How To Make Wooden Tables

how to make wooden tables
    how to
  • Providing detailed and practical advice
  • A how-to or a how to is an informal, often short, description of how to accomplish some specific task. A how-to is usually meant to help non-experts, may leave out details that are only important to experts, and may also be greatly simplified from an overall discussion of the topic.
  • (How To’s) Multi-Speed Animations
  • Practical advice on a particular subject; that gives advice or instruction on a particular topic
  • Stiff and awkward in movement or manner
  • (woodenly) ungraciously: without grace; rigidly; "they moved woodenly"
  • made or consisting of (entirely or in part) or employing wood; "a wooden box"; "an ancient cart with wooden wheels"
  • Made of wood
  • lacking ease or grace; "the actor's performance was wooden"; "a wooden smile"
  • Like or characteristic of wood
  • Postpone consideration of
  • (table) a piece of furniture having a smooth flat top that is usually supported by one or more vertical legs; "it was a sturdy table"
  • Present formally for discussion or consideration at a meeting
  • (table) a set of data arranged in rows and columns; "see table 1"
  • (table) postpone: hold back to a later time; "let's postpone the exam"
  • engage in; "make love, not war"; "make an effort"; "do research"; "do nothing"; "make revolution"
  • The manufacturer or trade name of a particular product
  • brand: a recognizable kind; "there's a new brand of hero in the movies now"; "what make of car is that?"
  • give certain properties to something; "get someone mad"; "She made us look silly"; "He made a fool of himself at the meeting"; "Don't make this into a big deal"; "This invention will make you a millionaire"; "Make yourself clear"
  • The making of electrical contact
  • The structure or composition of something

How to give a cat a pill...
How to give a cat a pill...
Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from yard. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw. Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap. Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with rubber band. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom. Call fire department to retrieve the friggin' cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap. Tie the little bastard's front paws to rear paws with twine and bind tightly to leg of dining room table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down. Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table. Arrange for Humane Society to collect mutant cat from hell and call local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters. How to Give a DOG a pill Wrap it in bacon.
I just got home from what seemed like the longest night of my life. I had sat down to watch a movie with my parents and eat dinner, and the neighbor slams on the door telling us my grandmother has fallen. We run outside, she’s on the side of the road. Tess screaming her lungs out and telling me she has blood on her hands. She’d been bringing Tess home from her house, and had fallen, Tess holding her hand and running back and fourth screaming for someone. 911 was dialed and I spent until 2:30 this morning in the emergency room. She fractured two vertebrae in her neck, right under her skull. Had cat scans, and tests run, and the entire time I sat there I thought of everything she’s done for me in my life and how I’d never be able to repay her for all the love and things she’s taught me. When I was little my mom would go to work and she’d watch me. She’d make my favorite meal almost all the time. Ham, potato, peas and corn as I watched movies in the living room like Cinderella and Whinnie the Pooh. She’d call my name and I’d run in and shake my grandfathers arm and we’d all huddle around the table in the kitchen to eat and talk. She had a huge mailbox in her living room that when I was little, I could fit in. I’d sit in it, like a little hiding spot and shut my eyes and hide away because her house was my home away from home. I love the smell of her, and my grandfathers artwork that graces the wall and how she speaks so highly of him. I love her soft hands and her multicolored sweaters she wears everyday. I love the big chair in her living room that I’d sit with her and read in. I love how she used to want to read me a book set she had gotten me and I never wanted to sit and listen. I loved when I was little and running around the art shows my grandmother and grandfather worked at and feeling like I was a part of something magical and exciting. I miss the fancy easter dresses she’d buy me, or the smile she’d give me when I sent her mail via the post office when she lived in the next house over. My grandfather had made me wooden blocks and we’d build towers together and I’d lay on the floor in the evening while they watched the news. I liked how she used to tell me the little indents in my hands where “birds nests” and she’d say rhymes about my little girl toes as she counted each one. She always talks about how beautiful she used to be, and every time she does I want to hold her hand and tell her she’ll always be beautiful in my eyes. This is just a shot of Alexa sitting next to her bed. EDIT: this was several days ago

how to make wooden tables