. Andrew (Drew) is our fourth child. He was born in June 1991. He had health problems related

to his diet almost immediately, such as reflux. At the age of eighteen months, Drew was diagnosed with Stage IV Neuoblastoma. This is one of the most deadly forms of childhood cancer. There was little hope for Drew’s recovery, nor for restoration of his quality of life, which every child should enjoy. Through months of gruelling treatments, tests and hospital stays, our family endured much physical, financial, emotional pain and exhaustion. Left nearly hopeless after eleven months of ridged chemotherapy and radiation treatments, we believe God led us to wholly pursue nutritional therapy for the treatment of Drew’s grave illness. In this endeavour, we were advised and supported by a network of doctors and specialists while spending many hours personally researching the benefits and the methods of nutritional healing. Our story here is written for several reasons: to proclaim the body's ability to heal itself, to offer hope to parents seeking complementary and alternative medicine to heal their child of a degenerative disease, to proclaim the good works of God in our lives, and to educate the reader that nutritional therapy is a viable alternative to health, even for such devastating diseases as childhood cancer.

There is a purpose for the pain Drew & Jake endured. People always wonder how a

loving God can allow children to suffer. Often I asked, “Lord, Why did my sons, Jake and

Andrew, have to suffer so much?” I would not accept that it was simply to refine my character

and make me a better person. That concept offended me and made me feel worse because I

thought, “I must be an awful person if my children had to suffer so terribly so I would change.”

But that simply was not truth. There is a higher purpose for our pain than just making us better

human beings. Today, when I am speaking publicly about the experiences and the suffering our

children endured, hearts in the audience begin to open to the suffering shared and tears begin to

fall. That is what the suffering of an innocent child does. It opens hearts, which in turn opens

minds to consider new ways of thinking. Thinking that leads to not only a better way to treat

cancer, but a better way to approach life in humble dependence upon the Creator who made us

all. He is the One who made our bodies, and He is also the one who provided the resources on

this earth to heal. Ultimately, He deserves all the glory for Andrew’s victory.

I now know why God allowed our children to suffer. Hearts need to be broken open, and

it is painful. As people hear of Andrew’s suffering through chemo and radiation treatments,

they become open and eager to hear how this little boy’s life was saved. They also become

willing to consider or accept nutritional therapy as a serious, viable option for health when

dealing with disease and to consider God’s option for eternal life open to all of us who believe in

Him. When I see tears in the eyes of the crowd gathered, I tell them, “I see now why the Lord

allowed my children to suffer, it’s there in your eyes… showing me that your hearts and minds

are open to a new way of thinking.”

Throughout Andrew’s recovery, I felt called to be an advocate and educator on

nutritional therapy and to share the lessons our family learned in fighting his cancer. I shared

key points on diet, how to maintain a healthy emotional life and a positive attitude through an

intimate relationship with the Lord. My hope for the reader is that these pages will be

enlightening and encourage a further investigation of nutritional therapy for the health of your

body. I also hope you feel called to seek God’s wisdom and guidance for the well-being of your

soul and spirit. My prayer for you is that you would allow God to lead you as He has led our

family in Andrew’s fight with cancer. Whatever physical or spiritual struggles you may have,

ask that God give you an unquenchable thirst for health and spiritual wellness as you read our




Andrew’s Cancer Miracle

Chapter 1

Foreboding Symptoms

There were no particular concerns during my pregnancy with Andrew other than a fall that

occurred when I was seven months along. I was leaving the house to take a babysitter home one

winter night. It was dark and the back steps were covered with ice. I slipped and fell down four

concrete steps onto the icy walkway, landing right on my tailbone. I stayed there for 15-20

minutes, afraid to move. It hurt. I was quite the sight lying flat on my back and so very

pregnant. My kids were screaming at the sight of mommy looking injured, so I tried to calm

them from my vulnerable position. My husband stayed by my side and talked with me until I

could move.

The fall on that winter ice during my pregnancy did not seem that significant, and Andrew was

born in June 1991 without any concerns.

I nursed Andrew for only four short months because he had problems with reflux. I was

concerned that my breast milk was too inconsistent, so we tried baby formulas to see if we could

decrease the amount of food refluxing back up after each feeding. We switched his formulas a

half-dozen times to soy or other brands. He continued to spit-up, so we tried medication. Our

doctor put Andrew on Reglan, which is a drug to decrease the symptoms (not the cause) for

gastro-esophageal reflux. Our second oldest son, Jake, had been on Reglan for his microstomach;

so we were familiar with the medication and requested it be prescribed for Andrew,

thinking it was a genetic issue with our boys. At that time, our doctors ordered some tests to

determine if there was an abdominal obstruction. They did not find anything. At the age of six

months, Andrew was on medication to control his excessive reflux.

In April 1992 the house we were renting sold, and we could not find suitable housing close to

work. Fortunately, we were able to move in with friends until we could transition into our own

home. Shortly after moving, Andrew developed a bad cold; and I remember thinking my happy

11-month old is just under stress with the move to a strange house with strange people. It was

early in my pregnancy with our fifth child and I was sick all the time, unable to do much. My

husband was attending school fulltime and working fulltime. I told myself the stress of

everything had made him sick. Now I know a cold is the first sign your immune system is

suppressed. Andrew had what I thought was a very simple virus, but he never got over the cold.

Another significant change developed within him. His disposition began to change.

Andrew was always a very happy and loving baby, but suddenly he became fussy and irritable

most of the time. He also became a very poor eater so if I could get him to eat anything, I would.

Unfortunately his diet consisted of typical dairy products i.e. milk, cheese, yogurt, ice cream,

etc. (If I would have known what I know about dairy products today, I would have never done


it.) To make matters worse, we were struggling financially; so instead of buying expensive

formula, I started Andrew on whole milk in his bottle. I would learn later that it was worst

possible thing I could do for him, but that is a whole other chapter…

Despite our best efforts to medicate him and feed him smooth foods, he continued to spit-up.

When he would eat a meal, we were so glad and felt relieved because he was being nourished.

Then all of a sudden, his entire meal would hurl out all over him and his highchair tray. It was

so frustrating.

I took Andrew to the doctor in June when he was a year old. The appointment was made for

Aubree to check the status of her pulmonary value stenosis because our pediatrician needed to

determine, after the age of two, if she required an angioplasty. During the appointment for

Aubree, I told our pediatrician I was really concerned about Andrew. Our pediatrician was

preoccupied with listening to Aubree’s heart, while at the same time; I was listing all of

Andrew’s symptoms.

Looking back, we both regret the moment. I should have made an official appointment

regarding our concerns with Andrew, and our pediatrician wishes she would have heard the

specifics of what I was saying. I don’t blame her for being so in tune to Aubree’s condition

because it was serious too. Besides, it’s useless to look back and wonder “what if”. We believe

for some divine reason, it was God’s plan and purpose for that day. We returned home from

that appointment, and Andrew continued to struggle all summer. He almost always threw up

his food and was irritable, fussy and whiney.

In August we moved from our friend’s home into an apartment with our four children, Jeff,

Jake, Aubree and Andrew. I was in the middle of my fifth pregnancy; and although we were

thrilled with having our own home, we were still bothered with Andrew’s relentless reflux.

In October I took Andrew to our pediatrician again and recited a list of all the same frustrating

symptoms. I said, “Something is terribly wrong; something serious is going on.” However, this

time she did not seem alarmed and did not feel there was a need to investigate further by

ordering tests. This time I walked away feeling like she did not take the time to listen to me.

Unfortunately, I would learn later, that she was battling breast cancer at the time, which kept

her from fully concentrating on Andrew’s symptoms.

During the next couple of months Andrew got worse. While I was talking to a friend about his

symptoms, I realized how serious his health issue was becoming. I laid out all my concerns on

the table with someone who could look at it objectively; and she said, “You’ve got to find

someone to do something now.” With a sense of urgency, I made another doctor appointment

for Andrew. This time I was armed with an actual list of symptoms on paper because I wanted

our pediatrician to go through the list I’d written and provide an explanation for everything on

it. The appointment was scheduled for the following Monday, but was cancelled suddenly

because our pediatrician had to be somewhere. On Wednesday of that same week as I was

changing Andrew’s diaper, I noticed a large lump protruding from his groin area. I thought,

“There! That’s it! That’s the problem! It’s a hiatal hernia!” I was so relieved because I knew it

could be easily treated. When I called the pediatrician’s office they said he was in no danger but

to bring him in that day. Then I was informed that our doctor was not in, but would return the


following Monday. Knowing that she knew Andrew’s medical history and thinking he was in no

danger, we opted to wait until she returned on Monday.

That Saturday as I was driving to a women’s retreat with a friend I told her, “Tell me if I am

being paranoid, but I sense something awful is going to happen. I’ve got my guard up and I’m

expecting the worst. I think the doctor will confirm it is a hiatal hernia and that they’ll have to

operate which means Andrew’s going to be hospitalized right when I am due to deliver our fifth

child and move into the home we just bought. I just know it’s all going to happen at once. Do

you think I’m paranoid?” My friend answered, “No, I think you’re being realistic.”

Little did I know the news to come would be worse than feared.

Chapter 2

“We found a Large Mass…”

The following Monday we went to our appointment, but our pediatrician was called out on an

emergency. Dr. Ross Olson, who is a wonderful Christian doctor, examined Andrew. He asked

us a lot of questions. I showed him my list of questions and concerns and he studied it for quite

some time. Dr. Olson examined Andrew thoroughly. He’s not a man of many words, therefore

he didn’t say much during the examination. Then suddenly he walked abruptly out of the room.

My husband and I sat staring at each other in amazement. Fifteen minutes passed before Dr.

Olson walked back into the exam room, but this time he was followed by our pediatrician. She

walked right over to Andrew and examined him. As they both turned around to look at us, I

knew in that instant they were scared to tell us something. There was a stern hardness about

them, a façade of forced strength, but I could see past it to fear. I had seen the same look in the

doctor’s eyes who told us about Jake’s serious heart condition at birth. They said, “We’ve found

a large mass in his abdomen. It appears to be grapefruit size or larger, and we’d like to schedule

an ultrasound immediately. It could be one of three things: it could be a cancerous tumor, a

benign tumor, or a very rare disorder which is highly unlikely.”

How does one respond to such news? Certainly, panic began to well up inside of me, yet my

mind was instantly shifting into survival mode. I knew the drill …and all too well with Jake and

his illness. I wanted to know what we could do next, where we needed to go. I wanted this mass

out of my precious son’s body immediately. Panic, fear and the inability to breathe

overwhelmed me. We managed to agree that an ultrasound made sense. We didn’t panic

outwardly, but were extremely anxious to find out what this mass was as soon as possible.

Both doctors suggested x-rays and more blood work. I knew the appointment was going to take

much longer than expected, so I went to make a phone call to my friend Elizabeth who was

watching our other children. I said, “Elizabeth, they found a large mass in Andrew’s abdomen.”

And then for the first time, I lost it. I was crying and screaming at the same time. I sobbed,

“Will you watch the kids? Will you call our pastors? Will you get people praying for us, for

Andrew?” In that moment alone with this “we’ve found a large mass…” information, the news

was settling in and I panicked.


After regaining some composure, I went back into the exam room. Shaken, we went about the

motions of getting his x-rays and blood work done. The doctors were unable to schedule an

ultrasound that afternoon because it was already after 5pm; so they scheduled it for the next

available time, which was Wednesday, two days away. We agreed and were allowed to go home.

As we were leaving the doctor’s office, all the nurses were still there and tried to say something

supportive. I sensed they were crushed by the doctors’ discovery too. These nurses had watched

us fight for Jake’s life; and in many ways had been through his medical crisis with us. They

were awestruck over the devastating news about another one of our children.

My husband and I were in shock. I don’t remember talking to one another. We would look at

each other than shifted to look at Andrew. Suddenly everything Andrew did or said was so

much more precious and adorable. On the drive home, exhausted Andrew had fallen asleep. As

we were driving down the highway, simultaneously my husband and I started singing one of our

favorite songs. “God will make a way, when there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot

see. He will make a way for me.” It was strange for us to start singing at the same time,

especially the same exact song because we were not even looking at each other. We both started

crying, and then smiled as we told each other God was going to make a way.

As we exited the highway, Andrew woke up and asked for French fries, so we stopped at a fastfood

restaurant. We watched Andrew and adored his every move and word. Anyone watching

us that evening, playing and talking to Andrew, would have never known anything was wrong.

Yet inside Andrew, there was a deadly cancer determined to consume him, and inside of me a

fear and grief grew like cancer threatening to explode.

Jake was still fed by a G-tube and sometime between Monday’s doctor appointment and

Andrew’s ultrasound appointment on Wednesday, Jake’s G-tube fell out. It was a frustrating

nuisance, but we decided to save a trip to the hospital and scheduled putting Jake’s G-tube in at

the same time Andrew was scheduled for his ultrasound. The ultrasound was extensive. When it

was finished, the doctors told us, “Yes, this is in fact a very large mass and it appears to be

cancerous, but we can’t say for sure. We are talking to surgeons now to see when they can

schedule surgery to biopsy the mass. It needs to be done as soon as possible.”

We barely had time to digest and react to the news when Jake’s name was announced over a

speaker that the ER was ready to place his G-tube. My husband took Andrew to the playroom

and my mom came with Jake and me to the ER. As Jake was lying on the ER exam table, I

discussed with his doctor what type of G-tube we wanted. As his doctor began inserting the

tube, blood suddenly began squirting out of Jake’s abdomen. Jake started screaming and nurses

had to hold him down in restraints. Jake cried and begged me to make them stop. Over his

screams, I tried to comfort Jake and tell him we needed the tube to feed him and this was the

best way to insert it. I told Jake repeatedly that we loved him and would not allow anyone to

hurt him, but this was needed so he could eat. Jake’s gastrologist tried to manipulate his

abdomen to take the tube. It was difficult because the tube had been out for almost two days.

Then he looked up and studied me realizing I was extremely pregnant as I leaned over to

comfort Jake. I could tell he was wondering if I would be alright. At that exact moment, another

doctor walked into the exam room and addressed me, “My name is Glen Anderson. I am the

surgeon for your son Andrew, and I would like to schedule surgery with you at eight in the


morning this Friday. Could you admit him Thursday afternoon for pre-op? We will do a biopsy

Friday morning.” Wiping a tear from Jake’s face, I responded, “That’s fine.”

The surgeon walked out of the exam room and our gastrologist struggling to put the tube into

Jake, looked at my mom and said, “Oh my god!” Then he looked at me and back at my mom

and said, “Is she going to be okay?” My mom answered solemnly, “Yes, she’ll be okay.” And I

was okay on the outside. I had to be okay. I had to be strong. Jake needed me then and so

responding or reacting to anything else was not an option. On the inside though I wasn’t okay

and months later all the pent up emotions and stress exploded from within.

Jake’s tube eventually was placed and we headed for home. It was late on Wednesday night, but

we prepared to admit Andrew to the hospital later on Thursday afternoon. We called friends

and family to explain what was happening and asked everyone to pray for us.

I was in my last month of pregnancy and had just one pair of pants and two shirts, so when I got

up on Thursday morning I went to the mall to get some more clothes for the hospital stay. I

found myself suddenly feeling very alone. I drove no more than a half mile from our home when

I lost my composure. A song by Leslie Phillips was playing on the stereo called, “The Strength

of My Life.” When I heard it I totally fell apart. I was bawling and sobbing uncontrollably to

the point where I could not drive and had to pull over. I was scream-crying and I couldn’t make

myself stop. I felt paralyzed and afraid I would be stuck by the side of the road crying all day.

The song ended and I shut the stereo off. I resumed driving, wiping tears and taking deep

breaths along the route. I kept telling myself, “I have to get to the store, get some clothes and

diapers then get back home so we can go to the hospital.” When I got to the parking lot I started

sobbing and scream-crying again. I cried out, “God help us! I am so scared.” Physically my

body was letting the stress of the past week out, but emotionally I felt as if I was watching my

actions unfolded outside of my body. Looking back I know I was grieving the loss of what we

considered to be a normal life after spending over five years in the hospital with Jake. I was also

grieving for Andrew and the battle he faced.

The day Jake was born we were suddenly thrust into a nightmare. We didn’t have a happy,

healthy baby boy to take home from the hospital. Instead we were thrust into the fear, panic

and anxieties of multiple surgeries, medicines and life and death decisions. Just as we were

beginning to awaken from that nightmare and live a somewhat normal life, even with the 24-

hour nursing care and home treatments for Jake, we now found ourselves suddenly plunged

into another nightmarish world of cancer, the big-C, with our sweet baby Andrew. I was not

only scared for my son and what he was about to endure, but I was also mourning the loss of

what was supposed to be our road to normalcy. Jake had survived, even after doctors told us he

would not live past the age of one, and now we all expected life to bring happiness and health.

We thought we were moving on to better days.

Wiping tears from my face, I walked into the mall. I remember a lady staring at me as if she

was thinking, “Oh my gosh! She looks like she’s been through hell and back.” I quickly picked

out some clothes and headed for the diapers. The next thing I knew, a lady grabbed me by the

arm and took me to a store employee. Someone said, “Ma’am, you were standing in the aisle

turning circles. Are you lost? Are you looking for something? I must have looked like I was out

of my mind. I quietly told them I was looking for diapers. They lead me to the correct aisle and I

was on my way.


Before I left the store parking lot, I called my friend, Jeanne. I told her I was having trouble

emotionally and was afraid to drive my car again and keep my composure. I told her being

alone was not good for me and begged her to promise to be at my apartment when I returned

home. She was crying on the phone because she wanted to help and knew I was falling apart

and needed a friend. She promised to meet me at home, so I started to leave the parking lot but

my emotions got the best of me. I sat in my car crying and sobbing uncontrollably, but

eventually started toward home. I cried all the way back home, but as promised Jeanne was

there when I arrived and her presence calmed me down.

Being so close to our family, Jeanne was very upset about Andrew’s illness too. Strangely it

helped me to be able to comfort her too. The Bible says, “Those who refresh others are

themselves refreshed.” Our conversation kept my mind preoccupied while we did laundry and

prepared for the hospital stay.

Chapter 3

Diagnosis: Stage IV Neuroblastoma

On Thursday, after my husband came home from work we left for the hospital, leaving our

children with friends and Jake with his home health nurse. Family and friends stopped by to

visit once Andrew was admitted into his room. Andrew was so adorable. We prayed, took

pictures and then everyone had to leave. My husband and I were alone again with Andrew. New

nurses and medical staff stopped by to introduce themselves. We just kept looking at each other

in disbelief, questioning, “Can you believe this is happening all over again? Can you believe we

are here in this situation with yet another child? What if this mass really is cancerous?” We

comforted each other with the knowledge that this time we were developing a relationship with

the Lord Jesus Christ.

As we were getting ready to go to bed, something really stupid happened. My husband went to

the bathroom to wash his hands. He had just taken his glasses off, and as he pushed down on the

chemical soap dispenser, the soap squirted into his eyes. It was after 11pm and we were

exhausted, but now we had to file an injury report and my husband was taken to the adjoining

hospital’s ER because as we were told, “The soap can cause blindness.”

My thoughts turned to deep frustration and anger at the ridiculousness of Jake’s G-tube

replacement, Andrew’s large, possibly deadly mass and now, my husband’s threat of blindness

because of some stupid chemical soap dispenser. Later my husband returned from the ER redeyed,

but unscathed. Sleeping restfully however was not on the menu as we both tossed and

turned throughout the night. I was in my ninth month of pregnancy so sleeping on a hospital cot

did not help the situation.

Our pastors, members of both families and some friends arrived Friday morning prior to

Andrew’s surgery. We were such a large group that the hospital staff asked us to wait in the

outer, main lobby. Plus the surgery waiting area was under renovations.

It was so very painful to let Andrew go into surgery. Reflecting back on our experiences with

Jake and his three open heart surgeries, I thought, “Here we go again. He’s absolutely adorable,


cute, cuddly and smiling, but he will return to me screaming in pain and discomfort…and I was

letting it happen. I signed the papers and agreed to this pain inflicted upon my child.” Handing

a child over for surgery is the greatest fear I have ever known. It is heartbreaking to know that

the little precious love of your life that is cuddling in your warm arms will soon be cut open with

cold steel. I knew the drill all too well. When he returned he would be in pain with tubes coming

out of his body every which way, with a look in his eyes crying out, “Why, Mommy? Why?”

And worse, we knew once we surrendered him into the surgeon’s hands, we might not get him

back. It is an ugly experience I would never, ever wish on anyone.

Andrew was taken into surgery on Friday, December 10th, 1992. The waiting was more than

intense. Surgery took about four hours and would tell us if the large mass was cancerous or

benign. We all silently prayed for the latter. Our group tried to make small talk, but for the

most part everyone paced, glancing at one another now and then like people do when waiting

for bad news.

Finally our surgeon appeared and sat down between my husband and me. Everyone was tense. I

could see in this doctor’s eyes that same false façade of strength as he prepared himself

emotionally to devastate yet another family. I knew that ‘look’ all too well and was immediately

overwhelmed. He said they had biopsied Andrew’s mass five times. Then he said the words no

mother should ever have to hear, “We found the mass to be highly malignant making Andrew’s

condition life threatening.” He continued, “The tumor is very large so we were unable to remove

it because it has finger-like tentacles attached to Andrew’s kidneys, liver, pancreas and

mesenteric artery, plus we found cancer in his bone marrow.”

It was the worst possible outcome, we feared. All of us were stunned and could not hold back

our emotions. My mom was scream-crying, my brother and his wife were crying. My husband

and I sat in the hospital’s main lobby crying uncontrollably. We could not believe what was

happening. I remember trying to talk, wanting to ask the surgeon what we could do, but my

attempt to speak turned into incomprehensible screams. My body hurt and my eyes swelled as

the pressure of the past week had unknowingly built up a tidal wave of fears and grief, now

crashing down suffocating my heart and paralyzing any coherent thoughts.

While we waited for Andrew to come out of recovery, we were taken to the lab and allowed to

look at the tissue biopsied. It looked like pink flesh, but I remember thinking it was evil. How

could this small piece of pink flesh be eating away at my precious blond-haired, baby boy?

Finally, Andrew was taken to his room. It was very painful to see him knowing he had a raging,

deadly cancer trying to consume his body, and take his life. Prior to the surgery he was a sweet,

bubbly, playful little boy and now he was in incredible pain, and we finally knew the truth—he

was gravely ill. Strangely, when I was near Andrew I felt strong like an advocate fighting for

justice. I knew he needed me, but I was beginning to realize if I was going to keep my sanity

intact I needed him too. I had brought the tape of Leslie Phillips and began to play the uplifting

music. I played the song, “Strength of my Life” for my dad. He is a tough, stoic man, but he

graciously listened. When the song was over I told my dad our faith would get us through the

situation. I was glad in the midst of our terrible situation we could share our faith in Christ.

