The True Confessions of Alyssa Maree
because you probably didn't know.

Back to Hardboiled Integrity Blog

I was actually just taking a shower when I came up with this idea. Random things about me you probably didn't know because these aren't the kinds of things I go around telling people. Might be fun...

 

1. When I was in first grade, I wrote a letter, promising my PE teacher I'd never smoke. She gave me a poster. I'll never smoke.

2. Dove products make me feel beautiful.

3. I can't get enough office supplies.

4. I bought books months ago that I still haven't read.

5. My favorite scent is apple cinnamon.

6. I remember the first time I ever said the "f" word. I feel really bad about it.

7. If I lost something when I was little, I'd take my sister's stuff and pretend it was her's that was lost.

8. I think cussing is tacky.

9. I spend my Friday nights at home.

10. I love writing people letters and making them happy.

12. I like wearing socks with my sandals.

13. I used to think my stuffed animals had feelings. I'd apologize if I knocked one off my bed.

14. I like making people laugh.

15. My favorite breakfast is scrambled eggs made with cheddar cheese -- only the kind I make because it's healthier than the Derb.

16. I haven't been on vacation since I was a high school freshman.

17. I like sharing M&Ms with my friends.

18. I miss you.

19. I get extremely scared when I hear noises at night.

20. Someone charged over $400 to my debit card while I was on Bike Across Kansas (I had my card with me...) The bank reimbursed me, shredded my card, and put the number on the "Hot List." It was charged to "Edvinas Volkas Loc: Oxford." I got a new card.

21. College made me want to love people more.

22. Giving blood makes me feel like a hero.

23. I left an opera during intermission because my ticket was free and I hated it.

24. I hate being late.

25. I hate it when my passenger is talking on a cell phone while I'm driving (for more than 5 minutes).

26. I want to speak Spanish fluently, but I'm not going to minor in it so I can graduate in three years.

27. Helping people study makes me happy.

28. Someday I want to ride on the Orient Express.

29. I have really high expectations.

30. In high school, I made all my friends think I have a huge bubble. I really don't; I really like getting hugs from my friends. There are some people who it's just weird getting hugs from, though, and if you do hug me, give me a chance to get my arms free so I can hug back. And don't stick your feet under mine because if you catch me off-guard, I'll probably step on them and then I'll feel really bad about it. I really do like hugs.

31. My family has never been a touchy-family. We don't hug. If we started hugging now, it'd be weird.

32. I like to walk around campus in the mornings.

33. I really like Arby's curly fries, but they make me feel fat.

34. I vowed to ride my bike everywhere if gas prices ever topped $2.00/gal. That didn't work out.

35. Being at college helped me be less shy. I'm not very talkative, but I really do love to listen.

36. When I was in middle school, we used to have homeroom parties. My teacher would make it a contest to see how much I could eat. I gladly accepted the challenge every time.

37. I gained 25 pounds after my freshman year of high school.

38. Since I started college, (as of now... Feb. '09) I've lost 23 pounds.

39. I'm afraid to tell people how much I care about them.

40. Most of my makeup is CoverGirl. In high school, I rarely wore any.

41. I think my scars are ugly.

42. I love long hair and I feel good after I donate it.

43. My siblings both had acne; I never did.

44. As the middle child, I was supposed to be the "peace keeper." I started all the fights.

45. My brother and I used to call my sister "Parents' Pet" when we were little. Sorry, Erica.

46. When my parents gave us "the talk," we got to eat Oreos.

47. I think I'll be three credits short of meeting the College of Arts and Sciences honors requirements -- I don't really care.

48. I think about you all the time.

49. Sometimes I put on a brave face so other people won't see how upset I am.

50. I like to take pictures of myself and photoshop them.

51. My favorite movie is Milo & Otis. When I was little, I wrote a story called "Milo & Kate." In high school, I got a kitten named Milo and a best friend named Kate.

52. I wish I could truly open up to you.

53. In middle school I used to paint intricate designs on my fingernails. Now I hate having painted nails.

54. I don't have a very good sense of style. I'm okay with that.

55. I've had one poem and one essay published.

56. I love building things out of snow.

57. I really like chinese chicken, but I'm embarrassed to eat it because it's not very healthy.

58. I gave up soda pop in the 7th grade. A year ago, I started drinking diet. Now, I'll only drink light-colored diet so it won't stain my teeth.

59. I use Crest Whitestrips. They're pretty amazing.

60. I think touch is really powerful.

61. I like to sing in my car. Loudly.

62. When I was little, I'd lay on my bedroom floor in the sun . . . until my mom told me you couldn't get a tan through glass.

63. I was totally unaware of my body until the end of my freshman year of high school.

64. My fastest mile time was 6:53. Running is too mental for me to do it regularly.

65. Please hold the mayonnaise and mustard and pickles. Yuck.

66. I used to hate peanuts and oranges. Now, I love them both.

67. I still don't like Snickers.

68. When I was a freshman, I'd buy Butterfinger BBs almost every day after lunch the second semester. Maybe that's why I gained 25 lbs.

69. The day before regional track my senior year, I rode my bike 10 miles. At the track meet, I couldn't get off the ground for high jump and almost cried.

70. When it comes to upper-level math, I'm an academic bulimic. I would take it all in, get an A on the final exam, and forget everything I learned within a few months.

71. I hated swimming lessons when I was little. I'd cry and beg my mom not to make me go.

72. When Wal-Mart puts out the school supplies, I usually buy a new box of crayons, even if I don't need it, because they're so dang inexpensive.

