"It is believed that..."
- I think.
"It is generally believed that..."
- A couple of my friends think so, too.
"It has long been known that..."
- I didn't bother to look up the original reference.
"While I have not found definite answers to these questions..."
- The data made no sense, but I'm publishing them anyway.
"It might be argued that..."
- I can answer this objection so well that I shall now raise it.
"Of great theoretical and practical importance..."
- Somewhat interesting to me.
"Of extreme purity, ultrapure..."
- Composition unknown.
"Qualitatively correct... correct within an order of magnitude"
"Three samples were chosen for detailed study..."
- The others didn't make any sense.
"Typical results are shown in figure 2."
- The best results are shown in figure 2.
"The most reliable values are given by Jones."
- Jones is a friend of mine.
"Subjected to controled stress during the experiment."
- Accidentally dropped on the floor.
"Handled with extreme care during the experiment."
- Not dropped on the floor.
"A discussion of the remaining data will be forthcoming..."
- Some of my results don't make sense.
"A complete understanding clearly requires much more work."
- None of my results make sense.
"I would be remiss not to thank Achibald Thackery for assistance with the
experimental aspects of this investigation and Dr. Samual Hirschfeld for
helpful comments during the analytical phase."
- Archie did all the work, and then Sam explained it to me.
(content copied from http://jrohwer.tripod.com/jokes.tech.translation.html - first seen printed on a wall on NBI )