The Wild Rover

Well, I’ve been a wild rover for many a year,

And I’ve spent all my money on whisky and beer.

And now I’m returning with gold in great store

Should I swear I will play the wild rover no more?

And it’s no, nay, never

No, never, no more

Will I play the wild rover

No, never, no more.

I went to an alehouse I used to frequent

And I told the landlady my money was spent.

I asked her for credit; she answered me “Nay.”

She said “custom like yours I can get any day.”

I took from my pocket ten sovereigns bright,

And the landlady’s eyes opened wide with delight.

She said “I have whisky and wines of the best.”

She unbuttoned her shirt and she showed me her chest.

I went to my parents, confessed what I’d done,

And I asked them to pardon the prodigal son.

And as they carressed me, as oft as before,

Should I swear I will play the wild rover no more?

I went to the market with my uncle Jim

And somebody threw some tomatoes at him.

“Tomatoes, tomatoes,” you say with a grin,

Well, these fuckers killed him - they came in a tin.

I climbed up mount Everest, all covered with snow,

And lying there, naked, was Marylin Monroe.

I asked her, politely, “can I fill you with cream?”

She said “do what you like, cos it’s your fucking dream.”