73. When I read newspapers or magazines or see TV commericals, I correct the grammar and spelling mistakes in my head.

74. If I'm hungry, hot, or tired, I get cranky.

75. I think stars are incredible.

76. I think my brother looks a little like Jim Halpert from The Office.

77. My brother's pretty cool, in my opinion.

78. I have a relationship with Jesus Christ, and it's pretty wonderful.

79. I like doing crafty things like painting pottery or scrapbooking.

80. I save hundreds of dollars buying and selling my textbooks through Amazon.com.

81. I pick up loose change and save it to do laundry.

82. I pray for my future beloved.

83. Peanuts is my favorite comic strip. Calvin and Hobbes comes in a close second.

84. I enjoy listening to thunderstorms under Christmas lights with a close friend.

85. Hospitals scare me.

86. 1 John 4:7-8 are my favorite verses in the Bible. James is my favorite book.

87. I like the names Elaine and Olivia.

88. I used to take the credit when my sister unloaded the dishwasher.

89. I don't really like brownies or cake.

90. I have my waterbottle (including water) from State basketball in March 2006.

91. I love Cracklin' Oat Bran. Last semester, I ate it for breakfast every day.

92. Driving in big cities makes me nervous. I think Lawrence drivers are crazy.

93. I backed into a car once. Their car wasn't damaged so they just left. I left, too, but my back bumper is a little scraped up.

94. In November of my 5th grade year, I walked into the boys' bathroom for the first time. It was an accident.

95. November is my least favorite month of the year. (Not because of the bathroom incident, though)

96. I tried to purposely do poorly on a reading test in middle school so my teachers wouldn't make me do a lot of work. They assumed the computer testing had a glitch.

97. I've never gotten a speeding ticket. I can make the 120-mile trip to Manhattan in under 1hr 40 min.

98. It's been more than 150 days. 150 as of July 29, 2007.

99. I'm a procrastinator. I'll tell you more about that later.

100. I hate shopping.

101. I like country music. I used to hate it, but Kristin got me liking (some of) it.

102. I get lonely sometimes.

103. I'm pretty organized.

104. I'm a compulsive e-mail-checker.

105. I clip coupons.

106. When I watch 'Girl, Interrupted,' I cry.

107. I'll keep it to myself if I think it will hurt or bother someone else.

108. I want to spend a couple of months in Mexico.

109. I own a Cabbage Patch doll and dozens of Beanie Babies.

110. Conflict makes me upset.

111. One of the coolest things I did this summer was go to the Goo Goo Dolls concert. Lifehouse and Colbie Caillat were also there. I was like nine rows from the stage. It was amazing.

112. Don't comment on my driving if you're just the passenger. Unless you see someone coming up fast in my blind spot or I specifically ask for you to help me out on seeing where other cars are in big cities, just relax. Close your eyes and pray if you have to, but if you gasp enough times, I'll pull over and let you drive.

113. I really don't like bugs. I don't freak out when I see them, but I'm pretty good at calmly killing them quickly. And you know those "water beetles" (is that what they're called? that's what the kids call them) that you see at the pool all the time that are sometimes like the size of walnuts? Well, I hate them. They remind me of those bugs in The Mummy that crawl under your skin. *Shudders.*

114. I really like watching The Office. Even if I've seen the same episode several times, there's always something funny I didn't catch the time before.

115. Some things about my body: I wish I could change -- my rear end, my thighs (I'm such a woman); I absolutely love -- my long hair, my smile.

116. I'm afraid to love completely.

117. I don't understand comics a lot of the time. They're cute to look at, but I don't find them funny very often.

118. When I was pretty little, I was riding in the car with Kathy Zell. Erica was in the backseat saying, "Hey, look! My door won't open!" (She had child-locked doors). I was in the front seat. My door opened. On the highway. Kathy freaked out and pulled over. I thought it was an overreaction at the time...I had my seatbelt on. I was really embarrased, but being around little kids I love, I probably would have done the same thing.

119. It drives me crazy to be stuck behind someone driving under the speed limit and having traffic too heavy to pass.

120. I'm the slowest text-messager I know.

121. I was in the school spelling bee in 7th and 8th grade. Made it to the county bee both times. I never did better than 3rd place and got out on the words "tonsillectomy," "amateur," and "omission," and obviously another word, but I can't remember what it was. In our practice round, I asked for the word "cheese" to be used in a sentence. Got some people laughing; you know, to take off a little pressure.

122. I miss you like no other. More than I've ever missed anyone. And it kind of hurts sometimes.

123. Sometimes I'm not very confident about my chances of finding a good career with an English degree (especially since I'm not teaching). I joined a Facebook group called, "I Picked A Major I Like, And One Day I Will Probably Be Living in a Box."

124. I've ridden my bike across Kansas (from CO to MO) three times: 2000, 2003, 2007. I wasn't going to do it this year but I thought eight hours of exercise eight days in a row would at least make me lose some weight. I gained three pounds.

125. I'd rather be cold than hot. You can warm up, but you can't quite get rid of the sweat.

126. I used to cheat at Heads Up - 7Up.

127. I hate chain letters and bandwagon groups. You aren't going to meet your true love if you forward an e-mail to seven people, facebook will not shut down if you don't join their group, hotmail is not shutting down, etc., etc. Think you're being tricked by a claim? Check out snopes.com.

128. Sometimes I like to eat yogurt and pretend it's ice cream. Sometimes I've got to have the real thing: mint chocolate chip. (My favorite. Yum!) :-)

129. My weakness is double-stuf Oreos.

130. I consider myself to be a pretty good baker. (Not a cook...just anything that goes in the oven: meatloaf, cookies, cakes, banana bread, and cheesy biscuits.)

131. I'm afraid to tell people how I really feel about them -- not that I don't like them, because I really do like people; I wish I could tell them how incredible I think they are.

