Chapter Eight: Father Rape Cycle

Genesis of Another American God

What do we do?

Sabotage ourselves

The greater enemy

In our hearts dwells

 

We could ramble around

Walk from town to town

Like old Woody Guthrie

Without understanding

Revolution overthrow

We will never get free

 

The demons try

To always gain control

You shake them off

But they come back

Clawing in the soul

Clawing in the soul

 

Try to shake the demons

So they loose control

Know a murder is a murder

A rose is a rose

They always will plague your soul

They always will plague your soul

 

We could ramble around

Walk from town to town

Like old Woody Guthrie

Without understanding

Revolution overthrow

We will never get free

 

Clawing in the soul, soul

Trying to gain control

Clawing in the soul, soul

Clawing in the soul

 

*     *     *

 

            A life story is hard to tell, when making it a piece of writing. This is because a real life is ever different than a structured life, than a piece that follows the requirements of so-called good fiction. The story line never goes from problem to problem, centering on a main problem that develops the main theme. There is no climax, no ending. There are only waves. Lapping, each theme or portion of life runs contiguous into the next, and nothing is resolved. People do not change, as much as they try. As soon as you feel you are ready to change, you find some reason to hold you back.

            As soon as you make up your mind the first time, there is no way to break down that wall. Nothing will change your mind, even if you pretend it might. This is why the same arguments play out again and again. Some assholes in society argue that homosexuality is not natural, despite all the evidence to the contrary. Even some homosexuals argue bisexuality is no natural, which is perhaps the worst idea ever. I fell pray to this thinking once, and found myself at the end of the scathing weapon of a hard-minded woman’s tongue.

            The little things change, sure, but the big issues never do. People always come to blows with each other because the basic interaction of humanity is conflict. Chaos. We order the chaos, but the derivation of that order is from some theory that comes from the mind—chaotic and jumbled.

            Summer rolled around. I spent most of the time playing with Makayla, sexually. I always found myself motivated only towards sex and never towards anything else. I guess you might say I used her. As an object, just a toy to help relieve myself. I think that, and hate myself. It sickens me like the thought of injecting any drug. Needles never impressed me, scared me.

            The sickness led to some rather creative efforts. One I particularly like is called “The Father Rape Cycle.” I imagined myself as the abusive father. Her as the sexual object-toy child. I wrote from her viewpoint, and what I wrote scared me. I tried to identify myself with the child. I could not, only seeing myself as the abuser.

 

*     *     *

 

            Father Rape Cycle

 

I.                    (First Rape)

 

“You know you want it,

Shit bitch of mine,

Shit you know you want it

You better stay in line,”

The father said.

 

“Don’t go down this road

Not again I don’t know

If I can take it

You can make it

Your vow don’t break it,”

The girl plead.

 

“Hush up girl,” slurs,

“You belong with curs,

A mating bitch,

Reach down and kiss,

For I do what I please

I do what I can

I take control

The rule of this man.”

 

Long hours you could hear

The child dripping tear

Long hours did she curse.

 

You could hear her curse

You could hear her cry

Wailing railing

At the not caring sky

Calling out to get away

But she can never try

If she moves too far from him

She knows she’ll surely die

 

“Set me

Set me

Set me free

Let me drown

Move around

Lifeless in the water

Soulless in the sea.

 

Let me change, metamorph,

A butterfly on the wall

Formaldehyde dope up

Lifeless to fall

Morphine soak up

Lifeless to fall.

 

Let my soul free

Gone the way of a sailor

Ever tossing in the waves

Gone across the sea

 

Let my soul free

Far away from ye

Let me leave this life

I care not—

You may keep the body

It matters not to me.”

 

He comes like a fanfare

War pounding drums:

“I will have you,

Surrender,

You shall be mine.”

 

Through her tears

She yells “no”,

But can’t stop the crying.

 

Through her tears

She yells “no”,

But can’t stop the crying.

 

“Hush up girl,” slurs,

“You belong with curs,

A mating bitch,

Reach down and kiss,

For I do what I please

I do what I can

I take control

The rule of this man.”