Nurses were coming in and out of Andrew’s room telling us what we could expect, introducing

us to new staff, dropping off chemo cards to read and research and explaining processes of


admittance on the oncology floor. During the commotion, Andrew started having a drugreaction

to his pain meds. We didn’t understand what was happening at first but would learn

quickly that Andrew was hallucinating. I asked the nurse, panicked, “Why is he flinging his

arms with such a fearful look on his face?” She explained, “Typically, we believe when children

hallucinate, they see bugs flying at them. My husband quickly stretched his whole body across

Andrew’s convulsing body because he was thrashing violently. He had drainage tubes and wires

attached everywhere. My husband and I both remembered a horrific flashback memory. When

Jake was recovering from his second open-heart surgery, a little girl in the adjoining room, who

had survived a very successful open heart surgery, was being prepared to leave the intensive

care unit for the cardiology recovery floor. Without warning, as a transport team was preparing

to move her to a transport bed, the little girl freed her hands from restraints and pulled both of

her chest drainage tubes out, ripping a massive hole in her heart. She died instantly. Now

Andrew was thrashing with his hands free and we had to protect him. His drug reaction lasted

four gruelling hours.

My husband wanted me to go home that night because I wasn’t sleeping well on the hospital

cots. I would cry in the night because I was so pregnant and so uncomfortable. It’s bad enough

being in your own bed at such an advanced stage of pregnancy let alone on a stiff cot in a room

with an invisible revolving door, but I couldn’t leave Andrew. Frustrated, my husband left to

get coffee. I was alone with Andrew who was having a hard time falling asleep because he was

‘wired’ from the meds. My sister had given me a tape with the single, “I Will Always Love You

by Whitney Houston. I put the tape in the player, picked up Andrew, tubes, wires and all, and

began slow dancing as the song played. I let the tears fall freely as we danced in the dark room

dimly lit with monitor lights. My whole body ached with a mixture of love and pain, happiness

that he could finally be in my arms and yet so much sorrow flooded my heart. I played the song

three times before I laid him down, sleeping. I couldn’t leave that night. We both stayed, but

barely slept. My son was now a drugged patient with a lethal mass growing inside his tiny body,

a mass that was inoperable.

The next few days that followed were full of cards received, phone calls made and answered and

droves of people stopping by. Friends, family, and members of our church all tried to find

words of comfort and faith. Meals were dropped off for us at the hospital and friends worked

tirelessly to organize life at home for our other three children. The wound of Andrew’s illness

was soothed with the love and support of people who pulled together in practical ways to help. I

knew that God was with us. Through His grace and mercy, I was drawn to depend on Him. His

love, peace and strength sustained me during those first few emotional days. However, as time

wore on I began to rely on my own strength. Anger and bitterness seeped in as we experienced

our family’s forced separation, with unmet needs of our children, my marriage and ourselves.

At eighteen months of age, our son Andrew was diagnosed with Stage IV Neuroblastoma. Stage

V is end-stage so basically you’re dying. Stage IV is like saying you don’t have a fighting chance

in hell, but we’ll try some drugs anyway to see if we get lucky or prolong life…even though

prolonging life does not mean there will be any quality to such life. Neuroblastoma is a very rare

childhood cancer affecting infants and children up to ten years of age. It usually stems from the

nervous system and is one of the deadliest cancers. If the cancer is found before a child turns the

age of one, their chances of survival increase by 75%! (I couldn’t help feel bitter about all the

times I took Andrew to the doctor with my list of concerns…BEFORE HE WAS ONE YEAR



Andrew’s grapefruit size tumor was found in his abdomen. The tumor was encasing his aorta,

his inferior vena cava and his mesenteric artery. The tumor also had finger-like tentacles

attached to his liver, kidneys and spine. Cancer cells were also detected in his bone marrow. The

day he was diagnosed, a new doctor, an oncologist, assured us that Andrew’s cancer was in no

way a reflection of something we had done.

She also said there was little hope for survival.

Chapter 4

No Options: Starting Conventional Therapy

Our oncologist scheduled a conference with us the following day, and my parents offered to

come with us. She started the meeting by telling us we had two options: option one was to do a

very intense protocol of traditional chemotherapy and radiation and option two was to do

nothing at all. Then she informed us that if we chose the treatment, option one, Andrew had less

than a 25% chance of survival. If we chose to do nothing, option two, Andrew had “maybe” six

months to live. She said if we decided to do the chemo and radiation, it would be very rigorous.

She explained it would be the most intense program they offered and would take eleven months.

She also explained that Andrew would need a bone marrow harvest in Los Angeles if we chose

option one.

Desperate for our son’s survival and believing in the science of the medical community (man’s

wisdom) we chose option one and decided his chemo and radiation treatments would begin

immediately. Option one gave us an ounce of hope; and in spite of our initial pain and

confusion, we clung to the hope that maybe, just maybe, Andrew could beat the odds.

A week after Andrew’s biopsy, he received his first chemo treatment. Doctors assured us the

first chemo treatment would make Andrew feel better and it did. We were sent home a few days

before the Christmas holiday so we could spend time together as a family. Our Christmas that

year was incredible. Our church family reached out to our family with more presents than our

kids knew what to do with. My husband and I got pots and pans, sheets and new towels. People

had heard somehow that both my husband and I did not own a watch to tell time so that

Christmas we received five watches each! Fresh in their memory was Jake’s battle for life and

the seriousness of his heart defect and micro-stomach. In a sense, our church family had lived

through Jake’s ordeal with us, standing in faith that God was greater than all outcomes

predicted by man’s wisdom. They also knew we had been preparing to move from our small

apartment into our own home and that I was nine months pregnant. Now, with Andrew’s

deadly diagnoses, they wanted to shower us with love and they did.

As the doctors stated, we came home with Andrew feeling better. Typically, when cancer

patients take their first dose of chemo it stuns the cancer, so the patient actually feels quite good

during those first few treatments. That is exactly what happened with Andrew, but we sensed a

new routine forming. Basically, Andrew was admitted into the hospital for one week of chemo

treatments, and then we would go home for one week, then return to be admitted for the

remainder of the month because he was so sick and his blood cell count was too low. We called


them “bottoming out” weeks when he was so sick and hospitalized. Sometimes, Andrew would

need a blood transfusion to counteract the low blood counts.

The effects of chemo began to take a toll. First, his hair started falling out in clumps. His

patched, scraggly hair was a constant reminder of his life and death struggle, so I couldn’t wait

for all of his hair to fall out. Someone had bought him a little denim hat, which he immediately

loved and wore the entire time he underwent his chemo and radiation treatments.

Andrew’s response to the chemo got worse. He began throwing up three to five times a day. One

week, Jake and Aubree both got the flu so we literally had three ice cream buckets handy and

were running from one child to the next. It was very gross and very exhausting. Andrew became

irritable and uncomfortable. He was calm only when held tightly in my arms, making any

semblance of parenting our other children extremely difficult.

I found it hard to focus on our ‘healthy’ kids, and felt I was losing control over the choices I

wanted to make as a mother. When Andrew was diagnosed, I was in the middle of

homeschooling our oldest son, Jeff. He was in second grade and it was a critical time to teach

him how to read. Jeff and I struggled with reading his first year in school so I had raised the bar

with high hopes and goals for a successful second grade, but now it all fell by the wayside with

Andrew’s diagnoses. It was very humbling, but I brought myself to ask a dear friend to finish

homeschooling Jeff the rest of the year so he could learn to read. She was fabulous and very

faithful to our needs. Jeff learned to read and I began to learn that letting go of control in life

would become my greatest weakness. Cancer is a controlling disease. The present condition and

treatments of the diseased person literally affect every aspect of your life. We had to think of all

our children and their needs, but even before them, we had to put Andrew and his cancer

treatments first.

Focusing on our marriage, our needs as individuals, our careers, hopes and dreams was not an


Chapter 5

When it Rains, it Pours

The end of December was nice because the first round of chemo stunned the cancer just enough

for Andrew’s bubbly, loving spirit to return. He was happy and smiling, and that would be

everyone’s best Christmas gift. It was definitely a reprieve from the earlier days of the month,

but I could hear the distant thunder of an approaching storm.

We started packing for the move into our new home. Friends helped us clean our apartment

and our church family helped us clean our new home before moving in, but deep inside I sensed

the winds changing course. A storm was brewing. Then it rained.

During a routine doctor appointment, my doctor said there was a concern with my pregnancy

and asked if she could schedule an ultrasound. It had to be scheduled the day before we moved.

Jake had developed double-pneumonia so we had our home health nurse caring for him at a

friend’s house so he was free from the commotion. I was on the phone talking to Jake’s doctor,


trying to get his meds and nebulizer treatments established. A good friend was a nurse and

promised to stop by and check on Jake, volunteering to give him his treatments so he was with a

familiar face. Yes, the rain had started, but at least there was an umbrella over Jake.

Later that night the approaching storm drew closer. My husband and I were home alone with

Andrew. The rest of the kids were being taken care of by friends in an effort to lighten our load.

As I lay in bed thinking of the scheduled ultrasound the following day and what news it may

bring, I heard Andrew’s breathing become labored. We called the hospital to alert them of his

condition. They thought he might have pneumonia and asked that we bring him in immediately.

A friend picked up my husband and Andrew and took them to the hospital. I was feeling ill

myself and stressed about the upcoming ultrasound so I stayed behind and tried to rest, but

lightening thoughts pierced my mind and worries thundered in my head.

It’s 4am and I called a friend sobbing, “My whole family is falling apart. Jake has doublepneumonia.

Andrew is on his way to the hospital and they’re going to admit him because he has

pneumonia. I’m going in for an ultrasound in the morning and can hardly breathe so I’m sure

I’ve got pneumonia too!” Once again I fell apart on the phone. My friend came over and stayed

with me until I had to leave for the doctor appointment.

“Leanne, you have double-pneumonia and your baby is breech.” The moment I heard those

words from my doctor, life seemed surreal as if I was suspended in the middle of a raging

whirlwind. I was only two weeks from my due date, Jake had double-pneumonia, Andrew was

gravely ill with pneumonia and low counts, and we were scheduled to close on and move into

our new house the following day. The thunderstorm had turned into a raging hurricane and I

was now being told by my doctor to find the calm and rest.

My husband worked for a large hotel chain. When they heard the news, they offered a free hotel

room so I could retreat and rest. They knew Andrew was hospitalized overnight and now I was

sick too so they wanted to do something for us. My husband stayed with Andrew all day and

then planned to meet me at the hotel room later in the evening. My plan was to pack up the

apartment all day, but when my doctor said she advised against it, friends and our church

family came to the rescue again.

My friend Jeanne helped direct the packing and my friend Debbie offered to spend the night

with Andrew at the hospital so my husband could get some much needed sleep too. Debbie

became so close to our family during Andrew’s treatments. She helped us in more ways than we

can ever recount. We eventually called her our “angel.” She was a godsend. I cannot even

comprehend what the experiences would have been like without the love and support of friends

like Debbie and Jeanne and so many people who stepped up and supported us during Andrew’s

first year of treatment. They were my strings to Jesus because in my exhaustion and anger I had

cut all ties to Him. They were the threads I hung on to. They deserve all credit due for

supporting me in very personal and practical ways.

Things seemed to be getting better, but the storm wasn’t over yet. Jeanne drove me to the hotel

to wait for my husband. The hotel manager unlocked the door, lifted our overnight bags and

started a fire in the fireplace; but shortly after he left, the flume broke and black smoke

billowed into the hotel room. As the room filled with black smoke, Jeanne and I raced around

trying to grab our overnight bags. We could not see in the sudden darkness because the smoke


was so thick. The wall by the fireplace turned completely black with fumes of heavy smoke.

Jeanne and I found the door and stood in the freezing January weather. We were without coats,

smoke was pouring out of the room through the door, fire alarms were screaming and the hotel

manager was running toward our commotion. Time stood still again. The experience was too

chaotic and my ability to comprehend was waning because I was feverish and cold. It was not

the calm or eye in the storm I had hoped for, not even for one night.

Our room was severely damaged. Jeanne and I were both upset and coughing. The manager

quickly gave us another room. He apologized profusely. I could tell he knew a little about our

circumstances and that I was very ill. My husband finally arrived. Jeanne left. We settled in for

the night hoping a good night’s sleep would give us a brighter prospective; but I tossed and

turned, questioning the bizarre chain of events, wondering if they had a spiritual basis. Finally,

only the distant rumbling of my sleepy thoughts could be heard as the day’s storm retreated

into the night.

The next day the sun was shining. My husband and I went to visit Jake and get a progress

report on his condition. Thankfully, he was doing much better. We ran a quick errand then

headed to our new home. It was 2pm when we arrived, but family and friends had been moving

us all morning. We started toward the front door when ten people walked past me and said,

“Good-bye, Leanne. Bye! Enjoy your new home.” I didn’t know any of them, but quickly said,

“Thank you” and walked into the house.

Pictures were hung on the walls, people were eating sloppy joes at the dining room table, and

furniture was in its place. I wandered through the house in awe. The kitchen and bathrooms

were all in order. Someone had even put new contact paper down in each cabinet. I walked

upstairs and noticed our bedroom had beautiful floral arrangements everywhere. My friend,

Elizabeth, the first person I called and told about Andrew’s suspicious mass, was standing in

our room adding her finishing touch. Everything was in its place and adorable. With tears

flowing, I looked at her. She said, “Lay down. Don’t do a thing and just lay down to rest. It’s all

taken care of and everything is in its place.”

I lay down and cried, but with happy tears because I was so thankful for the many people who

helped us during our time of need. Finally, we had our own home and it was big enough for our

whole family. The move was over and as I looked out the window of my new bedroom, a glimpse

of sun broke through the clouds.

Chapter 6

A Rigorous Routine Controlling Our Lives

In late January 1993, we prepared for Andrew’s second round of chemo and the birth of our

new baby boy, Luke. Now that the big move was over, we focused on the baby’s breech posture.

My doctor scheduled an external inversion. First they sedated me, just enough to relax my body,

but not enough to harm the baby. The sedation felt good. I remember smiling and wishing I had

a stock pile of the drug to get me through the coming months. When I was relaxed enough, two

doctors stood opposite each other and tried to manipulate my swollen belly in an attempt to

reverse the baby’s position. The procedure took my breath away and hurt for several minutes.


When they were done, they did an ultrasound to confirm their success, but they cautiously

reminded me that the baby may not stay in the correct position for birth.

Later that evening, we held a prayer meeting at our house. Friends laid hands on me to pray

according to James 5:14 which says, “Is any sick among you? Let him call for the elders of the

church; and let them pray over him, anointing him with oil in the name of the Lord.” We also

prayed over Andrew and then over every room in the house. While laying hands on Andrew, he

fell fast asleep. His peacefulness was evidence to me of God’s presence in us and through us as

we embarked on the battle to save his life.

We started the second round of chemo in late January, timing Andrew’s hospitalization around

the birth of our baby. Shortly after chemo was administered, Andrew would have a few good

days before he would bottom out and need to be hospitalized again. With this in mind, we

conveniently scheduled an induction so I could give birth and recover during Andrew’s good

days. Chemotherapy kills cancer cells and the body’s health cells, decreasing the body’s ability

to fight infection. When Andrew’s blood counts were low, he was susceptible to various diseases

or illnesses; and we did not want him to be sick when the baby came home.

Labor and delivery went well with the exception of the umbilical cord being wrapped around

Luke’s neck. The doctors figured the cord became entangled during the external inversion

process; however, it was not tight enough to cause any complications during or after delivery.

When we returned home, my sister stayed with us for a week, which really helped because she

did everything around the house and cared for our other children so I could rest and recover. A

mother herself, my sister thought of every need before I could speak it. She even stayed up with

Luke through the night so I could rest. I remember being scared when she left because I was on

my own with five little children. But like a baby eagle, I needed to be thrown out of the nest and

learn to fly on my own. I tried to nurse Luke, but was so focused on Andrew and his care it only

lasted two months.

In early February, Andrew received his second round of chemo and we began the rigorous

routine of hospitalizations three and a half weeks every month. We spent a lot of time away

from our other children. My prayer for them was a desperate plea that God would provide

quality loving care for each one of their needs. A friend encouraged us saying, “Even though

other people are putting your children to bed, they are doing it in the Lord’s name, which was

as if Jesus was putting them to bed.” Those words provided a lot of comfort. It was hard to be

separated from our family, but even harder because our children were all so young and needy

for mommy and daddy. Being tossed and pulled in so many directions really made me feel like I

was losing control emotionally, mentally and physically. Matters were made worse when loving

friends or family would call to chat and mention life outside our realm of the hospital and

treatments. They would mention seeing a new movie or trying a new restaurant, and we felt so

oblivious to the outside world. It always reminded us of what we had lost, a sense of normalcy;

and even though they never meant to hurt us, the reality of our situation seeded bitterness

within me.

Hospital life was our world now. We were forced to function only in the realm of life or death,

with the demands of cancer treatments and its harsh side effects controlling our every move.

Anyone whose been hospitalized long-term will tell you it’s like living in a new world or on a

new planet. In the “outside” world you are a civilian and can do as you please, making choices


on where you’ll go and what you’ll do to create a life. However, inside the controlled

environment of a hospital you must learn to function within restrictive parameters; therefore,

you have very limited choices of what you can and cannot do to create a life. It is extremely

difficult to be in the situation on a long-term basis. Some people might be comforted by the

restraint, but I felt controlled, perhaps because it went against the grain of my own controlling

nature. This was a weakness, so I prayed for God’s grace to help overcome the bitterness now

spouting within me.

In March 1993 our oncologist scheduled a bone marrow harvest for Andrew in Los Angeles.

Our trip was overwhelming. Luke was only six weeks old. I was still nursing him, so we brought

him along. We stayed outside the city, but travelled into the heart of Los Angeles to the

children’s hospital. Andrew underwent testing the first two days and on the third day they

harvested his bone marrow. It was a scary time for us because we did not know anyone in the

area much less know anything about where we were going. To make matters worse, it was

shortly after the 1992 riots and the neighborhoods we travelled through were unstable,

unpredictable. The area near our coastal hotel was calmer and quieter, but we spent most of our

time in the hospital.

After the first day of pre-op testing, we walked along a pier to get some fresh air and enjoy the

breezes, sights, sounds and smells of the ocean. We were struck by so many homeless people

lying in the grass along our walk. It was strangely comforting to know others were enduring

hardships too. We were not alone in our pain and losses. I studied Andrew. His hair was thin

and scraggly; blowing in the breeze, seeming to me a metaphor of how fragile life can be and

how thin a thread life’s highs and lows can dangle.

The bone marrow harvest procedure was excruciating for Andrew. Doctors took marrow from

the base of his neck and lower back. The bone marrow was filtered or ‘cleaned’ to make sure

there was no cancer cells. Then it was frozen in hopes to use for a transplant, if needed. After

Andrew’s recovery, we were able to return to our hotel. He was in extreme pain and could not

move his little body. He couldn’t even turn his head.

Later in March, after we had returned home from California, Andrew was hospitalized for his

third round of chemo. Infections were becoming common as his blood count dropped and his

healthy cells were being killed off. Andrew was completely bald. He was in and out of the

hospital. We tried to adjust to the routine, but it was strenuous. Our days were blurred. I don’t

remember reflecting much on what was happening at the time, just that we had to follow the

routine like an obedient robot because it was a matter of life and death for Andrew.

Every week brought new challenges, a new illness and a heightened degree of seriousness

toward Andrew’s condition. His health was our main focus and anything else was a luxury. If I

was home, that was a luxury. If I was shopping at the grocery store, that was a luxury. If I was

paying bills, that was a luxury. If I slept in my own bed, that was a luxury. If I was doing

mountains of laundry, that was a luxury because all of the above represented some semblance of

normalcy. Since disease controlled so much of our life, the simplest things in life were

appreciated all the more. Today I try to remember that feeling of angst, so I don’t revert back

to taking life’s ordinary moments for granted.


In May, Andrew started five days of radiation treatments. The radiation room was intimidating

with its huge two-foot thick steel door, straight out of a sci-fi movie. Inside the room was softer

with painted murals to distract a patient’s worries. Andrew was almost two years old, making

him a candidate for sedation because the patient could not move during the radiation

treatments for fear they would radiate the wrong part of his body. I hated the idea of sedating

him for five days in a row, so we begged the technician to let us try to keep him still.

Fortunately, Andrew could watch a movie so we chose Barney, the purple dinosaur. This made

the experience fun for Andrew and really diverted his attention away from the fact that I was

not at his side.

The radiation treatment took a matter of seconds. I followed the tech into another room. The

steel door closed tightly as we watched Andrew on a monitor for any movement. I’ll never

forget hearing the machine turn on, zip-zap, and it was done. It was such an eerie sound to me

and I wondered, “What am I doing to my child? Why am I allowing this?” I hated those days

and every decision we felt forced to make, wondering all the while if we were choosing the right

path to help our child. With radiation, one wrong move could cause permanent damage. Every

day I went through the same emotions. I wanted to bust down that thick steel door and wrap

Andrew up in my protective arms.

April, May, June and July we spent in the hospital as the chemo treatments became more

extensive. The chemo created marble-size sores that began in Andrew’s mouth, went down his

esophagus, into his stomach, through his intestinal walls and out his rectum. Andrew started

bleeding internally with blood showing up in his stools. He also experienced projectile vomiting

during his radiation treatments. I really began to wonder if his body could withstand much

more of the rigorous routine of treatments.

Chapter 7

Angry at God: Bitterness turns Cancerous

When a child is diagnosed and being treated for cancer, the ripple of pain and uncertainty

spreads through parents, siblings, other family, friends and community members. Parents

finding themselves in this horrific situation can never imagine the emotional, physical and

financial toll of battling cancer. It is essential to reach out for resources available through

family, friends and community. You are not alone. Whether those struggles are battling cancer

for your child or another crisis in life, everyone copes in their own way, in their own time.

Looking back, you may wish you had handled it differently or better; but you did what you

thought best at the time in the best way you could.

In June, my husband left for a Promise Keepers convention in Colorado. Although we both

knew the experience and fellowship would be beneficial for him, I struggled emotionally with

his opportunity to be rested and encouraged while I maintained the daunting schedule of

chemo, Andrew’s illness and managing our young children. My spiritual health had

deteriorated and the seeds of bitterness had turned into full-blown anger toward God. I felt like

God’s puppet and never missed an opportunity to share my puppet-identity with others. I truly


felt God was manipulating the circumstances in our life, manipulating my character in the


One afternoon during my husband’s absence, I wanted to mow the lawn. Most of the kids were

napping with the exception of the two older boys who were playing in the plastic kiddie pool on

the deck. I figured there was a window of opportunity to mow the lawn before being pulled in

several directions. At best, I had 25-30 minutes to complete the task; and as far as I was

concerned, I needed the instant gratification. It’s one of those simply luxuries you want back

when life turns upside down.

The lawnmower wouldn’t start, but I kept trying. I pulled the cord back so many times my

fingers started to bleed because I had torn away the skin. I became angry, determined and out

of my mind with rage. I kept trying and trying and trying. I refused to pray for God’s help. My

pity party was the fact that I was so young, 29 years old, and had had too many struggles in my

short life, and now we were dealing with terminal cancer and having to watch our son suffer

through horrific treatments in an effort to save his life. I deserved to have the lawn mower start!