132. I don't like to go alone; anywhere, pretty much. Even if I'm meeting someone, I'd prefer to be with someone when arriving. Maybe that's because I've always had my sister around my entire life. I'll still go usually, I can deal with it, it's just awkward sometimes. Sometimes I don't go, though, and I hate that; but I don't stand people up, I just don't go to stuff like games and movies and stuff I'd like to go to but don't know who to go with. I think that's why I didn't go to Navs sometimes last year. There's like 500 people there, but sometimes I didn't have anyone to go with. I should just suck it up...

133. I own magnetic poetry. And for the first time since I've owned it, it's now on a refrigerator (my mini fridge). And I use it. And I think it's cool.

134. I'm kind of tight...I don't enjoy spending money. I actually hate shopping (#100), but not usually because of the money, because I think it's nearly impossible to find clothes that look good on me. And if I do find something I like, it's incredibly expensive.

135. I came up with a list of things we can do in Manhattan if we get bored: make cookies, go to the zoo, go swimming, play basketball, go to Tuttle Creek and look at the stars, go to the structures (because it was too dark last time), watch The Office (I have all three seasons now), write letters to each other for five years from now, ride bikes, draw/write with chalk, study at the library, go fishing, play a game (cards/board), draw, make origami, bake a cake, cover someone's room in post-it notes or aluminum foil, put someone's calculator in jello, self-checkout at Wal-Mart en espanol, carve a pumpkin, wrap ordinary items in boxes (like it's Christmas), on Thursday convince someone it's Friday, try conditioning someone (like Pavlov...ring a bell and they do something), make greeting cards, send someone letters from their future self, and finally (because I really need to go do my homework now), adopt a kitten...or at least go find some needing adopted and play with them for awhile.
136. When I used to feel sick, I only liked eating frosted strawberry Poptarts. They're horrible for you. I eat them every once in awhile, and they make me feel gross.

137. I get stuck working in the dining room at work a lot. I really don't like it. I suppose it's better than serving sometimes because you don't get hot and sweaty, but it's really boring. I wouldn't mind it if people went through the cereal and fruit faster so I could spend all morning refilling things, but they don't. So I stand back and refill bowls every few minutes. I'd rather be checking or working at Dashers, even panning cheese. I'm good at the dining room, though.

138. I can go days without a phone call from anyone except my mom.

139. I'm pretty bad at making friends. I'm schedule is pretty busy and I don't like to party.

140. As fun as being a triplet is, I like being on my own. I like making friends who don't know who my siblings are, who like me for me.

141. I'm pretty human. I need love.

142. I was going to give up junk food, but I'm not disciplined enough. Maybe for Lent. It's easier to do it when I'm not doing it for myself.

143. You know when you cry, how your nose gets all stuffed up? I hate that, especially when you just need a good cry and you start feeling better. Then you gotta stop and blow your nose to keep from getting your pillow all nasty. I'd prefer just the tears.

144. Sometimes I doubt the reliability of my cell phone. I don't trust that all the text messages I send ever make it to the intended recepient. This is a cause of much frustration.

145. I don't drink alcohol. Never have... 20 years sober, why do it now? I hate drunkenness and find it hard to respect people who get drunk. I can think of at least a hundred ways to have fun that don't involve drinking.

146. Sometimes I'm not sure I'm as strong as you think.

147. I enjoy rollercoasters, but nothing that spins. It makes me nauseated, though I've never thrown up. I just feel really sick like I'm going to throw up, which may be worse.

148. My favorite card game is one my sister taught me called "Nines." I can't exactly remember how to play it though. So if you ever want to play, we'll probably have to call her for directions.

149. I've taken up the habit of occasionally wearing a pedometer to try to get at least 10,000 steps a day. On a day that I work, I make 15,000 easy. Otherwise, I might have to take a longer trip to class, but it's totally do-able.

150. My dad got me an HP iPAQ for high school graduation. I use it all the time. It's basically a hand-held computer, complete with Windows Media Player, Word, Excel, Solitaire, the Internet (wireless), Bluetooth capabilities, pictures, contacts, etc. I put a 2GB SD card in it so I can listen to mp3s on my way to and from classes.

151. DayQuil makes me puke.

152. I probably waste half the bottle of eye drops when my eyes get red and itchy because I can't put them in. I miss like three times before finally getting those suckers to land on my eye. Then I just look like I'm crying.

153. I think Moore Hall should have a knock-out competition or three-point contest...or something. People rarely use the basketball courts considering how many people live here. It'd just be fun to get a lot of people playing knock-out at once.

154. I'm pretty good at faking confidence.

155. I suck at building relationships with other people, but I desire them very much.

156. All mint chocolate chip ice cream should be green. Hey ice cream companies, how hard is it to add some green food coloring?

157. I am a huge fan of really worn out, faded jeans (the real kind, not the kind you buy looking worn out) and comfy old t-shirts (strong ones, not the ones that wear thin, but the ones that are just softer with age).

158. I wish that I knew what I know now when I was younger.

159. I hate science. Actually, it's interesting but I'm just horrible at it. Ask anyone in my biochem lab group. We spend half the class time washing out tubes and starting over.

160. I've been to Iowa twice (to Cedar Rapids and Iowa City). I really like it. I think I would enjoy living there.

161. There is so much comfort in warm sheets straight out of the dryer.

162. Sometimes I still feel like a little girl.

163. I feel silly getting my picture taken.

164. Sometimes I don't study because I really don't care.

165. Spanish IV killed my passion for the language.

166. I like sitting in coffee shops with friends. Just sitting. And drinking my hot chocolate.

167. My split ends drive my crazy.

168. Drinking Mountain Dew reminds me of my Grandma Richwine. She used to have little bottles of it at her house when we were little and we got to drink them with big blocky ice cubes from blue trays in the freezer in tall fragile glasses with frosted owls painted on the side.