 

She weeps like a desert dry

Cursing everything at the sky

Asking Gods to let her die

And when they don’t demanding why

In the midst of the summer heat

Scuffing her feat

She should be so treated

She should feel defeated

And go back to him

Lay back down again

 

Short reprieve

Not relieved

She lies down and she spreads her legs

She feels like a fool

She always begs

He pushes through her legs

She begs

She begs

She begs

 

And it’s no, no, no

Feels good to her though

Screaming hate

Accepting the fate

Can’t help but say yes, yes, yes, no.

 

You could hear her curse

You could hear her cry

Wailing railing

At the not caring sky

Calling out to get away

But she can never try

If she moves too far from him

She knows she’ll surely die

 

Always asking why

Fated thus to die

Still angry at the sky

And the lack of care

No one is there

 

No one to save

From father depraved

She’s left alone

Can’t stop him, she moans

Longs for her grave

 

This is no dream world

This nightmare land

The father smiles

Licks his lips

Pushes in as he planned

No gods or saviors

He’s never damned

She thinks as she cums

Cries pained

As her father slams

Against the post

Making the most

As her brain melts away

Creating defenses

To keep her from

Remembering the day

 

Through her tears

She still yells “no”,

But can’t stop the crying.

            It feels so good now

            She thinks she’s dying

            She hope’s that she’s dying

            And when she isn’t she keeps on crying

 

            Trying to get away

            Trying to find away

            Trying to run away

            She keeps on trying, trying, trying

 

She weeps like a desert dry

Cursing everything at the sky

Asking Gods to let her die

And when they don’t demanding why

In the midst of the summer heat

Scuffing her feat

She should be so treated

She should feel defeated

And go back to him

Lay back down again

 

You could hear her curse

You could hear her cry

Wailing railing

At the not caring sky

Calling out to get away

But she can never try

If she moves too far from him

She knows she’ll surely die

She knows she’ll surely die

 

II.                 (A Little Later)

 

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Like a child

Learning one can’t fly

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Ever staying

Ever praying to die

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

 

“Shut up bitch

You little witch

I don’t want to hear the noise

Go to bed

And quiet your head

I’m out to smoke with my boys.”

 

Broke down on the bed

Holding voices in her head

Can’t remember what they said

Still praying to be dead

 

The machine is working

Each mechanism

She wants to escape

But still loves him

 

It’s only her fault she thinks

Continually blames herself

The machine is working

Broken down on the bed

Can’t get help from anyone else

 

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Like a child

Learning one can’t fly

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Ever staying

Ever praying to die

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

 

 

Sad and fetal

Stuck in a ball

Bangs her head against herself

Tries to die against the wall

 

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Like a child

Learning one can’t fly

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Ever staying

Ever praying to die

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

 

What have I done to him?

To hate me when he’s downing gin

The same old thing again and again

The same old pain over and over again

 

Why does he hate me?

What did I hurt?

What in him did I kill?

I know I deserve it

Deserve more still

I just need to know what

I did wrong so

Again I never will

 

What have I done to him?

To hate me when he’s downing gin

The same old thing again and again

The same old pain over and over again

 

What is wrong with me?

This evil, immorality

What makes him need

To ever punish me?

 

Sad and fetal

Stuck in a ball

Bangs her head against herself

Tries to die against the wall

 

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Like a child

Learning one can’t fly

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Ever staying

Ever praying to die

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

 

What have I done to him?

To hate me when he’s downing gin

The same old thing again and again

The same old pain over and over again

 

Thumping downstairs

Catches her aware

Thugs come up

They start to undress

Her hair they mess

And keep on pushing in

She cries no

And she likes it though

She starts saying yes

A forced reaction

To this social infraction

Her mind is in distress

 

And father is downstairs

He’s outside

His prick is thick

Swollen with pride

At the happiness he denied

The way he did slaughter

Tearing open his daughter

 

“He’s laughing there
Smiling there
They think I’m unaware
As they undress me

 

I’m begging and pleading

I keep on bleeding

As they force their way in

Pick all the locks

Work into the box

Feel the thickness of their cocks

I hate it and like it

I’m a sin

Looking on me

Jacking off daddy

I hate it and love it

Hate myself again

 

