No Balls At All

Come you old drunkards give ear to my tale,

This short little story will make you turn pale,

Its about a young lady, so pretty and small,

Who married a man who had no balls at all.

No balls at all, no balls at all,

Who married a man who had no balls at all.

The night of the wedding she leapt into bed,

Her breasts were a-heaving; her legs were well spread,

She reached for his penis, his penis was small,

She reached for his balls; he had no balls at all.

Mother, Oh Mother, oh pity my luck,

I’ve married a man who’s unable to fuck,

His tool bag is empty, his screwdriver’s small,

The impotent wretch has got no nuts at all.

Oh daughter, Oh daughter, now don’t feel sad,

I had the same trouble with your dear old dad,

There’s many a man who will come to the call,

Of the wife of the man with no bollocks at all.

Now the daughter she followed her mother’s advice,

And found the proceedings exceedingly nice,

An eleven pound baby was born in the Fall,

But the poor little bastard had no balls at all.