December 9th, 1941

Welcome to the Quibbler, the newspaper written and run by Mr. Chamberlin's 1st Period class!  We have a special edition this week in honor of the recent Attack on Pearl Harbor.  We have decided to dedicate this issue to events and people from our past, to honor them and thier accomplishments.  In this edition we still have our weekly "Quibbler Poll," sports, entertainment, letters to the editor, and political cartoons (all of which can be found on the sidebar), but our articles will be focused more on the past.  You can find the topics of our essays on the left under this edition's title: Tracing America Through the Ages. 


Advice column
Denzelle Yorksberg All-American advice column, serving up a hot plate of advice every Monday. Quibbler

Dear Denzelle,
           My name is Margaret and I am a concerned parent.  My neighbor is a Japanese man, he is always making kites and washing his old American cars.  He wants to give my kid, Johnny Hammertsix, free karate lessons.  I am afraid he will try to get close with my family, or the white community, in order to gain information for the Japanese Empire. What should I do?

Well Margaret,

It may seem hard to believe but not all Japanese-American people are spies for the Japanese Empire.  I know plenty of perfectly nice Japanese people, like my barber.  But there are 5 easy steps you can take to figure out if the Japanese person near you is plotting against our nation.

  1. Check his mailbox, if he sends a lot of mail out of the country, he might be plotting against us.
  2. What was his mood yesterday, after the attack on Pearl Harbor, if he seemed really happy then he might be plotting against us.
  3. When he goes on a bike ride, search his whole house, including the attic, if it is full of ammunition and bombs with the Japanese logo painted on them, he might be plotting against us
  4. If your child comes home from the karate practice and sets the American flag in your house on fire, he might be plotting against you
  5. If he owns his own Zero Bomber with a rising sun on the side and claims that he plans to crash it into the white house, he definitely is plotting against you and you should turn him in immediately.