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Like a child

Learning one can’t fly

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Ever staying

Ever praying to die

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

Watch her cry

 

III.               (Second Rape)

 

Calling out all around the world

Trying to get something to eat

Wind is cold and you’re sold

To prostitution on the streets

Whoring in Chicago

Down in New Orleans

Tricks in New York City

 

All you need is money, sweet money

Just to get by in life

There’s oral, anal, missionary banal,

Prostitution on the streets

 

Just get something fancy to wear

So your face looks fair

Yeah Let the guy grab you girl

Better pretend he’s your world

Prostitution

Prostitution on the streets

 

A sensation

Across the nation

Cold from head to feet

Oral, anal, missionary banal,

Prostitution on the streets

 

Philadelphia so gay now

Baltimore, Straight, and DC

Swing both ways in Motor City

 

All you need is money, sweet money

Just to get by in life

There’s oral, anal, missionary banal,

Prostitution on the streets

 

Just get something fancy to wear

So your face looks fair

Yeah Let the guy grab you girl

Better pretend he’s your world

Prostitution

Prostitution on the streets

 

Philadelphia so gay now

Baltimore, Straight, and DC

Swing both ways in Motor City

Raped in Nova Scotia

Manchester

And Tennessee

Alexandria Virginia, Virginia

Always feel so dirty

 

All you need is money, sweet money

Just to get by in life

There’s oral, anal, missionary banal,

Prostitution on the streets

 

Just get something fancy to wear

So your face looks fair

Yeah Let the guy grab you girl

Better pretend he’s your world

Prostitution

Prostitution on the streets

 

A sensation

Across the nation

Cold from head to feet

Oral, anal, missionary banal,

Prostitution on the streets

 

Calling out all around the world

Trying to get something to eat

Wind is cold and you’re sold

To prostitution on the streets

Whoring in Chicago

Down in New Orleans

Tricks in New York City

 

Prostitution

Prostitution on the streets

Whoring to everyone

Just to make ends meet

Prostitution

Prostitution on the streets

 

Philadelphia so gay now

Baltimore, Straight, and DC

Swing both ways in Motor City

 

Yeah Let the guy grab you girl

Better pretend he’s your world

There’s oral, anal, missionary banal,

Prostitution on the streets

Prostitution on the streets

Prostitution on the streets

 

 

IV.               (Third Rape)

 

When in the course of human events

You are forced to hop the same old fence

To try and lower the defense

And forget everything that happened, past tense,

The long train of abuses

All the uses

They’ve subjected you to

What can you ever do?

You rage against the cycle

But you stay within

Doing over and over

Letting them work in

Letting them sin

On your chest

Against your breast

You can’t give it a rest

(even though you need that rest)

You know you’re cursed

And everyone else blessed

You might as well take the knife

Take the life

Feels so sharp the blade

Rushing down like a cooling glade

You want to drive on

You want to be gone

You want to but you stop

You’re so very afraid

Even though you want to be dead

Like you’ve always said

A snake eating itself

A snake eating its own head:

When in the course of human events

You are forced to hop the same old fence

To try and lower the defense

And forget everything that happened, past tense,

The long train of abuses

All the uses

They’ve subjected you to

What can you ever do?

Rattle against the cage

Let them see you rage

You’re not going to take this

They push you down

Give another kiss

A tear wells up in your eyes

What can you do but cry, cry, cry

Still cursing

Ever cursing

Cursing, cursing, cursing the sky

As he takes the dagger

Out of the sheath

Pops it on in

It’s a relief

He’s supposed to love you

How he says so

It feels so good

You hate it

It feels so bad though

Which way you feel

You can never know

The way you seem to glow

Down in the mud

After the act

Feel so used

So abused

So great and alive

Feeling again

That’s your soul fact

Eating the mud

A snake eating itself

A snake eating its own head:

When in the course of human events

You are forced to hop the same old fence

To try and lower the defense

And forget everything that happened, past tense,

The long train of abuses

All the uses

They’ve subjected you to

What can you ever do?