I reserve the right to choose what cards would be dealt. I started screaming and swearing at the

top of my lungs. I told God, “You’re treating me like a puppet and you’re controlling my life

and I’m sick of it! What are you trying to do? What is your great plan and purpose in all this?

I’m trying to change! All I want to do is start this f-ing lawn mower and I’m not going to ask for

your help!!! Unfortunately for her, a neighbor lady was jogging by and had the pleasure of

listening to my rant. I forcefully pushed the lawn mower against a wood shed next to our house.

I was mad and the lawn mower was my victim. Then I rammed the mower into a tree several

times. Then in my crazed rage I picked up the mower over my head and dropped it onto the

driveway, not once, but many times. I was pitching a real fit. Finally, I raised the mower up over

my head one last time and threw it into a grouping of six oak trees.

I walked away from the damage exhausted, bleeding, sweaty and swearing at God, reminding

Him I did not need nor would I ask for His help, ever! It was a turning point; the beginning of a

rebellion against God which lasted through the month. I was so angry that every aspect of our

life was completely controlled by the disease and its exhaustive treatments. We had no options.

We had no choices. I couldn’t plan our day or week like others. We couldn’t spontaneously go

to the beach that summer like friends, family and neighbors did. Our day was planned and we

had to follow the plan because it meant life or death. I hated it. I was tired. Wanting to start the

lawn mower seemed like such a simple task, but I felt God wouldn’t allow it.

The whole summer of 1993 was stormed with bitter emotions and a growing hatred toward

God. I started smoking. I started drinking. Not heavily, but every chance I got I’d ‘run away’

from home, meeting a friend for drinks or use the excuse of running to the store as an

opportunity to stop and smoke at a park along the way. I reverted to an adolescent character,

not wanting responsibilities, rebelling and trying to live a carefree “who gives a rat’s ass” life. I

was harsh with my children too.

The same day our lawn mower wouldn’t start, I had made plans to attend my ten-year class

reunion. When I went to the basement to get a load of laundry to get ready for the reunion, I

discovered the basement floor had flooded. The carpet was destroyed with an inch of water

covering the entire area. I would later learn a tree root was squeezing our sump-pump pipe,


causing water to back up into the house. (It was probably a root from the tree I had thrown the

lawn mower into earlier that day.)

We had a full walk-out basement complete with a living area, full bath and bedroom. We rented

the space to a tenant to help pay our mortgage. We had one simple rule. The tenant could use

the kitchen in exchange for us having access to our laundry room. The deal worked wonderfully

as we usually found young Christian college students needing cheap rent and extra cash. We

also had a built-in babysitter, if needed for emergencies, like rushing Jake or Drew to the


This day would be no ordinary day. Naturally, our tenant was upset by the sudden disaster

created with an inch of water covering her life’s possessions. We were both upset, but in true

survivor fashion, I kicked into gear and started removing her furniture so we could rip out the

carpet and dry up the water. She was acting very strange under the circumstances. At first I

thought her angry outbursts was her way of handling a frustrating situation, but then she

started talking to invisible people. Then she started hitting herself. My immediate thought was,

“What the hell, girlfriend? Give me a break! Yeah, life sucks, but deal with it.”

I took a deep breath and apologized for the mess. She stormed out of the house, demanding

everything be returned to normal before she returned home. I looked down at the blood seeping

through my gauzed, swollen hand, looked at the flooded basement in disbelief, and then heard

Andrew’s medication timer go off. I retreated upstairs feeling guilty for being so

uncompassionate. I wouldn’t learn until much later that our tenant suffered from manic

depression and that she had stopped taking her meds.

Fresh and energized from their naps, the kids were hungry, loud and needy. I started yelling. I

knew I was in danger of losing control, so I sent all of them to their rooms to play. I needed to

get a grip on my behavior and try to salvage my chances to attend the reunion.

I climbed into the shower and was immediately overwhelmed with horrid thoughts of killing

myself and/or my children. This seemed to be the answer to end all suffering. These thoughts

were vivid and raced through my mind. My carnal, fleshly nature was attacking my spirituality.

I literally felt as if an evil presence, SELF, was trying to bring to death my true nature as a child

of God. I knew I had to get away from the house and away from my children immediately.

Jumping out of the shower, I threw on my robe and ran to my bedroom to call my friend,

Michelle. I begged her to come over immediately because I needed to get away from the house

and especially away from the kids. I told her I was scared, falling apart and losing control of my

thoughts. She assured me she would come over as soon as possible.

While she was in route, and in my madness, I packed a week’s worth of food and clothing into

our van. I wanted to be prepared before she arrived so she wouldn’t realize I had no intention

of returning. Just as I was grabbing as much money as I could find, Michelle walked into the

house. I looked at her in desperation and walked out the door without saying a word.

I drove down the street, stopped at a gas station and bought a pack of smokes. I had been a nonsmoker

for six years, and now I was a closet-smoker whenever I found myself alone. I had no

idea where I was going. I drove all over the Twin Cities metro area and also through small

suburban towns. I was searching for a cheap motel where I planned to live until I had a better

plan. I convinced myself that returning home was not an option for the safety of my children. I


needed to find the perfect place, yet affordable using cash because I did not want anyone to

track me down and make me return home. The entire time I drove around, I chain smoked, one

cigarette after another. They were making me nauseous so I leaned over the wheel with a

pounding headache. My driving became erratic. I started to vomit almost losing control of the

van. I cried, “God, please lead me somewhere safe. Please give me rest.” The next thing I knew,

I was pulling into Jeanne’s driveway. She opened her door, gasped at my appearance. She knew

immediately I was distraught. I told her I was at the end of my rope, I planned to leave my

family, and that I couldn’t take the pressure of the boys’ illnesses anymore. I begged her for a

place to rest before setting up my new life. I told her I was sick from smoking. Jeanne was just

leaving for work so she quickly tucked me into bed, put water on the nightstand and told me I

could stay as long as needed. It was 6:30pm. I fell asleep immediately and slept for four hours.

When I woke up, I went downstairs and found a note from Jeanne telling me to make myself at

home. She also said she called her sister who was five minutes away and told her to check in on

me. Jeanne encouraged me to spend the night and take a much needed break from life. I flipped

her note over and wrote, “Guilt makes me return. I know I’m not in a healthy state-of-mind,

but the guilt of leaving my innocent children to fend for themselves is stronger than my own

needs, wants, and desires. I hate me. I hate guilt, but I must return. Love you for loving me,


Michelle was surprised to see me when I came into the house. I suspected Jeanne and Michelle

had talked via phone about my unstable condition. It was late and the kids were all asleep. I

abruptly asked Michelle to leave, indicating I was in no condition to explain or discuss my

behavior. I climbed into bed and fell fast asleep. I don’t recall how the next day started or how I

managed to get out of bed. Looking back, I think I was in a state of shock, completely void of

any emotion or reaction. The one thing I do remember was an inability to trust my actions,

myself. I do remember feeling very scared and confused, but in some mechanical, robotic

fashion I spent the entire day ripping carpet out of the basement. I’m sure some educated

psychologist would tell you I was suffering from post traumatic stress disorder and would need

a slew of mind-altering drugs to apprehend my sanity. But truth be told, what I really needed

was the spiritual remembrance of my true identity as a child of God, made perfect and

righteous in His image and likeness. I needed to come to my spiritual senses, not the five

worldly, carnal senses we rely on such as taste, touch and smell to form ideas and opinions

about this worldly kingdom of good and evil, but my spiritual identity which is Christ rising

within me, gifting me with his nature, making His kingdom come IN me. God had promised to

send his helper, the Holy Spirit, which is in me, but it would take the death of this carnal nature

to remember my true identity.

Later in the evening, my husband pulled into the driveway, rested and excited to share his

Promise Keepers experience. Without asking how I was or how the weekend went with the kids,

he started sharing his ‘high’ of fellowship with like-minded men. I stared at him, void of

expression. I wanted him to take care of me, protect me and let me clasp in his arms. He was

clueless to my ordeal and I resented him for it. Later, when he learned how the weekend had

enfolded, he showed his concern for my well-being by trying to be the stronger, more righteous

Christian. I resented that too.

Our marriage was tense. We handled our stress of Andrew’s illness in very different ways. I was

the doer and he shut down. I needed to communicate my fears and frustrations, he stopped

talking and withdrew. I bugged him and he bugged me. I felt like I was carrying the whole load,


especially when it came to chores and managing the kids. The more I would do, the more he

would shut down and do nothing. At times, I would find him spending hours in the bathroom,

primping his nails, hair or whatever as a sort of retreat from the stress. Meanwhile, I was doing,

going and organizing every chance I could, building up resentment toward him every step along

the way. We fought constantly.

On one particular night, we started fighting about who needed sleep more. He was drained from

work and trying to attend CPA classes part-time. I was managing kids; the house; loads of

laundry; awakened throughout the night with Jake’s feeding pump, which needed to be reset

often if the tube was pinched; Andrew’s round-the-clock meds or the baby needing to be


Andrew was very sick and his counts had bottomed out, making him extremely susceptible to

infection. Old and fresh blood was showing up in his diapers so I knew he was bleeding

internally. I was folding laundry as we fought over who was more exhausted. I remember

thinking, “Andrew is going to be admitted into the hospital tonight. I’ll have to make the call,

because mister, ‘I’m so exhausted from work and school’ won’t think of it. I’ll tell the nurse

Andrew’s vomiting, feverish, and coughing, with blood in his stools and the nurse will tell me to

bring him in immediately.” I knew the drill but so wanted to stay home and sleep in the comfort

of my own bed. Plus if I pack for the hospital, I have to pack for three: Andrew, nursing Luke

and me.

I picked up Luke who was fussing and looked at my husband’s closed eyes. He was pretending

to settle into a deep sleep on the couch. I reminded him how often I was up throughout the night

and that he really needed to go to the hospital with Andrew. We started to fight. He said he

needed his sleep so he could be fresh for work in the morning. I said, “Who cares about f-ing

work!!!? I’m falling apart! I haven’t had the Promise Keepers experience of good fellowship,

rejuvenation and retreating from this disease! He yelled back, reminding me that our finances

were in shambles and we needed his income to survive. It was a terrible fight and the more we

yelled the more Luke fussed.

When I stormed out of the room to call the nurse, my husband snuck off to bed. Sounding

alarmed, the nurse told me to bring Andrew in immediately. I found my husband sleeping

soundly and screamed at him and his selfishness as I packed bags. I told myself I wasn’t going

to tell him how concerned the hospital was and that tonight could be the night his son dies. I

packed the double stroller in the van with heavy bags loaded with Andrew’s favorite toys,

blankets and movies and Luke’s diapers and clothes, knowing we would be in the hospital for

more than one or two days. Next I put both boys in the van and headed out. As I was driving

down the interstate, Andrew threw up. My memory raced back to a time when Jake couldn’t

breathe and I was rushing him to the hospital going 80 miles per hour through the city with my

emergency flashers on. I was prepared then to plough-down anyone who got in my way because

Jake had stopped breathing. This time too I floored the gas, knowing I couldn’t do anything to

help Andrew, but wanting desperately to comfort him in my arms. Andrew started crying

because he didn’t like vomit all over him. This made Luke cry too.

I drove swiftly into the hospital parking ramp. It was after midnight and in the scary part of the

inner city. It was uncomfortable realizing we were alone and vulnerable. I parked at the top of

the inclined ramp. Rushing around the van, I took the stroller out and placed Luke in his seat.


In my haste, I failed to set the stroller brake. I threw the bags onto the stroller handlebars and

one in Andrew’s seat. I planned to carry Andrew because he was so sad. Just as I put Andrew in

my arms he tried to talk, but the look in his eyes warned me he was about to throw up. In the

same instant I pushed him away from me, the realization that I had failed to pack my own bag

of clothes hit me. He vomited projectile, and thankfully missed me, but during the commotion

and without realizing it, I had bumped the stroller, which was now careening down the incline

of the parking ramp. Andrew had my full attention. He felt so feverish. He warned me again

that he was about to throw up. He started scream-crying, so I held him close as I turned toward

the stroller to grab the handles and rush into the hospital. The stroller handles were gone! The

stroller was gone! My baby Luke was gone!

Andrew started throwing up again. As I pushed him away from me, I saw the stroller already

halfway down the ramp. I started to run, trying to hold Andrew at a distance to keep my clothes

clean. After he was done, I held him close so I could run faster. The stroller was picking up

speed. Andrew warned me again that he was about to get sick. We were about 15 feet from the

stroller, but I could tell the wheels were turning, threatening to topple it over. Luke would be

tossed onto the pavement if the stroller hit the parked car dead ahead so again I held Andrew

with outstretched arms and ran. Simultaneously, as I was about to grab the stroller handles,

pulling Luke to safety, I pulled Andrew close with my free arm and just then he threw up down

the back of my neck. Then pushed himself away from his vomit and threw up all down the front

of me. With force, the stroller and Luke hit the parked car. Thankfully, Luke was not tossed

onto the pavement, but the sudden jolt frightened him so he started crying. Andrew was crying.

I was swearing like a drunken sailor at last call.

When we walked into the hospital, several nurses met us with wide eyes. They heard us coming

before they saw us. Luke had calmed down somewhat but Andrew was still crying and upset.

One nurse took Andrew and one nurse took Luke, assuring me they were both in good hands so

I could shower. After cleaning up and putting on scrubs, I went into the family lounge to call my

husband. I was exhausted and needed his support. What I really wanted was for him to take

pity on me after our parking ramp experience. I wanted to sob and tell him I couldn’t do this

alone anymore. The answering machine picked up. I yelled his name several times trying to

wake him. I tried calling over and over again, leaving more volatile messages each time the

answering machine kicked on. I would learn later that he shut off the volume when he heard me

pull away from the house. I resented him. I resented his lack of involvement, his lack of

compassion and his inability to function or come to our aid when times were most stressful.

It took the kids and me awhile to settle into the hospital routine. It was about 4am before I

really started to calm down and think of sleep. Just then, Luke woke up needing to be fed. It

was an awful, exhausting night. Between Andrew’s suffering, Luke’s fussing and nurses coming

in and out of the room to do vitals, I maybe had 20 minutes of sleep. I tried to call my husband

one last time. I screamed into the answering machine, “If you don’t get up right now and come

to the hospital, I’m going to divorce you! I can’t take this anymore! I need sleep! I can’t nurse

the baby without sleep! I hate you!!!”

A cancerous bitterness had infected my heart with the physical, emotional and spiritual illness

taking a toll on my marriage, my children and me.


Chapter 8

A Lesson from God

Andrew’s condition was precarious.

I gave up nursing Luke and sent him home with our childcare provider. I stayed with Andrew

for four days straight holding him in my arms. He was on the brink of life or death. Each time

Andrew would stir in my arms, I was instructed to push a dose of morphine into his tiny body.

Our doctor said Andrew’s internal bleeding, caused by the treatments, was endangering his life.

Movement from Andrew or from me was restricted so a nurse placed a small pump in my hand

allowing me to push his morphine with my thumb.

During those long days, I thought a lot about God. I wondered how he could allow such

suffering and pain. The truth of John 3:16 was that God so loved the world (us) that He gave

His only begotten Son, Jesus Christ, that whomsoever believe in Christ, would not perish (die)

but have everlasting life. I questioned God’s love for Andrew and for me so I asked Him to show

me who He was, and then asked Him to show me who we were in Christ. (His identity. Our

identity IN Him)

As I was holding Andrew, I had a daydream that would answer the first aspect of my question.

In my vision, a crowd of raving lunatics rushed into our hospital room and ripped Andrew out

of my protective arms. They took him out through the double glass doors and started beating

and whipping him. I was trying to get through the doors to rescue my precious son, but each

step closer seemed to take an eternity. Andrew was screaming and reaching out for me. With all

my strength and power, I finally reached him and held him in my arms once more. The angry

crowd instantly disappeared. Andrew was peaceful once again. Shaken, I sat down stroking his

face and lulling him into a peaceful sleep when suddenly I sensed Jesus standing before us.

His eyes were filled with compassion. He seemed to study Andrew, then me. Without a word

from Him, I felt an overwhelming sense of peace as he seemed to telepathically confirm

everything would be okay. As I stared into his loving eyes, the same crazed mob that attacked

Andrew rushed in and seized Jesus. The crowd dragged Jesus into the corridor and began

beating him like they had just moments ago with my son. At that precise moment my prayer to

know God was answered. God is all powerful and had more ability than I to rescue his son, but

he chose not to for our sakes. God could have saved His son, but because of His great love for

us, He allowed the suffering, beatings, torture and crucifixion of His only Son.

It was a powerful illustration; one that would begin my journey of truly knowing His character,

His nature, and His love. God broke through my heart that day. As the vision abruptly ended, I

believed to my very core, without a doubt, that He loved me, that He loved my son, and that He

would work all things together for good. If someone was hurting my children I could intervene

and rescue them. God had more power than I to rescue His son but chose not to because of His

great love for us. The truth of that love reached deep into my bitter heart, and a faith in Him

that surpasses understanding took root.


Chapter 9

Yellow Flowers and a White Casket

Andrew survived the internal bleeding episode, but his treatment options were running out. In

an effort to maintain some emotional control, my mind became obsessed with planning his

funeral. I planned who would speak and who would sing. The colors would be white and yellow.

Yellow is Andrew’s favorite color, so we would place yellow and white flowers everywhere.

White speaks of innocence and purity, of childhood; so his casket would be pure white. His

casket would be open during the wake and we planned to sing praise songs just before closing it.

My mind raced through every detail over and over again. I told several people about our plans

because I knew we would be in the hospital for several days and under great duress. We did not

want anyone to make decisions for us, for Andrew’s sake.

Andrew would wear his little denim cap because it was so adorable on him. He would be dressed

in jeans, a denim shirt and hiking boots; symbolizing his tough spirit yet carefree nature. He

would be placed in his white casket with yellow flowers streaming down every direction.

We picked out every song and every bible verse. The funeral home was located close to our

church. At the visitation we would display pictures of Andrew, making a collage with captions. I

imagined working on the project the night before his funeral, seeking healing and comfort from

the pictorial memories. My sister Lisa would read specific scriptures. A verse that had special

meaning to us when Jake was born was John 9:1-3. “And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man

blind from birth. And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his

parents, that he was born blind? Jesus answered, "Neither hath this man sinned, nor his

parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him." Shortly after Jake was

stabilized and home with 24-hour nursing care, Andrew was diagnosed with deadly cancer. As a

parent, devastated by not one but two sons’ terminal illnesses, I thought, “What am I doing

wrong, God? Why are you punishing me?” Like Job’s friends, I questioned God’s plan and

purpose for our lives. I soon realized I was putting my faith and trust in a God I barely knew. I

had false assumptions and misconstrued vain imaginations based on taking many portions of his

word as literal meanings, literal text- when in fact, the bible, God’s word, is filled with types,

symbols and allegories.

The above verse helped us greatly. We didn’t blame ourselves for Jake or Andrew’s illnesses

and we held on, feebly at times, to the hope that God’s work, his plan, would be displayed

somehow through their life, or possibly in death.

My sister would also share another verse in depth and its life application. Philippians 3:10-11

speaks of righteousness by faith, not our own carnal faith which is the law, but spirit-minded

faith which is through Christ, “That I may know him and the power of his resurrection, and the

fellowship of his suffering, being made comfortable unto his death; by any means I might attain

unto the resurrection of the dead.” She felt Andrew had fulfilled the verse because he shared in

the fellowship of Christ’s suffering on earth by enduring torturing physical pain throughout his

cancer treatments. If Andrew had died of cancer, he would have known Christ intimately and

would have experienced the glorious power of his resurrection as he stood alive with Him in

spirit. And like Jesus in his death, Andrew was innocent, yet experienced the sickness (sin) of

this world. Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross was sufficient for all of mankind’s sins as Christ


confirmed this by saying, “It is finished.” I struggled with this thought, however, because

Andrew’s death would not have been sufficient, for cancer cannot be satisfied. Cancer demands

continual sacrifices as many are forced to give with their own life or the life of a loved one.

Moment by moment I questioned the true purpose of Andrew’s pain.

During the funeral, our pastor would share an evangelical message of hope to those who had not

heard the Good News. My husband and I would speak too. We viewed Andrew’s funeral as a

big thank you card. We would thank God for allowing us the privilege of knowing and loving

our son. And even though our years spent together were short, we would thank God for the

blessings and experiences of drawing closer to Him and to our beautiful son. We also wanted to

take the opportunity to thank the many people who supported our family through contributions

of money, time and their efforts of childcare, prayers and meals. Most of the time, those people

were known to us. We knew who was charged with delegating our family’s needs, but many

times we had no idea who was doing the work. We would thank those who brought meals to the

hospital and cared for our other children when we couldn’t be there. We hated the thought of

leaving anyone out, so our thank you would blanket every action taken by others even the

offering of parking money for the hospital ramp. We would thank those who did our laundry,

cleaned our house, washed our van, and the special couple that video-taped our children playing

at home so we could watch the video with Andrew in the hospital. We’d thank those who

brought us encouraging books to read and wrote scripture verses on little note cards we carried

with us. Truly out of the compassion of many we were uplifted. Our church family rallied

together and donated a large sum of money after learning of Andrew’s diagnoses. They had

seen and experienced our battle with Jake’s illness, so when they learned of Andrew’s

devastating diagnoses an outpouring of money was donated so we could put a down payment on

our own home, plus buy a second vehicle so my husband could go to work while I was at the

hospital. It was so amazing!

Yes, Andrew’s funeral would be an opportunity to share our memories, express our gratitude,

but more so his funeral would convey the wonderful works of God made manifest by deadly


Chapter 10

Our Last Chance: An Attempt to Remove the Tumor

In late July conventional cancer treatments were ending. Andrew was finishing the most intense

portion of the protocol which was continuous chemo for seven straight days. We were looking

forward to the end of treatments, but we also knew if the chemo had not destroyed the tumor,

Andrew’s treatment options would be very limited, forcing us into life or death decisions.

Andrew was completely bald. He was twenty-six months old and only weighed 24lbs. His blood

counts were dangerously low, making the common cold a deadly illness. His diet was poor

because he felt sick all the time, making him understandably whiney and clingy.

August 2, 1993, was Andrew’s last day of chemo. We spent the rest of August in the hospital

trying to stabilize his blood and build his immune system. When he was finally released in late


August, our doctor said she wanted give him time to recuperate at home before discussing if

removing the tumor was an option. She also explained a bone marrow transplant was unless if

the tumor could not be removed. She added that she planned to consult with a world-famous

surgeon, known for removing difficult tumors.

Being in the comfort of our own home for a few weeks was nice. As the effects of chemo started

to diminish, Andrew became more and more playful, enjoying the company of his brothers and

sister. As I witnessed his playfulness, my heart ached. This was so unfair. He was an innocent

baby, accepting love and comfort so freely. The anxiety of not knowing his outcome, of living in

fear of his death, became unbearable at times. Simple daily chores were difficult. I was

consumed with the real possibility of holding my dead son in my arms, wondering how I would

ever let go.

