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1947 - Sun 15 Sep 2019 - Collieston - Hare: Longshank - Scribe: T Rex Cock

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 1947


Winter Draws On & Secrets of a Sunny Bay

 Sunday, 15 September 2019

 Hare: Longshank


The first run of the new hash year.  A small number of dedicated hashers, and quite a few dogs, assembled on the headland car-park north of Collieston harbour, sheltering from the wind.  So, winter draws on.  More of that later.  Sir Deadmund wasn’t among them, so the 1947th run went horrible history-less.  As well as being the year soft toilet paper was introduced to Britain, 1947 was the year that Britain’s coal mines were nationalised, so here’s my 1947 NCB joke:


“What did Mannie Shinwell say when he saw the NCB sign put up at Seaham pit?”


“Mine!...arll  mine!!”


They’re still laughing at that one in Seaham.  


Pre-run down-down went to Bin-Liner for being conceived.  It seems true hashers are born, not made.  Longshanks told us that some of the flour might have been washed out, but we had to head up through the village.  The village was a jumble of deserted holiday homes, with a lot of plate glass, looking a bit sad and desolate.  The trail led up and south of the village on good grassy and whin-dust paths, round the loch onto the sand dunes.  A lot of sand dunes.  Sand dunes as far as hasher could see. Well as far as Muff Diver and I could see as we clambered up to the top of particularly large dune. We saw a line of runners heading off south-westish, and a line of walkers snaking south along the cliff-tops. (How to have all the fun of the hash without actually running the trail.) So, a left-hander with a loop back along the cliffs. We short-cutted to the cliff path, but, having to plough through deep heather (but no prickly bushes fortunately!), the walkers beat us to the sweetie stop, which turned out to be a whisky stop, on the headland overlooking Hackley Bay.


The sun came out. So we had a pleasant time watching the runners coming up along the cliffs, and round the bay. Led in by One Liner and the Hound of the Baskervilles, aka Barney the dog.  We guessed who most of the following hashers were by their gait.  In tests, 8 out of 10 hashers could tell the difference.  A swift run back into the bay to Collieston harbour, past the ice cream parlour.  Why was still open when most of the holiday homes weren’t let?


The beer stop was Longshank’s car boot parked next to the harbour.  How did The Penguin get there before everyone else? While Sherlock dug holes in the sand and fought with Boston to fetch driftwood from the sea, and Barney tried every member of the pack to throw his special stone for him to retrieve, hashers stretched out around the harbour.  Some relaxed more than others.  S****y W***h was saying she was having big problems keeping her knickers on these days: the elastic and the flimsy material just weren’t staying in place.  H**h M*********e thought she’d have been better off when knickers covered your arse, rather then the other way round. 8 out of 10 hashers disagreed. (Their husbands, before you ask.)


Longshanks whipped up hot chilli and a vegetable curry he told us he had his harem of AirBnB ladies ad heated up for him.  Longshanks ladled great scoops of each from his thermal pots and asked each of us how many dollops we’d like. JC said “I'll just have one please.' Longshanks reassured him, “It's OK, you don't have to be polite.” “Alright,” said JC, 'I'll just have one then, you long streak of piss.” At least this meant there was enough for everyone, and there were a lot of “oohs” and “aahs” and requests for the recipe.  (Yes, even in the Google age, people still do this.)


Why don’t we have the circle right here in the harbour? Why not.  A first for AH3? An event so spectacular, a passing photographer from the Ellon Advertiser recorded the event for posterity.  As the RA, Cannae be Arsed, had disappeared, the parcel stopped with One Liner to complete the formalities - he probably just wanted to take credit for the change to warm weather however. 


Down-downs to:


·         Barbarella for trying (and failing) to teach Barney to follow flour.


·         Hippo for having Rollo steal his hat  -but in doing so, we saw the sun glinting off his shiny new shoes, and ended up drinking out of both – as he’d bought them both at the same time!


·         Fireflaps for not realising that Barney was being led astray on the trail, and for leaving his lead at the whisky stop


·         Lorelei for wearing a 10K running vest – no racism allowed in AH3!!


·         and to Longshanks for a fine run - run of the year (so far!).


Longshanks tried to persuade us to visit his AirBnB harem’s place of business. I made an excuse and left.


Pip! Pip!


T.rex Cock.

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