169. Automatic toilets are a pretty neat idea, but I hate when they flush while I'm still sitting on them!

170. Being in awkward situations makes me wish I could just get up and run or push a button that could make me disappear or make everything freeze like on TV so I can sneak away unnoticed.

171. I'm afraid I'll disappoint you.

172. I never knew it before, but decoupaging is a lot of fun. I think I'll go buy some glue and a brush and do it more often.

173. I'm not usually one to cry during movies or anything, but when I read the book Redeeming Love, I cried almost the whole time. I'm not sure if it was the book or other circumstances, but the tears were flowing like no other. I loved it.

174. Darkness still scares me sometimes.

175. Sometimes I find songs that say it so much better than I ever could. Then I listen to them over and over like a billion times.

176. If I got a new phone, lost mine, or dropped it in a toilet, I wouldn't beg you for your number. I have my contacts saved in an Excel spreadsheet. Maybe you should do the same.

177. I want to make a difference to someone.

178. I think it would be cool to train for a marathon or something on MTV's "Made." Just so I could see if I could be one of the few people who actually do that show without saying they want to quit halfway through. Are you kidding me? You're on TV. You've got a coach helping you pursue your goal...and you're not giving 110%?

179. Before going to college, I was scared about leaving home. Now, I hate coming home for an entire month over break. A weekend is good. Not a month.

180. I have things I've never told anyone about because I'm ashamed. And I want to beat them on my own. The scary part is, I don't think I can.

181. I usually fall asleep during movies. Don't turn it off just for me. I fall asleep because I feel safe. Tired, but safe.

182. Loving things like you has wrecked my life; made me cry. Loving things like you has made me lose my mind. And I can't figure out why I've been hanging on to all these things I've tried to leave behind me for so long. And I think it's time to find a better way to live my life than loving all these things that keep me wrapped so tight

183. I'm tired of loving all that money has to buy.

184. I'm the only one in my immediate family who hasn't had sex.

185. Loving things like you has left me bruised, black and blue. Loving things like you has left me so confused. And I can't figure out what I've been waiting on; God, I can't be living life for things I know are wrong. Now I think it's time to write a better chapter in my life.

186. I can't just suck on a Lifesaver's mint. I can't stop my teeth from chewing it up.

187. It's okay if you don't have the right words. Neither do I. I'll just hold your hand and maybe we'll both feel a little better.

188. I've never eaten pizza or hamburgers at the Derb. That's probably a really good thing.

189. Lately it's been really hard for me to remember things. This makes school tougher. And I sound like an idiot: "I don't know where she's at. She probably told me, but I forgot."

190. I just like being around people I know. It's okay if I don't join in on the conversation. I like to sit back and watch. It's like I can absorb the joy.

191. I have little self-control when it comes to Reese's Pieces. They're my favorite candy.

192. I like your choice of music.

193. I think it's time for me to get rid of some of my old clothes. And I need replacements, but I hate shopping. And I don't want to spend a ton of money. I kind of wish I could be on that "What Not to Wear" show. Because the first day they let you choose what to buy. And I would totally buy all the wrong stuff. Then the second day I'd let them pick some 'designer' stuff. Who pays more than $30 for jeans? Seriously.

194. I want to write a book about my life.

195. Triplets are better than twins.

196. I like coffee shops. But I don't like how they make my coats and clothes smell like coffee shops.

197. Sometimes I check my online bank account more than once a day because, even though I know I haven't made any transactions, I'm hoping some more money will magically be deposited.

198. Sometimes I write people e-mails about what's been going on in my life, but when I'm done, I just delete them because I think they wouldn't care to read it.

199. I chew a lot of sugar-free gum (mostly Orbit). I like spearmint; wintermint is my favorite and they both last awhile, but if I get something like cinnamon, bubblemint, or raspberry mint, they're good, but I think they lose their flavor too fast and if I'm not keeping busy, I can go through an entire pack in like a day or two.

200. I'm afraid to flirt with guys who I think are attractive because I figure every other girl must think the same and flirt, too. And I imagine he'd get tired of girls doing that.

201. I wish the networks would pay their writers more already. I miss The Office.

202. I wish Reese's pieces didn't have calories.

203. Woodstock is my favorite Peanuts character. I have a yellow T-shirt with him on it.

204. Yellow is not my color. I don't look that good in yellow, I think because I have blonde hair.

205. I'm pretty indecisive. It probably gets annoying sometimes. But most of the time it's not that I'm torn between one choice or another -- it's that I'm really impartial.

206. Sunshine heals. Or at least it makes me feel joyful.

207. I think you're beautiful but I'm not bold enough to say it outloud.

208. I figure they named watermelon after all the water in it. So I think they should call that vegetable wet-tuce.

209. I'm taking Intro. to Personal and Family Finance because sometimes I worry I'll never get married (and have a husband who'd want to handle the finances).

210. I'm getting into You because You got to me in a way words can't describe.

211. I'm usually aware of my calorie consumption. I used to count them a lot, so I know a slice of bread is 70, a Hershey's kiss is 25, and an apple sits around 80. Oatmeal: 110 (apple-cinnamon) or 140 (maple and brown sugar). Bananas: 105. Peanut butter: 90 per tablespoon. 1 c. skim milk: 80.

212. I like pancakes with peanut butter on them. No syrup, please.

213. I kind of want to go home so I can spend a weekend cooking whatever I want. I told my mom I won't go home until Spring Break, but I think I'll go March 1 for the ESU v. SBU game.

