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1923 - Mon 22 Apr 2019 - Johnstone Gardens - Hare: Pink Panther. Scribe: Numbskull

Aberdeen Hash House Harriers

Run 1923

Monday 22nd April 2019

Johnston Gardens

Hare - Pink Panther

WARNING - Fake news!

The following contains description of events that some readers might find upsetting.

A relatively small band of runners due to Easter Challenge finishing Monday afternoon in Inverness (3 hr drive back to Ab). Thought I’d be only one on the run with a brand new EC 2019 body warmer, but Rats was there with one and two others turned up for the circle (Muff Diver and Shaky) - rats!

Bollock cold compared to Loch Ness area, so needed two body warmers.

One new runner, Lucy, who seemed to be an experienced young lady - had hashed in KL (at least).

One award (50 runs) and pre-run DD to Panty Pockets.(well done that Harriette. Ed)

Then, a long story from Pink Panther about the pink flour and dots and circles and arrows and stuff. I lost interest, except heard it was a short run ‘cause of getting dark early (oh! goody! - ‘cause of sore legs from EC).

I managed to get a walkers map, and Bruce Almighty helped me to understand it (especially the beer check bit), then promptly kept it and left me mapless.

At this point, a lunch time curry was making a nuisance of itself, so I headed straight for the Co-op petrol station up the road from the Treetops. All petrol stations have toilets, right? - not this one! Think I remember that from another occasion many moons ago. Ok tho’, hung on to the Treetops. Relief, then a quiet rest in reception to sort Plan B.

Head for beer check, I suppose.

Bumped into Bruce Almighty coming from the other direction and found Pig Iron and Panty Pockets sitting on park bench at Walker Dam with a big pink ‘B’ in a circle, and seemingly uninterested in beer. Took stalwarts, me and Brucie, (Bruce Almighty and I. Ed) to find the stuff (oh! and a fair complement of Easter eggs). Soon joined by most of runners and walkers, and got a couple of good group photos courtesy of  Little Shit (see fb).

…….. and so to DDs (in no particular order). Head RA, Ballerina


-          Fifi and the The Dutchess for not paying attention (The Dutchess afterwards claimed I did that to her once)

-          Athlete (Alistair - no handle) for wearing a Stirling Triathlon shirt

-          Ballerina for leaving his boot wide open with hash beer at start of run

-          Sharnie for being a clipe and telling the RA on him

-          Muff Diver for being a two timer on EC and pushing another lady’s bike uphill

-          Lucy for being a new runner and hashing in KL

-          Annie Bollocks for being a returner (or something)


At this point The Dutchess grabbed a body warmer off me for herself (but did I complain?).

Click here to vote: YES / NO

-     Hippo was summonsed into the circle. Ballerina then started throwing lots of cycle inner tubes into the circle at Hippo. This to make it clear that punctured tyres will not be accepted as an excuse for not turning up for a hash (or something). Lord knows where Ballerina acquired so many tubes (they were all punctured)

-    JC for picking a fight with a tree and coming off worse (apparently turned head left to blow horn - and tree on right hit him!). He promptly blamed Pink Panther for setting a run near a tree (or something)

-    THE HEROES, who did their bit (or something) on EC – Muff Diver, Shaky, Rats et moi (Numbskull. Ed). What a team!!

Thoroughly bollock cold by now, so skipped On-inn and went home with The Dutchess for chilli omelette and beans. Hey ho!  …………. Oh! and nice glass or two of Portuguese plonk.

Judging by the post run photos, it was quite a nice run through (bollock cold) pleasant leafy suburbs. Suppose I should regret having missed it, but you can’t have everything!!

It was either (A) do the run or (B) leave a curry at the Treetops. Which would you have done?

Click here to vote: A / B