Finally, the time came for surgery. We spent a week at the famed Mayo Clinic in Rochester,

Minnesota, doing pre-operative tests. I was in the first trimester of pregnancy with our sixth


Today, many people ask me why I continued to have children during Jake and Andrew’s

illnesses. I’ll take this moment to divert from the main story to explain that I became pregnant

with my last four children while I was on the strongest dose of birth control pills. I would

jokingly explain that the mention of the “P-word” in my presence was enough to get me

pregnant, but the truth of the matter is that each of our children is God’s will for our life,

therefore an amazing blessing.

The day of the surgery, I was terribly ill with morning sickness. At 7am I was holding Andrew

while we waited for the surgeon to take him into the operating room. My dad, my oldest sister,

my husband’s parents and some church friends were present to support us. It was a very

emotional time. Once again, I found myself holding my son, anxiously waiting to hand him over

to a skilled surgeon. I felt an all too familiar fear, an ugly fear. Andrew was adorable, cuddly,

smiling and alive. I knew he would not return to me in the same condition. We experienced the

same scenario countless times with Jake prior to his open heart surgeries. It is an agonizing

experience, almost tortuous, and one you never get use to. You put your child’s life in someone

else’s hands. They make the judgement call. They can make or break your child’s fate. I

earnestly prayed for skilled, compassionate medical staff. We felt utterly helpless. I was tired of

trusting strangers.

Doctors carefully explained that the operation was his last chance for survival. They warned us

that Andrew had a 2% chance of coming out of the surgery alive with the tumor successfully

removed. They also explained that if he lived through surgery, but they were unable to remove

the tumor, Andrew’s treatment options were over; and we would take him home to die. A bone

marrow transplant was Plan B, but futile unless they could remove the entire tumor. Andrew’s

life was suspended on a thin shred of hope, yet we clung to that hope with all our might.

The waiting was over as Andrew was abruptly taken into the operating room. The sting in my

heart was unbearable. Waiting for news of the outcome is indescribable.

Later that day, the OR team recounted what happened: Andrew’s small abdomen was

surgically opened as the team waited for the famed surgeon. When the surgeon entered he

immediately accessed the grapefruit size tumor and its invasive finger-like tentacle locations.


Then, he threw up his hands and said, “Impossible! I’m not touching this child.” He then

explained to the team that any attempt on their part to remove the tumor would end Andrew’s

life. Then he walked out! We were told the team stood for a few moments dumbfounded, and

then decided to remove as much tumor as possible, but would stop if it became too dangerous.

The surgery team emerged from the operating room and explained they were able to remove

about 15% of the tumor. They explained openly that the portions removed would ease

Andrew’s pain while dying.

We were crushed. We felt an urgent desire to be next to Andrew, to hold him and cherish our

moments to cuddle him in our arms. Nothing mattered, except his quick recovery so we could

take him home. Now that a cure was so far from our reach, our duties shifted to protection. No

more needles. No more tests. No more medical staff trying to learn from his illness. No more

decisions. No more surgeries or experiments, just home. Andrew would come home and

experience the life he deserved as a child, carefree and painless.

Later in the evening and just before we were about to leave Andrew’s bedside to rest in the

family lounge, a young oncologist entered his recovery room. We took the opportunity to ask

her about experimental chemo and other options we had read about in books and online. We

were grasping at straws and she quickly became visible irritated. She crossed her arms over her

chest and said, “Face it. Your son is going to die.” I believe she felt the need to be frank so we

would accept Andrew’s death sentence. Today, I am thankful for her harshness because at that

moment we truly became desperate and turned our search for healing wholly toward God.

Our fervent prayers for Andrew’s quick recovery were answered. He was released from the

Mayo Clinic three days after the final attempt to remove his tumor.

As I walked in the door of our home, suitcase and Andrew in hand, the phone started ringing.

The caller was a very gracious woman from Minneapolis Children’s Hospital Hospice service.

After introducing herself, she said, “We understand you have a dying child in your home. We

have been alerted that Andrew is dying of cancer, and we would like to schedule a time to meet

with your family and to meet Andrew to see how we can best assist during the death process of

your son.” I was stunned, but managed to ask that she call back in a few days after we settled in

from our trip. I started to explain that we were overwhelmed, but then just hung up the phone

because my words were not forming into audible sound. Tears flowed down my face as reality

hit. They were done. The doctors, the entire medical community were done. It was apparent

they had been communicating behind the scenes and in their human estimation the next phase

for our family was to assist and support during the death of our son. It was a terrible moment,

and yet we had five children running around the house, excited mommy and daddy were home.

We didn’t have the privilege of processing the pain and emotions of the phone call. Instead we

busied ourselves with feeding the kids, doing laundry and preparing for bedtime; but reality hit

later that evening.

Chapter 11

God Makes a Way


It was 11pm when we finally sat down and prayed. We were completely humbled and asked

God for mercy. In painful surrender we begged for our Father’s help. We asked God to show us

another way. We asked Him to show us how to heal Andrew. We prayed He would forgive us

for seeking man’s wisdom in our fight to battle cancer and pleaded He show us His wisdom in

curing Andrew’s cancer.

That’s when the doorbell rang. I thought, “Who has the nerve to stop by so late in the evening,

especially under our circumstances?” The face at the door was vaguely familiar, a woman from

our church I was just starting to get to know. She apologized profusely, and then explained that

her mother-in-law from Oregon wanted us to have a special book that could help Andrew fight

cancer. She said she had tried to drop the book off all week, but learned after several attempts

that we were away. This night, she felt led to drive past one last time and when she saw a light

on, she knew she had to stop even though it was so late.

I thanked her and took the thick book from her hands. Retreating back into the family room, I

sat down with the book in my lap and for the first time read the title; Prescription for Nutritional

Healing. Without much thought, I flipped the book open and amazingly the page opened on the

topic of cancer. I started reading and immediately felt a sense of truth and hope in what the

book was explaining. I read, and read, and read into the night. Finally, in my excitement, I said

to my husband, “Oh my gosh! This is it! We’ve got to do this!” After explaining the book’s

instructions, my husband wholeheartedly agreed. We finally had something constructive we

could do as parents, and it all made sense. The book’s author was explaining the ownership we

needed to take to fight cancer. He explained how God had created an amazing body with the

ability to heal itself, if we focused on building the immune system. The author suggested

tangible efforts we could take to help Andrew, and the balance of nutrition needed to build his

immune system to attack the deadly disease. So often during Andrew’s conventional medical

treatments, we were told there was nothing we could do as parents to help his fight against

cancer. In many ways, we felt trapped with conventional therapies; and in our ignorance,

allowed the medical community to direct every step of Andrew’s treatment. Now we had action

steps we could wrap our arms around. We had a proactive mission and a step-by-step process

spelled out to build his body’s immune system to fight the disease. It all made so much sense. It

screamed of truth in our spirits. We were elated.

It was very late, but we called a friend from church, Dr. Pete Wurdemann, a chiropractor. Dr.

Pete had been sending nutritional healing information to us throughout Andrew’s treatments,

but we weren’t open to receiving it because like most people, we were bred into believing the

medical community was all knowing, all powerful, all wise when it came to the care of our

health. Now that we were completely surrendered, having been backed into the hopeless corner

of no options for life, we opened to a new way of thinking. The ideas and truths of nutritional

healing took root. After explaining our revelation to Dr. Pete, we asked for his help in getting

started. He told us Andrew needed mega-doses of vitamins, fresh organic carrot-apple juice and

chiropractic treatments. We asked him to help us convince our oncologist. He said he would so

we made plans to meet the following day so he could attend Andrew’s oncology appointment

with us.

Unbeknownst to us, the appointment was originally scheduled to discuss experimental chemo.

Our oncologist had invited a doctor from the University of Minnesota to review Andrew’s

diagnoses and together they planned to sell the idea of experimenting with Andrew’s body for


the benefit of research. However, unbeknownst to them, we came to the appointment armed

with our own expert and knowledge of fighting cancer using natural healing. The appointment

started with introductions, but quickly turned to discussing Andrew’s quality of life. Our

oncologist explained that the experimental chemo could not offer quality of life for Andrew, but

instead would make him sicker, needing to be hospitalized during his final months. In essence

she said the treatment would prolong his life a month, maybe two, but the quality of his life

would be non-existent.

Dr. Pete graciously explained our plan to fight Andrew’s cancer using nutritional therapies.

When it became apparent to both doctors that we would not consider the experimental chemo,

our oncologist abruptly left the room. The other physician listened to our treatment plan,

simply because the situation was awkward; but we sensed his bias toward experimental chemo.

Eventually our oncologist returned, and the two doctors became very frustrated as our

persistence continued. They both left the exam room and I assume they conceded they were not

going to convince us to take the chemo route because when they returned our oncologist stated,

“I am bias toward drug therapy. It’s all we know, and it’s the only option we have for Andrew.

If you want to pursue this natural option, I will support you in any way I can.” We were thrilled

and quickly asked her to place a G-tube in Andrew’s abdomen. We were familiar with the

gastrostomy procedure because of our experiences with feeding Jake. We wanted the G-tube

placed in Andrew because we felt it would be the best way to administer large doses of organic

carrot-apple juice and vitamins into our young two-year-old. Our doctor was surprised at the

boldness of our plan, yet intrigued. As promised, she was supportive and scheduled the

placement of Andrew’s G-tube immediately.

Three days later, God’s plan to build Andrew’s immune system was underway.

Chapter 12

The Program

Hope was the first change we felt in our house after starting nutritional therapy. A sense of hope

and a fresh beginning as we became eagerly expectant of the truths in building one’s immune

system to fight disease. In further reading and research, we learned with chemo and radiation

that we had actually been destroying Andrew’s immune system. Now we were willing to do

whatever it took to build his immune system so his body could fight. The second reality-check

was the realization that Andrew’s health and well-being fell completely on us. That

responsibility was overwhelming. I was suddenly deluged with new information and quickly

became mentally exhausted. At first, I didn’t know why I was doing what I was doing. Dr. Pete

and his wife, Lisa, set up a nutritional protocol, which gave me a list of nutrients to administer

into Andrew’s G-tube on a daily basis. Slowly, they graciously explained the reasons for each

item on the list. Eventually I was taught that the most effective way to build Andrew’s immune

system was through a balanced approach of vitamins, minerals, proteins and pure water. I was

committed to Andrew’s nutritional program, but couldn’t absorb the new information because I

was too busy doing the hands-on work of the program. Slowly but surely, I became a selfeducated

expert on the processes and benefits of natural healthcare.


The first physical change we noticed with Andrew was the increase in his body’s elimination.

When his body started to absorb the good nutrients, the good nutrients worked to cleanse his

body of toxins that had built up and were causing his immune system to be sluggish. We were

hopeful this elimination process would rid his body of the cancer altogether. His bowel

movements were huge, filling his diaper and spilling onto the kitchen floor often. It was so gross,

yet so encouraging. Occasionally, his stools had black blood specs, which I suspected were

remnants of his internal bleeding episode or parts of his tumor. I never took a sample in to be

tested; I was just glad his body was detoxifying. His stools were very foul, which was a good sign

too. Prior to the nutritional program, Andrew’s diet mainly consisted of dairy products, which

tend to make stools foul. Basically, if his stools were stinky and huge, we were on the road to

successfully cleansing anything that took energy away from his immune system. Once the toxins

were out, his immune system could focus its energy on building healthy cells to attack the


Two weeks into the program, we wanted to have our oncologist perform blood and urine tests to

see if our efforts were successful; but Dr. Pete encouraged us to wait a full ninety days to allow

the program to work. We decided to enjoy the holidays as a family; then made plans to schedule

our first round of tests after the New Year. It was 1994.

Our oncologist was amazed to see Andrew. He had gained weight for the first time since his

diagnoses; and his blonde, curly hair had grown back. But the most amazing fact was that his

blood and urine tests revealed that his cancerous cells were decreasing! The great test results

reinforced our commitment toward nutritional therapy, so we continued the rigorous program.

I was in the kitchen morning, noon and night preparing organic juice and vitamins for Andrew.

I would divide his daily vitamins into five doses, grind them in our coffee grinder and add one

mixture into 8 ounces of organic carrot-apple juice. After straining the vitamins through 5-8

ounces of carrot-apple juice, I would allow time for the mixture to soak. Organic juice has to be

used within the first ó hour because of the live enzymes in the juice. After the mixture soaked, I

would place Andrew on the kitchen counter, access his G-tube and slowly push the vitamin/juice

mixture into his stomach with a 64cc syringe. No sooner would the process finish and we would

start all over again.

Andrew was still drinking from a bottle so twice a day he drank 8 ounces of plain carrot-apple

juice. Thankfully, his young age helped. I would fill his bottle with organic juice and set him on

a pillow in front of his favorite cartoon. Andrew would drink the entire bottle, oblivious to its

benefits. I would make lunch for the other kids then prepare another round of the

vitamins/juice mixture for his G-tube. The process was repeated in the late afternoon, after

dinner time, then once more before bed. Meanwhile, Andrew’s body was busy absorbing and

eliminating. Every chance I could, I was busy trying to learn new menus for our entire family.

In support of Andrew’s new diet, we committed to a vegan diet of 80% live foods, which

consisted of fresh organic, raw fruits and vegetables. The other 20% of our diet was whole

grains like brown rice and whole wheat breads.

I was overwhelmed with the changes and stretched to my limits, but for Andrew’s sake I could

not afford to neglect any part of his treatment program. Secretly, I was resentful that my

husband could drive away from it all and go to work. I simply couldn’t. My work surrounded

me day and night and even into the wee hours of the night. Initially, my husband was unwilling


to learn the program of preparing the juice and vitamin mixture. I was angry that he didn’t

show interest in learning about the supplements or how to juice and why. Eventually, he became

more involved but the bulk of the responsibility fell on my shoulders.

We stayed home a lot because Andrew’s treatment schedule limited our free time. I had to be

near the juicer always, but the blessing was that our time at the hospital and with doctors

greatly decreased. Family life took on a whole new dimension, one without hospital admissions,

which we had not experience since Jake’s birth in 1988. Andrew played happily with his older

and younger siblings. His spirit was accepting and loving toward anyone he met. He never

fussed when it came time to sit still and receive his treatment. He simply told me about his day,

his plans to play outside on his yellow slide or we shared stories. I explained to Andrew often

that “the plan” was to help him play more and stay out of the hospital, away from needles. He

understood that sitting for treatments throughout the day meant he could stay home and play,

surrounded by those who loved him most. For a child, that’s all that matters.

Finally, after six months on the nutritional program, we scheduled another round of blood and

urine tests. I’ll never forget the day. Our oncologist opened the exam room door and said, “It’s

a miracle! There are no cancer cells in Andrew’s blood or urine, the tumor is soft and appears

to be dormant!” Then she declared Andrew cancer-free. Her words released a flood of joyful


I must mention here that the entire nutritional program was only made possible by loving

monetary donations of many, many people. We sent letters to friends, family and church

members explaining our plan to fight Andrew’s cancer with nutritional therapy. Unfortunately,

nutritional therapy is not covered under conventional healthcare insurance. We calculated that

Andrew’s program would cost an additional $400 a month. Our need for donations to support

his program was expressed in the letter. A bank account was set-up in Andrew’s name. Once

donations were deposited, the account administrator would reimburse funds to us after showing

receipt of purchased items such as a 50 lbs bag of organic carrots or apples or receipts for

vitamins, protein powders and various minerals and herbs. People were very generous and their

support allowed the program to continue for a few years. Please note if you are a loved one

reading this for the benefit of helping a cancer patient, the best thing you can do is offer

monetary donations or nutritional supplies to support their natural health treatments. They say,

“It takes a village to raise a child.” I say, “It took a village to save a child.”

Chapter 13

Discovering the Cause

After one full year on nutritional therapy, the most significant benefit for Andrew was his

exceptional quality of life compared to the suffering experienced through conventional

treatments. He was running, laughing and playing hard. His hair grew back and his eyes lit up

with life. There was no vomiting, no sores and no more pain. He started eating well and really

enjoyed his carrot-apple juice. The hardest aspect of his life was waiting for me to administer

the juice mixture so he could run off and play again, not a bad trade off from his past. After two

years on the program, his quality of life was the same. He was alive and well and enjoying his


childhood like any other child. He was playing at the beach, playing on his playground and

riding his bike. We hugged and kissed him each night as he climbed into bed exhausted from


In May 1995, as part of researching more treatments for Andrew, I went to have a colonic done

by a naturopathic physician. I told her Andrew’s story and she was intrigued. She said she knew

of a doctor in the Twin Cities area who was an M.D., but now treated his patients naturally. She

said he liked to study difficult cases and asked my permission to tell him our story. I agreed if

she was willing to share his thoughts. She called a few days later and told me he was very

impressed with our natural treatment program. Through her, he asked if we would be willing to

travel to Flagstaff, AZ to be studied at a conference of natural health physicians and

practitioners. He said they would love to ask questions and discuss our case. We were also told

they would seek to discover the cause of our children’s health issues as well as study Andrew’s

protocol to see if there could be any improvements. Now I was intrigued, so we agreed to make

the journey.

Once again, financial help from our natural food co-op, friends and family made the trip


There were over 50 doctors present when we walked into the conference room. It was extremely

intimidating. Each desk held a laptop computer with research books piled high on each side. We

were directed to sit in the front of the room. Immediately, doctors began asking intense

questions about our family’s well-being. They asked about our emotional health and even asked

Andrew a few questions. The first session lasted five hours; but by the time we were done,

doctors had a complete understanding of Andrew’s treatment program. On day two, the second

session of questions last three hours. Toward the end of the second day, the instructor, who had

always been in the back of the room guiding the physicians’ inquiries, asked me, “Leanne, have

you ever had problems with skin eruptions?” I thought, “What an odd question.” Then I told

him that after I had my first child, I developed a severe case of cystic acne. He asked me what I

did about it, so I told him I went to see a dermatologist who put me on a drug called Accutane.

After I said, “Accutane” the room erupted. Some doctors put their hands in their face, some

threw their pens in the air and some even stood up and walked out of the room. Clearly,

frustration and sadness filled the room. I heard deep sighs and muttered whispers, as I sat alone

in the front of the room wondering what I had just said. The conference instructor walked

toward me, put his hands on my shoulders and with tears welled in his eyes said, “Leanne, I am

so sorry for you, for your family.” Then he turned to the remaining class and asked, “What do

we know about the long-term side effects of Accutane?”

I’d always read lists of the short-term side effects of medications, but the concept of long-term

side effects was new to me. Could a drug really stay in your system long-term, affecting your

health and well-being? Was it true? Was my body unable to process or assimilate the synthetic

nature of the drug, allowing it to create devastating results in my children? Physicians answered

their instructor’s question by listing off just a few of the long-term side effects of Accutane.

They are as follows: distress to the central nervous system, insomnia, birth defects (Jake &

Aubree!), liver toxicity, urinary infections, pressure on the brain, dizziness, gastro-intestinal

infections (Luke!), seizures, cancer (Andrew!), a recurrence of acne, eye damage, heart

murmurs (Aubree!), pains in the chest, legs and arms and finally, geno-toxicity, which means

the drug can have long-term side effects on my children’s children.


I was confused and devastated. I felt misled and yet so ignorant and stupid for having put my

trust in pharmamedicines, especially when I learned the natural medicinal source of all legal

drugs are processed until they become unnatural.

I had taken Accutane for six months. A year and a half passed then I became pregnant with our

second son, Jake. Jake was born with a severe heart defect and no stomach. His life expectancy

initially was 1 year old, but after three open heart surgeries, two stomach operations to create a

micro-stomach and numerous under-the-knife procedures to save his life, the life expectancy for

Jake increased to his late teens. As I write this, Jake is home for the summer from his first year

at college. He will turn 20 in early June, and although he is compromised compared to other 20-

something year olds, he is living a full life, void of medicine or medical procedures. I would also

like to add that after we started nutritional therapy and changed our family diet, Jake’s health

improved dramatically.

My second child born after taking Accutane is Aubree, our first daughter. Aubree was born

with a mild heart defect, which can be easily corrected by angioplasty or in rare cases, the child

will grow out of their defect. Sports were tough on Aubree growing up. Not getting enough

oxygen into her blood forced her off the playing field, needing to take deep breaths in a paper

bag. Like players who have clasped suddenly on the field or court, Aubree was at risk, but

thankfully she was one of the rare cases to grow out of her defect. Andrew was our third child

after taking Accutane. It has been 15 years since our oncologist walked into the exam room

announcing he was cancer-free. Our fourth child after Accutane is Luke. Luke was diagnosed

with gastrointestinal and urological issues before the age of 1 year old. Our fifth child after

Accutane is Lauren. To-date, Lauren has not had any health concerns. Take into account, the

entire time I was pregnant with Lauren, we were pursuing natural therapies, including raw

foods and natural supplements.

Prior to leaving the conference room to head back home, I heard the fundamental truth for

healing, which today is a well known fact: Modern day western medical treatments DO NOT

treat root causes, but rather treat symptoms!! This is VERY important to understand. Although

conventional medicine is necessary for trauma, etc. and many medical procedures may be able

to temporarily make a pain go away, or a rash, or any number of things, there IS always a

ROOT cause that made whatever it is appear in the first place and until that root cause is

PROPERLY DEALT WITH, your health issue will continue to cause problems at some level.

After returning from our trip, I felt compelled to have some medical tests of my own. I wanted

second opinions, so I made appointments at two different clinics. I’d never given much thought

to my own health. I knew I had nagging issues, but was too overwhelmed and consumed with

the boys’ medical crisis to take time for myself. Both clinic test results concurred that my liver,

adrenal glands and thyroid were severely stressed. I also had a pre-cancerous condition in my

bladder. I was immune-suppressed. One physician said my body was on the verge of exploding

into disease. Immediately, I began a rigorous supplement and detoxification program. The

results were extremely positive. I have not returned to a doctor appointment since and have no

health issues.

One quote from a physician regarding Accutane says, “Accutane is so toxic it just doesn’t seem

worth the risk to put it on the market.” To-date, we know three physicians that are willing to

testify that Accutane was the cause of the medical crisis in four of our six children. We also


learned the FDA did not want Accutane on the market believing it was too risky, but the

dermatology practitioners fought for it because the drug had fast-acting results.

One doctor I spoke with told me most drugs are put on the market without knowing the drug’s

long-term side effects. Over the years, we have all seen or read the devastating stories of lives

lost because the FDA approved a drug before knowing its lasting, long-term effects. So many

innocent people have died or had to suffer because pharmaceutical companies only care to mass

produce new drugs in their quest to make millions.

During the long drive home from Arizona to Minnesota, my husband and I discussed our new

awareness. It all made sense. We felt a sense of relief learning the boys serious illnesses were not

some fluke or poor luck. The conference physicians had taught us that there was a rational

cause for our circumstances and the boys’ ill-health.

Our experience in Arizona renewed my passion for nutritional therapy. I was driven to share

our experience and educate others so they would not fall into the belief that drug therapy was

the answer for their degenerative disease. We wanted others to benefit from our story and

hoped to stop the needless suffering and pain our sons endured.

