A new restaurant opens

Do you eat out a lot and want excellent service?

When you go to a new restaurant, take a very small notebook, and place it just on the right hand side of your plate, with a pen on top, and keep on making notes.

The waiter will notice it, and mention it to the manager.

If they ask you why you are making notes, say very distinctly, you are making notes for yourself, it is nothing to do with the newspaper. (make sure you say "the" newspaper and not "a" newspaper).

You should get excellent service and may even get a brandy afterwards, "on the house".

It works for me...