Whole Child

The Grieving Student: What Schools Can Do to Help

“I had so many unanswered questions running through my mind. Why did he have to die? What was going to happen to me? Would my pain ever go away? I felt angry and alone. None of my friends understood what I was going through. A lot of them stopped talking to me, probably because they didn’t know what to say and didn’t want to upset me. What they didn’t understand was that not being there for me hurt me more than anything they could have said.” —Crystal, 23

“When my mom asked how I was doing, I would quickly reply that I was fine, not wanting to confide in her what was really happening to me. I had no support from any of my friends, so I felt the need to isolate myself. I was battling grief all by myself, because I knew my parents and siblings were busy dealing with their own grief. Emotionally, my family and I were on different planets.” —Hannah, 15

November 16, 2017 is National Children’s Grief Awareness Day. Research shows that 1 in 20 youth will experience the death of a parent before they graduate from high school. Many more will experience the death of a sibling, grandparent or close friend. Children and teens often feel alone when they are dealing with the loss of a loved one and teachers are sometimes unsure of the best way to help their student when they return to class. Here are a few tips on what you can do in your classroom (taken from www.dougy.org/grief-resources/death-impacts-your-school):

Talk with the bereaved student before he/she returns.
Talk to your class about how grief affects people and encourage them to share how they feel.
Discuss how difficult it may be for their classmate to return to school, and how they may be of help.
Provide a way for your class to reach out to the grieving classmate and his/her family.
Provide flexibility and support to your grieving student upon his/her return to class.

Here are a few quick dos and don’ts:

Do listen.
Do follow routines.
Do set limits.
Do NOT act as though nothing has happened.
Do NOT say things like, “I know how you feel.” “You’ll be stronger because of this.” “He is in a better place.”
Do NOT expect the student to complete all assignments on a timely basis.

For more tips on what to do and how to help, see the resources below:

Signs of Grief in Children: “normal” vs. “worrisome” behaviors http://www.griefspeaks.com/id4.html
The Dougy Center: The National Center for Grieving Children and Families: https://www.dougy.org/
Children’s Grief Awareness Day Resources: https://www.childrensgriefawarenessday.org/cgad2/index.shtml

Amy Wassmann; Health and Drug Coordinator

Laying the Foundation: One Social-Emotional Brick at a Time

August is the time where my brain starts to really kick into “Back to School” mode. Things I want to do start invading my time at home with my children. That is when I KNOW that I am ready to get back and do my thing! As a teacher or administrator you probably feel the same way… but sometimes those first few days (or weeks) can be hectic as students need to learn the rules and expectations of a new classroom. You may work diligently on creating activities that help students adjust to new schedules and routines. What if I said that there is a simple, easy to implement curriculum that can help you teach your students the following skills:

self management
self awareness
social awareness
relationship skills, and
responsible decision making

What if I said that taking time to focus on these skills will help improve your students’ academic performance as well as their behavior within the classroom? And that the curriculum, resources, training and support afterwards are FREE for as long as you use the curriculum? Please contact me for more information about Michigan Model for Health (Grades K-12) at wassmanna@sisd.cc.

Here are some resources for more information on strategies, tools and research on social emotional learning in the classroom or school.

Michigan Department of Education’s SEL Page

Collaborative for Academic, Social and Emotional Learning (CASEL) page

Edutopia’s Social and Emotional Learning Page

And a blog I just read this morning on revamping your first 15 minutes of the day! Great read on meeting the students where they are at every day.

Amy Wassmann - Health and Drug Coordinator

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