Word-of-mouth is powerful, and soon we were talking with parents all over the country, parents

whose child was fighting a cancer diagnoses and losing the battle with chemo and radiation. One

family in Rhode Island made contact with us after their hospital sent their young son home to

die. They had a G-tube placed in their son’s abdomen, administered a similar organic

nutritional program and within weeks of staring the program, they learned his cancerous cells

were decreasing. Another family from Michigan followed Andrew’s program, and the child was

also doing very well.

But sharing our story was met with opposition. Shortly after we launched the first print of this

book at a largely attended natural healthcare seminar in Minneapolis, I received a threatening

call. I was doing dishes in the kitchen. It was late in the afternoon so most of the children we

napping or having quiet time reading books in their beds. The phone rang and after I said,

“Hello” a deep voice asked, “Leanne?” I said, “Yes.” In a threatening tone the caller continued,

“Leanne, we know what you’re doing and what you’re saying about Accutane. You need to stop

or else! We will be watching you so you better live a very clean life.” Click, the caller hung up. I

immediately looked out the kitchen window expecting to see a black sedan with tinted windows

parked outside my house. My thoughts raced as I questioned, “Who would have a vested

interest in shutting me up? Who would not want the public to know about the devastating longterm

side effects of Accutane? I convinced myself the intimidating call was made on behalf of

the maker of the drug. Who else would care if Accutane’s reputation was tarnish? We will never

know, but threats of any kind would not stop my passion to raise awareness.

Today, Andrew is doing amazingly well. He will be a senior in high school and has been cancerfree

for fifteen years! In the last conversation I had with our radiologist regarding his

inoperable tumor, he said Andrew’s tumor was soft and had not grown. His assessment was that

the tumor was dormant and more than likely had encased itself, cutting itself off from needed

nutrients to grow and become destructive again. He said Andrew could live to be 72 years old

with the tumor trapped in his body.


Emotionally, Andrew faired very well throughout the whole ordeal of medical and nutritional

therapies. He understood he had cancer and it made him sick. He understood why he was taking

supplements and eating organically. We were open when it came to explaining the “whys” of

what we were doing. The change in Andrew’s quality of life was dramatic. He started

kindergarten right on schedule. Today, he is an amazing young adult considering his college

options. He has the gift of creativity. Andrew is an artist of several mediums. He creates music

videos, drawings, and performs in plays. His best trait though is his ability to accept all people

in all cultures and circumstances.


Key Points of Nutritional Therapy for Cancer

Chapter 1

Be Responsible: Our Environment Increases Cancer Risk

Halfway through our nutritional program, we became aware of the many chemical culprits

inundating our everyday environment and the impact those chemicals have on our overall

health. Our immune system is easily depleted by pollution, chemical cleaners, poor water

quality and poor diet. These factors reduce the body’s ability to heal itself. To date, we have

seen many positive societal changes made to create a healthy living environment. Some

examples include buildings becoming smoke-free, recycling efforts and the production of allnatural

products and more availability of whole organic foods. Thankfully more and more

people are becoming health conscious. With that said, do you think about the quality of water

coming from your kitchen tap? Do you wonder about the quality of the fresh fruits and

vegetables in your local market? Do you question the harmfulness of cleaners and disinfectants

used in your home? If you suffer from disease, it is time for you to closely examine your

personal and professional environment to see whether changes should be made to support your

wellness and quality of life.

There are things we can control in life and many things we cannot control. I’ll use car exhaust

as an example. If we become stuck in rush hour traffic, we breathe in exhaust from other cars,

which in turn depletes our immune system. So to avoid an influx of car exhaust, we might try to

change our route or plan errands during times of the day when there is less traffic. If we

exercise outdoors, we can do so during the early morning hours when there is less exhaust in the


Inside our homes we can change the products we use for disinfectants and cleaners so the air we

breathe is cleaner, safer. We can also change our skin care products from chemically-based

products to natural, bio-degradable, ph-balanced products. So many people are unaware that

the products they put on their skin externally are internally absorbed into the body and affect

the body’s natural balance. Your skin breathes just like your lungs take in fresh air. Everything


is absorbed into our body. Switching to natural products and natural, organic foods is one

significant change in our daily living that promises to make your home and your body healthier.

For Andrew’s sake, we switched everything in our home to natural cleaners, natural laundry

soaps, shampoos, softeners, etc. I was amazed to pull all chemicals off their shelf and pile them

into one location. We quickly saw how our home environment was filled with chemicals, leaving

a residue on our clothes, our countertops, our dishes and much more. We became very

conscious of our cancer patient’s personal environment, including his clothes and the soaps he

bathed with.

Access to pure water is vitally important. One pure water advocate crossed my path very early

on in our natural treatment plan with Andrew. In her small town, they had determined that the

poor water quality was the cause of five known brain tumors in one neighborhood. We also

heard of another twelve people diagnosed with terminal cancer in one church. The suspect in

this case was the area’s poor water quality. It is frightening. Sadly, poor water quality is a

global crisis making millions sick. What has seeped into your ground water? You need to

answer this question and possibly consider investing in a home water treatment system to

ensure that your environment is safe. The Associated Press recently reported that water quality

agencies are now required to make public yearly reports of the chemicals and bacteria found in

tap water. They must also notify the public within 24 hours if a contamination occurs and poses

a significant risk.

Our foods are significantly depleted of nutrients before they reach the grocery store. For

example, one apple is sprayed 14 times with chemical fertilizers and, like our skin; the apple

absorbs those chemicals into its body. So consider what your body must endure and battle in

our chemically-charged environment. We are suffocated by our air quality, poisoned by our

water quality and eating foods laced with chemicals. It is high time we take personal ownership

of our health and well-being by making changes to our personal environment. You will never

look back and wonder what disease you didn’t get from the chemical products you threw out. A

look into the past at your family’s medical history might also reveal a legacy of medical issues

that are avoidable simply because of poor diet (passing down those family recipes) or

environment. If you make personal choices to live a healthy lifestyle, you could break the chains

or patterns of illness affecting your extended family and future generations.

What do you want from life? Do you want to live a full life? If you plan to live into your 70s or

80s, but are unwilling to make positive changes in what your body ingests, you may live long,

but your quality of life will be hampered with weakness, depression or riddled with

degenerative diseases because of a weakened immune system. Your health is your responsibility,

and there are constructive choices and actions you can make if you’re willing to learn a new

system. Many people simply want to pop a pill and make their pain or illness go away.

Remember pill popping for a quick-fix is not the answer; and in many cases pill popping will

just stifle your underlying health issue, giving the real cause of your poor health time to grow

and get worse inside you. In his book, How to Get Well, Paavo Airola, Ph.D., writes, “Cancer is a

disease of civilization. It is the end result of unhealthy living and eating environments, which

result in a biochemical imbalance and physical and chemical irritation of the body’s tissues.”

Ultimately, it is our environment and poor eating habits that have caused the epidemic of cancer

in our country. It’s time we take action to protect ourselves and our children from these

negative elements.


Chapter 2

A Weak Immune System -The Real Cause of Cancer

Eighty to ninety percent of all cancers are the direct result of our poor health choices. In the

book, A Cancer Battle Plan, Dave and Anne Frahm quote Patrick Quillin, Ph.D. who states,

“New estimates say that 90% of all cancer is environmentally caused and hence, preventable. A

conservative estimate states that 30-60% of all cancer is nutrition related. The U.S.A has 50%

more breast and colon cancer than any other area of the world and much of this dubious

distinction is caused by poor nutrition.”

Every person has cancer cells in their body, and we’ve all been exposed to negative

environmental and nutritional factors. However, it is when our immune system becomes

weakened that those cancerous cells have a chance to mutate and become life threatening. When

cancerous cells reproduce in a weakened immune system, they do not get a signal from the body

to stop. Instead, the cancerous cells invade healthy tissue and organs or form hard masses,

becoming deadly tumors. So basically, cancer is a symptom of your body’s degeneration. In her

book, The Conquest of Cancer, Dr. Virginia Livingston Wheeler writes, “Cancer is a disease of

the immune system, or more accurately a disease of a weak immune system. Your immunity

must drop to a have low level before cancer can grow. When it drops to an extremely low level,

the cancer cells start to spread. Your body has no defence against them, and what small defence

it has is not enough.”

Have you ever noticed a trend in newly diagnosed cancer patients? They will tell you they

became sick with something as simple as the common cold (weakened immune system) but that

they never got over it. Soon afterward, they were diagnosed with cancer. I am convinced that

nutritional therapy and natural healing methods treat the cause of cancer, not just the


Poor nutrition and environmental factors are believed to be the two major causes of cancer.

Securing a healthy immune system and maintaining that health is critical for the prevention and

treatment of the disease. Your immune system builds healthy cells and those healthy cells are

able to fight infection. Did you know cancer cannot survive in an alkaline PH balanced body,

and that cancer thrives in an acidic PH balanced body? Degenerative diseases such as cancer

can be reversed through nutritional therapy. You should not give up your fight against cancer

even after being told by a network of physicians that the situation is hopeless. God built an

amazing body with the ability to fight infection. Build your immune system, and you build your

health and livelihood back.

Dr. Quillin said 30-60% of all cancers are nutritional related. What if he’s right? Doesn’t it

make sense then to build up your body’s immune system with the right nutrients by eating fresh

organic foods, void of pesticides and chemical fertilizers? Foods your body can assimilate and

use? Food that is not overcooked or radiated with microwaves, leaving no nutritional value

whatsoever? Organically grown, fresh whole foods are the answer to battling deadly cancers

and other devastating degenerative diseases such as diabetes.


Over the past decade several natural food grocery chains have popped up in major and minor

cities across the USA. Whole food co-ops can be found in small-town America and many major

metropolitan cities. If access is limited because you live in an extremely rural area, take a

proactive stance and start a food buying co-op with several people in your community. You

simply call the wholesaler of organic fresh foods and ask them to send you a buying form. Once

your group places an order, it is shipped to your house and everyone comes to pick up their

orders. It’s simple. I operated a buying co-op from my garage two times each month and

because we ordered in bulk or cases, we saved more money than going directly through a store.

Call local farmers and ask if they grow organically. If they do, ask if you can buy direct. With

rising fuel prices and conglomerate farming systems, your local farmer is more than likely

getting the shift on his power to sell his products for little more than his/her price to produce.

You’ll find many local farmers willing to sell direct. Farmer’s markets are another great source

for finding fresh, whole foods. The point is the good stuff is out there if you’re willing to be

proactive with your family’s health.

Most natural food stores have staff specifically hired to educate you on the types of foods,

cosmetics, cleaners or skincare products. They will explain what to look for when replacing a

synthetic product with a fresh natural product.

Andrew’s immune system needed to be rebuilt. His sick cells needed proper vitamins, minerals

and proteins in order to become healthy enough to start fighting his disease from the inside out.

The basic steps to rebuilding your immune system are providing your body with vitamins,

minerals, proteins and pure water through high quality natural food supplements; eating raw,

organically grown whole foods; and supporting the liver through a good detoxification

program, which I’ll address later in this book.

There is no guarantee nutritional therapy is going to work. Just like there is no guarantee

conventional medicine, like chemo and radiation will work. But again, the question begs to be

asked, “What approach makes more sense and speaks truth to your heart?”

Each body is unique and each person’s situation is different. Success depends on many factors,

but the one factor that stands above the rest is your willingness as a cancer patient or parent of

a child with cancer to be disciplined and stay the course. You have options. You have something

constructive you can do to fight this ugly disease. Don’t allow those practicing conventional

medicine to call the shots, ordering chemo and radiation as if you have no other choice. And

remember, you pay their salaries; so act like it when you want or need something from your

medical community.

Over the years, I have been blessed to meet hundreds of people who have started nutritional

therapy and found success after conventional medicine practitioners had given up on them.

Sadly, I have also met many with irreversible organ damage from surgery, radiation and

chemo. Unfortunately, in some cases, vital organs are so damaged their cells were not as

responsive to nutritional therapy. Nutritional therapy not only enhances your overall health, it

makes your organs stronger to aid in the detoxification process.

Again, you have to ask yourself, “What makes sense?” Chemotherapy burns the body from the

inside out in hopes to destroy the cancer cells, but the chemo also destroys the body’s healthy

cells and puts vital organs such as your heart, kidneys and liver at risk. On the other hand,


nutritional therapy builds up the immune system creating strong cells with the ability to fight

cancerous cells. Visualize it! It’s a war between the bad-cell militia and the good-cell warriors.

The warriors have amazing power and tenacity, but you still have to give them the tools to fight.

Burning the good-cell warriors with chemo and killing them off in hopes to kill the bad-cell

militia is too risky. Worse yet, you destroy the warriors’ battlefield, favoring the bad guys.

Allow me to put it more bluntly. Chemo and radiation give cancer an edge to kill you sooner.

Chapter 3

Chemicals, Radiation and Scalpels, oh my!

Don’t worry. This is not a repeat of the last chapter, just an opportunity to give you some

insights and options available from professionals working in the field of natural health. I’ll mix

their insights with Andrew’s experience.

For people facing a cancer diagnoses; the key word above is “options.” When you are trying to

decide whether to pursue chemo, radiation and surgery or nutritional therapy, it’s important to

weigh in on the pros and cons of both treatment options, whether using them alone or

combined. For instance, the reoccurrence rate for fighting cancer with drugs and surgery is

50%. That means you could spend two hellish years battling cancer, sicker than sick and as bald

as a marble to await a coin toss. Many (50%) will hear these frightening words, “Your cancer

has returned.” More often than not, when cancer returns, the organ it chooses is vital such as

the brain or lungs and the cancer grows faster the second time around because the battlefield’s

destroyed, giving the militia an edge to regroup and amass more fighting power. I’ve seen it

happen too many times to unsuspecting people. Listen to the wise words of one expert, Dr.

Harold Harper, “The use of radiation or poison (chemotherapy) in the effort to get at the actual

malignant cells is the equivalent of turning a blow-torch on a wart.”

I’ve met many children hospitalized during Andrew’s stays. We saw firsthand how surgery

depletes one’s immune system by 50%. Doctors know this fact. Why else would they prescribe

intravenous antibiotics following surgery? It’s because the patient’s immune system is

traumatized from the invasiveness of scalpels, not to mention all the poking and prodding.

Hospitals are ripe with infectious diseases floating around every corner; so patients undergoing

surgical treatments must be protected, after all their immune system is now only 50%


However, surgery to remove a tumor can be beneficial in many cases. If I was diagnosed with a

tumor, I would seek medical advice to see if the tumor could be successfully removed. If so,

prior to surgery, I would focus on building up my immune system so I was not susceptible to

infection or diseases. After surgery, I would continue an aggressive nutritional therapy program

to build back my body’s strength to fight any remaining cancer cells. This option is a good

approach because once the tumor is removed; your immune system can focus on building

healthy cells rather than trying to expend energy battling the cancerous cells.

If my tumor was inoperable, I would accept the negative side effects of chemo for one to two

rounds only. This approached would stun the cancer just enough to slow its growth, but not


allow the chemo to completely annihilate my immune system. This option gives back valuable

time to build my immune system. Both options would give my body a head start.

In A Cancer Battle Plan, Dr. Kurt W. Donsbach is quoted, “There is a place, of course, for

surgery or careful and selective radiation or extremely careful use of chemotherapy at times

and in certain forms of extremely malignant and fulminating (explosive growth) cancers.” He

continues, “None of these modalities (surgery, radiation and chemo) are effective in restoring

health. They are merely suppressive and at times take the load off the natural immune system of

the body.” Cancer is not a disease as much as it is a symptom of a weakened and degenerating

body. If you are going to beat the disease, you must begin to reverse the degeneration process

through detoxification and nutritional therapy. Hippocrates Diet and Health Program author,

Ann Wigmore, states, “Food as our medicine usually affects the body much more slowly than

modern drugs, but in the end it can be safer and more thorough. It works by removing the

cause of the illness whereas most drugs merely relieve the outer symptoms.”

The bottom line is that drug therapy treats symptoms of cancer, not the causes, while

nutritional therapy treats the causes of cancer and the symptoms eventually disappear. Dr.

Harper questions in his book How You Can Beat the Killer Diseases, “What if cancer is a

systemic, chronic metabolic disease of which lumps and bumps constitute only symptoms? Will

this not mean that billions of dollars have been misspent and that the basic premise of which

cancer treatments and research are grounded are wrong?” The answer to the question is yes!

Dr. Harper continues, “In decades to come, a perplexed future generation will look back in

amazement on how current medicine approached cancer with a cobalt machine, a surgical knife

and the introduction of poisons into the system and wonder if such brutality really occurred.”

Today we look back on historical medical practices in shocked astonishment. Consider, for

instance, the case of our first president’s death. George Washington died at the hands of

physicians practicing the medical treatment of bloodletting. Bloodletting simply means to let the

body lose blood until the physician thinks the illness or disease has been drained from the body,

a sort of cleansing process. Washington died from a streptococcal infection of the throat and

since he was bled as part of the treatment, a combination of shock from the loss of blood and

dehydration was the real cause of death. Can you imagine your doctor today explaining that

bloodletting was the way to cure your sore throat? You’d think it was barbaric. Many years

from now, generations will look at the treatment options of chemo, radiation and scalpels to

treat cancer and think we were barbaric. Oh, but there’s more…allow your mind to be opened

as you read the following satirical piece written by natural healthcare advocate and educator

Mike Adams.

“With mandatory vaccines suddenly being forced onto parents by doctors and so-called "health

authorities" in places like Maryland, New Jersey and Texas, you might think that doctors being

full of sh^t is a new phenomenon. But no, it's nothing new. Doctors have been full of sh*t for more

than a hundred years! What follows is a short timeline of the nonsense, junk science, negligence

and harmful advice peddled by medical doctors over the last 150 years or so:


Ignaz Semmelweis, an Austrian-Hungarian obstetrician working in a clinic that delivers babies, is

labeled "insane" by his fellow doctors for having the audacity to suggest that doctors should wash


their hands between delivering babies. He's fired from his job, ostracized by the medical community

and later dies in an insane asylum and is only vindicated long after his death when it is realized

that, indeed, infections are spread from one patient to another by physicians who are too lazy,

stubborn or egotistic to simply wash their hands. (A lack of hand washing continues to be the

primary reason why MRSA and other superbugs are spread in hospitals today...)


Don't breastfeed your babies! Use infant formula instead. It's more "high-tech." Cow's milk is

obviously healthier for your babies than mother's milk, right? That's what the doc says... Result:

Tens of millions of mothers stopped breastfeeding their babies, resulting in widespread nutritional

deficiencies that impacted those children for life. The pushing of infant formula onto mothers

continues today in hospitals across the country which are paid by infant formula manufacturers to

give free samples of infant formula to new mothers, hoping they will stop breastfeeding and start

buying formula. (Saving grace: A few courageous pediatricians now speak out forcefully about the

importance of breastfeeding...)


Smoking while pregnant? No problem. Doctors recommend Camels more than any other cigarette!

Result: Massive chemical toxicity of the bodies of newborns. Increased cancer risk, reduced brain

development and a lifetime of immune system disorders. (Cigarette ads routinely appeared in the

Journal of the American Medical Association for well over a decade.)


Need a new pair of shoes for your kid? Go size 'em up with the fluoroscope X-ray machine at your

local shoe store! Never mind the radiation exposure of 20 - 75 rems per minute! Result: Massive

increase in cancer among parents and children who visited the shoe stores. Doctors remained silent

on this significant health risk for decades while millions were harmed -- even after strong evidence

pointed to the fact that X-ray radiation caused cancer.


Hey pregnant women, take thalidomide for your cancer! Don't worry about your unborn children.

This chemical is perfectly safe! Result: 10,000 children born with physical deformities. Doctors

continued to use infants and pregnant women in pharmaceutical experiments for the next fifty



Feed your children processed foods! White bread is good for them, don't you know? And

monosodium glutamate is perfectly healthy for children, which is why food companies add it to

baby food! So is saccharin, hydrogenated oils and sodium nitrite in processed meat. Result:

Massive malnutrition, liver damage, and the beginnings of the diabetes and obesity epidemics that

would sweep the nation over the next generation.



Place mercury into the mouths of your little children by having their cavities filled with "silver"

fillings (made with 40% mercury, a potent neurotoxin). Result: Widespread mercury toxicity in

children, resulting in a sharp increase in neurological conditions, including behavioral disorders,

infertility and autism. Ignorant, obstinate dentists continue to use mercury fillings today and the

American Dental Association remains in full support of this extremely dangerous heavy metal that

results in the mass poisoning of children.

Your kid have a cold? It's probably because their tonsils need to be removed! Tonsils have no

biological function anyway, doctors claimed. Result: Over the last several decades, surgeons have

removed tens of millions of tonsils, maiming children with a medically useless procedure that has

now been proven virtually worthless. But it sure did raise funds to pay for the luxury foreign sedans

driven by those surgeons!


Microwave all the food you feed children. It's quick, convenient and perfectly healthy! Result: A

massive increase in the consumption of processed, artificially modified and dead foods. The

introduction of the microwave correlates nearly perfectly with the explosion of obesity and diabetes

in western nations. Most doctors still have nothing negative to say about the use of the microwave.

Does your child have an ear infection? Hammer them with antibiotics. Don't worry about the fact

that antibiotics are useless against ear infections, or that they wipe out your child's friendly

intestinal flora and cause nutritional deficiencies. It's doctor-recommended, so it must be good,

right? Result: Billions of doses of useless antibiotics helped breed a new generation of superbug

viruses that have now escaped the hospitals and are infecting the public at large. Antibiotics are

useless to stop them, and doctors still have not figured out that you can kill superbugs with

colloidal silver or garlic. (A fact that ancient human civilizations knew thousands of years ago...)


Coat your children with sunscreen. The sun is dangerous and has no health benefits whatsoever,

didn't you know? And besides, all those chemicals in sunscreen are perfectly safe. Result: Children

are now living with severe vitamin D deficiencies (even rickets!) that greatly increase rates of breast

cancer, prostate cancer, osteoporosis, depression, obesity and diabetes. Doctors still don't recognize

the important role of vitamin D in children's health, and they prescribe drugs to treat the symptoms

of disease rather than recommending vitamin D (which would correct the underlying problems and

eliminate the need for pharmaceuticals).

Does your baby have a cough? Feed 'em sugared-up, chemically-contaminated cough syrup made

by pharmaceutical companies. Don't worry that it's never been tested on infants or approved by the

FDA. It works, right? It's doctor-recommended! Result: Over a billion doses of useless, "quack"

cough medicine swallowed by infants. The cough syrup hoax was finally blown wide open in 2007

when a few courageous pediatric physicians finally admitted the products have absolutely no

medicinal effects and might, in fact, be dangerous for infants and children. The FDA continues to

allow their sale, however, since they're still quite profitable to Big Pharma (even though they don't


Is little Johnny a bit too jazzed up for your comfort level? Don't worry, psychiatrists have a

solution: Street drugs for children! Illegal amphetamines are now legal thanks to the Big Pharma /


FDA partnership and your friendly psych doctor is ready to prescribe Ritalin and antidepressant

drugs to your "hyperactive" kids. Result: Widespread school shootings in America. Tens of

millions of children suffer stunted physical and mental development -- a dangerous side effect that

doesn't emerge until 2007.”