Still down on the ground

Floundering around

As new men come up

And they bend down

And they ready themselves

You cry out

As they start the fuck

 

In and out

In and out

Over and over

In and out

In and out

In and out

Over and over

In and out

 

When in the course of human events

You are forced to hop the same old fence

To try and lower the defense

And forget everything that happened, past tense,

The long train of abuses

All the uses

They’ve subjected you to

What can you ever do?

Still down on the ground

Floundering around

As new men come up

And they bend down

And they ready themselves

You cry out

As they start the fuck

When in the course of human events

You are forced to hop the same old fence

To try and lower the defense

And forget everything that happened, past tense,

The long train of abuses

All the uses

They’ve subjected you to

What can you ever do?

Rattle against the cage

Let them see you rage

You’re not going to take this

They push you down

Give another kiss

A tear wells up in your eyes

What can you do but cry, cry, cry

Still cursing

Ever cursing

Cursing, cursing, cursing the sky

As he takes the dagger

Out of the sheath

Pops it on in

It’s a relief

He’s supposed to love you

How he says so

It feels so good

You hate it

It feels so bad though

Which way you feel

You can never know

The way you seem to glow

Down in the mud

After the act

Feel so used

So abused

So great and alive

Feeling again

That’s your soul fact

Eating the mud

A snake eating itself

A snake eating its own head:

When in the course of human events

You are forced to hop the same old fence

To try and lower the defense

And forget everything that happened, past tense,

The long train of abuses

All the uses

They’ve subjected you to

What can you ever do?

You rage against the cycle

But you stay within

Doing over and over

Letting them work in

Letting them sin

On your chest

Against your breast

You can’t give it a rest

(even though you need that rest)

You know you’re cursed

And everyone else blessed

You might as well take the knife

Take the life

Feels so sharp the blade

Rushing down like a cooling glade

You want to drive on

You want to be gone

You want to but you stop

You’re so very afraid

Even though you want to be dead

Like you’ve always said

A snake eating itself

A snake eating its own head:

 

In and out

In and out

Over and over

In and out

In and out

In and out

Over and over

In and out

 

In and out

In and out

Over and over

In and out

In and out

In and out

Over and over

In and out

 

When in the course of human events

You are forced to hop the same old fence

To try and lower the defense

And forget everything that happened, past tense,

The long train of abuses

All the uses

They’ve subjected you to

What can you ever do?

Keep to the circle

Keep to the cycle

Keep raging on

But never stop to get out

No matter how you shout

Go back to father again

Go back and feel the pain

The sky opens with rain

 

V.                 Catatonic Excitement

 

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Oh yeah keep scratching yeah

 

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Oh yeah keep scratching yeah

 

Gone trip fish the life lead dinosaur

And the more you rock forth back I see

You blue man do rhyme to

And the second time ex

For you rope the

Seventh son is in the melon patch

Trip tip toe over

Motherfucker no

Excrete excrete

Beat on the street

Pave with shit and gold

And I keep rocking

 

Scratch myself

Itch myself

Blue moon

Myself myself myself

Caught groove phobia record

Dig it cat man

Fuck

Stuck

Shit

Out of luck

 

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Oh yeah keep scratching yeah

 

Feeling stealing sealing

Self in gin downed sin

Who can pin

Who can win

Fuck

Luck

Out of

Stuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck I’m

 

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Oh yeah keep scratching yeah

 

You should see scratch me

And the way slip tongue

Fuck and bag dog

The way you look along

I want to be

Against brown wall

Down hall

Sound fall

And see cultural

Make your baggage wait

Kitten down to fait

Jive like a janitor

Forget more

Than I forgot before

Then forget more

Then forget more

Scratch some more

Scratch more

 

Scratch myself

Itch myself

Blue moon

Myself myself myself

Caught groove phobia record

Dig it cat man

Fuck

Stuck

Shit

Out of luck

 

Continuing the clawing

Awing

Mawing at my eyes

My gait

The gallop of the giant ape

And on the plate

I see the dick

I want it in

Asshole

Cunt

Mouth

Ever quick

To make me sick

That ugly prick

To make me sick

Fuck me quick

With your dick

Your prick

To make me sick

Vomit vomit vomit

Sick sick sick

 