214. My heart feels unsettled. I can't read you, and I wish I could. I can't tell if you're disappointed in or frustrated with me, if I've done something wrong, or if you're just tired. I don't want to let you down, but I don't know what you expect of me.

215. I very much want to take a train from Topeka or KC to St. Louis. Who wants to go with me? Spring break maybe? Just for a couple of days. It's not so expensive, and it'd be so much fun.

216. My 20th birthday was the best one yet.

217. I don't think Facebook needs to ban friend invites. I think we need to teach our friends to hit the "Skip" button instead of sending us dozens of annoying invites. Our friends are the problem -- not the applications themselves! (Applications don't invite friends. Friends invite friends.)

218. I've been thinking about my love languages. Words of affirmation probably comes first because I struggle with believing lies, so when I hear encouraging words, it's like they have the power to scream at the lies, "Hey! I am truth! You are lie! Flee from her!" In a close second would be physical touch. I do not receive this often because there aren't a ton of people I know willing to hug and lay hands on backs and shoulders. I know it would be creepy if some people tried to love me in this way, but there are still friends who can just touch my shoulder and I feel like I melt under love.

219. I try to convince myself that I prefer living in the dorms because it's convenient and cheaper. I'm not sure it's cheaper (actually, I hear it's not). It's probably safer, but the real reason I think I'm not living in an apartment is because I have no luck at finding roommates.

220. It's 9:30pm. I'm thinking about taking a couple sleeping pills in hopes all that sleep will make me super-productive tomorrow. I'm so unmotivated to do anything. Bleh.

221. The stacks at Hale Library amaze me. I could spend hours just wandering through them I think.

222. I had tea and you had hot chocolate. You told me I looked so much happier. I am, but I wish I could have told you that I hide a lot of stuff. I still cry a lot.

223. I wish you'd have told me you didn't have a text-messaging plan. I assumed you did. Now I feel bad for all those messages. And you had to pay for them. I would have stopped if I would have known.

224. I don't like driving in the dark or in heavy precipitation. It makes me feel blind.

225. When I do drive (by myself), I really like to crank up my favorite mp3s and sing as loud as I can.

226. I always put my left shoe on before the right shoe.

227. When I see a commercial on TV that says "Go to our website for a free sample," I have to go. I can't help it. Something in me can't pass up a free product.

228. I think you're absolutely beautiful. Your personality, your heart, your attitude. I hope you know it.

229. Little known fact: Can't find an open computer at the library? They put one computer on every floor inside the stacks. I don't think very many people know this.

230. This is kind of embarrassing, and I don't know how to explain it, but ever since I was little, I've noticed that being in libraries (especially in places like the stacks) makes me have to poop. :-)

231. Great place for Bible study/quiet time: Hale stacks.

232. Great place to hide when you don't want to talk to anyone: Hale stacks.

233. I hate shopping (see #100). This is so frustrating to me. I don't know what it is about it -- the posters, the other people, or my non-existent sense of style, but stepping into a mall makes me feel very un-beautiful.
Sigh.

234. I'm very fast at solving sudokus.

235. I'm in love with Jesus! (I hope this isn't a little-known fact.)

236. I think I'm only photogenic about 7% of the time.

237. My friend had an incredibly comfortable pillow I tried out. I got two of my own. They are incredibly comfortable.

238. One year for valentine's day, my mom got me a blanket that has "snuggle up" printed all over it. I wish I had someone to snuggle with.

239. I'm very organized. I constantly make lists, draw out my schedule, or outline my ideas.

240. What gets me through an evening of studying? Chai tea lattes and sugarfree gum.

241. I'm not that excited about a career in English. I want to help people. I want to meet needs. I want to influence the lives of women "like nobody's business."

242. My roommate is one of the most beautiful women I've ever met.

243. I'm graduating a year early to save a lot of money, but sometimes I wish I could stick around because college is more comfortable and safe than the real world.

244. Melanie Dlabal (now Melanie Elizondo) cuts my hair. She's great at it. If you need your haircut, look her up.

245. I have a pot of pansies on my windowsill. They make me really excited when they bloom. "But a certain sign of grace is this: from the broken earth, flowers come up, pushing through the dirt."

255. 

256. My Grandma Richwine is awesome.  When my mom and my uncles were little, she gave them half and half to drink because they "needed the extra calories."  (They were twigs.)  When my siblings and I were little, my grandma would make us chocolate milk and fill the glasses probably 2" full of chocolate syrup before adding milk.

257. I very much enjoy napping in the sunshine.

258. I really do enjoy working at the Derb.  Sometimes I need time off but it's because of school/stress, not because I don't like working there.  It's been two years and I plan on coming back for another one.

259. I got ambitious earlier this semester and decided I was going to write a book about my life.  The next week, I was blank.  My Spanish III teacher wrote me, "Vives y luego escribes." (You live and then you write).  true 'dat.  Also, I've heard too many people are writing memoirs right now and it's really hard to get into the market.

260. College is so much better than high school.  Good thing I didn't know that in high school or I would have been a lot more miserable sitting in a building for seven hours.  I've met so many incredible people at K-State; sometimes I wish I wasn't graduating a year early.

261. I know a lot of people these days are all about gender equality and dismissing the traditional gender roles, but why can't a guy still be a gentleman? I don't really expect any guy to open the car door (other doors are fine) or push in a girl's chair for her (that's tricky), but how about offering to help carry something really heavy? Or even just holding the door open when she's carrying something heavy (or several heavy things)?