Too posh to push? Don't worry, your obstetrician will schedule a C-section childbirth appointment

and deliver the baby on YOUR schedule instead of Mother Nature's. It's more convenient for him,

too, because then he can still make his golf game. Don't worry about the baby: There's no benefit

to vaginal childbirth anyway, right? What better way to welcome your child to the world than with a

scalpel! Result: Millions of women subject their children to non-natural child birthing resulting in

an increased risk of lung disease afflictions as well as psychological birthing trauma lasting a


Worried about your child getting an infectious disease? Inject your children with multiple vaccines.

It will protect them from infectious disease and may, in fact, protect them from oral sex! (At least

that's what Merck claims.) Besides, there's nothing wrong with a little mercury, right? Result:

Unknown. It's a great medical experiment now being conducted on the children of America. It's

backed by idiot doctors and gun-toting law enforcement personnel who are ready to arrest parents

who resist the vaccination mandates. (Autism is now considered a result of poor quality

vaccinations….stay tuned)

Need some food for your baby? Buy Similac (or any other baby formula powder). It's made with

42.6% corn syrup solids and 10.1% sugar, making it over 50% refined sugars! Marketed with a

cuddly teddy bear on the front label and sporting the claim, "Balanced nutrition for older babies,"

Similac and other infant formula products are little more than sugar water for babies. Doctors and

pediatricians remain silent. There is no outcry. No national scandal. No action by the FDA to

protect babies. Some doctors even recommend this stuff! (And stupid parents keep buying it!)


A survey of 1,600 practicing physicians published in the Annals of Internal Medicine reveals that

nearly half of all doctors failed to report an incompetent colleague who posed a risk to the health or

safety of a patient. The same survey also revealed that a majority of doctors would send their

patients to get expensive imaging work done at an imaging facility in which they held a financial

interest, but only 24 percent of doctors said they would reveal that conflict of interest to patients.

Result: Yet more incompetent, dishonest doctors continue to scam customers and harm patients.

The scourge of modern medicine continues as corrupt, ignorant and downright incompetent

doctors continue to harm millions of expectant mothers, infants, babies and children with their

deadly Big Pharma chemicals and disastrous health advice. The reputation of doctors plummets in

the minds of the American public, and most patients now turn to the Internet to find answers that

their doctors either don't know or refuse to tell them. The mass exodus of patients away from

conventional medicine is now well underway...

Why doctors are still idiots


When it comes to medical idiocy, these examples are just the tip of the iceberg. The same hopelessly

outdated medical system that has given us cigarette-promoting doctors, breastfeeding-censoring

doctors and superbug-breeding doctors is now claiming your children need yet more chemicals in

their bodies in the form of vaccinations!

And, by the way, these doctors are the only people in the world who are right. They'll tell you so

themselves! They are the sole source of all knowledge on anything related to health and medicine,

and they've now garnered enough political power that they've managed to criminalize parents who

disagree with their medical dogma.

You know what the difference is between God and doctors?

God doesn't think he's a doctor.

These days, instead of doctors simply being full of sh+t, they are suddenly a very real danger to

your personal freedom. Before, they were just peddling health nonsense. Now they hold the keys to

your freedom and the custody of your children. Refuse to go along with new mandatory vaccination

programs in New Jersey, for example, and you can be arrested, imprisoned, charged with a crime

and have your children kidnapped by Child Protective Services. How dare you disagree with the

High Priests of medical dogma!

Personally, I don't necessarily mind doctors being full of sh*t. It's amusing to watch, and hilarious

to document, but I do mind doctors being full of sh^t while invoking law enforcement authorities to

pull out a Glock, slap a 10-round magazine in the grip, point the barrel to the head of a mother of

three children and demand, "Take OUR medicine, or you'll be arrested." Which is, of course,

essentially what's happening in New Jersey and Maryland right now. It's called Gunpoint

Medicine, and if you don't believe me, move to New Jersey, and refuse to have your children

vaccinated. It won't be long before armed men show up at your front door with Child Protective

Services standing behind them, ready to grab your kid, toss him into an unmarked van, and have

you arrested for "resisting vaccination." This is not fiction. I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.

It takes truly evil people to dream up this kind of medical terrorism -- the very people who work for

Big Pharma and the FDA.

Or maybe I'm wrong about all this. Maybe doctors and health authorities have been full of sh!t for

a hundred years, and now all of a sudden in 2007, they're instantly right! Maybe they've been

visited by supernatural, omniscient beings who gave them perfect knowledge (along with a new

Merck vaccine) and all they're doing is running around the country saving little children's lives for

the good of humanity.

Perhaps 2007 (and beyond) is the new Golden Age of children's health, to be initiated with a mass

injection of kiddies with a dozen new toxic mercury injections to "protect" these kids from things

that will probably never happen to them. Maybe now, in 2007, organized medicine has reversed all

its years of bullsh*t and finally found the light! And that light, we're told, comes in the form of a

pill... or a vaccine... or chemotherapy... or whatever they tell you to take next.

Yes, indeed! We've been saved by Big Pharma and a brigade of doctors! Hail the FDA! Praise the

pharmaceutical giants! Give thanks for mandatory injections! Listen to the doctors and we'll all be



Quick Note: This satire piece does not mean to imply that ALL doctors are complete idiots when it

comes to health. There are exceptions. Many of the outstanding people I know in natural health

started as conventional medical doctors (M.D.s). The difference between complete idiot doctors and

intelligent doctors is that idiots are not willing to abandon their existing dogmatic beliefs when

faced with new, contradictory evidence. Intelligent people, on the other hand, adapt and evolve

their ideas when faced with new information or evidence.

Conventional medicine, for the most part, does not want to learn anything new that might

challenge its existing status quo dominance over the lives of parents and children. "Innovation is

the enemy of the status quo," and genuine health enhancement (and disease prevention) is the

enemy of the entrenched medical industrial complex. Most doctors are complete idiots because they

follow a dogmatic, religious-like belief in blatantly outdated junk medical science, even when real

world observations and evidence demands the embracing of ideas that overthrow previously

protected beliefs and career egos.

Until doctors can abandon their egos and admit they don't know everything, they will continue to

be full of sht..”

How was that for a healthy satirical dose of reality into historical practices of medicine? Mike’s

humor is enjoyed or it may be offensive to some, but the fact remains, we have been listening to

man’s wisdom when it comes to the care of our health and our children’s health. It’s time to

raise your awareness! It’s time to take a stand for your own healthcare. My hope for the future

of nutritional healthcare in America is that we will strive to bridge the gap between drug

therapy and nutritional therapy. Drug therapy does have its benefits and tangible purposes,

especially for pain management of trauma wounds or emergency medical care. If I’m in a

serious car accident, I hope the local ER has some good pain management drugs. If my arm is

severed, I hope surgery will restore it.

Additionally, natural therapy and quality 100% natural supplements should be covered by all

health insurance plans. Due to the decline of nutrient in our foods because of over-processing,

steroids and/or chemical enhancers, supplements are essential immune boosters for fighting

disease and maintaining good health. Contact your local politicians and tell them to start

fighting for your rights to be insured properly with coverage that offers a more well-rounded

treatment program, which includes nutritional therapy.

When we began Andrew’s nutritional treatment program, there were no terrible side effects. No

vomiting. No sores bleeding internally. No aches, pains and fevers. There were only benefits to

his nutritional therapy such as less stress; improved quality of life; and a happy, playful,

blonde-haired little boy. All cancer patients should experience Andrew’s experience. Raise your

awareness! Question everything! Contact the government’s high powers and demand change!

The only way to make a real change is… to make a real change...otherwise, you’re just buying

time. Big problems need big changes...not parametrical changes, but paradigmatic changes. You

have to change the system, in other words, not just the details. Demand real change! Become the

difference-maker that God designed you to be!

Chapter 4


Detoxification – Cleansing from the Inside Out

When preparing to treat degenerative disease, you need to cleanse and detoxify your vital

organs, particularly your liver and colon. Detoxification of your body is critical when trying to

build the immune system because the less toxins or waste your body has to expel the more

energy your immune system can put into ridding your body of sick cells which are causing the

illness. Our liver has a very important detoxification function because the liver aids in the

digestion and assimilation of nutrients from the foods we eat. The liver is also a filtering system

for harmful substances. Harold Manner, Ph.D., professor of biology at Loyola University in

Chicago, says, “Where there is cancer, it is a sure bet that it was preceded by a poorly

functioning liver. It is one of the body’s chief organs for the elimination and conversion of toxic

substances. The livers of cancer patients become clogged with many of the poisons that they

were meant to eliminate. Cancer can be reversed or controlled only if we regenerate the liver.

Fortunately for us, the liver is the one organ in the body that is capable of regenerating itself.

We must immediately institute a program of purification.”

One simple way to start regular liver detoxification support is to drink warm fresh lemon water

in the morning. A full body detoxification program starts with a juice fast combined with

cleansing enemas. The internet has millions of websites with various cleansing plans. Research

which plan works best for your schedule and your body’s needs, but remember it is vital to use

all natural products and foods. Andrew’s program consisted of organic fresh juices, and

because this was his only diet initially, the 100% fresh juices acted like pure prune juice

cleansing his bowels. Once the body is detoxified and cleansed, the body will rightfully use its

energy to process good nutrients from fresh foods and supplements, which begins the healing


Coffee enemas, lemon juice enemas and water purge enemas are just a few of the many liver

detoxification diets. In Healthy Healing Linda Rector-Page, Ph.D., says, “Coffee enemas have

become standard in natural healing when liver and blood-related cancers are present. Caffeine

used in this way stimulates the liver and gallbladder to remove toxins, open the bile ducts and

encourages increased peristaltic action (the waves of involuntary muscle contractions that

transport food, waste matter, or other contents through a tube-shaped organ such as the

intestine). It also produces the necessary enzyme activity for healthy red blood cell formation

and oxygen uptake.”

Anyone can perform rectal enemas on themselves in the comfort and privacy of their own home.

I used an enema kit found at our local drug store for under $6. In her book, A Cancer Battle

Plan, Anne Frahm outlines a two week detoxification program, which I followed for seven days

after we returned from Arizona. My detoxification program matched Anne’s description of

feeling sluggish for three to four days as my body expended energy to rid toxins. By the seventh

day, I felt radiant, clear-minded and energized. I even lost some unwanted weight!

Dr. Paavo Airola writes in How To Get Well, “During a fast, a huge amount of morbid matter,

dead cells and diseased tissue are burned and the toxic wastes which have been accumulated in

the tissue for years causing diseases and premature aging are loosened and expelled from the

system. These wastes are eliminated from the system by way of the kidney, bowels, skin and

lungs, but the eliminatory canal, the bowel, is the main route by which the toxins are thrown out

of the body. Since, during fasting, the natural bowel movements cease to take place, the toxic


waste would have no way to leave the system except with the help of enemas.” Airola continues,

“If you fast without enemas, these toxins remain in the system and are reabsorbed into the

system, poisoning the whole body. Your body will try to get them out by other eliminative

organs, particularly through the kidneys which will often be overloaded and even damaged.”

The type of fasting we found to be most effective was the juice fast complimented with

coffee/water enemas. This duel process supports an intense detoxification program and readies

the body for healing. I highly encourage you to educate yourself on the subject of detoxification

and fasting and the benefits, especially if you’re dealing with a deadly health issue like cancer.

Chapter 5

Graze on this:

Your Body’s Not a Cemetery for Dead Animals

When people ask what we removed from our diet as a result of Andrew’s nutritional treatment,

I say meats and everything white: white sugar, white flour, dairy, and idolized salt. When they

ask, “What do you eat?” My response shocks them when I say, “Pizza, pastas, tacos, hot-dishes

and stir-fries…” because they assume we eat mainly tofu dishes or raw beans and lentils. Truth

be told, in the 21st century whole, organic fresh foods have been on the rise and new and fun

ways to create fun, appetizing dishes is easier than ever before thanks to people’s awareness

that natural foods are better for you than over-processed, boxed, synthetic foods. Just look at

the increase of disease and obesity in the US only. Major players in the cause of our epidemic

healthcare crises have to do with the fake foods and products we allow on and into our bodies.

Sometimes I just want to scream, “Wake up America! You’re killing yourself!”

We eat the same foods, minus the SAD (Standard American Diet) diet most Americans

consume. Beware: the SAD is filled with preservatives, pesticides, additives, dyes and many

more unknown chemicals. The change we made is in the ingredients; natural ingredients verses

unnatural ingredients. Learning the rules and recipes of following an organic diet was

overwhelming at first, but the adjustments had to be made to build Andrew’s immune system.

Surprisingly, once I threw out everything unnatural in my pantry and we changed course to

include only organic, natural foods, we quickly learned the foods tasted better; and we were less

hungry because our bodies were more satisfied. (Free weight loss program, anyone?)

Break the chains of the poor SAD and offer your children and grandchildren a quality diet void

of enhanced, over-processed foods. Most SAD foods offered at your local grocery store chain

have no right to even be called food. With organic, farm-fresh foods, your children will learn

good eating habits and your family’s health will improve drastically.

For the cancer patient, eliminate the cow’s meat and dairy. I know what you’re thinking, “How

will I get my much needed calcium?” Let me answer that with a question. How do cows get the

calcium, which in turn is put into your milk products? The answer is cows eat leafy greens! In

fact, we can get all the protein and calcium we need from fresh fruits and vegetables as well as

raw nuts. Few of us are taught that our bodies build their own protein from the foods we eat,


whether it’s animal protein or plants. Your body breaks protein down into amino acids, which

produce human protein. In other words, you don’t automatically get usable protein by eating

beef. It all depends on how easy the food can be broken down into amino acid components. In A

Cancer Battle Plan, Dave & Anne Frahm state, “If you eat any fruits or vegetables, nuts or

sprouts on a regular basis, you are receiving all the amino acids necessary for your body to

build the protein it needs.”

Specifically, foods that contain all eight essential amino acids include bananas, beans, brussel

sprouts, cabbage, carrots, cauliflower, corn, cucumbers, nuts, peas, potatoes, sesame seeds,

sunflowers seeds, sweet potatoes and tomatoes. So you can see there is no shortage of foods

offering a good source of protein. Vegetarians are often told their diet does not offer enough

protein, so we also found and used a soy-based protein supplement powder containing all eight

essential amino acids.

If you find yourself reluctant to switch to a vegetarian diet while battling a deadly disease

consider the following facts:

Pigs don’t sweat. The reason pigs meat (pork) tastes so salty is because all their sweat (toxins)

are stored in their body. The taste of pork products comes from the toxins never cleansed from

their system from birth to death. Stale, putrid pig sweat built up over a lifetime. Here’s another:

just as your liver is a major blood detoxifying organ, a lamb or cow liver also detoxifies their

blood. What has gone through that piece of meat now fully cooked on your plate? Today, most

of our meat products come from animals that have been bulked up on steroids, antibiotics and

hormone enhancers, which eventually are all passed along to us. To put it bluntly, your body is

not a cemetery for dead animals. And the energy your body expends to digest and expel meats

takes away from the energy your body should be using to build healthy fighting cells.

The human body is obviously very adaptable, but cow’s milk was not designed for human

consumption. It’s for baby cows only. Harvey and Marilyn Diamond report that “over 98% of

the American population is lactose intolerant.” Sadly, Osteoporosis patients have been

programmed into thinking they need more calcium, and so they consume more milk, cheese and

other forms of dairy. Ironically, they are actually draining calcium from their bodies with this

approach. Milk and cheeses turn extremely acidic in our bodies. To neutralize this acidity, our

body has to alkalize the acid by leeching calcium from our bones! Did you know cancer cannot

live in an alkaline body, but it thrives in an acidic body?

Got Milk? equals Got Acid!…equals Got Osteoporosis! People diagnosed with osteoporosis are

people with a high dairy content in their diet. Milk, cheese, ice cream, sour cream, etc… More

than likely, they’re also people who suffer from kidney stones too because dairy from cows clog

your kidney functions creating little stones known for generously causing thousands extreme

pain. High dairy means your body has to compensate by stripping the calcium from your bones

making your bones thinner and vulnerable to fractures. Did I also mention meat and daily both

expend more energy for your body to digest, taking away your body’s energy to work on

healing itself?

Dale and Kathy Martin, authors of the book, Living Well, remark that the fat in meat and dairy

products is the most likely storage facility of pollutants from our environment. As we eat

upward on the former food chain from root vegetables to grains, fruits, leafy greens, vegetable


oils and fats, the concentration of pesticides and chemical pollutants gradually increase. Oh joy!

Better yet, dairy products give us a 250% increase of pollutant concentration over leafy

vegetables and a 1500% increase over eating root vegetables. With the consumption of red

meats, fish and poultry, the percentages already cited double. Fat is the storage place of all the

production chemicals such a steroids put into animals to make them grow bigger and faster. By

eating their meat, we ingest concentrated amounts of hormones, antibiotics and other agents

harmful to our immune system. And the fat our bodies produce from meat and dairy products

is bad fat.

Raw sesame seeds are a great source of calcium. We sprinkle them on our salads. Leafy greens,

prunes and dates are other great sources of calcium. An 8 oz. glass of fresh carrot, apple and

spinach juice is another great source of calcium and betacarotene. As mentioned early, raw nuts

are also a great source of calcium, but they should be eaten in moderation for the patient

battling a deadly disease because the nuts expend a lot of energy to digest. Wait until your

health status has turned around before consuming nuts solely for your protein source.

As you may recall, when he was diagnosed, Andrew’s diet was very poor. His staple was mainly

dairy foods from cows, which is mucous-forming. Did you know cancer feeds on mucous? You

know, that thick taste and feeling you get in the back of your throat after eating a bowl of ice

cream? Yes, that mucous feeds cancer because your body has to work harder than ever to

digest; so it weakens your immune system, allowing cancerous cells an opportunity to mutate.

Dairy feeds cancer. I was mortified to discover we had actually been feeding his cancer, allowing

the evil mass to grow and attack other organs.

When we completely eliminated dairy from Andrew’s bottle we introduced the fresh, organic

carrot/apple juice. We weaned him into the new taste by juicing more apple than carrot and

sometimes even adding a small slice of lemon. Eventually, we were able to juice more carrots

than apples and by the grace of God Andrew loved each step along the way. Sometimes he

would beg me to make more juice, drinking 6-8 bottles a day. My attitude was, “The more the


Nutritionist Anne Wigmore wrote, “Nature’s plan called for food enzymes to help with digestion

instead of forcing the body’s own digestive enzymes to carry the whole load.” After a good

detoxification program the liver needs a break. To take the workload off the liver, we fed

Andrew foods with live enzymes. Plant and animals foods both have enzymes in their natural

state, but when food is cooked, the enzymes are lost. Heat destroys enzymes at 107 degrees

fahrenheit. In the Frahm’s book, Dave illustrates, “Suppose that tomorrow morning you were

to go out to your car only to find someone had walked off with your spark plugs. Without them

your car is dead, right? Enzymes do for your body what spark plugs do for your car. Without

them nothing else can happen.” Nutritionist, Marie Salaman, agrees and calls enzymes

“catalysts.” Dr. Mary Swope referred to enzymes as ‘a life force’ in maintaining health and

healing. Dave Frahm writes, “Enzymes supply the energy for all the biochemical reactions upon

which life is built, including the digestion of food. Our bodies have digestive enzymes, and they

are activated by the liver. The impact of a poorly functioning liver upon the entire body is

obvious. Reduced enzyme activity leads to poor digestion, which leads to undernourished cells;

and in this state, the body’s immune system falters. Organs begin to become dysfunctional, and

disease is imminent.”


In 1995 I attended a health seminar hosted by the Mayo Clinic. One physician really stood out

when he said, “People, we are eating dead food, and that’s why we’re dying of degenerative

diseases.” In our country, more than 90% of the enzymes in milk are destroyed by

pasteurization. About 65% of the foods offered in our grocery stores are processed or refined,

so their enzymes are destroyed. By the time whole-grain rice is processed into quick-cooking

“instant” rice, it loses 75% of its nutrients. We really are eating dead, worthless food in the

USA, and that’s why I call it the SAD diet. Remember, in the beginning…we were placed in a

garden, not a fast-food restaurant.

In addition to the dead food we eat, our so-called fresh fruits and vegetables in the basic grocery

store have been sprayed with chemicals and pesticides. It’s impossible to remove the chemicals

by washing your fruits and veggies because like your skin absorbs skincare products, foods

grown in soil absorb the pesticide chemicals making them internally enhanced. No matter how

hard you scrub your produce, the chemicals will never be cleansed from the inside. The drugs

are now part of the food. In my own research and education, I learned that by the time a carrot

is put on the shelf in the supermarket it has been sprayed on average at least 14 times with

pesticides. Yikes! Maybe instead of calling them just carrots, they should be called chemicallycreated


Max Gerson, M.D. wrote in A Cancer Therapy, “The coming years will make it more and more

important that organically grown fruit and vegetables will be and must be used for protection

against degenerative diseases, the prevention of cancer and moreso, the treatment of cancer.”

Can you not see? It is the way we eat that is causing a significant rise in cancer and other

degenerative diseases. Americans have never been more stressed with rising gas and food prices,

rising unemployment, layoffs, and foreclosures; hence, our bodies are under great stress. If we

fail to give our immune system the proper nutrition it needs, we will continue to see more and

more illness in the future. Consider a diet of whole, organic foods. Learn the value of building

your health through what you eat. Organic foods have not been sprayed with pesticides and

fertilizers. Whole foods are uncooked foods which hold their live enzymes and nutrients.

Overcooked foods have lost their life-sustaining value.

When cooking foods, it is best to use glass or stainless steel cookware. Aluminium and Tefloncoated

cookware should never be used because these elements can leech into your food, and over

time, your body will absorb dangerous trace-levels. One cookbook I often recommend for

getting started is Lifestyle for Health, Smart Cooking for Busy People, by Cheryl Townsely.

Needing to feed eight people, I became obsessed with healthy eating cookbooks. Cheryl’s book is

a great starting point. She lists strategies, recipes and a menu calendar. For example, she gives a

list of menu items to buy for meals in the month of May. The recipes are easy and quick and

your family will love the meals. Cheryl has other cookbooks too, including one for children.

Each recipe offers brand name products to purchase, which helps when shopping.

Making the choice to become vegans (no meats, no dairy and no sugars) after educating

ourselves was easy. Danny Vierra has a ministry called Modern Manna. He is passionate about

educating others to follow a vegan diet for abundant living. Modern Manna has a great website

full of resources and information.

Getting our six children to cooperate with our new diet was difficult at first, but we stood our

ground and like discipline, we knew we had to be consistent in our message. They understood


very quickly that what was offered to eat was the only choice. We used words like, “This is the

plan” and “You need to obey” when we taught them respect and obedience, so we simply

incorporated those same consistent words into our new diet program. When they asked why

they couldn’t eat fried foods, fast foods and candies like their friends, we simply stated, “That is

not part of our diet.” Our older children understood why we were changing our diet. They knew

we had to support Andrew as a family and not single him out. Because they were old enough to

understand, we explained the specifics of why we were doing what we were doing. They

understood the ill-effects of meat and dairy on our bodies and the need for fresh organic foods.

