In the name of Allah, Most Compassionate, Most Merciful,
The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him
& give him peace) is a manifestation of the Mercy of Allah Most
High. He was sent as a mercy to all humanity, as the Qur'an states. The
Shariah is the guidance Allah Most High sent the Prophet (Allah bless
him & give him peace) with, to bring humanity out from darkness of
confusion and bewilderment to the light of charity. Its rulings are all
for the benefit of humanity, for, as Allah reminds us,
"O mankind! You are the poor in your relation to Allah. And Allah!
He is Absolutely Free of Need, the Owner of Praise." (Qur'an, 35:15)
The regulations related to male-female interaction are essential to
the very soundness of human civilization. If ignored, they threaten its
Islam is not just a true religion but also a social order that
enables individuals to attain the cherished goal of material happiness
and welfare in the world and to prepare them for the next world through
righteousness and virtuous deeds.
Islam removes the possible causes which may breed corruption. It
strikes hard at the root of evil and suggests measures which may bring
about peaceful, happy and harmonious relations among the Muslims.
It discourages free and unbridled contact between men and women in
order to check the consequences of undesirable impulses. It puts
restraint to such impelling forces which might play a disastrous role in
degenerating the mind of young men and women.
The sexual instinct is the greatest weakness of the human race. That
is why Shaytan selected this weak spot for his attack on the believer.
The husband and wife are working in different places in an
atmosphere of free mixing of the sexes. Sometimes it leads to unlawful
contacts with strangers and ultimately to divorce and the destruction of
We can see for ourselves the disastrous outcome of giving unlimited
freedom for mixed gatherings. Allah Almighty has created this attraction
which exists between the sexes for each other. This cannot be denied.
Where there is free mixing, this natural instinct will be aroused at
sometime and lead to the committing of sin.
Therefore, Islam takes the preventive measure rather than suffer the
consequences. This is also one of the principles of Islamic
Jurisprudence, namely 'blocking the means' (sadd al-Dhara'i). This is
based on the idea of preventing an evil before it actually materializes,
and is taken from the heart of the guidance of the Qur'an and Sunnah
that, "Preventing harm is given precedence even to achieving possible
The harms of adultery, fornication and things that lead to it have been explained in detail in the Qur'an:
Allah Most High says in Surah al-Nur:
"Say to the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their
modesty. That is purer for them, and Allah is aware of what they do. And
say to the believing women to lower their gaze and guard their
modesty." (Qur'an, 24:30-31)
Similarly Allah says in Surah al-Ahzab:
"When you ask them [i.e. the wives of the Prophet (Allah bless him
& give him peace)] for anything then ask from behind a screen
(hijab). This is a mean s f or greater purity for your hearts and their
hearts." (Qur'an, 33:53)
Imam Abu Abd Allah al-Qurtubi (Allah have mercy on him) writes in his famous exegesis of Qur'an, al-Jami` li Ahkam al-Qur'an:
"This verse indicates the permissibility to ask and converse with
the wives of the Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace)
from behind a screen or a curtain. All Muslim women would be bound by
the same guidance. (Qurtubi, al-Jami` li Ahkam al-Qur'an, 14:227)
Also in Surah al-Ahzab, Allah Almighty says:
"O wives of the prophet! You are not like other women, if you are
god-fearing. So do not be soft in speech. Lest in whose heart is disease
should be moved with desire." (v. 32)
This verse clearly indicates that men and women should not talk
unnecessarily and when they do so, the both the content and manner of
conversation must be appropriate, and free of anything inciting.
The Guidance of the Beloved of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace)
The Prophet (Allah bless him and give him peace) dealt with the issue of male-female relations at length:
1) Imam Abu Dawud and Imam an-Nasa'i relate from Sayyida A'isha
(Allah be pleased with her) that she says: "A women extended her hand
from behind a curtain to hand a piece of paper to the Prophet (Allah
bless him and give him peace). The Messenger of Allah pulled his hands
back and said: "I don't know if this is a man's hand or a women's hand."
A'isha said that it was a women's hand.
This Hadith is clear, in that the Companions of the Prophet (Allah
bless him and give him peace) used to observe separation (Hijab) in a
way that there used to be a curtain or a veil between the sexes. If free
mixing was acceptable, then there was no need for this. Besides, if
such separation was against the spirit of the Shari'ah, the Messenger of
Allah would have certainly pointed it out to her.
