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The truth about cats...
Found a funny catlist on cats in facebook I would like to share.... This is so true LOL 1) What humans is for: Humans have four primary functions: * to feed you * To play with you * Give you the attention you require * And to clean the litter box. It is important to maintain their dignity when you're with people so they will not forget who is the ruler of the house. You can learn them if you start early and have great patience. Then you will have a well-functioning household. 2) The Doors: Never allow any closed doors. To open the door, stand on hind legs and banging with forefeet on the door. When the door opened well, it is not necessary to use it. Stand in the doorway and not move on you. This is especially true if toilet was occupied, and you managed to get toliletvisitor to open the door. If you choose to go in and shut the door, demand immediately to go out again. It helps not to bang or scratch on the door, jama as high as you can! 3) The toilet: Always follow the human into the toilet. It is not necessary to do anything, just sit there and stare. This rule applies especially when your people have guests. 4) Beds and carpets: If you feel that you have to throw up, go immediately to a bed, preferably one with vague bedspread. If you do not get there i time choose the most difficult to wash the carpet instead. Make sure your back when you are sick, so that the creature spread. Like vomit several times in different places on the carpet. Choose a wretch like stained carpets and bedspreads, so that no creature can be seen. 5) To move around: If you must move, make sure you run as fast as you can and as close as you can in front of your man. This rule applies especially in the stairs, when your human carrying something in the dark or when people just got up in the morning. This will help people practice their coordination skills. 6) To help: One of the cat's main tasks is to help its people. Often, however, call the human the task of "getting in the way", but it means exactly the same as "help". Humans needs help in many different situations, so here are tips on the most common "to help" the situation: a) Cook: When your human is cooking, sit behind one of your humans heel. You are not seen and therefore you have more chance of being trampled on and then picked up and comforted perhaps by a morsel or two. b) Bookreading: Try to help your human with bookreading by positioning yourself between the book and the man's eyes. This rule applies only if you can not lie across the book. c) Paperwork: Lie down on paper so that most of this is hidden in you, or at least the most important part. Pretend you are asleep, but every now and then sticking out your paw and strikes on the pen. The workers will try to distract you, ignore it and continue. Remember that the goal is to get in the way as much as possible and avoid work. d) Computers Work: The computer work can help the humans in several ways. Often people write on the keyboard, help her with this by walking over it. Ask yourself, better still, still in the middle of the keyboard. This helps you in two ways. Firstly, you can quickly fill an entire document with a single letter, and you prevent your man can see the computer screen. A third way to help with computer work is to present himself at the top of the screen and cover that with paws and tail. NOTE! This requires that your man has a slightly older computer. Do not try to lie on a flat screen! Is your man a laptop, it is excellent that the tang on the table, lean forward across the screen and chewed a bit on one corner. 7) How to play: Sleep well during the day so that you drop spawn during the night. Below are some of the major cat games scheduled. If you could make a small mistake during the game and, for example, fall off a chair, play, unmoved. Immediately begin to lick any body part and look as if it was actually supposed to happen. Humans always fall for this. a) Capturing the mouse bed: Humans tries to get you to believe that what is going on under the covers are their feet and hands. Do not believe this ... There are actually bed mice, which are claimed to be the tastiest mice in the world, even though no cat so far has managed to capture one. A good way to get a bedmlouse is trying to pull itself into the duvet cover with the help of its claws. If the humans is screaming, it depends on bedmouse ran over her legs. b) Running Competition: This game requires you to have a cat friend. Appropriate time to begin the running game is great when your people are asleep. Take the bullet and run everything you can eat right through all the rooms. Beds are obstacles to be crossed from the head end to foot end. Take a big leap as you land in the humans face, then take three long strides, one in the stomach, one on the legs and feet, before crashing onto the floor and continue to the next room with a bed in. This game makes you get more close to your human. Those who havTaiyou & Jaina have a little chat (5 26)