Gone trip fish the life lead dinosaur

And the more you rock forth back I see

You blue man do rhyme to

And the second time ex

For you rope the

Seventh son is in the melon patch

Trip tip toe over

Motehrfucker no

Exctere excrete

Beat on the street

Pave with shit and gold

And I keep rocking

 

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Oh yeah keep scratching yeah

 

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Oh yeah keep scratching yeah

 

Agitated

Fated

I am faded

Wish I had some booze

To get more jaded

To get sedated

From all the times of dated

 

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Oh yeah keep scratching yeah

 

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Oh yeah keep scratching yeah

 

Wanna be fucked

Wanna be a virgin

Want to choose

They guy I let in

Want to see myself

A star swinging

On bars singing

Wasted flinging

Wanna go back

Take back

Go back all track

Want to go back

Take back the fuck

Shit out of luck

I suck

Can’t go back

I needa go back

Go back one more fuck

Take back the fuck

That brought me down

To this place in the ground

Where they keep

Kicking me

Throwing me

Out to the sea

Where the sky

Looks you and I

And I cry moving up and down

And all around

Trying to escape

This cycle

These cycles

These cycles

Keep moving on

 

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Oh yeah keep scratching yeah

 

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Oh yeah keep scratching yeah

 

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Oh yeah keep scratching yeah

 

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Oh yeah keep scratching yeah

 

Agitated

Fated

I am faded

Wish I had some booze

To get more jaded

To get sedated

From all the times of dated

 

Continuing the clawing

Awing

Mawing at my eyes

My gait

The gallop of the giant ape

And on the plate

I see the dick

I want it in

Asshole

Cunt

Mouth

Ever quick

To make me sick

That ugly prick

To make me sick

Fuck me quick

With your dick

Your prick

To make me sick

Vomit vomit vomit

Sick sick sick

 

Wanna be fucked

Wanna be a virgin

Want to choose

They guy I let in

Want to see myself

A star swinging

On bars singing

Wasted flinging

Wanna go back

Take back

Go back all track

Want to go back

Take back the fuck

Shit out of luck

I suck

Can’t go back

I needa go back

Go back one more fuck

Take back the fuck

That brought me down

To this place in the ground

Where they keep

Kicking me

Throwing me

Out to the sea

Where the sky

Looks you and I

And I cry moving up and down

And all around

Trying to escape

This cycle

These cycles

These cycles

 

You should see scratch me

And the way slip tongue

Fuck and bag dog

The way you look along

I want to be

Against brown wall

Down hall

Sound fall

And see cultural

Make your baggage wait

Kitten down to fait

Jive like a janitor

Forget more

Than I forgot before

Then forget more

Then forget more

Scratch some more

Scratch more

 

Scratch myself

Itch myself

Blue moon

Myself myself myself

Caught groove phobia record

Dig it cat man

Fuck

Stuck

Shit

Out of luck

Shit

Out of luck

 

Feeling stealing sealing

Self in gin downed sin

Who can pin

Who can win

Fuck

Luck

Out of

Stuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck

Fuck I’m

 

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Oh yeah keep scratching yeah

 

VI.               (Finale)

 

Call from mother

On you’re her cell phone

“Hard time finding you”

“Mommy, I feel alone”

“Daughter come on home

Please come on home.”

 

Tormentor is gone

His soul moved on

If you believe in a higher place

He’s got some time

To make his case

Went to church every Sunday

Preacher thought him ace

But now he’s gone gone gone

Maybe we can all move on

 

Soon he dies
And she cries
Weeps over the grave stone

Wishes she could leave it alone

Wants to kick over the memory

Of betrayal at the home

 

At the wake

She starts to think

Hears the glasses clink

Through wet eyes does blink

“I love him so

I feel now

This I know

I don’t want to

But I need to

I have to love him

He torments me so

Though I hope

He rots below

And though

He rots below

Now I know

I love him so.”

 

Soon he dies
And she cries
Weeps over the grave stone

Wishes she could leave it alone

Wants to kick over the memory

Of betrayal at the home

 

“I always tried to please him

Even when it hurt so bad

I just needed a friend

A father

Not some abusive

Bastard dad

But I made do

As people do

Suffering through

This life I had

But I couldn’t run away

I couldn’t disobey

I couldn’t act so bad

I needed to please him

Even through the hate

Even through my fate

I still loved so strong

Though I know it’s wrong

I strongly, strongly loved me dad.”