2) Imam al-Bukhari and Imam Muslim narrate in their Sahih from Uqba
ibn Amir (Allah be pleased with him) that the Messenger of Allah said:
"Do not go near (non-Mahram) women." A person inquired: "What about
in-laws?" The Messenger of Allah (Allah bless him and give him peace)
responded, "The in-laws are death."
The Prophet of Allah (Allah have mercy on him) compared male in-laws
to death. This means that one should be even more careful with in-laws
with regards to interaction as there is greater risk for Fitna,
especially given the comfortable, social atmosphere in which both
parties may lower their guard and forget lowering their gazes.
3) Imam Muslim narrates from Jarir ibn Abdullah (Allah be pleased
with him) who says: "I asked Allah's Messenger about the sudden glance
on a Non Mahram. He commanded me that I should turn away my eyes.
4) Buraida reported that the Messenger of Allah said to Ali (Allah
be pleased with him): "O Ali! Don't allow your glance to follow a
glance, because the first (glance) is forgiven and not the second."
(Narrated by Tirmidhi, Abu Dawud and Imam Ahmad)
The above mentioned [and other] verses of the Qur'an and sayings of
the Prophet (Allah bless him & give him peace) indicate the
importance of observing the proper limits of gender interaction.
The following are the rules deduced from the Qur'an and Sunnah
regarding the social behaviour of men and women, as outlined by the
a) Both men and women should dress properly and modestly, such that
their nakedness (awra) is covered with loose clothing that does not
define the shape of the limbs below. This, of course, includes women
being in proper hijab, both avoiding tight-fitting clothing;
b) Men and women who are not immediately related should not talk to
each other unnecessarily. When there is a genuine need (such as work or
education) to talk, the conversation should be in a modest, restrained
manner, and be limited to the extent of the need;
c) It is from the guidance of the Prophet (Allah bless him and give
him peace) that women cannot wear fragrances that might catch the
attention of strange men;
d) Both men and women should lower their gazes. It is disliked to
look at someone young of the opposite sex even without the fear of
desire; when one even fears desire, it is impermissible to look;
e) Particular care must be given to one's interaction with in-laws,
relatives, and others one is likely to have sustained contact with, such
In the light of the above, we can see that the free intermingling of
both the sexes is not allowed. Islam enjoins on both men and women to
cast down their looks in presence of each other. How is it possible for
men and women to meet freely in dinners, tea parties and other social
events with looks cast down? There is not a single instance in the
history of early Islam of men and women being allowed to meet each other
freely in any social, political or religious gathering. Even in the
Masjid, men and women had their separate rows at the time of prayers.
The Hadith considers free mixing with in-laws as death, as there is a
greater risk of Fitna.
In one narration, listening to the voice of a woman with lust has
been termed as adultery. The scholars have debated whether the voice of a
woman is Awrah, although according to the Hanafi Madhab it is not
considered Awrah, but it shows the importance of keeping away from free
mixing. If a young woman says Salam to a non-Mahram, he should reply
within himself and not let the woman hear his reply. (See "Taqrirat" of
Rafi'i on the "Hashiya" of Ibn Abidin)
Allama Ibn Abidin writes in his Radd al-Muhtar:
"If one fears Fitna or lust, then it will be Haram for him to look
at the face of a woman. This was in the early days. However, in our
times (Ibn Abidin's), one is not allowed to look at the face of a
non-Mahram woman, not because it's part of the Awra, rather due to
Fitna." (Radd al-Muhtar)
It is thus clear that Islam insist on the segregation of sexes to
the utmost extent compatible with individual and collective
self-preservation. Its pattern of society is one in which men and women
do not intermingle too freely. If intermixture becomes necessary at any
time, then too much freedom must be avoided and all the rules and
conditions must be observed.
In conclusion, mixed gatherings are not permissible. Men and women
must sit apart from each other. If they sit apart and there is no free
mixing (as was also mentioned in the question), then it will be
permissible. May Allah guide us to the straight path, Ameen.
And Allah Knows Best
Muhammad ibn Adam
Leicester , UK