262. I don't like going to dances.  I feel awkward in dancing -- because I don't know what to do and because I'm 5'9.  

263. Sometimes when I'm alone in an elevator... I dance. :]

264. I'm the only one in my family who doesn't wear contacts.  I do, however, have reading glasses.

265. I love napping in the sunshine with a cool spring breeze.

266. Society has made a lot of stigmas about taboo subjects.  Too often, I buy into them.

267. On Sundays, I read the new Post Secrets at postsecret.blogspot.com

268. I'm still not sure what I want to do when I graduate.

269. I love you more than you'll ever know.  Really.

270. I pretend. . . . a lot.

271. Sometimes I feel like I can be myself more easily when I'm hanging out with a bunch of guys.  I think it's because I don't compare myself to them.

272. I don't drink (sober 20 yrs -- why stop now?).  Sometimes I wish I did, so I could loosen up and not be so shy...

273. You sing all the time -- I love it. You're so beautiful.

274. I'll miss you. A lot. And I know some nights I'll wish you were here.  And I'll curl up and cry.

275. I really enjoy randomly sending people mail, even if it's just a note saying "hello, how's it going?" or something. Everyone likes to get mail - so it's a sure-fire way to make someone's day.

276. I grew up around cats, but since I've been away at college, I've developed an allergy. Now when I go home my eyes instantly itch and I sneeze.  Weird.

277. I do not enjoy spending nights alone. It's quite lonely.  I don't care if the other person doesn't say a word to me; it's just the nearness. Comforting.

278. Crying makes me think I look ugly.

279. I'm learning a lot about love. Learning about love is pretty amazing.

280. Sometimes it bothers me when people stand in front of me at the Derb and talk about how every thing being served is gross.  Because maybe I do want to eat that entree, and I know you'll probably judge me for that.

281. Growing flowers makes me smile.  I used to have a garden when I was little: corn, tomatoes, strawberries, cantaloupe, watermelon, carrots, varieties of flowers, and surely stuff I just don't remember.  It was a good time.

282. I don't allow myself to buy granola bars because I'll seriously eat the entire box in one sitting.

283. I've had by ID card for two years and it's in bad shape, but I don't want to buy a new one. Today it was in my back pocket and I must have sat on it funny because it's about to snap in half.  I should get a new one before I leave for summer because they will probably raise the price again next year.

284. There are some foods I don't eat because even though I've never tried them, I just assume I don't like them.  I recently tried some I thought I didn't like: kiwi (good) and maraschino cherries (not good). 

285. Something I'd secretly like to buy but probably won't because I'd feel guilty for doing it: an Nintendo 64 with four controllers and Diddy Kong Racing game...also Yoshi and maybe 1080 snowboarding.  My favorites growing up. The console + controllers are about $30 on eBay and the games are $10-15 each. So inexpensive.  Yay for self-control... 

286. I feel inadequate a lot.

287. I think it's time to face my junk, to take my superwhatever out back and shoot it.

288. I like it when my friends scratch my head. Weird, but it feels amazing.

289. My friend gave me her T-shirt to wear in Jax.  I love wearing it. I like this idea of wearing shirts that originally belonged to my friends. We should swap more often.

290. I want to love people, but I'm not always sure what that looks like.

291. I don't have a TV at school, and I went two months in Florida without a TV.  I got home, watched some, and realized, "Wow, this is trash." I'm considering giving up TV for a year. I can read my news online.  There's so much bad stuff and sex on TV. Trash in = trash out.

292. I was introduced to chai lattes six months ago. I'm drinking four cups a day. (This can't be good!)

293. I can't wait to move all my stuff out of my mom's house.  Having my stuff there makes me feel like I'm still tied down.

294. I have no idea what I want to do when I graduate.  The door is wide open. It's a great feeling.

295. When I got back from Jax, I realized I have so much...stuff.  I don't need it. I want to box it up and sell it. Or donate it. Which is probably what will happen when I graduate and get a place of my own. :-)

296. I'm really convicted about supporting people who want to help people, love people, and serve our God.

297. The hardest people to speak up to are the people you know the best.

298. I'm okay with letting a man do a man's job.

299. I wish I was a good singer.

300. I wish people would love each other more. Anonymity makes it too easy to be mean.

301. It's possible I have middle-child syndrome.

302. After normal childhood doctor visits, I rarely went (relatively) when I was sick. I think I should go now, but now that I'm in college, I'm clueless about how to find a doctor to go to.

303. Calling places and setting up appts (doctor, car repair, haircut, etc.) makes me anxious. I hate doing it.

304. I have an electric blanket. I like to "pre-heat" my bed before I climb in.

305. I was home for an entire month and my mom waited a week after I left to get a kitten. Because it's not easy for me to drive four hours round trip to visit it, deep down I'm a little bitter.

306. Sometimes I just want to be held.

307. I'm not the best at following through. It's anxiety, I think. Sometimes I'll even walk all the way there, and then turn around at the last second and walk back home.

308. It's genetic.

309. I'm not overly passionate about literature, which is frustrating when I'm reading so much for this "English, emphasis in literature" major. I told my advisor I wanted to be an editor. She said this was the way to go. I trusted her.

310. I was afraid my sister and I were going to graduate on the exact same Saturday and my parents would have to pick whose graduation to go to (different states). My dad and Karen picked Erica (obviously so did JR's family); my mom picked me. I was a little jealous because it would be Erica's: JR, JR's parents, Dad, and Karen. Mine: Mom.  My mom recently found out my graduation is a week before hers. We both did it in three years, and she'll graduate with two majors (I think?) but I still feel like walking first means "I win."

311. The competition is all in my head. And most of the time, really, it no longer exists.

312. Beauty magazines make me feel ugly.

313. I believe in the long-term benefits of sunscreen.

314. Apparently the scale at Lafene adds 13 pounds. Thank goodness; I was afraid I'd have to go on a diet.

315. When I eat peanut M&Ms, I bite the chocolate away from the peanut and save the peanuts for later. I don't like chocolate + peanuts together. But separately, they're fine.

