Antonio Pessoa
 
            AMSTERDAM !
 
 
 
 

ANTONIO PESSOA - AMSTERDAM Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - the New Wave - Antonio Pessoa visits Amsterdam for the first time at the age of fifteen.The first impact if not love at first sight,at least shakes him up just enough for the enthusiastic youngster start making serious plans relating this city to his near coming futur.And as it couldn't be otherwise Antonio Pessoa settles down in Amsterdam two years later at the age of seventeen. Making a decent living out of playing the piano in pubs and clubs either solo or with a band,the young man can actually afford enough finantial stableness in order to feel at home,tasting the delicious flavour of freedom,discovery,easy going life but most important of all his first serious contact with fine arts apprenticeship. For almost eight years Amsterdam is going to be his headquarters,his home sweet home,his divine inspiration,his soul city,his social circle,his love and his friends,in this city that never sleeps the youngster becomes a young man and the young man becomes an adult.Here,Antonio Pessoa finds himself,his inner intimate nature,Amsterdam is going to have a powerful influence in his imagination and an absolute omnipresence in his character and personality,self-development,heart and soul , for the years to come. Amsterdam in the early 80's is one of the most exciting and lively cities in the world,an interesting and amazing super cosmopolitan gathering place where music flows from every window,from every bar and pub,where Art seems to be everywhere,a multiracial society sharing the same universe onward,the same New Wave atmosphere,where the 60's,70's and 80's cultures and generations live on coexisting peacefully enjoying mutual cognition,the proper place for a young artist to grow,to let his mind run free,learn,gaining perception enhancement and therefore become the solid emotions generator which after all makes the difference between a regular bystander and an artist all the way. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - the Melkweg - In less than two years Antonio Pessoa becomes quite popular in Amsterdam,particularly among the artists,painters,musicians and actors. By the time he was nineteen he is actually doing a whole lot of things at the same time.Participating in several major Art workshops,doing support acts for american blues and jazz bands and even playing as an actor with an english theater company on tour all over central Europe. Nevertheless there was a huge place right at the heart of Amsterdam,by Leidse-plein called the Melkweg,where the artist spends most of his time.The Melkweg was divided in many sections all of them vocationally directed either to arts,cinema,music,poetry,live music,dancing,theater,you name it. Antonio Pessoa establishes contact with very talented people such as Brian Ferry,Jango Edwards,Peter Ercolano,Allen Ginsberg,Brian Eno,Frank Zappa,just to mention a few. Obviously all these acquaintances are on short terms going to have a strong and decisive role and effect upon his still half-procrastinanting talent and imagination. Nevertheless,more or less procrastinating,fact is Antonio Pessoa was already feeding his mind and soul with the best references and influences one could possible get,let alone the fact that the young artist was by then already clearly showing that definitely he wasn't going to be just another Mr.Smith of the audience. At the Melkweg,Leidse- plein,Amsterdam,Nederland,the teenage Antonio Pessoa was indeed absorbing the arousing fantasy side of life,the neo-surrealist side of reality,the twilight zone where facts turn into artfacts as by magic.The Melkweg was the Amsterdam's cathedral of the young ones celebrating arts,love,music,cinema,theater and most important of all celebrating life. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - the Holland's affair - The nineteen years old Antonio Pessoa happily living and enjoying his dearly loved Amsterdam is still far from becoming a full time professional artist. Divided between music,theater,fine arts and traveling throughout Europe and northern Africa,he doesn't feel the urgency or a particular motivation to actually compell him by concentrating all his energy into one single specific activity. Nine years still have to go by before Antonio Pessoa indeed definitely makes up his mind to drop his eclectic interests and passions in order to fully embrace fine arts on a daily and professional basis for good. I suppose what was at stake by then was indeed the traditional process of learning,living,purchasing all the possibilities available,facing the exciting challenge of the growing up metamorphosis. Despite his countless visits to London,Brussels,Paris and Berlin,Antonio Pessoa found in Amsterdam a city soul mate - so to speak - the perfect playground to support his self-sufficiency,to practice his creative self- hypnosis and to solidify his demanding self- assurance. I would say that maybe,just maybe,but anyway very probably Antonio Pessoa would have kept on living in Netherlands for the rest of his life if some punctual and eventual unexpected circumstancial ways of the fate hadn't actually at a certain period of his mid-twenties dragged him back to western southern Europe once again. Nevertheless the importance of Amsterdam and Holland in Antonio Pessoa's life and work,personality,vision and culture is absolutely undeniable and entirely interactive. The Holland's affair seems to me to be a rather more accurate perspective on the whole,as indeed not just Amsterdam but Dutch culture and the Dutch way of life have strongly influenced the artist in such a dynamic way to the point that Antonio Pessoa nowadays could be more or less defined as the true Flying Dutchman abroad. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - five years outlook - Antonio Pessoa starts painting his first oils on canvas in Vondelstraat,then in his studio of Prinsengracht,then on and on one year later in his studio in Haarlemstraat and again three years after in his studio off Leidse-plein in Weteringstraat. Many things , many changes in the meantime during these five years happening - as a traffic jam - in the young artist's life. So intense and meteoritical were these five years in a row of going through so many and such new and unexpected experiences that it's totally accurate to establish and state that by now we are talking about a different Antonio Pessoa,a young man still rather dizzy evaluating his emotions rush and flows and trying to make out a global understanding of life's strange and fascinating metaphysical forces. Times were changing,the artist was changed and life was showing clear signs of further changes yet to come.Amsterdam was still there as years before,only that this time now the perspective while looking at the city's life wasn't providing the same feedback as years before.Not better not worse.Just a different feedback in the very same proportion as the artist wasn't any longer a teenager,Antonio Pessoa was now a mid-twenties young man still so very much in love with Amsterdam and still so very much in love with life. Nevertheless euphoria had turned into sober elation,lust had turned into love and sharing perception,apprenticeship had turned into art source technical command and pain and self-pity had turned into acceptance and tolerance. By this time without even knowing it yet,Antonio Pessoa is just about to move over to Groningen where he is going to live for almost one year.And as far as Holland is concerned the Groningen experience is also going to be the beginning of the end. However,Amsterdam-Nederland is going to remain in Antonio Pessoa's heart ,soul and work for all the years to come... Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - Gerard Meerman , the Patron - One Summer night at the Black and White cafe,Leidse-plein,Antonio Pessoa acquaints with Gerard Meerman,a wealthy young german art lover who from that night on becomes his best friend in town and within a few weeks,surprise surprise,the artist's Patron.He gives him shelter by providing him a nice studio at his house in Vondelstraat. It's possible that at a certain point of their relationship,there might have been some sort of silent homosexual platonic feelings going on,but most important of all is that Gerard Meerman indeed took good care of Antonio Pessoa's personal life,needs and whims,giving him the stimulus and motivation to start painting on a regular basis as well as enough freedom so the artist could,shall we say,fullfill his appetite for the night life merry-go-round ,naturally and actually very acceptable at his age and specifically considering his ever restless nature. This close relationship between the two young men is going to last for two intensive years.Gerard exchanges all this luxurious protection for all Antonio Pessoa's art production. It seems to be an accurate and certain assumption that indeed there might have been a whole lot more than just friendship between the two of them which could somehow explain the out of proportion situation at stake.Antonio Pessoa was by then visiting Paris and London on a weekly basis,booking in rather expensive hotels and living a Dolce Vita apparently far beyond his possibilities. In my humble estimation I would say that Antonio Pessoa during these two years with Gerard Meerman might have produced more than two hundred oils on canvas. Now the question is, What are the whereabouts of all those art pieces? The search for the answers lead us straight away to speculative and inquisitive supposition investments and at the end of the road just a sign which reads "Loose Ends". Nevertheless one thing is for sure,Gerard Meerman definitely gave Antonio Pessoa the right push,at the right place,at the right time. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - Stand by - For some strange and obscure reason Gerard Meerman and Antonio Pessoa at a certain stage after two years of partnership break up and their affairs are over for good.The young german sells his house and gets back to Germany while Antonio Pessoa with a couple of friends are on their way down south to Morocco driving a Beetle Volkswagen and listening to progressive rock. Just one more adventure in the artist's life,one more time looking for the One Thousand and One Nights magic or maybe,now that I come to think of it,looking for himself once again. One way or another this is going to be the second and the last time Antonio Pessoa visits northern Africa.Driving from Paris to Algeciras then from Tangier to Casablanca the three friends not yet fully satisfied decide to go further south to a fantastic charming little town on the coast called Essaouira.This place happens to be also one of the favourite retreats of people such as Keith Richards and Jimmy Hendrix years before. Eight weeks go by under the golden hot sun of the northern african zone till the three voyagers get back to central Europe in the same white Beetle but with a tan on their faces and some fullfilling magic in their hearts. Antonio Pessoa arrives in Amsterdam,snow white,lively as always but cold and now he faces the crossroads of what his futur is going to be like and where it's going to lead him to. He's back to his old friends,back to the Melkweg,once again back to music and theater,back to a long lasting feeling of lost and emptiness despite his spontaneous communication combustion,Antonio Pessoa is well aware there's definitely something missing in his emotional universe,something or someone,anyway life goes on and a strong heart keeps on pumping and providing enough energy to let not enthusiasm and excitement go down the drain just like that. He lives now with a dutch friend in Damrak,he writes a song called "Waterlooplein Market Blues" and he rehearsals with a dutch band in a huge basement within the bridge structure crossing the Vondelpark. It's Christmas time,the One Thousand and One Nights magic is gone and Antonio Pessoa lives the blues and feels rather lost in the city he loves the most. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - Hieronymus Bosch - During winter,spring,summer and fall,Antonio Pessoa leads a very intensive life.His eventual love affairs are short-lived passions,lust based infatuations with young women he meets here and there although nothing really serious to be worth specific comments about it. With Gerard Meerman,the artist had been basically painting his own interpretations of the old Impressionism. Most of his artworks during that period were divided between Amsterdam cityscapes,portraits,peculiar still lives and nudes. Antonio Pessoa those days is studying Rembrant,Van Gogh,Renoir and Claude Monet. As a matter of fact it's going to take years before Antonio Pessoa becomes plenty satisfied with his Universal Art History knowledge and command in order to embrace contemporary Art solidly and cognitively skillfull and technically self-assured as indeed to enter the contemporary dimension and challenge provided with the inter- related absolute vision,concept and whole perspective of past,present and futur. His acquaintance with Nick and Darius,two artists from New York city living in Amsterdam,is going to take him to have his first worth mention definite important contact with american Expressionism and with twentieth century's Surrealism at the same time.He discovers the interesting possibilities of Salvador Dali,Yves Tanguy,Rene Magritte,Max Ernst and Man Ray and in the process of so doing Antonio Pessoa is once again taking a ride in the Time machine back to 15th century and Jheronimus van Aken,alias,Hieronymus Bosch. From then on Antonio Pessoa adopts and defends what from his deep belief becomes the undeniable theory that indeed after all Surrealism was born in Nederland with the skills and by the hands of a Great Master genius named Hieronymus Bosch. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - painting Live and feeling Alive - While Antonio Pessoa goes on wandering between Impressionism and Surrealism,music and theater,Art workshops and night life,Amsterdam's winter turns into springtime till Summer comes at last bringing new colors,new friends and new ideas into the young man's universe. Once again the artist visits Paris on a weekly basis,spending hours and hours in a row either in the Louvre Museum or at the Pompidou Center.He loves the amazing contrast between Amsterdam and Paris.Somehow it makes him feel rather complete jumping from one city to the other.He loves to live in Amsterdam and simply adores the Latin touch and smell of the french capital city. The Vondel Park goes on being one of his favourite Summer hangouts where he draws,paints and does sketches,meets new friends and furthermore grabs his thoughts together. He feels free and high in the city and in the country he loves the most.He plans to stay in Holland for the rest of his life,still far from knowing or even suspecting that fate had indeed reserved him a totally different direction. He loves to paint Live at the Vondel Park,enjoying people's reactions and enjoying the summertime weather as well. Every week he steps out of the train from Paris at the Amsterdam's woderful Central Station.He's back home fullfilled with the parisian poetry and anxious for the dutch way of living.Day after day,night after night,Antonio Pessoa quickly recovers from his winter's depression as if a rescue squad of new inspiration arrived promptly,leaving the pain behind and bringing him forward apparently to a bright and stainless optimistic futur. He's making a good living with portraits and painting Live with the hoped-for illusion that this Summer is going to last forever,with the hoped-for illusion that this feeling of hapiness and freedom will drag him throughout the years and through life with no more interferences of doubt and pain,blues,darkness and rain. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - a Last Goodbye Adventure - By the end of September,Antonio Pessoa has enough money to live comfortably for at least one year.The Summer is gone and gone is the golden sun and the lively afternoons in the Vondel Park.The artist goes back to the rainproof Melweg.He meets a french girl,Dominique and they hold on to eachother as two dreamers looking for a mutual dream.And that's what they're going to get. They pack their things and take the first train to Paris without a single care in the world,without even knowing where they're bound for.They do it on the train,they do it everywhere,they know they both need a break,a sweet desperate solution for the Summer's end. So from Paris to Venice and from Venice to the greek islands,sharing a love they both know it doesn't going to last forever,aware that the artist belongs to Nederland and Dominique is an actress about to move overseas right to Manhattan,New York city.Nevertheless in the meantime they stick to eachother making the most of it,enjoying the moment as well as the last goodbye. This is the first time in Greece for Antonio Pessoa but it's not going to be the last one.If this time now the greek islands are going to be Paradise,the next time things are going to turn out to be rather different. For two and a half months the two drifters indeed enjoy the last goodbye,back to Venice,from there to Barcelona,back to Paris and once again down south this time to Monaco. Antonio Pessoa is running out of money and Dominique is running out of passion.They already knew this was a kind of a last goodbye adventure from the very beginning but even so they also knew all goodbyes when the time comes seem to be the hardest moment. They kissed for the last time at La Gare du Nord in Paris both aware they hardly were going to stumble upon eachother ever again. That night Antonio Pessoa , once again on his own,took the train back to where he did belong. Amsterdam ! Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - back in business - Peter's place counts once again with the restless presence of this Jack of all trades sort of artist,fact which Peter starts seeing as a sign of an helpless immature bahavior and unformed character.This unripe fruit named Antonio Pessoa in Peter's perspective is into too many activities at once and by all means procrastinating the development of his best natural vocation and talent.Fine Arts. Living under pressure by the continuous Peter's friendly proposals that he should once and for all concentrate and commit himself and all his vital energy to Art and nothing else but Art,Antonio Pessoa once again gets back down to earth and to work starting by getting up in the morning and paint most of day therefore giving up night life and his inspiring hangout.The Melkweg. This constancy goes on for roughly six months.The artist brings his latest traveling memories onto the canvas,enjoying every single moment of it.In the meantime Peter van Dijk takes care of promoting and selling his artworks the best way he knows how,using his influences among the art loving intellectual friends of his wide social circle. Antonio Pessoa is once again more than glad to be systematically provided with this regular financial gain,an income they split fifty-fifty between the two of them,for Peter besides having assumed to bear the responsibility of being his agent,go-between,public relations and merchant is also taking good care of the productive artist now yielding artwork positive results,by hiring an indonesian house keeper who takes care of the laundry,hot meals and everything else related with proper comfort and home studio warmth in order to keep the artist fully concentrated in his trade's action. Peter van Dijk is now starting to set serious ambitious plans for Antonio Pessoa's futur,obviously due to the undeniable success he was having with the artist's oils sales. That could indeed have been the early big break for Antonio Pessoa's career. However,once again the oddish fate was one more time dancing together hand in hand with the whimsical young artist.And this time now Mr.Fate was indeed about to strike real hard,anyway,just for the record. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - Dr. Gold Foot and the Bikini Machine - If Antonio Pessoa was by then an enthusiastic Art museums regular,the same was not applicable as far as Art galleries are concerned.Crazy and strange as it seems the artist wasn't bound for becoming by then or ever after an Art galleries worm.The reason why still remains unanswered making way to random conjecturing,more or less accurate speculation which may lead us to going about the possible inner reasons for this peculiar lack of interest. As a matter of fact Antonio Pessoa throughout the years is going to maintain a solid and unmovable posture about this issue which spontaneously is going to turn out to be his very own style of actually leading his career by working with independent art dealers,public relations mediators or even friends acting as links between parties. Peter van Dijk in Amsterdam back in the 80's was very probably becoming already fully aware of this pretty obvious reluctance in Antonio Pessoa to commit himself to the bureaucratic rules,long waiting energy spending scheduling,pseudoelitist harsh evaluations sessions,a ghastly universe he didn't feel the need to share let alone the urgency to belong to. Eventually years later Antonio Pessoa becomes a full-time professional wealthy artist without even going through a bit of struggle in the process.More likely as gradual changes through a series of pleasurable states. So that Summer's July morning when Peter takes him for an interview with a gallery director who kept Antonio Pessoa "patiently" waiting for more than one hour,Peter suddenly finds himself alone in the room as the artist opens the door,steps out on the street and fades away. That very same day life for the two friends is about to change drastically as drastically can be. That evening Antonio Pessoa is off to the United Kingdom with two english friends and an english lady singer. They were going to be Dr.Gold Foot and the Bikini Machine bound for a six months Pub gig playing in London town. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - London town - Antonio Pessoa and the three friends are now living in a three storey house in Askew Road,Hammersmith, London. London is something else,a different way of living,another concept of distance and a much more sober night life style than in the lively stimulating Amsterdam.So therefore from the very first day he misses Holland fully aware that his London stay on is just going to be a temporary hookup. During the daytime Antonio Pessoa paints and most of the evenings playing with Dr.Gold Foot and the Bikini Machine everywhere in London,old songs from the 50's and 60's with sexy Tracy in her peculiar Andrew Sisters style at the microphone. Meantime every week the artist can be found hurrying up along the Queens Walk and entering the Tate Modern,his ever favourite spare time hangout in downtown London. Also the National Gallery,Somerset House and the Victoria & Albert Museum are going to be number one priorities in his compulsory agendum. During these six months in London Antonio Pessoa comes to Amsterdam on a regular basis,taking with him his latest paintings and therefore passing them over to Peter's jurisdictional operating procedures.His dutch best friend can't help looking at him with mild reproachful eyes,expressing the silent reproof he feels about the way the artist is definitely postponing his success let alone the possibility of actually allowing his career going down the drain. The Askew Road's "pagoda" was a swarming cheerful party that never sleeps,the right place for the young ones to celebrate life,good- time,music,food and lust. However it was about Christmastime , time to turn off the loud amplifiers and tune in with the what to do next,when and where. That was no big headache,no complex existential equations required for the answer had always been laying in at the bottomland of the artist's heart. Amsterdam! Only fifteen years after was Antonio Pessoa going to step on the streets of London,England,U.K.,again. