Here's why the English Language is a Crazy Language
 

Subject:  English

There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple or pine in pineapple.

English muffins were not invented in England nor French fries in France.

 

Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

 

We take English for granted.  But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

 

And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham?

 

If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth?

 

One goose, geese.  So one moose, two meese?  Is cheese the plural of choose?

 

One mouse, 2 mice.  One louse, 2 lice.  One house, 2 hice?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught?

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

Why do people recite at a play, and play at a recital? 

Ship by truck or car and send cargo by ship?  Have noses that run and feet that smell?

Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites?

 

How can the weather be hot as heck one day and cold as heck another?

When a house burns up, it burns down.  You fill in a form by filling it out and an alarm clock goes off by going on. You get in and out of a car, yet you get on and off a bus.

 

When the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

 

And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it?

 

English is a silly language ... it doesn't know if it is coming or going!!!

 

 Reasons Why English Is So Hard To Learn:

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce.

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

18) After a number of injections my jaw got number.

19) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

20) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

21) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

22) When faced with danger, we can either run fast or stand fast.

 

Let's face it - English is a crazy language.

And if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly. Boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig. You ship by truck and send cargo by ship.

 

And finally, how about when you want to turn off your computer you click
"START!!"