316. I have a pair of brown flip-flops that I love...so comfortable. Unfortunately, I don't wear them a lot because I don't like my feet.

317. Most of the time, it's just easier not to.

318. One of my classes has 12 plays and five movies required. Instead of buying all those books, I checked them out at libraries. Hopefully I can just renew them all semester. Yay for free.

319. Spaghetii-Os (Original): I hate to admit it, but I do like them. Sans meat.

320. Pillowcases: yay for clean ones but I do not enjoy putting them on pillows. I'm bad at it; they never go on straight.

321. I have a credit card. They gave me a $300 limit. Woot.

322. It's very difficult for me to put on a black strapless bra without laughing. It's just this image I get... my chest is wearing sunglasses.

323. I do a really good job not showing it when I'm disappointed. I don't want to make other people feel bad.

324. I'm tight with my money.

325. I think my blog would be more honest if I knew my family didn't read it.

326. I want to work at Hallmark in Kansas City: writing/editorial department.

327. When I see other people...best friends... I'm jealous. I don't feel like I have anyone here, like I don't belong.

328. I wish I was a photographer because sometimes I see something really amazing and have no effective means of capturing it. I'm trying to sharpen my writing skills, but as cliche as it is, pictures are worth a thousand words.

329. A cold glass of skim milk is great. Milk in my chai tea -- excellent. But I hate unscrewing milk jugs because of all the dried milk flakes that fall off when you unscrew the lid. Gross.

330. I'll turn 21 in February 2009. I don't plan on drinking. I have zero desire to. I think it's the whole "everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial thing." That, and I've seen alcohol make fools of respectable people.

331. There is no one else for me, none but Jesus.

332. Oh, how I enjoy a good sweet potato. Yay for fall.

333. Most people who can give blood, don't. I'm willing to, but when I try and my iron isn't high enough, I feel slightly angry at my body because it makes me feel inadequate. I'll try in a week so I'm packing in the iron now: Total cereal, oatmeal, leafy greens, red meats, etc.

334. I got a 101% on my first physics test! Yes, it's a very basic-level class, but the average was a 76! I think it helps that I sit toward the front. This class makes me feel smart.

335. It's lonely at night. I miss having people to say "good night!" to.

336. I am no longer a Derby Dining Center employee. 4.375 semesters there ended like this: new students making $0.05 less than me and low employee morale (for me, at least). Tell the workers you appreciate them. It's a thankless job. I quit at the right time; I understand how postal workers are driven to "going postal."

337. Because I waste enough time on the Internet anyway, I've been taking online surveys from Viewpoint Forum for the last couple of years. You rack up points and then cash them out. I've probably received nearly $50 in checks in the mail over the last couple of years and the surveys are relatively short. Sweet.

338. I miss Kristin.

339. Every year, the Navigators have this conference in early January called "Greek Ski" for all the students living in sororities and fraternities to go to Colorado and ski and learn about Jesus. Well, I'm not Greek. And I like to ski and learn about Jesus. Why can't they have a conference called "I'm-Not-A-Greek Ski" for the rest of us?

340. She said, "I don't know how to love you." It screamed, "You're unlovable!" I left. But really it was her walking away. Whatever happened to grace and peace? Why do we choose to just give up on people? Because it's easier?

341. No, I cannot make a hippopotamus. (Job 40:15)... but God can.

342. I'm a triplet....my 16th birthday was the only time I've had my own cake. (Since being in college there has been no cake...I'm not really a fan-- I do love ice cream cake though, the kind with only ice cream!) This year, my big 21... all the birthdays in the house (three) will be in February...the last half of February, actually. It'll be a party up in there.

343. I don't think I'll drink on my 21st birthday. I despise drunkness, but if you're of age, I won't judge you if you drink. I just don't understand it, I guess. I can have fun without being drunk. And alcohol is expensive. "Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial." How might I glorify the Lord while drinking? Plus, I think my personality would make me too vulnerable to excessive drinking. I'm not that great at things in moderation.  Oh, and I heard alcohol doesn't taste that great. 

344. Please don't call me "ma'am." I'll make an exception if you're at least 10 years younger than me, but otherwise it's just weird. Today a guy at Radina's asked, "Ma'am, is someone sitting there?" I know he was just trying to be polite, but "Hey, is someone sitting there?" would have been just fine. Thanks. :-)

345. I have one wish for my 21st birthday: mint chocolate chip ice cream with Kristin. 

346. Sometimes I just want to get away. A quiet, comfortable place somewhere where I can spend the night, spend quality time with God, and have time to think and write. If I had a lot of money, it might be nice to go get a nice hotel room for a night or two somewhere.

347. Favorite chapstick: classic Spearmint.

348. I'm usually on time. I hate being late. Most of the time, I'm early. I like allowing time for unexpected things (... like closed exits and/or huge accidents in Kansas City).

349. Some people think Thank You notes are unnecessary, a waste of time and paper and postage. I am not one of those people -- especially when it comes to significant events. To thank someone for thinking of you or giving something to you (especially financial support) takes two minutes and it doesn't hurt; often it means a lot.

350. I'm learning a lot this semester. And 90% of it isn't coming from my professors.

351. My favorite color to wear is brown.

352. Some of my favorite days are the days when I can put on jeans and a sweatshirt and still feel beautiful.

353. I'm not very good at showing or telling people how much they mean to me. I hope they know.

354. In June 2007, I started selling books on Amazon.com, just occasionally when the semester ended. To date, I've sold more than $1,200 worth of items.

355. Besides just not wanting to drink alcohol, I officially have a legit reason. My medicine says, "Do not drink alcohol while taking this." 

