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1956 - Sun 17 Nov 2019 - Harthills - Hares: JC & FiFi - Scribe: Barbarella

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 1956

Harthills near Kintore

Hares: JC and FiFi

Our GM introduced three returners. Hashtray, Big Al and Short and Thick.

I then asked for a volunteer and volunteered Keith Lorelei to help him in the circle.  Asking everyone to take note  As I instructed Keith to bend a knee forward and forward again then the other knee twice, then asked him to put his arms out to the side and gyrate his hips click his fingers and then keep it going just then Elvis Presley’s “ Heartbreak Hotel” rang out from a speaker in the circle. 1956 was this was the year Elvis had his first chart hit. “Great dancing Keith!  Half the circle weren’t looking too shabby either! No video though, darn.

The question of course was;  “Who’s parents were enchanted by and screaming or were disgusted by the hip gyrations and pelvic thrusts of Elvis?”  Those who were conceived or born in year 1956? Wee Willie and Mrs T stepped forward for their down down.

Other historical facts of 1956 were the first Eurovision Song Contest.

IBM built and sold the first computer with a hard drive, it weighed over a ton and was 6 feet square but it packed a punch with a enormous 5 Megabyte memory!

Rocky Marciano retires with a perfect record, unbeaten in 49 professional boxing fights.


I then got the scribe for being Barbarella.

Aids had cleaned his drawers! “About time!” .....Was that Cinders?

Asking the Hashers who wore shorts all year long he selected Long Shanks for a special present of Shetland Hash shorts he had never worn. Long Shanks put them on and it was noticed that Underlay had the very same shorts on. “One shorts wearer drinks all shorts wearers drink! “ Both in the circle someone commented it was a case of; “ The long and the short of it!” 😄 So like two twin brothers separated at birth they drank their down downs.

The Hare JC showed us how the flour worked, causing some hilarity over his arrow direction and then he indicated the direction of the On on. Through the cars through a gate and we were off.

Fire Flaps seemed to be having wardrobe trouble pulling off clothes and shoes as she started round the Hash.

Into the woods we go.

Cinders decided to tell me they had been playing that Elvis Presley song last night on Strictly, Jailhouse Rock. Er? I said it was Heartbreak Hotel in the circle. Well she had the correct singer easy mistake to make.

Then we are out in the open again with a wind turbine very visible above an industrial estate.

The sweetie stop arrived and there were chocolate lollies, where had they found these, they were of a Hare Hasher with his sack of flour in his hand, I kid you not.

A few checks later and a few back checks or wrong paths later for me we came to a log bridge. Just as we spoke about being careful and wasn’t this temping fate, Underlay slipped on the bridge and did well to stay standing. A touch of deja vu! 😬

JC the Hare was giving out some encouragement to Hippo “I knew you would get it right one of these checks!” “It’s the law of averages!”

Hippo not looking very happy returning from the wrong way again said “I get it right one out of four.” he said.

Then the thought was is it just chance or are these front runners addicted to gambling? Is it the case that when the fun stops, stop gambling? As gamble aware would tell you.

Does this explain the number of Hashers who loiter about the checks? Sorry for blowing your anonymity guys.

I’ll continue this later, after my Gamblers Anonymous meeting............Several hours later.

Okay I’m back to write this best seller.

We double back up a hill past a old steading through someone’s Croft with Shetland ponies in the adjoining field, only to find a massive back check, not in distance as you would expect but in length across the track, in fact all the signs in flour were bigger than normal, massive arrows adorning rocks and as we ran back another newly placed arrow into a semi garden and woods beyond. Another check and the gamblers spread out. Three of the FRBs spaced out head up through trees only to find nothing, a little further to be sure, no flour. The FRBs all turned back only to find half the Hash had followed. Hippo and Lang Shanks started bleating like sheep to indicate what they thought of the crowd following.

Over a dyke to still no flour back down the hill On On was called with JC marking the check. “How wrong can you be!? “ was his words of encouragement.

At last the beer check was found. A little later walking back to the cars, new Bruce, yes we now have two with the same name. I think we should call them Bruce to save confusion.

Well his memory is good, he can remember distinctly being a teacher at Lossiemouth and on a weekend they would pile in a 7 seater taxi to go to Elgin picture house for a film night. 1992 btw.  On the night in question the film was was Alien 3.  Bruce who can fall asleep anywhere a real medical condition unlike us old Hashers who nap after a large dinner, Bruce falls asleep in the cinema only to be rudely awakened by Smiler screaming and grabbing his hand as an Alien bites off someone’s head.  Scared him to death! Unfortunately we can’t get confirmation Smiler doesn’t remember the night.  So I guess it’s like the 60’s if you remember them you weren’t really there!

Down Downs,

Shit Boyfriend for managing to be kicked in the nuts while taking a photo of Egg Foo on a swing.  He had been told what would happen but ignored the advice. Actually he was kicked twice in the balls. Some people never learn.

Panty Pockets had an item of torture she had tried to sell on eBay and Gum tree with no success. Let’s give it away in the circle she thought. The RA didn’t miss a trick and decided that anyone who knew what they were should step into the circle, he then proceeded to ask how much they would pay for them.  Empty beer bottles and 1p were offered then Egg Foo obviously thinking the pleasure she could give with this instrument offered £5 GBP.

Well she won and was duly given her ski rack and down down.

Now this proves the power of the Hash circle. It has now been proven more powerful a selling tool than eBay and Gum Tree! Let’s hope we don’t get a tax slapped on us by an incoming Labour government to pay for free broadband for all.😄

Hashtray ( Now to be known as Ex Hashtray as she gave up smoking 20 years ago) Short and Thick and Big Al for returning.

Numskull and Shit Boyfriend, Numskull whacked Shit Boyfriend in the face with a branch full of kinetic energy.

Thrupennybits for saying peach flavoured Coke Cola was normal Coke. Aids said it was utterly disgusting and Thrupennybits obviously thought the same as she had a down down of it.

One liner called in

Shit Boyfriend for looking like an Expanded Snow White dwarf (to lots of hilarity) and Numskull for “looking like having been hurriedly stuffed by a poor taxidermist!” P J Woodhouse quote.

Hippo and Biggles for not caring about their spouses whereabouts when they were not back at the carpark.

Then of course the Hares JC and FIFI for an excellent run.

Then back to their house for chilli and rice, apple and chocolate cake and cream. Yum.

Mostly made up by the scribe Barbarella. The Hash where the truth never gets in the way of a good story.

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