I decided to rewrite this poem because i hated the flow it previously had. When I did this, it also allowed me to start inside more. My first draft is vague but lacks a meaning. I began inside more so it is still vague, but now it shows the meaning. You can truly connect with the man and feel his sorrow, regret and pain. I would change all of the "hes" to "I" to use the power of I, but I do not want people to think I really did these things. I changed the order I described things as well. I didn't start with the knife but rather his secret. This makes you curious about what his secret is, and I later describe it better. I also added a title, which I forgot to write in the original draft.
Subpages (2): First Draft Second draft