At first they were less than thrilled to only be eating fruits and raw vegetables, but over time

they adjusted. It was a process that took a lot of patience and diligence. Don’t expect drastic

changes overnight, and be prepared for rebellious attitudes. Eventually we incorporated cooked

foods like pastas and pizzas, but the ingredients were natural or soy-based.

Good fat is essential for your diet and can be found in fresh whole foods. Bad fats are

carcinogenic and cancer-causing. Fats that have been heat-processed, such as in fried foods are

highly carcinogenetic. Hydrogenated fats have been heat processed. Cooking oils should be

unrefined and cold-pressed. Extra virgin olive oil is an example of a good fat along with

avocados. Anne Frahm suggests an alternative for butter, which is made by mixing one cup

canola oil with two sticks of real butter in a blender. Keep it refrigerated and use sparingly.

Another significant factor in the diet of a cancer patient is fiber. Fiber is found in whole grains,

fruits and vegetables. Cancer patients should consume whole grain breads, not wheat bread.

Fiber is important for the body’s colon function and detoxification, and it is essential for

fighting cancer. Fiber helps clear the colon, aiding the body to remove toxins. Fiber aids the

growth of friendly intestinal bacteria and helps with absorption and assimilation of the

nutrients we supply through a nutritional therapy program. We purchased daily fiber mix for

Andrew and added the powder to everything he eat and drank. We mixed the fiber supplement

into his juice bottles, on his whole grain toast and sprinkled it over a hotdish or cereal when we


We also included a green drink powder into Andrew’s diet. We found Kyo-green to be the best

tasting product offered. The ingredients in Kyo-green are wheatgrass, young barley leaves, kelp,

blue-green algae, chlorophyll, and brown rice. Kyo-green is a great blood builder, oxygenator

and free radical scavenger. Remember the bad militia cells verses the good warrior cells? Kyogreen

attacks the militia.

We have talked to many, many people across the country who heard about our nutritional

therapy program to help Andrew. All those who have made the changes we made have seen the

same dramatic results in the quality of their lives. Not only do they feel better emotionally and

physically, but mentally too. Do you want to feel more alert, more alive? Remember, your

body’s not a cemetery for dead animals. With determination, cancer patients and their families

can confidently embrace hope for abundant living with nutritional therapy’s whole foods diet.

Chapter 6

Essential Supplements, including Andrew’s Program


Unfortunately, in today’s over-processed market we cannot get all the nutrients we need from

our foods, plus we are bombarded daily with toxins in our air and water. Poor air, soil and

water quality lead to poor food quality. And no matter how nutritionally conscious we become,

we still would be unable to get all the required nutrients needed to fight our tarnished

environment and fight a deadly disease. Including pure 100% natural supplements into a

nutritional program will help build the body’s immune system. But don’t be fooled by the name,

check the labels of what you buy. Natural food supplements are made from pure, organic foods

that are cold-pressed and concentrated into a tablet or capsule form.

A simple, free test to check if your current ‘natural’ supplements are 100% pure is to bake the

supplements at 200 degrees for about 1-1 1/2 hours. If the supplements come out looking like

overcooked vegetables, more than likely your products are 100% pure. If the supplements come

out of the oven with a black tar-like substance oozing from them, more than likely the

supplements are not pure. In fact, they probably were made with synthetic ingredients, causing

your immune system to work harder to digest and assimilate. Do the bake test to make sure

your money is spent on quality supplements.

Vitamins are an essential part of the body's metabolic processes, playing a vital role in its

enzyme systems. Deficiencies in any of these essential nutrients can have serious implications on

our health; so to maintain optimum health, we need to ensure that our bodies always have an

adequate supply of these important substances. Because the body is unable to manufacture most

vitamins by itself, we need to ingest them from outside sources. Ideally, we should obtain these

vitamins from consuming a healthy diet consisting of a wide variety of foods. But modern life

has conspired to interfere with the quality of foods available to us today.

A good fiber mix and the Kyo-green products are just a few of the food supplements we used in

Andrew’s protocol. The following is a list of the other supplements we used and their many


Betacarotene, also known as vitamin A in a natural form, was the most important supplement

we used. Betacarotene is a powerful antioxidant making it able to combat free radical cancercausing

cells. Betacarotene is turned into vitamin A natural and only used as needed by the

liver. I should note here that high doses of Vitamin A can be deadly in a synthetic form so make

sure you’re only getting your vitamin A from betacarotene. Organic carrot juice is high in

betacarotene. This powerful supplement, in its natural form, is a very effective agent in

stimulating the immune system to protect the body. It is fat soluble, and unlike synthetic

vitamin A, betacarotene does not reach toxic levels in the body because your liver converts it

into vitamin A only if needed. In his book, How to Fight Cancer and Win, William Fisher notes

the beneficial qualities of betacarotene, “As both a preventative and an active cancer treatment,

betacarotene has been shown to effectively destroy the cancer cells’ protective layering of

mucous, opening the cancer to the body’s natural defense mechanism. Proponents of

betacarotene predict a reduction in the rate of certain forms of cancer for those who regularly

include (organic) carrots in their diet. (Up to 80% of cancer in the lungs and bronchia and up to

55% of the cancer in the colon.)” Betacarotene is also needed for maintenance of skin, mucous

membranes, bones, teeth, hair, vision and reproduction. Food sources of betacarotene/ natural

vitamin A include: green leafy vegetables, melon, squash, yams, tomatoes, and fish-liver oils.


B-Complex is helpful for healing hearts and to stimulate the immune system. B-complex inhibits

the growth of tumors and cancer cells. It is water soluble and is the first nutrient to be used up

when your body is under stress. A cancer patient may not be stressed on the outside, but their

body is raging with stress on the inside. So incidentally, B-complex is called “The Happy

Vitamin” because it regulates your blood sugar, making it a great supplement for PMS,

depression and migraine headaches. Needed for nervous system function, B-complex helps

release energy from carbohydrates. Food sources include Brewer's yeast, wheat germ, bran,

whole-grain cereals, seeds and nuts, beans and leafy green vegetables. A complete B-complex

supplement includes the following:

B2 (riboflavin) helps release energy from foods and is essential for healthy eyes, skin,

nails and hair. Food sources include whole grains, brewer's yeast, torula yeast, wheat

germ, almonds, sunflower seeds and cooked leafy vegetables.

Niacin (B3) is needed for nervous and digestive system functions and is essential for

protein and carb metabolism. Food sources include Brewer's / torula yeasts, wheat

germ, rice bran, nuts, sunflower seeds, brown rice and green vegetables.

B6 (pyridoxine) is needed for metabolism; helps form red blood cells. Important for

normal reproductive processes and healthy pregnancies. Food sources include Brewer's

yeast, bananas, avocado, wheat germ/bran, soybeans, blackstrap molasses and

cantaloupe. Pecans are especially rich.

B12 (cobalamin) helps form red blood cells and prevents anemia. B12 promotes growth

in children. Food sources include fortified brewer's yeast, sunflower seeds, comfrey

leaves, kelp, bananas, peanuts and raw wheat germ.

Folic acid is essential for the formation of red blood cells, the healing process, and aids

in the metabolism of proteins and contributes to normal growth. Food sources include

deep green leafy vegetables, lima beans, spinach, nuts, broccoli and brewer's yeast.

Pantothenic acid affects all vital body functions and wards off infections and speeds

recovery from illnesses. Royal jelly, whole-grain breads/cereals, green vegetables,

peanuts, crude molasses.

Biotin prevents hair loss and is involved in metabolism of proteins and fats. It is also

used in malaria treatments. Food sources include Brewer's yeast, soybeans, unpolished


Vitamin C is a very important supplement in fighting cancer. In fact, the absence of Vitamin C

puts you at risk for developing cancer. Dave and Anne Frahm call it “the big gun” because it

inhibits cancer and is one of the most potent antioxidants known. Patrick Quillin concluded,

“vitamin C stimulates the immune system to attack newly sprouted abnormal cells, it is a free

radical scavenger, mopping up free radicals to prevent destruction of the DNA. It stimulates the

production of interferon, a potent anti-cancer agent in the body. It blocks the formation of

carcinogenic nitrosamines in the stomach.” Linus Pauling, Ph.D., who has spent years

researching vitamin C and its effects says, “With the properties of vitamin C for fighting cancer,

we could cut the death rate by 70%. This would be 70% of 650,000 (the numbers are even

higher today) people who die every year of cancer.” A high intake of natural vitamin C is

beneficial for all cancer patients. Vitamin C is necessary for healthy teeth, gums and bones. It is

also essential for proper functioning of adrenal and thyroid glands. It is also a general

detoxifier. Food sources include all fresh fruits and vegetables. Additional rich sources also


include rose hips, citrus, strawberries, apples, guavas, cabbage, tomatoes, turnip greens and

green bell peppers.

Vitamin E, like vitamin A, is fat soluble. When used with the trace mineral selenium, the anticancer

properties of vitamin E are enhanced. And like vitamin C, vitamin E hinders the

production of cancer-causing compounds in the stomach and the intestines. Vitamin E is an

antioxidant that hunts down the free radicals and destroys them. Note that vitamin E should be

gradually introduced into the body, staring on low doses initially. Selenium has other important

properties that aid in cancer treatment. It has a close metabolic interrelationship with vitamin E

as it prevents the damage to hemoglobins, and it also protects from toxic damage by mercury

poisoning. As stated in A Cancer Battle Plan, “At high levels it is directly toxic to cancer cells. It

retards the tumors in breast tissue and can deactivate radiation toxicity in the body. It works to

clean the body from the effects of chemotherapy and liver malfunction. It is a potent stimulant

to the immune system. It is a powerful trace mineral. Selenium should be taken under the

supervision of a health professional. It is very important to make sure other trace minerals are

included in your diet as well.” Andrew would get calcium magnesium and zinc through his daily

food supplement program. Vitamin E helps form red blood cells and prevents oxidation

damage. Food sources include raw or sprouted seeds, nuts and grains, plus green leafy

vegetables and cold pressed olive oil.

Garlic is a powerful food and was a major part of Andrew’s protocol. At times he even smelled

like garlic. This powerhouse antioxidant stimulates the immune system’s functions and also

plays a role in the prevention of heart disease by reducing serum cholesterol and high blood


Alfalfa is an anti-inflammatory and supports detoxification. Alfalfa has many great qualities. It

cleanses, making it a good remedy for hay fever allergies when taken with vitamin C daily. We

used alfalfa along with a natural herbal laxative to help Andrew’s body cleanse itself.

EPA or eicosapentaenoic acid is beneficial to cancer patients because it actually protects against

cancer. This is more commonly known as fish oil. It is a form of fat, but a good fat for your

body. We did not use this initially in Andrew’s protocol because I simply did not know about it

the first few years, but we added EPA once we knew of its health benefits.

As mentioned earlier, we should obtain these vitamins by consuming a healthy whole foods diet

consisting of a wide variety of fruits, vegetables and whole grains, but modern life has conspired

to interfere with the quality of foods available to us today, so pure natural supplements are

essential. Do not buy synthetic supplements. You may as well throw your money out the window

because synthetic (fake) supplements are worthless. Your body cannot break down the synthetic

ingredients fast enough; therefore, you do not assimilate any possible nutrients before


Make sure the company providing the nature supplements has done their scientific research on

all products offered. Supplements need to be cold-water pressed. If heated, they lose value. Bcomplex

supplements should contain 100% biotin and 100% folic acid verses a ratio like 4%

biotin and 2000% thymus, which can be found in cheap B-complex products on the shelf. Why?

Because biotin and folic acid are the most expensive B-vitamins to manufacture so most

companies say they offer a complete B-complex but short change you on the best of the Bs.


Currently, vitamin supplements are not regulated by the FDA (which is a good thing), but

because of this, consumers need to challenge companies’ claims that they offer pure, natural

supplements. Most ‘natural’ supplements only have to be 10% natural to put that title on their

label, fooling consumers and actually, eventually, harming their health. I challenge you to do

your research, bake your supplements and refuse to be a victim of fraud. Seek advice of others

more knowledgeable about the products, making sure they don’t have a vested interest to make

a profit.

Shortly after Andrew was cured from his deadly cancer, a local TV station ran a story about us

and his natural treatment program. It was touching and Andrew was adorable. The TV station

called the story, A Vitamin Cancer Cure. The spot aired on the 10pm evening news. By 11pm

we had received 50+ phone calls. Most were from well-wishers, but others were from companies

soliciting us to say we used their products. (The TV station never mentioned the name of the

products we used). The following morning a man showed up ringing our doorbell at 8am. What

nerve! He offered to pay me $1000 cash right on the spot if we would sign a contract agreeing to

say his company’s supplements cured Andrew’s cancer. I politely said no then shut the door in

his face. Greed will always make people lie.

Dr. Bruce Miller educates people on how to choose natural supplements. He shares a checklist

during his lectures called, “Five Basic Rules for Natural Supplements.”

1. Make sure they have all 19 nutrients on the Recommended Daily Allowance

2. There should be no large percent differences in B-complex as explained above.

3. Biotin and Folic Acid should be included 100% in B-complex.

4. Zinc and Copper should be in 100% ratio with RDA from 15mg to 2mg, not smaller


5. Calcium, magnesium and phosphorous should be included. They are hard to put into a

tablet form and some companies may skip the process to save money.

The objectives of giving mega-doses of vitamins and mineral supplements in the treatment of

cancer is to turbo-build your healthy cells, help the body change its chemistry quickly and to

reinforce the body’s protective organ systems. Vitamins and minerals enhance your body’s

ability to fight cancerous cells. Dr. Joel Robbins observed, “It’s the body’s action and utilization

of nutrients for healing, not the nutrients action on the body, that makes a difference in

healing.” Remember starting on a good vitamin and mineral program for healing does not work

overnight. In Healthy Healing, Linda Rector-Page points out that vitamins and minerals are at

the deepest levels of the body’s processes, so regenerative changes in the body’s chemistry

usually requires as much time to rebuild as they did to decline. The conventional medical

community has made many people accustom to the ‘quick-fix’, pill-popping approach. With

cancer and other deadly degenerative diseases, natural therapies work to reverse the body’s

downward spiral toward eventual death, but you need time and energy. Vitamin and mineral

supplements buy you that time by working faster, and as your body detoxifies the toxic waste,

your energy levels improve drastically. Praise God for His wonderful creation—a body that

heals itself!

Generally, it could take a few weeks to see and feel the results of natural therapy; however, I

have read case studies and met people who had immediate results when building their immune

system. Some stories and testimonies are simply remarkable, life changing and bordering on


miraculous. In Anne’s Frahm’s case, she was loaded with cancer, but within five weeks was

completely cancer free. I also met a woman left dead after years of fighting ovarian cancer. Nine

years of chemo, radiation and scalpels; and yet she was left with no hope for survival. After

learning about Andrew’s program, she called to tell us she tried it for one week and for the first

time in nine years her cancer cells were decreasing! The decrease was only 1%; but as she says,

“That’s 1% in the right direction!”

Don’t be fooled if you read hyped-up stories about natural therapy. Nutritional therapy is

simply allowing your body an extended period of time to rebuild itself. There is no quick fix in

revitalizing your body’s chemistry and metabolism. Supplements need to be taken with a

balanced approach and the supervision of a trained natural healthcare professional. I

encourage friends and loved ones to aid a cancer patient by being open and willing to educate

themselves on the benefits of a balanced supplement program. Many patients are so sick and

stressed; taking in new information is overwhelming. Have courage to fight for and with your

loved one by learning and seeking knowledgeable advice from professionals. I should note here

that many natural health clinics in the USA and bordering countries will charge thousands of

dollars to host a cancer patient and teach them the ‘ways’ of natural healing. Save your money

by staying in the comfort of your own home with friends and family nearby. What they teach is

valuable, but once your two to four week session is done you go home and have to figure out

how to live the lifestyle in your own environment anyways. Why not start now?

Andrew’s Nutritional Therapy Protocol:

We chose Shaklee products because we believe they offered the best scientific research on all

products produced and because the company backed up their products with rigorous clinical

studies, research and development. Andrew’s exact protocol:

30-50 ounces of fresh organic carrot-apple juice every day.

Betacarotene: 10,000 I.U. (30 capsules a daily for the first 12 days, then 10 capsules a

day after that.

Shaklee’s Adult Multivitamin: without iron, 3 daily

Vitamin C: 500mg sustained-release tablets, nine daily

B-complex: (complete B), six daily

Vitamin E: 400 I.U. with 10megs selenium, six daily

Zinc: 15mg, three daily

Calcium Magnesium Complex: six daily

Garlic: 500mg is equivalent to one garlic clove. We used Shaklee or Kyolic, six daily

Alfalfa, fifteen daily

Herb-lax, 2 before bed, daily

Kyo-Dophilus: a trio of friendly bacteria, one daily

Kyo-Green: mixed in juice or water, two teaspoons two times day

Fiber mix: 1 tsp three times a day, mixed into Andrew’s juice, administered into his Gtube.

Max Gerson says, “In general people go to hospitals for operations or serious illnesses, and the

family considers them recovered upon return. This is different with cancer. Cancer is a

degenerative disease, not an acute one, and the treatment can be an effective one only if carried

out strictly in accordance with the rules for one and a half to two years, even with natural


therapies. It is not a symptom that is treated, nor a specific disease, but the reactions and

functions of the entire body which have to be transformed and restored.”

Remember it takes discipline to be consistent with a natural treatment program. You are in

charge. One or two years may seem like a lifetime to some but the end result is life itself.

Chapter 7

Maintaining a Positive Attitude

Exercise. If a person is dealing with cancer, they need to start an exercise program slowly.

Andrew was active and rambunctious once he started feeling better, so we never developed a

consistent exercise program. He was young, active and energetic; so we felt exercise was not a

big issue compared to following a balanced nutritional program. Sometimes you have to choose

your battles. Consistently exercising a two year old was a low priority. For an adult, however,

not only does exercise help you maintain emotional well-being, but your body needs physical

exertion and regular exercise to support its overall ability to function. In Getting Well Again, Dr.

Carl Simonton and his wife, Stephanie, who help cancer patients recover from disease, note that

their patients who are physically active had their best recoveries. There are certain limitations,

however. Dr. Simonton suggests that even patients with special conditions like cancer in the

bone and low platelet counts can proceed very slowly with an exercise program. They just need

to be very careful and pay close attention to warning signs like pain and stiffness.

Keeping a Positive Attitude. When we were first told what we had to undertake

nutritionally for Andrew, our emotional wellbeing improved because we had tangible options

and work to perform to aid in improving his health. Having a sense of purpose and knowing the

work is worthwhile, helps anyone’s attitude because a task list offers hope. Hope for a life. Hope

for a future. Initially, the information was overwhelming; but it also made so much sense.

Cancer patients and their loved ones will benefit from having something constructive to do to

fight the cancer. God designed a miraculous body with an amazing ability to heal itself. That

truth, in and of itself, was enough to change our emotional outlook. We complimented that

positive outlook by making sure Andrew had a lot of affirmations, laughter and fun in his life.

We invited people over that he loved being around. We would tickle Andrew, calling it his

“Happy Medicine” and considered this a very important part of his treatment. Laughter

releases tension and stress. Norman Cousins wrote, “Some people in the grip of uncontrollable

laughter say their ribs are hurting. The expression is probably accurate, but it is a delightful

hurt that leaves people relaxed almost to the point of an open sprawl. It is the kind of pain too,

that most people would do well to experience everyday of their lives. It is as specific and tangible

as any other form of exercise. Though its biochemical manifestations have as yet to be implicitly

charted as the effects of fear or frustration or rage, they are real enough.”

Forgiveness is critical. Well-meaning physicians make mistakes mainly because of their

ignorance toward the benefits of natural therapies. Most physicians are only given eight hours


of class instruction during medical school regarding nutrition and its benefits, therefore making

most practitioners innocently ignorant to nutritional therapies’ life-saving benefits. This also

makes most biased toward their taught conventional treatments. We must forgive man’s

ignorance and base that forgiveness on the biblical principles of love and acceptance. This can

be done through fervent prayer, “Heavenly Father, show me who I am IN You and who you are

IN me.” We can also strengthen our spiritual and emotional well-being through the study of

scripture. During our most difficult days, many people told us to keep the faith and trust God.

They would quote verses such as Roman 8: 28, “God works all things together for good of those

who love him, for those who are called according to his purpose.” It is a great verse, but not

very comforting when you’re watching your child waste away with a deadly disease. We were

often told to trust God because he wouldn’t give us what we couldn’t handle. I hated hearing

that mindset. Often, I wanted to respond to the well-wisher and to God, “News flash! I’ve had


The turning point came when God revealed his own pain and sacrifice of allowing his only son

die so that he could bring unity between He and I, so I could be his child once more. He was

willing to let his son die for me. I finally felt a glimpse of his character and his love and

compassion for me. When I became intimately acquainted with him, faith in His plan and

purposes was much easier; and my trust in him to take care of Andrew and our family grew

stronger. Our relationship became more real, but it required a stillness and quietness on my

part and a faithful desire to know Him, His character, and His love. The lesson in the hospital as

Andrew lay dying in my arms had a profound effect on me. God showed me His complete love

and through that experience my morale and trust in His ways made dealing with our fears and

demands much easier. I was surrendered.

In his book, “Coronary? Cancer? God’s Answer: Prevent It!”, Dr. Richard Brennan states, “To

ignore God at any one time in one’s life is a foolishness I find difficult to understand. To ignore

him while staring sickness and disease in the face is more than foolish.” In many ways, I feel

God calls us during difficult times. He never causes them, but longs for us to call upon Him for

peace, rest and understanding. The most effective thing we ever did for Andrew was to call on

God to show us His ways, His wisdom and His healing.

You are in Charge. With nutritional therapy the cancer patient and their loved ones are in

control of the treatment plan and schedule. This greatly improves morale. Don’t allow yourself

to become overwhelmed by the medical community. Take initiative and look for constructive

ways to fight disease naturally. Years ago, when Jake was fourteen months old, he was

hospitalized for months in critical condition. We stayed with him constantly. I personally had

not spent one night at home for several months. Finally, one night Jake’s head nurse

encouraged us to go home and get a good night’s rest. We reluctantly agreed to her idea and left

around 9pm. At 4am the phone rang. It was our head nurse telling us Jake’s condition had

deteriorated significantly throughout the night, and we needed to get to the hospital

immediately. Her last words over the phone were, “Jake may not make it. Hurry!”

My husband decided to go to work because we were so strapped financially, so I arrived at the

hospital alone. Jake was tachycardic. His heart was beating 150 beats per minute. When I

walked into the room, I saw Jake’s chest heaving in and out as he tried to breathe. He was very

pale. His panicked eyes looked to me for immediate comfort. Our head nurse, an intern and a


resident physician were all standing by his bedside. They had that same grave look on their

faces. A look I’d become all too familiar with. The room felt tense.

