Infinite Truths Of the Universe

Rhetorical science.

Home

Ideas

Awesome Sports

Coaster Chronicles

Infinite Truth #1

NEGATIVE NUMBERS

Negative numbers are infinitely powerful. They have the power to unexist, unachieved before by anything in the universe. Many scientists agree that  to make anything unexist requires an infinite amount of energy and time. Negative numbers do just that, and are therefore infinitely powerful.

Infinite Truth #2

CUTSCENES

Cutscenes are extremely powerful. This is simply due to the fact that in a video game, a cutscene does what it wills, with no regard for what anything else had in mind, no matter what it thinks or if it thinks at all.

FINAL FANTASY

Further psuedotheological research has proven that dense amounts of cutscenes are exponentially more powerful than just one alone, therefore it has been decided that Final Fantasy games are infinitely powerful due to their dangerously high concentration of cutscenes. This sub-theory stands until the Cutscene Theory is disproven.

WARNING: ATTEMPTING TO CONCENTRATE FF GAMES CAN RESULT IN LARGE GROUPS OF CRAZY ASIAN PEOPLE AND NOSTALGIC AMERICAN FANBOYS. THIS IS KIND OF DANGEROUS.

Infinite Truth #3

DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

It is possible to do absolutely nothing. If something is unexistant (talking exaggeratedly hypothetically here) than there is no medium of which to apply an action or state of being. The only thing an unexistant object can do is unexist, but since there is no medium as to which an action of state of being can be applied, there is absolutely nothing.

Infinite Truth #4

HERE - THERE

If you are here then you cannot be there because if you were over there you would still be here. So to be there you would have to be back upon yourself, a paradox. Photos are not an exception, seeing as they are simply your reflected light superimposed on film, not you.

THEN - NOW

Then-Now follows much the same principles as Here-There. However, Now is only now for now, after that it becomes Then. It is impossible to be in the Future because the moment of Future automatically becomes Now and then instantly becomes Then. Despite this, some (JC) argue that if technology became sufficiently advanced as to remove Time from an object, it would be in a hypertemporal state. However, this would render the object existant on all planes, yet nonexistant in the 4th dimension, making it 'superquasiexistant', therefore there would have to be a completely 'antiquasiexistant' same object. Seeing as all this is one object, it would cancel it and its separate Times out. This results in total annihilation of the object, its mass, its energy, and its Time, violating all modern Laws of Science As We Know It (Laws of SAWKI) and therefore all instances of casuality. The sudden violation of reality would likely cause a massive chain reaction. We recommend that you don't try this at home.

Infinite Truth #5

BOTS HAVE SPECIAL POWERS, MANY UNBEKNOWNST TO MAN

Yes, bots have strange powers that man doesn't dare dream of because they're kind of stupid.

FIRSTLY

When playing a custom map in Timesplitters, bots have an almost amoebic behavioral pattern, most present in Virus mode. They will run around near each other, but not too close, then clump together really tightly and swarm any humans players present.

SECONDLY

Bots in Enter the Matrix have super-senses. This is most evident when you cheat yourself invisible and run near somebody. They will begin to orbit around you, but have no idea that you're even there. Plus, when like 20 guys are walking around you in little circles, they look pretty stupid and they're easy to take out in crazy gun-stealing neck-snapping motions and stuff.

THIRDLY

All bots wield Fingers of Mass Destruction (that's right, they're not just pointing at you).

FOURTHLY

The only thing that can really control a bot is a cutscene (see IT#2). Not even core programming can stop these things.

FIFTHLY

They 're attracted to anything that kills them. Usually many times in a row.

PT Team

BRYAN

JC