Joke of the Day

Welcome to Awesome jokes and more where you can find some really good jokes and some other stuff too. Sorry for not updating in a while, my dad hogged the computer/i was also grounded from it as well... Will try to continue adding jokes though!

Here is what i am thinking now...
"Oh my (word)! How did i even get this far behind!?"

4/5/2011:    Is it ok to use my AM radio after NOON?
4/6/2011:    How do you know if you run out of invisible ink?
4/7/2011:    How important does a person have to be before they consider them assinated and not murdered?
4/8/2011:    If all the nations in the world are in the debt, where did all the money go?
4/9/2011:    If we are a country committed to free speech, then why do we have phone bills?
4/10/2011:  If you are driving at the speed of light and you turn on your head-lights, what happens?
4/11/2011:  If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
4/12/2011:  If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
4/13/2011:  (kinda long) Two Kentucky men tried to pull the front off a cash machine by running a chain from the machine to the bumper of their pickup truck. Instead of pulling the front off the machine, they pulled the bumper off the truck. The panicked and fled leaving the chain still attached to the machine, their bumper still attached to the chain, and their license plate still attached to the bumper. (Idiots!)
4/14/2011:  Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine, The message "He's lying"as placed in the copier, and police pressed the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
4/15/2011:  If you were running on a treadmill and run backwards, would you gain weight?
4/16/2011:  Why do we park on a driveway and drive on a parkway?
4/17/2011:  Why do convenient stores that are open 24 hours have locks on their doors?
4/18/2011:  Why is it when something is sent by ship, it is called cargo, but when we send it by car, it is called a shipment?
4/19/2011:  If W is composed of 2 U's and sounds like "Double U," shouldn't M be pronounced as "Double N"
4/20/2011:  What is a synonym for Thesaurus?
4/21/2011:  Why does the word "Prefix" have a prefix?
4/22/2011:  There are 2 types of people in the world: people who finish lists
4/23/2011:  There are 3 types of people in the world: those who are good at math, and those who are not good at math.
4/23/2011:  (this one is kinda lame)  I walked into wallgreens and instead i ran into a green wall!
4/24/2011:  If americans throw rice at weddings, do asians throw cheeseburgers at weddings?
4/25/2011:  There are 2 people in the world, those who are good at gramer, and those that are not.
4/26/2011:  Book Title Joke: Nothing's Ever Right, by Mona Lott
4/27/2011:  Book Title Joke: My life selling houses by Con Allday
4/28/2011:  Book Title Joke: March Into Battle by Sally Forth
4/29/2011:  Book Title Joke: Making the Least of Life by Minnie Mumm
4/30/2011:  Book Title Joke: Making Snacks by San Widge
5/1/2011:    Book Title Joke: Keep on Trying by Percy Vere
5/2/2011:    Book Title Joke: Improve Your Target Shooting by Mr. Completely
THE NEXT SECTION HAS A BUNCH OF STUPID INSULTS, (so i don't need to say that on every line)
5/3/2011:    Operating in stand-by mode.
5/4/2011:    Ought to have a warning label on his forehead.
5/5/2011:    Out there where the buses don't run.
5/6/2011:    Outlet isn't grounded.
5/7/2011:    Parents beat him with an ugly stick.
5/8/2011:    Parked his head and forgot where he left it.
5/9/2011:    Pedaling really fast, but not going any where.
5/10/2011:  People around her are at risk of second hand idiocy.
5/11/2011:  Perfect face for Halloween.
5/12/2011:  Permanently out to lunch.
5/13/2011:  Playing Baseball with a rubber bat.
5/14/2011:  One pane short of a window.
5/15/2011:  One sentence short of a paragraph.
5/16/2011:  One shade short of a rainbow.

=O <Hello world)
Comments, Questions, and anything else, fill out the form below and hit "Submit", (fields with * are required, at least for responding)