 

Thank god that soon he dies
And she cries
Weeps over the grave stone

Wishes she could leave it alone

Wants to kick over the memory

Of betrayal at the home

 

Tormentor is gone

His soul moved on

If you believe in a higher place

He’s got some time

To make his case

Went to church every Sunday

Preacher thought him ace

But now he’s gone gone gone

Maybe we can all move on

 

Soon he dies
And she cries
Weeps over the grave stone

Wishes she could leave it alone

Wants to kick over the memory

Of betrayal at the home

 

“I loved him

Tried to please him

Tried so hard

Suffered so long

But never could appease him.”

And I keep thinking

I keep drinking

The same old things again

The same things after him,

“I loved him

Tried to please him

Tried so hard

Suffered so long

But never could appease him.”

 

After the funeral

She’s walking along

Her heart a flutter

Tears falling down

But still sings a song

Frolics a little

Her guard let down

As she wonders

Back streets of the town

Sashaying and singing

“He’s gone gone gone gone

Motherfuck it he’s gone.”

 

Tormentor is gone

His soul moved on

If you believe in a higher place

He’s got some time

To make his case

Went to church every Sunday

Preacher thought him ace

But now he’s gone gone gone

Maybe we can all move on

 

Walking on the stone

Pavement all alone

Thinking of his bones

Wasting away

All hours of the day

When a man steps out

He starts to shout

“Babe let me take you home”

She’s feeling so high

She can’t deny

Whatever he’s asks for

(She still thinks like a whore)

To agree she’s prone

They fuck right on the stone

Spilling seeds like Solomon

on his throne

 

Soon he dies
And she cries
Weeps over the grave stone

Wishes she could leave it alone

Wants to kick over the memory

Of betrayal at the home

 

Out another baby comes

Created when the man he cums

Walks away

Nothing to say

She’ll never see him another day

Done on the stone

No kind of throne

So happy she looses it

To goddamned prone

 

The baby is crying

Up to the sky

He wants to die

He’s ever hungry

He wants to drown

Himself

And all around

Just wants to jump in the sea

 

Then a word comes

In the form of a letter

Nothing gets good

Or ever better

The father he died

In some stupid shit

Looking for love

You haven’t found it

 

The baby keeps crying

Up to the sky

He wants to die

He’s ever hungry

He wants to drown

Himself

And all around

Just wants to jump in the sea

 

Soon he dies
And she cries
Weeps over the grave stone

Wishes she could leave it alone

Wants to kick over the memory

Of betrayal at the home

 

Looking for man

To raise her son

Thinks it’s over

But the cycles begun

Can’t escape ever

Not a one

Can’t escape at all

Not a one

 

Found a step

For her little kid

Overlooks the bad things

He always did

 

Found a step

For her little boy

A step that makes

Her son his toy

 

Watch him cry

Watch him cry

Watch him cry

That little child

Learning one can’t fly

Watch him cry

Watch him cry

Watch him cry

Ever staying

Ever praying to die

Watch him cry

Watch him cry

Watch him cry

 

“You know you want it,

Shit bitch of mine,

Shit you know you want it

You better stay in line,”

The father said.

 

“Don’t go down this road

Not again I don’t know

If I can take it

You can make it

Your vow don’t break it,”

The boy plead.

 

“Hush up girl,” slurs,

“You belong with curs,

A mating bitch,

Reach down and kiss,

For I do what I please

I do what I can

I take control

The rule of this man.”

 

Long hours you could hear

The child dripping tear

Long hours did he curse.

 

Scratches himself

Itches himself

Blue moon

Himself himself himself

Caught groove phobia record

Dig it cat man

Fuck

Stuck

Shit

Out of luck

 

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Feeling agitated yeah

Rockin back and forth

Oh yeah keep scratching yeah

 

A snake eating itself

A snake eating its own head:

And soon she too is dead

The boy left behind

The step takes over

Rapes his body and mind

His seed

Mingles with the fruit of hers

The boy thinks he’s feeling unwell

And like his mother

Sent right back to Hell.