356. I'm waiting for my hair to grow back out. It's at this very awkward in-between stage and I don't really know what to do with it.

357. Living at the ATM is rockin'.

358. A timeless mystery: how wires (especially Christmas lights and headphones) can get incredibly tangled while sitting in a box.

359. I wish Christians would stop using "I'm not a counselor" as an excuse to stop helping people. I don't care if you don't have a degree in psychology. We are all capable of giving counsel to some extent.

360. I cry when I hear my grandma is crying because her cancer medicines make her forget where she put her TV remote.

361. Hugs are underrated.

362. I'm ready for warm weather. I hate being cold.

363. I feel like I've gained a lot of wisdom in college. Not grown up necessarily because I often still feel like a kid or wish I still was and didn't have to face big decisions. But I feel like I know a lot more about how people are.

364. I wrote a satirical piece for my writing group about socially acceptable emotions. I hate how society treats emotions, but I do it too. As a result, I hide my feelings. I feel like such a fake.

365. My dad and stepmom gave me a Garmin for Christmas. It's my new best friend when I'm in the car.

366. I'm too selfish. But God's not done with me yet.

367. I love KC and my friends there.

368. Some of the questions for health screenings include, "have you neglected your personal hygiene?" This always seemed bizarre to me. I am not a fan of being stinky or having greasy hair. But this morning, I woke up and did not want to shower. What's enjoyable about taking off your clothes and getting cold and wet? So I didn't. I went to class without showering. (Don't worry, I have since showered)

369. I am a sheep when it comes to sharing my faith.

370. Being around the ATMers (Matthew, Tim, Alecia, Shoff) has taught me a lot, especially when it comes to conservation. Who knew you could wash ziploc bags and reuse them?

371. I'm learning so much from Shoff and her life. She's amazing.

372. Something about being four months away from graduating makes my future feel very scary.

373. I deeply desire to be understood and loved.

374. I deeply desire the ability to understand and love others.

375. I read a lot. I've kept a list of all books I've read since 2004: here.

376. I am currently unemployed. My job is looking for a post-graduation job.

377. I saw a news story about food stamps in Louisiana. A single person qualifies for $176/mo. for food. I get by on $125/mo.

378. I have a scar/dent in the middle of my forehead. For years it was a subtle chicken pox scar. Then just before my senior year of high school, I dropped something getting out of my car and nailed the middle of my forehead on the corner of the car door. It cut deep and hurt a lot. 

379. I wish I were better at staying in touch with people. I think about people a lot, but I want them to know it.

380. I don't really like talking on the phone. I'd rather have a coffee date.

381. Big crowds make me anxious.

382. I want to go back to Jacksonville.

383. I think it would be sweet to learn sign language.

384. I want to spend a month in Seattle.

385. I don't know how to sew.

386. Between my sister and my dad, I don't plan on ever doing my own taxes.

387. I want to cook dinner for a large group. (Living at the ATM makes this easily attainable)

388. I live with two guys.

389. When I get my own place, I want to get a kitten.

390. I've never seen a KU game at Allen Fieldhouse.

391. I want to write a song.

392. I can recognize correct pitches, but other than that, I'm not at all musically gifted.

393. I'm jealous of people who can make sweet videos and take great photos.

394. I want to  learn to love and expect nothing in return.

395. I want to love people well.

396. Since I'm not good at taking photos, I grab others' and edit them in Picnik.

397. I'm pretty good with Microsoft Word. They say most people don't even use 10% of what Word is capable of doing. I believe it.

398. I like Firefox better than Internet Explorer. Firefox underlines words if they are misspelled, so you don't look like an idiot.

399. I don't think I will ever buy a Mac. I grew up on PCs and this is where my loyalty lies.

400. I'm one of those people who will tell the same story over and over again. Usually it's because I can't remember who I told it to. If I ever start to tell you something twice, please stop me.

401. I like having my head massaged. (They do this where I get my hair cut.)

402. I had a paper route from 2nd-7th grade.

403. I recently discovered I cannot handle very spicy foods. Spicy foods, okay. But emphasis on the very. Aka, Ann's stir-fry and Henry's "White Fire" chili. This revelation came after a night of throwing up.

404. I was named after my great grandma Alice.

405. Last summer, I worked for two months at the Hyatt Regency Riverfront - Jacksonville as a room attendant (aka housekeeper). It was hard work, but I really liked it. I'm pretty much a pro at making beds (but I hate making mine at home).

406.  I have shoplifted (when I was little, in elementary school. I knew it was wrong.)

407. I hate it when people yell. I don't yell, even when I'm excited about something.  (Exception: someone is in danger and I have to let them know.)

408.  I have too much stuff. I wish I could just get rid of most of it.

409. I have a strange food addiction pattern. I find something I really like (usually not incredibly good for me) and eat large quantities of it before going cold turkey. Eating a lot makes me sick out it, so I will never/rarely eat it again. For example: Reeses pieces and soon to be chocolate animal crackers.

410. I am realizing how grateful I am for being able to live at the ATM. It's very wonderful. Wonderful enough to make me forget the horridness of 2.5 years of dorm life.

411. I keep all the greetings cards and letters I receive. I have shoeboxes full of them.

412. When I was little, I'd watch the ushers place the offering plates on the altar at church. The pastor always talked about giving back to God, and I genuinely thought the money was left there and God made it disappear.

413. I have a very detailed stat counter and think it's a little creepy that someone from Rogers, Arkansas has visited this page 189 times since September. I don't think I know anyone in Rogers, Arkansas. Seriously, I'd feel a lot better if I know who you are. I won't judge you for being interested in my confessions. ;) Shoot me an e-mail.