Remamian Takashi walks up the the door and presses the small white button near the door. she stands at the entrance pacing a moment as her foot taps in waiting Jaina Lefevre hears the buzzer and glances back at the door. She rises from her perch in the window and pads over, pausing to listen... Jaina Lefevre swallows nervously, stepping right up to the door and /almost/ putting her ear against it. "...'lo?" Remamian Takashi quirks her brow at the sound on the other side of the door she queries "Deb? Hello? Look chika open the door you sick or somethin?" Jaina Lefevre answers "I can't reach the lockses." Remamian Takashi takes a step back "The fuck you do major? Fall down?" she asks Jaina Lefevre: "Mommy's not 'ere and Nanny's at the store. She lockeded the locks and I can't reach them." No..no one bothered telling the kid that announcing such was dumb. She doesn't remember /having/ doors with locks before. Remamian Takashi shakes her head and states simply "So your the little twerp deb was talking about" she presses her back against the door and slides down sitting on the ground "So, i dont belive we have actually met but if your the majors headache i might as well learn a bit about you. Names taiyou, work with your mothe... er mommy, here in leviathon" Jaina Lefevre sits down on her side of the door. "What's a twerp? I'm Jaina. I had a brain ache, but my brains aren't hurty now." Remamian Takashi chuckles lightly "Just means your a kid, you'll learn when your older. So how old are you?" she says as she lights up a smoke shaking the match before she chucks its at the door in front of her Jaina Lefevre sighs. "They always says that. "learn when youse is older". I'm not gonna -be- older if I don't learns now." She settles the doll more comfortably in her lap and leans her back against the doorframe. "I'm five, Mommy said." Remamian Takashi takes a large drag from the smoke and blows it toward the elevator. Ashes fall to the floor as she flicks the but over the carpet continuing "Well its nice to meet you Jaina, did the major mention when she was going to return?" Jaina Lefevre sounds a little lost. "No. She's workin'." She's quiet for a moment. "Do youse have kids, Taiyou lady? Jenna lady's having a baby right out of her belly. I never had a Mommy like that, and Mommy didn't neither. Did you have a Mommy?" Remamian Takashi shrugs and flicks the butt into the open door of the elevator before it closes "Dont know, doubt it. And no i dont have any kids, im still a ..." she trails off, wondering if the youngling has been taught about birds and bees, perhaps too young... she then asks "So... how did you and the major meet?" Jaina Lefevre grins a little. 'She founded me in church. I was waitin' to talk to the Mister Father and he was busy, so I sitted and waited. Is Mommy good to you too?" Remamian Takashi laughs "She pays me well enough to keep me loyal, but thats a conversation for another day. Yea she treats me about as fair as any other opperative under her command" Jaina Lefevre tugs on her dolls' braid. "Wha's an Op...oper..tive?" Remamian Takashi hangs her head "It means, um, fuc... erm it means a person who works for your mom" Jaina Lefevre ohs softly. "My mommy has a lot of people that works for her?" She tips her head, listening carefully. "Is they like Tauntie Lilli in the glass box place where I got my hair blooded?" Remamian Takashi nods "Many, she is in command of the free city of midian and the mainland city of leviathon. And im not sure where you are talking about glass box place?" Jaina Lefevre listens for a moment. "Wow...she's 'portant, huh?" She adds after a minute. "The place where Tauntie Lilli works. That mean Soz lady is there too. She kicked me in the head and I got all blooded. Tauntie said I fell and she fixed me up." Remamian Takashi says "Yea she is, im still not sure where you are talking about" she leans over and sends a text on her pda Jaina Lefevre sighs, frustrated. "Lilli lady has red hairs and they calls her Doktors Asker-mins (Dr.Ackerman)." Remamian Takashi nods "You tell your mommy that?" Jaina Lefevre nods, not thinking that Tai can't see her through the door. "I told her Tauntie Lilli. Jenna lady met her yesterday. Jenna lady seen the Soz lady too. She scared me. She kicked me and put me in a glass box and made me bleed, then Tauntie cleaned my hairs and gave me juice and helped me get outside." Remamian Takashi humphs "Sounds like you have had quite the experiancce, how did the major take it?" Jaina Lefevre whispers a little. "I dunno. She was kinda mad. I was with the crayon lady and Conors and she had Mister Jons come and carry me to t
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