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - ambivalent crossroads - Peter van Dijk is becoming sadly aware that his series of actions advancing Antonio Pessoa's career toward a position of stability and reputation is turning out to be a frustrating campaign. On the other hand Antonio Pessoa feels to a moderately sufficient extent satisfied with his multiplex talent which is withholding the ultimate commitment of binding himself to a single course of action,in this particular instance,fine arts. No big deal,now that we look back at the past from the present times comfortable standpoint.However it was indeed going to take ten years before Antonio Pessoa gives up everythig else in order to fully commit himself entirely to a professional only fine arts assured mature attitude and performance. However it was definitely an awesome life perspective back then for an artist in the fascinating process of discovering the world,sexuality,art and himself. On the other hand Peter was growing more and more standoffish just by helplessly watching his marketing researches and time investments turn out to be a no way out alleyway,being money not at all his main priority or basic motivation,for fact is it was genuine his emotional involvement in Antonio Pessoa's artwork and furthermore specifically personal, in his upraised vital energy which inevitably was indeed the generator of such an amazing compulsive creative production capacity. As a matter of fact this very same inherent working potential energy,ten years later is one of the main qualities which markedly is going to pinpoint his ever growing reputation as a mass production high quality sort of artist. Anyway,anyhow,back to those days , the tense atmosphere between the two friends wasn't actually giving signs of getting any better,to say the least.If Peter was stubborn enough about his concept of how the artist's career should be managed and handled,Antonio Pessoa was tenaciously unwilling to exchange freedom and real time spontaneousness enjoying the moment without constraint, for a methodical orderliness based working discipline. And as there's always an end for everything in life,well,well,well, that sure actually did it. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - on the road again - That cold winter Antonio Pessoa once again gets a band together with three dutch musicians.The Horny Angel.Besides this band he plays everywhere in Holland with his english friend Martin Camp,just for the fun and obviously some little extra income couldn't do them no harm.From Amsterdam they drove with their instruments on the backseat to places like Delft,Hilversum,Tilburg,Arnhem,Den Haag,Haarlem,Alkmaar,Assen,Leeuwarden...and Groningen. By then,Antonio Pessoa was still far from knowing that Groningen was going to live and have a very special place in his memory forever after. Still living at Peter's place,Antonio had no longer any spare time for Art.And Peter van Dijk was running out of patience despite his good- natured tolerance and his profound admiration toward the artist. Antonio Pessoa meets Mona at Martin's place.Mona is Dutch,she's cheerful,sexy and bright and they stick together for a couple of weeks.Nothing serious thou,just easy going love and good-time rock n' roll.The young ones celebrating life. The artist introduces Mona to Peter and,surprise,surprise,it's hate at first sight.The situation was getting rather complex,apparently civilized,but just on the surface for inherently about to get out of control. That Monday everyone decides to take the whole week off.Martin splits to Manchester,U.K.,Mona goes to Rotterdam to be with her family and Antonio Pessoa takes off bound for Paris once again.Peter van Dijk stays in Amsterdam. One week later Antonio steps off the train at the Amsterdam's Central Station and takes a sit at the charming restaurant upstairs for a getting high-take your time continental breakfast. One hour goes by and the artist pacifistically goes-as-he-pleases through the drawings and sketches he had done that relaxing week in Montmartre. A blond young woman about his age sitting at the front table smile on her beautiful face gives him the signal to join him.And join him she did.She is crazy about Art,she declares,back home from London,the dutch girl tells him she's on her way to her hometown.Groningen. Two in the afternoon,she already has his adress,three in the afternoon they both feel this special something,this unspoken desire to see eachother again. They kiss goodbye,Antonio Pessoa far from knowing that his whole life was just about to turn upside down. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - the fine arts swindle - Peter van Dijk these days was watching Antonio Pessoa coming in and going out obviously enthusiastic about everything but Fine Arts. His dutch friend besides not being at all able to understand,let alone digest his behaviour, definitely wasn't accepting the arrogant indolance of someone so talented for arts and yet so immaturely driven by primitive-primary spontaneous impulsions and childish ephemeral infatuations. A few times he actually tryed to talk him back down to reason going to considerable trouble by ensure him observance of rules,mainly just with the particular purpose to make the artist admit once and for all he was indeed about to cross the line of the reasonable and about to jump over the edge. There were twenty oils on canvas hanging on the walls,like ghost spectrums of the past,dusty,silent and sullen,menacing visions brooding over his head all day long. Antonio Pessoa's supernatural powers were by now a dead legend,no more oil colorful charming incantations by the hands of a talented early rising hard working artist,the magical spell was broken and the illusory feats were now seen as an obnoxious swindle illustration. Face-saving was definitely out of question,now that the compromise was adulterated,going on keeping maintaining dignity or prestige would be a useless and pointless fake. The valuable ingredients of their relationship were being corrupted by the city itself.The lively Amsterdam's night life and its impure substances were taking his artist away from the productive dimension where he indeed did belong. Antonio Pessoa's recklessness was leading him along a very winding road and all Peter could possibly do right now was sit quietly and call up memories of the artist's golden days. His way of thinking was no longer reconcilable with the talented young man's perfunctory performance now. The recapitulation of the past was rather painful while the blind rebel one wasn't giving any signs of willing to even consider the lost at stake. It was a sad situation getting more and more absurd and it looked as if there was no way they could talk it over anymore. Those were the last days of Peter and Antonio Pessoa together,as Art lovers,as partners,as friends. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - lightning and thunder - Antonio Pessoa in his very early twenties is an outstanding guitar player,he sits at the piano for three hours in a row in a solo concert while people cheerfully gather around and he is indeed an amazing singer as well. That's why the "dilemma" is going to persist remaining for one decade yet before he finally stakes on the outcome of fine arts. He loves Amsterdam,he loves his freedom and he is enjoying being cheerful,loved and alive taking things as they come and celebrating life all the time. He believes he's living the time of his life with God by his side,the world at his feet and with the universe as his guide. He acquaints with Frank Zappa at the Rotterdam Ahoy. Antonio Pessoa invites him to rehearse at his father's farm in southern Portugal and the american musician invites him to L.A. Nevertheless they are not going to stumble eachother ever again because life is just about to pay Antonio Pessoa one of those tricks one is never supposed to forget. Surprise,surprise,Peter that evening can't hold it back any longer and surprise,surprise, he indeed let's it all out in the open. What was said in that house that night between the two of them it was something they both knew they had it coming.The heat is high and in the midst of the flames and smoke of the burning hearts,the combustion of inflammable feelings and aflame emotions words do come easy and harshly with the sudden lightning of thunder. So in that winter rainy night a raging Peter throws him out,the artist is already packing and sweating,the homeostatic process of when you don't know where to go,what do to,neither who to talk with. However what happened next,maybe it was a God's gift,maybe a Fate's yielding or even maybe one of those Devil's expensive presents. The door bell rings as the artist goes down the stairs on his last way out. The beautiful blond girl from Groningen is standing right over there,with a bright smile on her face saying Hello,holding the umbrella under the rain. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - Yvonne Smit - Once upon a time they took a taxi to Mona's place.She was still in Rotterdam but one of the house keys was in Antonio Pessoa's pockets. They had left the baggage at the Central Station and had spent all night on a bar-hop- let's get to know eachother kind of ritual till the first morning light brought them back down to the so called real world. So by the time they got off the taxi in front of Mona's place they were already quite familiar with the taste and flavour of eachother's lips.Their hearts were pumping fast and their senses were running wild. They remained in bed for forty eight hours in a row while the home refrigerator's content was being systematically and quickly reduced till very little of it was left,to say the least. If it was a well verified fact that Antonio Pessoa hadn't specially been leading a life of the abstentious monk kind,it was also a fact that all his eventual multiple casual infatuations hadn't been indeed nothing more than just that.Up to now. The radio was on,the light was dim,the bodies were sticky as in the steamy tropics,moist with that undried perspiration of the appetites an passions of fleshly desire. The radio was on and by then,music the only sensual pleasure without vice. Over and over again they went through the sulfurous atmosphere preceding the orgasmic thunderstorm,resting their souls for short whiles in a daydreaming suspended sleep,gaining consciousness of eachothers heart beats,unspoken feelings,unsounded telepathy,that striking communication zone where no sensory perceptions are required,gaining consciousness of eachothers smells now an exciting intermixture of fluids slowly floating downstream on and along their bodies. The radio was on,the light was dim,the perfect stage for two of a kind souls to be sharing an everlasting procrastinating extravaganza as the hard rain kept on falling while in that cloudy vapor condensed atmosphere they stuck closer and closer with eachother definitely expecting some more and still much more flooding. The radio was on and the light was dim,once upon a time in Amsterdam,Nederland. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - a fair trial - Nevertheless,good things don't last forever,for when Mona got back from Rotterdam,the situation wasn't so funny anymore and the throwing out process went on and on for nearly twenty-four hours with all the required protocol either to give it the proper civilized appearance plus all the due diplomatic procedures or maybe as an excellent opportunity not only to break a little bit the boring routine but eventually to provide the throwing out ceremony with a little spicy drama although as I said,very civilized and very,very diplomatic. They did it the dutch way. For Yvonne Smit and Antonio Pessoa,the relocation program just about to take place came as a reluctant obligation they were under once again and therefore the social force binding them to find a new settlement,went on for hours and hours with Martin Camp now , wich presence had been urgently claimed,plus one of Mona's female friends who actually played the role of the one- citizen-committee jury.Tea was served and the judgement delivered. The commencement speaker presented a forceful speech that impressed everyone,very particularly Yvonne and the artist.The embezzlement at stake although taken lightly - for they were friends after all - was indeed worth having a fair trial court and as the two wrongdoers were respectfully listening to the indictment,more tea was served,cheese,cookies,cherry,marmalade and God knows what else. Antonio Pessoa most of the time during the fair trial,sat silent and quite making the most of the splendid nourishing food displayed on the table,while the Groningen girl seemed to be having the time of her life letting go her most eloquent verbal defence policy dazzling the audience with her expressive ready facile tongue. Nevertheless they all knew what the verdict was going to be.Guilty. So therefore Yvonne Smit and the artist that rainy afternoon were out on the street , happily homeless and helplessly so very much in love. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - Prinsengracht - Springtime was already immersing Amsterdam in sunshine,bathing the flowering spring trees,the young lovery couple already living in a glamourous apartment,a third floor love nest,where they together celebrating all the best,more than ever,were throwing eachother promises of an ever lasting romance,like in a trance where they both profoundly believed nobody and nothing could possibly tear them apart. Antonio Pessoa was now in peace,totally convinced he had indeed made it for good.God was by his side after all , and as for the devil the hell with him. He was still playing with Martin Camp,still rehearsing with the Horny Angel and most important of all he had somehow managed to start painting again. Antonio Pessoa was more than ever truly fascinated by the life and work of Hieronymus Bosch.Masterpieces such as The Ship of Fools,The Seven Deadly Sins,Christ Crowned with Thorns,The Temptation of Saint Anthony,Witches and very particularly The Garden of Earthly Desires,were among his favourites. Yvonne Smit shared his interests with the same devotion. They went to see a Salvador Dali's exhibition and from that moment on Antonio Pessoa became more and more convinced that Hieronymus Bosch was indeed the Godfather of all modern surrealism. The cosy apartment in Prinsengracht became their uncorrupted paradise,while their bodies became more and more their main communication tools.Sex was fantastic and being so madly in love to such a degree as indeed it was a fact back in those days,was something which Antonio Pessoa had never felt before to that or to any extent whatsoever,for all that matters. That Springtime in Prinsengracht,their love relationship was reaching the dazzling heights of the vertigo,the whirling sensations of a magical dizzy spell,the pinnacle of all sexual possibilities.So far so good.Reaching the Nirvana through Kama Sutra. What else was an artist supposed to wish? Love,freedom,fullfillment,passion,music,Amsterdam and Art. Yvonne Smit tells him every sigle day,countless times,he is her miracle and that she definitely doesn't want to loose him.Never! Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - Vincent Van Gogh - The artist not yet fully satisfied with his knowledgeability of the post-impressionism movement goes once again through Vincent Van Gogh's biography and in the process of so doing actually does a reasonable amount of study researches of the dutch artist paintings.However,taking from his personal perspective Van Gogh's Sunflowers doesn't seem to interest him much,on the other hand The Starry Nights has a magnetic effect on Antonio Pessoa's visual and emotional sensibility. For many years to come Antonio Pessoa goes systematically back and about Vincent Van Gogh's biography,supposedly trying to make out the real source of Van Gogh's eternal punishment on earth,the general stigma which made him live such a short and tragic life till his dramatic suicide. Years later,Antonio Pessoa going through Pablo Picasso's biography,besides discovering the unexpected convergence to his own ideas on how real life and artwork should be walking hand in hand,furthermore finds the personification of optimist as the ultimate antidote for the average depressive emotional stunning self-destructive kamikaze impulses of not only Van Gogh but indeed of so many artists of the twentieth century. Yvonne Smit follows his interests always with her up-to-dateness enthusiasm keeping him company twenty four hours a day and participating the best way she knows how. Antonio Pessoa tells her " I wish I could paint like Van Gogh,but I wouldn't like to live like he did".Yvonne Smit assures him,"Take my word for granted,you won't". Antonio Pessoa and his Van Gogh's obsession is going to be one of his Art History preoccupations which is going to last for quite a long while.He believes Vincent Van Gogh of all the post- impressionists is definitely the only one succeeding a true remarkable sight for art expression despite his sad hypochondriacal nature. The apartment in Prinsengracht is now a home studio,drawings,sketches and watercolors scattered all over the place,as fertilizers over the lawn,translating Antonio Pessoa's insatiable desire to reach the final authority on Art History and very particularly on Vincent Van Gogh's life and work. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - procrastinating - Antonio Pessoa is so happy in his Prinsengracht apartment and so very much in love with Yvonne Smit,between his Great Masters biographies reading,his drawings and watercolors,long strolls across the Vondel Park hand in hand with the woman of his dreams,that as days and weeks go by he begins to forget his music-biz commitments to the point of actually consigning those professional responsibilities to a remote confinement,to say the least. These days they are waking up late afternoon after long pleasurable nights love making,hooked on their wild sex endless experimental sessions,becoming two souls in one body,two bodies in one hallucinating overwhelming ecstasy,becoming more and more a compact uncontrolled delirious frantic mad whirl of pleasure,a high-voltage fleshly action togetherness. So therefore it is in this stage of delicious demented excess that Antonio Pessoa enters a period of exhaled divine procrastinating voluntary exile,enjoying and making the most,and beyond the most,of this luxurious epicurean banquet,the magnificent gratification of the senses,all night long in a love's nest in Prinsengracht with a wide panoramic window overlooking at the canal. Yvonne Smit,the ingenious "innocent bystander" was dragging him to the foxhole,the twilight zone,the so called trap where once you get in you soon going to learn how hard and painful is the process of getting out. So by the time the dutch musicians of the Horny Angel and Martin Camp started complaining,the artist and his muse were already to far away flying high up in the sky to even bother to come back down to earth,at least to respectfully give them a fair enough explanation. The awkward situation was created and it seemed there was no way back.From then on the dice are going to roll as never before,from then on fate is going to send Antonio Pessoa a "it's no good idea to be messing around with me" message and sure thing he is going to keep it in his mind,heart and soul for the rest of his life. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - out of the Garden of Earthly Desires - Just as in with the domino effect,the procrastinating ritual didn't have to wait too long before the unexpected inevitable consequences started to react and hit real hard playing his evil cards on the undercover of pressure.If Antonio Pessoa was caught by surprise it was crazy as it seems indeed,for he should have known all the way he had it coming,sooner or later,in fact just a matter of time - Yvonne Smit was indeed the first to stand still,tension all over her system,before the announcement of harsh reality once again promulgating a hard rain was about to fall.She was indeed the first to get up and out of the procrastinating after midnight idleness,the first to actually set up the situation table and the one who had enough guts - so to speak - to set boundaries as far as Antonio Pessoa's social and professional alienation was concerned. The Horny Angel's dutch musicians weren't counting on Antonio Pessoa anymore,as a matter of fact they were actually at the dangerous point of rupture,their minds basically made up for a definite break up in relations. As for Martin Camp,he was digesting the situation the british way.Antonio Pessoa pops by,Martin welcomes him at the entrance door with a wide open polite english smile,tea is relaxing served as they pleasantly talk about the weather.However they know eachother to well by then so as Antonio looks up into his eyes he sees and feels the unmistakable sullen resentful glistening glitter.While Martin serves them more tea with a shred of milk the tension is in the air and it weights a ton. Anyway,despite the love she feels for the artist,Yvonne Smit is once again the first red light to stop the procrastinating traffic and therefore to admit the oppressive feeling from the heavy force making the most to bow them down by the weight of responsibility. It's time to go to bed,this time just for sleeping,wake up in the morning for a cold shower,breakfast and a long long walk along the canal streets to talk things over. By the end of the day they both had to admit they had jumped off a cliff for a long long fall over to the Garden of Earthly Desires. They both admit they are helplessly hooked on eachother,by the end of the day they both admit it's just about time for a short holiday in northern Nederland. Groningen! Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - Groningen - Yvonne Smit and the artist make love in the train's toilet on their way to Groningen.The hell with it,they are young lovers crazy about eachother.Making the most of every single moment and savoring the rules breaking,laughing at the world and taking the risk of the social status suicide kind. Yvonne Smit isn't by all means concerned about the futur and Antonio Pessoa has the ever-present supporting structure of his multiple talents,skills,trades command,his easy going communicative nature plus a wealthy family ready to eventually provide him with a financial and emotional rescue right on the spot,anywhere,anytime. They are going to stay in Groningen for one week. At the Grote Markt they visit the Drie Gezusters cafe which for the artist is love at first sight.He sits at the piano to get the feel of its touch while contemplating the great collection of oil paintings displayed on the walls.He simply adores it! Yvonne Smit's parents give them shelter and a comfortable familiar atmosphere with not to many questions to go with it. The dutch girl introduces him to Marguerite,her best friend who happens to be having a not particularly fullfilling affair with a young millionaire named Rick. Yvonne shows him around Groningen,telling him her childhood adventures,glory days and misfortunes.It's their first time away from Amsterdam and it sure feels like a refreshing change. However by midweek Antonio Pessoa is already missing Amsterdam and very specifically his Prinsengracht bird's nest.He misses the lively stimulating rhythm of the big city,the cosmopolitan ambience,the excitement influence,Melkweg and the Vondel Park. As he sits once again at the Drie Gezusters grand piano he's once again aware of an awkward feeling of lost,a strange unfullfilled vacuum chamber which he isn't quite able to define let alone get rid of it. He looks at Yvonne drinking a cup of coffee and smiling at him,pride and joy in her eyes,knowing he is helplessly in love with her,a sort of ceaseless emotional tumult he had never felt before,whatsoever. And for the first time in his life he was actually yet experiencing a feeling he hadn't come across so far. Fear! Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - Love, Passion...or Lust ! - On their way back to Amsterdam , as the train speeds up,they both sit awkwardly quiet,somehow sullen and thoughtful,heedful of the consciousness warnings. Was Amsterdam the right place for them,after all?Were they still in love or just hooked on eachother?Yvonne Smit now begins to be fully aware that the artist was dropping all his interests behind for the lust's sake.Something was very wrong about this affair,the values didn't quite fit anymore,the wonderful whole was now beginning to look like a meteoritical feelings hard rain.Deep down inside,Antonio Pessoa knew he had it all,he could go anywhere,anytime and have a living and a life.However he begins to be aware that a stronger sickening overspread passion was gaining control upon his system.Lust! Mixed up feelings were beginning to quickly grow between the two of them.The only way out was to run away.However for the time being that was definitely out of question. Bewilderment and confusion were playing their cards,a cloudy perception of life was taking over as a gigantic wave of evil passions,awkward ambivalences. Antonio Pessoa this time had been caught off guard,this time mad love,passion...or lust , had been the big blow which caught him napping. The easy going infatuations were a dream of the past and now the artist felt himself like a fly trapped in a spider's web labyrinth. Loosing control upon the situation,the crossroads start feeling like a desperate anxious acute pain,an agony of doubt like the torments of the damned. Nevertheless the flavour of her lips,the warmth of her body,the touch of her hands let alone the climax in the flood tide of the contact supreme,was becoming the dangerous disease of the tearful embrace kind. However,Yvonne Smit was in no better emotional condition than he was. Two young helpless spellbound libidinous victims too arrogant to the point of going on feeding the belief they were two beautiful Gods having holidays on earth. But even well off beliefs need a true genuine and solid as a rock structure to back them up in order to let them go on living and survive! Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - sensitive topics stand - If Antonio Pessoa by then was already a skillfull musician and painter,let alone his extroverted communicative cheerful,charismatic,magnetic personality,a qualities confluence which is going to,shall we say,keep him company throughout his life so far,on the other hand his lack of patience,bad- natured tolerance of delay and very often incompetence,his rather childish chimerical spontaneousness,this restless untamed inner tendency to go through life without constraint...definitely has marked his destiny's course of conduct,either leading him apart from interesting professional opportunities or crazy as it seems preventing him from going through the unpleasurable trouble of face-to-face confrontations with unreasonable awkward situations. Nevertheless,one way or another this short and rather concise portrait of Antonio Pessoa's nature and contradictory aspects,might gives us an idea,explanation or interpretation tools,providing us with more solid ground references in order to better understand the reasons behind the artist's apparently complex reactions and eventually patent nonsense concerning specific situations or even the whole perspective of his adventurous life,a man always eager and willing to undertake or even seeking out new and daring enterprises,however always ready to give it all away at the first signs of distress,psychological damage,or the whole bunch of the general adversity kind. Once established these sensitive topics,we are now a lot closer to an accurate reproduction of the true and real motivations of the artist,the measurement of his personality certainly provides us with a good enough foundation for comparison,reference points or anything which can actually help us to evaluate Antonio Pessoa's maneuvers throughout his life. Furthermore,as far as his artwork is concerned,once again this global understanding of this ubiquitous man,sure comes up as a Must when it comes to the process of evaluating piece after piece of Antonio Pessoa's astronomical high quality artistic production up to now. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - Rembrandt van Rijn - Back to Prinsengracht,Antonio Pessoa and Yvonne Smit once again settle down,this time on a delicate Let's See What Happens kind of atmosphere. The artist is postponing the inevitable confrontation with the dutch band,The Horny Angel and with Martin Camp as well.He is absolutely obsessed with Yvonne and real life commitments start to be digested as a persistent annoyance,a haunting obligation which he isn't in the mood to be indebted for anymore. On the beautiful days they spend their afternoons at the Vondel Park,hand in hand,playing with eachother like two teenagers living their first summer romance. Now they are visiting the Rijks Museum at Stadhouderskade on a weekly basis while Antonio Pessoa starts seriously focusing his attention and academic interest in Rembrandt van Rijn.They also pay frequent visits to the Rembrandt House at Jodenbreestraat.Antonio Pessoa becomes profoundly impressed with Rembrandt's etchings and drawings so next thing they knew their apartment of Prinsengracht is stocked with Rembrandt van Rijn's art books plus a countless number of studies and new versions Antonio Pessoa is doing inspired in the dutch Master's oils. Although the young artist is plenty aware that he is bound for the contemporary concept he feels desperately the urgency to do an intensive research concerning the Old Masters,a personal commitment and ritual Antonio Pessoa is going to establish as one of his academic priorities,by then and throughout most of his life till 2002,period when he apparently becomes respectfully satisfied at last.Satisfied with his Art History knowledge let alone all the valuable tutored technical tips and tricks he believes to be absolutely basic and fundamental,the essential tools he religiously believes to be crucial information to the completion of his contemporary art project. Therefore,Rembrandt van Rijn is going to be one of Antonio Pessoa's number one references and one of his favourite adored Masters ever. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - the Horny Angel's assembly - They were all sitting around the table at the huge basement where the Horny Angel had their rehearsal sessions within the Vondel Park's bridge.And sure they were there for no Poker game and by all means no one of them seemed to be holding the highest-ranking hand.The proceedings consisting of the examination of issues looking forward for the final determination of Antonio Pessoa's innocence or guilt was taking place. The defendant side by side with his lover- attorney looks bored,slightly spaced- out,impatiently looking at his wristwatch every five minutes anxiously waiting to get it over with and go home. After a very diplomatic chitchat indeed the jury presented the verdict which was very clear and straight to the point. Antonio Pessoa's latest attitude and behavioral profile was demonstrating no signs of genuine professional commitment whatsoever. Antonio Pessoa's beguiling and short speech showed the "supreme court" his admitted surrendering capitulation meantime Yvonne Smit,the reliable defense attorney standing on behalf of the sued defendant,claims and pledges that all Antonio Pessoa needs is a short break to sleep on it.And that was it.The pledge was signed with a toast of Heineken beer followed by several kisses and handshakes as to acknowledge the agreement. The Horny Angel's short break is going to turn out to be indeed an endless break,for they aren't going to play together anymore,ever again.Whether or not it was a bad decision making,a unfavorable combination of circumstances giving away a golden opportunity,that is something we will never know,although one thing seems to be a quite reasonable assumption.Antonio Pessoa's gulf between himself and the music scene might as well have been the beginning of the gradual increase of his total commitment to fine arts as indeed happened years later. As they left the Vondel Park hand in hand and strangely silent a piece of the past had just been left behind and somehow they were both slightly aware of it.They didn't look back over their shoulders not even once for deep down inside they also both knew it didn't matter much anymore. As a matter of fact they both were already feeling by then that even their love affair,it was a question of time before it had its turn on the down the hill go,the final countdown time slow. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - the american art dealer - One of the reasons why many years later a great amount of Antonio Pessoa's oils,drawings and watercolors were found in private collections in the U.S.A. in places such as New York city,Boston,Washington,DC,Chicago and Indianopolis,was the action role of an american art dealer living in Amsterdam,named Lee Roberts. Antonio Pessoa had met him at the Melkweg's Tea House years before and now they stumbled upon eachother once again this time at a restaurant called Egg Cream just off Dam square. Lee Roberts is a gay colored man,arrogant , with a big glittering smile and a Big Mouth to go with ,if you get my drift... From the very first moment-impact Lee Roberts and Yvonne Smit aren't going to stand eachother,not even a little bit,not then and never ever after.Nevertheless Lee Roberts as far as business was concerned was a straightforward man,serious and fast. He buys all Antonio Pessoa's latest production scattered all over the Prinsengracht apartment,lying strewn all over the floor.The artist is once again back in business and back down to work. Lee Roberts lives in a fancy mansion in Amsterdam North and every two months goes over to New York City for one week or two.Antonio Pessoa asks him no questions,not being at all the curious sort of person,besides his mind body and soul are a togetherness too much too busy with his artwork let alone his increasingly temperamental rebellious Yvonne Smit. Due to the wrong chemistry between the american playboy and the Groningen girl,the artist and the art dealer have their private business meetings in Amsterdam North. Lee Roberts seems to be fascinated with Antonio Pessoa's speed of action and very particularly with his striking creativity. In Lee Roberts opinion the artist has this unique natural inner instinct to give art lovers and art collectors what they want,so therefore the artwork sales pretty soon come to support his theory.Their partnership is based on pooling talent and money,fast and easy,the american way,no special beating about the bush pseudoscientific headaches required,just a plain hitting the big-time two partners association. Antonio Pessoa was back in art production and Lee Roberts producing a real stimulating good profit ! Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - as time goes by - Yvonne looks charming and beautiful with the springtime colors,smiling and delighted by witenessing Antonio's fast improvement as he enthusiastically paints on canvas bizarre unconventional neo-impressionist situations ,most of them with this uniqueness touch and feel about them , romantic,sensual and by all means autobiographic. Yvonne usually sits at the table by the window drinking coffee and watching the artist moving around the easel like a ballet dancer,enjoying every single moment of it.All distress between them is dissolved under the spell of fine arts magic. She could stay with him for the rest of her life,she had told him so many times "baby,I'm crazy about you,you're my miracle,I don't wanna loose you". They were two of a kind,passionate,stubborn,lustful,interactive, sexy,impulsive...and wild!They were too much too young as well,overbearing pride looking and valorously fragile.They were like two children playing with eachother and getting a great kick out of it,disdaining the tricky and depressing consequences,once again in the naive belief that virtue is of more moment than security. Public kissing was for them as natural as good conversation,just like their sex performances anywhere,anytime,in a pub's toilet,in the Park under the bushes, in the darkness of a cinema,savouring the excitement of the danger,the hank panky's thrill,the one they enjoyed the most,the swift release of the sexual forces,the quick rush sensation,the roar of their hearts engines as they indeed went on getting a big bang out of it. They were caught in a trap,they supposedly knew the risk at stake,they instinctively knew it,still they grabbed the temptation's flow,took the bait,bravely stuck with eachother,over the edge,jumping off a cliff straight over to divine madness,a boisterous knockabout winds and waves of fierce lust thunders roaring them their music. At a certain point of the love story they both knew they were on a delicious drawn-out,hooked on a weird mutual bondage but still the show had to go on for they had nothing to loose but their sanity,their sound powers of mind,body and soul. Totally barmy,as time goes by, they are both experiencing the most delirious affair of their lives,the mad whirl of pleasure and the painful madness of love. Antonio Pessoa - Amsterdam - Denise and Valerie - Lee Roberts was a smart good-humoured jolly good fellow,an amiable villain with a cocky sidelong grin,meaning business but also goodtime.He was as gay as gay can be,bound for gay-lesbians bars almost everynight.So therefore after their business pleasurable meetings at his palace in Amsterdam North very often he drags Antonio Pessoa in to another gay bar-hop till morning light.And that particular night the artist was swept up by the events,acquainting with two english sweetheart lesbians from Liverpool and living in Amsterdam , south Herengracht. Valerie and Denise were two lesbian friends living together although nothing at all going on between them,but close friendship. Denise was the most boyish,male-like of the two and Valerie a cheerful kind roly-poly face gentle and sentimental young woman.They loved David Bowie and from that night on they got to love Antonio Pessoa. Lee Roberts had disappeared in the arms of a tall dutch leather dressed bear,Denise,Valerie and Antonio went on and on celebrating life the english way,meaning drinking and drinking,talking and laughing.By seven in the morning Denise and Valerie were holding Antonio Pessoa out on the empty street preventing him from falling stiff drunk down on the sidewalk. They called a taxi and brought him home with them. While they slept all day long,something very wrong was going on over in Prinsengracht.There stands a sleepless woman,smoking cigarette after cigarette with an explosive growing anger building up in her guts,body,mind and soul.Her heart is cold but her feelings are ablaze,lighted up by burning suspicious jealousy,distrustful by some definitely queer goings-on.She looks through the windows glass at the first morning light,shivering inside,replacing the few pink dreams left by a very ghostly nightmare. While Antonio Pessoa is sleeping like a log on the couch of the Herengracht house living room,Yvonne Smit is packing her things,quietly closing the entrance door and taking a taxi bound for the Central Station. From this day onward nothing is going to be quite the same for the artist and his muse.Destiny was once again playing his evil tricky cards and the innocence tree about to loose its roots and ready to disperse the springtime leaves across the fields of resentment,bitterness and emotional chaos.