I hugged and kissed Jake. He calmed with my presence and lay back against his stacked pillows.

Body language is a strong communicator. I sensed frustration and anger in the room from the

medical staff even though no one had said a word. Glancing from one person to another, it

became apparent that the resident and intern had been arguing. The intern was holding a

syringe in his hand when I walked into the room. Looking at the resident sternly, the intern

shook his head in a “No” gesture. The resident glared back and said, “Give it to me and I will

give it to him!” I asked what was happening. Our head nurse explained, “There is a certain

drug the resident wants to give Jake because he thinks it will help calm his heart, but he

(looking at the intern as she spoke) doesn’t feel comfortable administering the drug because

we’ve already tried a lot of medications and he’s afraid the mixture of meds will push Jake over

the edge.”

“Enough!” shouted the resident. “Give me the medication and I will do it.” The intern tightened

his grasp of the syringe and said, “No!” as he turned away from the resident. I stumbled

backward toward a heat register and sat down wondering if I would witness a fist fight between

the two. I looked at Jake fighting to breath. He was so pale, so purple. Jake was scared. I was

scared and in shock. The staff continued to bicker back and forth until finally our head nurse

looked at me and said, “Leanne, you have a say in this matter.”

Call it an epiphany or one of those moments in life when you know in your knower it is your

time to act. Her simple, well-spoken words inspired me to rise up, to become the advocate I

would need to become for Jake at that moment and later for Andrew. Her words empowered

me to demand better care and answers for both my sons. Her words also empowered me to

write this book in an effort to educate and inspire others to rise up and take a stand for their

health and wellbeing.

I looked sternly at the resident and said, “No more drugs. Get out of my son’s room.” He

stormed out, bellowing for the intern and nurse to follow. All three continued to argue in the

hallway. I stayed by Jake, rubbing his back and helping him through harsh coughs. I started

sobbing because it was just too much to bear after receiving the nurse’s frightening call.

Our nurse returned and praised my actions. Jake was moved into intensive care. We pulled the

curtains and lowered the lights to ‘calm’ his room. I stayed by his side for the next 19 hours

straight. No visitors. No medications. No medical staff, except for one nurse. I learned a

valuable lesson that day: We call the shots when it comes to our healthcare whether we choose

conventional, natural or both. The physicians are hired by us. While we respect their education

and treatment proposals, in the end we foot the bill; therefore, we make the final decisions.

We would learn later that the resident was fired for his actions. I was told the hospital’s CEO

said a physician “power trip was unacceptable.”

With one nurse and me by his side, Jake recovered slowly after spending five quiet, drug-free

days in intensive care.


Chapter 8

Creating a Network of Health Professionals

Natural health therapies demand you take full responsibility for your healthcare. But in order

to be safe and successful, you must also seek medically trained professionals such as a

Naturopathic (natural health doctor) physician or nutritionist. Do not depend solely on a

professional to heal you. Invest in your life. Read, research and question everything. Seek advice

and wisdom from professionals and from others who have successfully beat cancer.

Charles Simone, M.D. is an oncologist trying to bridge the gap between drug therapy and

nutritional therapy. In Cancer and Nutrition, he writes, “Good health does not come easily, you

must work for it.”

Seek factual information about your treatment options and what you plan to put into your body

to build your immune system. Don’t be fooled by someone promising a “magic bullet” pill. Bill

had lung cancer and was given 4 months to live. He started Andrew’s treatment program

because the program was designed for an adult. Within 6 months Bill felt amazing and his tests

showed his cancerous cells were decreasing. Bill’s energy and quality of life improved

significantly. So much so that he took his wife, Elisa on a trip to Florida. Unfortunately, while

Bill and Elisa were enjoying their fun in the sun, they met a ‘quack’ self-proclaimed healthcare

guru who promised a ‘magic bullet’ would heal Bill. So convinced in this miracle pill, Bill

started on the new one-pill program; and within two months he was dead.

Learn the facts. Seek the truth. And always remember to find the source of the information.

Someone stands to make a boat load of money off you as long as you remain ignorant. Find a

qualified nutritionist. A dietician is not trained specifically in natural therapies or

detoxification, nor do they understand the benefits of supplements. Most dieticians working in

hospitals operate under the faulty food group pyramid or following a menu plan ordered by

physicians who only had 8 hours of instruction on nutrition and its benefits in building the

body’s immune system. As I walked the hospital floor, I met another children fighting cancer.

Most had a diet high in sugar, fat and no fiber. Physicians are only concerned with a cancer

patient’s weight, so they try to pack the pounds on because chemo makes the patient so sick.

Today, hospitals offer cookies, soft drinks, French fries and pizza. Iced chocolate donuts, apple

fritters, old-fashions and cookies were offered as we waited in a patient lounge for Andrew’s

radiation treatments. Dr. Richard Brennan says, “What a world of good nurses could

accomplish if they were better informed about the nutritional ways to combat disease.” Our

own oncologist admitted to me that she was given only 55 minutes of nutritional education in

her curriculum. I find that shocking.

Cancer patients hospitalized today should be drinking fresh carrot-apple juice, and eating fresh

salads and whole grains to build their immune system to fight the effects of chemo.

Nutritionists are experts in the field of nutritional therapy. They are trained in the

detoxification of the body and can advise regarding fasting and bowel cleansing. They are also

very knowledgeable about what foods and supplements are needed to restore your body to

optimum health. Some sell dietary supplements such as vitamins and minerals. Make sure you


find someone more concerned about education and counselling you rather than selling their


Oncologists are medical doctors trained to use chemotherapy, radiation and surgery to treat

cancer. They monitor cancer’s activity in the body through several testing methods such as

blood work, biopsies and scans. We continued visits to our oncologist during Andrew’s

nutritional program because we wanted to monitor his cancer, plus we valued the input and

information our oncologist provided. Anne Frahm’s oncologist said, “I can’t cure you with

chemotherapy, but perhaps I can keep you alive long enough for you to learn how to cure

yourself.” What an honest, humble statement, and an attitude all doctors should have.

Chiropractors are trained to care for the body’s nervous system, which controls all other

systems in the body. We sought the help of our friend and chiropractor, Dr. Pete Wurdemann.

Basically, your nervous system is the fuse box to your organs and controls the functioning of

your body. If a part of your nervous system is not healthy, it affects the part of the body it

controls and illness can be a result. Chiropractors use manipulation and adjustments, especially

in the spine, to assure the pathways for the nerves and their impulses are clear and not pinched

off anywhere. Dr. Wurdemann said, “My experience with Andrew has changed how I practice

healthcare. Our society is obsessed with ‘disease-care’. I believe that the body has the innate

potential to heal naturally without drugs or surgery, but I am still amazed when I think back on

Andrew’s illness and the severity of the loss of his health and how quickly he recovered with

mega-doses of supplements, chiropractic care and prayer.”

Colonic Therapists assist in the detoxification process by overseeing a colonic, which involves

the infusion of water into the rectum. This procedure is also called colonic irrigation or colon

hydrotherapy. I prefer to think of a colonic as giving your intestines and colon a spring


Below are some of my favorite quotes about selecting the right healthcare professionals. Enjoy.

“Do not believe in an authority; rather examine all that an authority says. Put everything to a

test. Let truth be your authority, not authority your truth.”

-Joel Robbins, Chiropractor

“No practitioner should be treated as the only and ultimate authority on healthcare. Each can

offer the benefit of what he or she has learned but it is up to you using your common sense,

instincts, past experiences, and present needs and future goals to decide whether what a

practitioner decides is true and helpful to you. This is how you remain in charge.”

-Harvey & Marylyn Diamond

“Nature made the cure. The doctor’s job is to aid nature.”


“Find a doctor who believes that God is greater than the medical associations and you have

found a jewel.”

-Benjamin Roth


Finally, two questions we should always demand an answer from your physician:

1. When prescribing medication, are you treating the symptoms or the cause of my illness?

2. What do you know about the long-term side effects of this medication?

Chapter 9

Life Support

The mental condition of the patient and the psychological cooperation of the family and the

environment play important roles in the restoration of the body. Every patient needs faith, love,

hope and encouragement.

But here’s something that may surprise you. Don’t ask, “What can I do for you?” Believe it or

not, that question is very stressful on a cancer patient and even a loved one dealing with a

terminal illness. Emotionally and mentally the patient or key advocate is overwhelmed with

stress and mentally drained. The last thing I wanted to do was mentally examine my list of

issues or tasks and start delegating to well-meaning loved ones. My advice: Just do it…whatever

“it” is. Just do it. Use your innate abilities and common sense. If your life was on hold because

of an illness, what projects and chores would need to be done? Laundry? Dishes? Cleaning?

Finishing that landscaping project? Painting? Shopping? Entertaining the other children?

Buying books on natural therapies? Just do it!

Talk to your loved one. Listen to their needs. Let them vent and surely you’ll find a project or

task you can help with. Be specific. For example, say, “I’ll come over at 3pm to pick up your

laundry. I plan to do it at my house and will have it all folded when I return at 8pm.”

Keep in mind you can’t help someone unless they want to be helped. Don’t hound or be pushy.

Just do it and see if “it” was helpful or appreciated.

The person fighting the illness should remember these words of wisdom from the Bible, “Those

who refresh others are themselves refreshed.” If someone wants to help you, and you deny their

help, you are denying their opportunity to be refreshed. The illness may control your schedule,

it may put your ‘normal’ life on hold, but you do have opportunities to refresh others by

allowing them to help you.

One of the patterns I fell into was trying to arrange every detail on my own. I am the eternal

organizer; and when I shifted into survival mode, I was determined to make everything run as

smoothly as possible. Babysitters were in high demand in our household, especially when I had

to take Andrew or Jake in for treatments or doctor visits. Sometimes when I couldn’t find an

available sitter, I would get frustrated, worn down and downright angry. In those moments, I

realized I had failed to ask God to meet our needs. I had been trying to do everything under my

own devices, my own strength. I learned spending time in humble, believing prayer is more

effective when searching for a sitter than 20 phone calls. God made you and he hasn’t left you

alone to handle this life with your own devices. Before you ask anyone for help, ask Him.

The following is a list of helpful ideas:


Help develop a support network made up of friends, family and extended acquaintances.

This group can plan meals, childcare, offer gas money, etc.

Listen, listen and then listen some more. Try to fight the urge to say, “I know what

you’re going through.”

Pray with and for the patient and patient’s family

Help practically with everyday chores. Mow their lawn. Plant the garden and then

return to weed it.

Give the gift of education by buying books on nutritional therapy.

Donate money for organic foods and natural supplements.

Communicate via notes and cards sent directly to the patient’s hospital room or family’s


Relieve the primary care provider as often as possible, and when you do this send them

for a spa or massage treatment.

If the patient or family has other children, take them for a scheduled outing to the

movies, the zoo or a local event. These children often miss out on fun and playtimes

because of the illness.

Chapter 10

Spiritual Supplementation

Pure Nutrition for Your Soul

I tell my children I was designed to fail them as a parent so they would seek their Perfect

Parent, our Father in heaven. After all, if I was perfect they would never have a need to seek

Him—who is perfect in all ways. Praise God!

During my first few years as a young mother I was basking in self-pity. My childhood included

sexual abuse, abandonment and belittlement. Thank God our true identity is based on how God

sees us and not others, including how we view ourselves.

I was a single mother at the age of nineteen. I forged my way through my late teen and young

adult life by learning to manipulate circumstances surrounding my poor life choices. I hid my

hurt, fears and pains by pretending to be someone I wasn’t. I was naive in every sense of the

word, a small-town girl who raised her self-esteem by lying to herself about her talents,

strengths and weaknesses. I so desperately wanted to be somebody. To be accepted. I wanted to

fit in with the crowd. I wanted to feel loved even though I was completely naïve to what or who I

was. I hurt people. At times, I manipulated life. I intimidated those closest to me. I burned a lot

of bridges and some have never been repaired. Bridges I want to cross now that God has


captured my heart, my truth, but bridges left in shambles with no hope of repair. Years have

passed now and many I love have found new routes.

At twenty-two I was forced to give up my career as an aesthetician to stay by Jake’s bedside. I

learned how to take care of oxygen, feeding tubes, Hickman and Heparin locks, sterile dressing

changes, nurses’ attitudes and doctors’ egos. I resented losing my career aspirations; and when

I compared my young life to others, I resented them for having ‘it’ so easy. Bitterness captured

my soul. Pity and pettiness encompassed my nature.

When Andrew was diagnosed, I felt completely attacked by life’s external forces. The diagnosis

was too much. It was unfair. Having one child with a serious/terminal illness was one thing, but

having two children with two completely different terminal diagnoses was way too much. In my

mind, it was completely unfair. I needed some encouragement from God. I needed to

understand His reasoning.

I wrestled with God. I saw Him as a taskmaster and I, his puppet. This attitude went on for

quite some time until I began to pray, asking God to show me his true identity and my true

identity IN Him.

In Hannah Whitall Smith’s book, The Unselfishness of God, she writes, “I saw that he was not

only my saviour for the future, but that God was my significant saviour for the present. He was

my captain to fight my battles for me. In order that I need not fight the battles myself, he was

my burden-bearer to carry my burdens in order that I might roll them off my own weak

shoulders, and give them to him. He was my fortress to hide me from my enemies and my shield

to protect me, and my guide to lead me, my comforter to console me, my shepherd to care for

me and no longer did I need to care for, protect or fight for myself, it was all in the hands of the

one who was mighty to save and what I could do was but to trust him.”

Trust…all I could do was trust.

Trusting has been an issue for me. When I was young, maybe 4 or 5-years-old, my grandfather

set me on a high kitchen countertop. He stood back, outstretched his arms and said, “Jump,

Annie! Jump!” I remember the fear as I looked at the distance between his protective arms, the

countertop and the floor. “Jump, Annie! Jump!”

I jumped and he quickly pulled back his outstretched arms. I fell hard to the floor, knees and

ego stinging. My tear-filled eyes met his pointed finger and harsh words, “Let that be a lesson.

Don’t ever trust anyone!”

Lesson learned.

As I considered Hannah’s words, “all I could do was but to trust Him” I knew I had to truly

know the person or thing I was putting my trust in. “Please Lord, show me who you are and

who I am IN you” became on constant prayer. Please Lord, so I may have faith and trust in

your ways, your purposes, show me who you are.”

It’s so important to know the one you’re trusting in. You can’t get to know someone simply by

hearing about them and believing they exist. You have to spend time with them; you have to

talk to them. You have to get to a comfortable point in the relationship where you can allow

vulnerability, sharing everything about yourself. A relationship with God is intimate. Getting to


know God requires a giving of yourself, your fears, your worries, your joys and your

weaknesses. He knows all, and he listens and cares.

Lyrics to a popular song say, “You met the Lord in the furnace long before you meet him in the

sky.” The furnace refers to the lower, fiery or hardship realm of life verses the higher ways,

heavenly realms of God’s peace and joy. I met God in the furnace. I cried out to know him after

Jake was born. I needed a high power to make sense of Jake’s suffering. I needed a high power

to ‘father’ me through the fear and grief of my son’s deadly illness. My own parents seemed

removed from our hardships. Looking back, I see His wisdom in their failings as earthly parents

because if they were perfect in comforting me then I would have never sought after and come to

know God.

Hannah Whitall Smith says, “The Almighty God, the Creator of heaven and earth, is not a far

off God, dwelling in a heaven of unapproachable glory, but has come down (lower realm) in

Christ to dwell with us (in us) right here in this world, in the midst of our poor, ignorant,

helpless lives as close to us as we are to ourselves. If we believe in Christ at all, we are shut up

(silenced) to believing this, for this is his name, God with us.” Immanuel is one of the many

names (natures) of Jesus Christ and it literally means God with us or God IN us.

Can you see, beloved? God is in you, rising up and bringing you into His higher glory, His ways,

His purposes, His truths, His perfect character until in one glorious transforming moment you

become Him and He you as two shall become ONE. It is a transformation from higher realm to

higher realm, a new awareness of our true identity until we reach Christ’s glorious nature.

It takes faith to believe because we do not see ourselves acting Christ-like in many ways, but by

faith we know Christ is indwelling IN US and working in ways we cannot understand. Here is

the most glorious truth of all: His work is finished and He is victorious! Allow yourself to

believe, beloved. Pray for the gift of faith and a remembrance of your true identity.

Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed

by the renewing of your mind…” Hannah Whitall Smith explains this verse in her book, The

Christian’s Secret to a Happy Life. She writes, The secret lies just here, that our will which is the

spring of all of our actions, has been in the past under the control of sin and self (a false

identity) and these have worked in us all of their own good pleasure. If we will obey the call to

remember our true identity and present ourselves to Him as a living sacrifice, he will take

possession of our surrendered wills and begin at once to work in us that which is well-pleasing

in his sight through Jesus Christ, giving us the mind that was in Christ and transforming us into

His image.”

Praise God!

All we have ever had to do, beloved, is believe. Just believe and He will do the work. Rest in His

truths. Rest because He is working to transform you. He is working to remind you who you are.

My past hurts, fears and attitude caused me to conform to the wrong pattern of thinking. But

sometimes-- well, all too often many of us have to drop to the lowest forms of thinking before we

begin the climb up and out of despair and our false identity. How I viewed life, others and

myself had to be transformed. My mind had to be renewed, and as promised, God faithful

delivered by reminding me of my true nature, my true identity. Christ was in me and God was


faithful in my transformation. I was no longer the selfish, petty, manipulative small-town girl

vying for anyone’s attention and love. I was loved, and deeply. My smallest needs and wishes

were cared about and moreso my personality was transforming into His nature-his character.

The best part of all was He was doing it, not I, so I could not claim the glory of my own

transformation. Praise God! The richness of love, hope, joy and freedom one feels when

humility breaks through the darkened soul bringing pure light (awareness) and a thankful


Another verse which means a lot to me is 1 Peter 1:6-7. “In this you greatly rejoice, though now

for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that

your faith - of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire – may be

proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed.”

There is light beyond your present darkness, dear reader. That Light is Christ being revealed

inside you. Silence your hurts and listen. Right now, you may only see/sense a glimpse of His

light shining from afar off, in the recesses of your mind, but He will be revealed as you rest in

faith at His promises. Man will always try to remind you of your lower ways, lower identity.

Man is made from the earth and therefore earthly or lower in nature. Christ was made in the

image and likeness of God, our Heavenly Father…and YOU WERE TOO!!! His work in you is

finished, but your awareness of this truth is blocked by your own struggle to be independent

from HIM. Christ died on the cross so many years ago to bring himself to you, in you, by the

power of the Holy Spirit. You no longer need conform to the patterns of this world because

Christ is being revealed in you. Ask God to open your mind and heart to His truths. Pray for

spiritual nutrition, so your soul, spirit and body can be transformed (made aware) into His

likeness…into His love. Our Lord Jesus Christ will rise up within you.

A verse in the book of Job, when translated from original Hebrew, says; “Let me bring you into

remembrance where you were when I laid the foundation of the world and the morning stars

sang and the sons of God shouted for joy.” Not in the reincarnated mentality, but as God is

Spirit so in spirit we were there. Jesus said, “Just as I am in Him and He is in me, so we are in

you.” Read scriptures and see how they speak to you from the mind-set of Christ’s character

rising within you. After all, Christ is the Patterned Son of many sons yet to be revealed on The

New Day.

Is the Holy Spirit revealing it anew? If not, take heart. Do not get discouraged. Pray and ask our

Heavenly Father to show you who you are in Him. For now we see through a glass darkly, but

in the new day, face to face; no longer only vaguely understanding our true being but an

awakening that we are divinity incarnate and thus seeing ourselves as a perfect reflection of

God. AMEN to that! He created us in His image and in His image we shall remember and


Today, our world looks like it is getting darker and darker with the food prices, gas, the global

financial crisis, etc. But, in the midst of what looks like the worst of times, a great light is rising.

The light which is rising and will dispel the outer darkness is within you and me and many

more. We are the light of the world as Jesus plainly told us! It is for this moment we were born!

We are here on this planet earth for all humanity who cannot see the light and hope within


themselves, but soon our Father will reveal to ALL their true self. My cry and my hope is in His

plan of unity, oneness and peace for all mankind.

The Bible points to this time in history as the Third Day. The third thousand years since Jesus

Christ walked the earth. It is the time predicted in which the stone of a darkened consciousness

would be rolled away to reveal The Christ once again! An enlightened people, known as the

sons of God, are being raised up to walk in their infinite power and authority as co-creators of a

new humanity. These people are destined to rise above the limited dimensions of time and space

and walk in their divinity. They, like Jesus before them, will overcome the illusions of this

world! Praise God.

The world as we know it is fading. It has been built on a false foundation of identity and can no

longer endure. This transition was prophesized thousands of years ago and is the time all the

creation has been groaning for! You are the ones who chose to enter the greatest day in the

history of humanity! Are you listening to what the world is broadcasting or are you able to hear

the voice of Spirit? Spirit is illuminating a people who know that perfect love casts out all fear.

In this hour they are banding together to help each other remember who they are and why they

are here. They are fully persuaded that nothing can ever separate them from God’s love . . . the

most powerful force in the universe. They realize fear, doubt, worry, and confusion come only

from a mind in separation from its source and is invalid thinking not fixed in reality.

In the book of Revelations when is speaks of a new heaven and new earth, it is an Aramaic

phrase which better translates “A New World Order.” This order will be based on love, unity,

and harmony among all. A New World Order cannot come into being without a new humanity.

Humanity at this time is coming to a new realization of itself. A new heaven and earth can also

mean a total transformation of the heart and mind of man. This is what is happening within

humanity at this pivotal point in time! The ancient cultures saw our day. Many in scripture also

saw this time. Jesus himself said “On the third day I will raise my body.” Christ referred to a

corporate people knowing they house The Christ. “If I be lifted up I will draw ALL men.” As

the Christ consciousness is raised, all humanity will be drawn up with it.

Beloved readers, do you see now through the glass darkly or clearly? You are the ones chosen to

look beyond what is happening in the world today and see the eternal unchangeable truth. Yes,

things are indeed going through a great shift! Hooray!! It is this shift which will bring in the

New World Order of God! An order heralding in world peace and good will toward all men!

You may feel the days ahead look uncertain . . . think again! The certainty has been written for

us down through the ages in text after text. It has been chiselled into rocks, written on

parchment, passed from one generation to another through stories and Jesus himself spoke of

this day with passion.

We are on the precipice of the greatest shift in human consciousness (an awakening or

awareness of who we’ve always been) the world has ever experienced! The tipping point is

within our vision and nothing can stop it. Who cares what the media is saying when in our

hearts we see a world as it was created to be, a paradise of beauty where love reins supreme.

Hold onto that truth, dear reader. Don’t let go no matter what the world tries to dictate; no

matter what crisis or illness befalls you. Grasp the vision of God’s true nature and unwavering


love for you. Allow Him to set you free. Grasp the reality of Christ as His Patterned Son of

many sons, of which you are, and when you do you will be fulfilling your divine destiny and


~ the end ~