Parents cheered from the sidelines as Daniela scored her third goal. Her team was up 5–0 in the final game of the kindergarten soccer tournament. But at the closing ceremonies, there were no winners or losers. Every child who participated in the tournament was awarded a trophy.

While some people believe we should teach children that participating in the game is more important than winning, others worry that too many children today are being protected from life’s challenges. They think children will not learn to recover from disappointment or failure. There is little consensus about whether competition at a young age helps or hurts the development of resilience—the ability to bounce back from disappointment, failure, or hardship.

Those who oppose competition argue that childhood should be a time for building self-esteem. Early in their development, children learn to categorize and compare. They separate big from small, heavy from light, tall from short, and sweet from sour. Competition yields another set of categories to compare: winners and losers. Identifying as a loser from a young age could damage a child’s confidence and make them less likely to take part in competitions later in life. In fact, some kids report feeling so much pressure to win from their parents that they can’t enjoy participating in games. Giving every participant a trophy reduces the focus on winning and can free children to work together, pass the ball, and support each other. Furthermore, when coaches are not worried about losing, they are more likely to encourage less talented players to participate and take risks. More children can feel good about themselves.

On the other hand, learning to lose at an early age could make children more resilient. Competition is part of adult life. People compete when they apply to college, interview for jobs, audition for parts in a play, and seek promotions. Some are chosen because they are considered superior candidates, and the rest are rejected. Everyone is likely to fail at something. By failing at a young age, children can learn how to keep trying even when something is very difficult. They can also learn how to problem-solve to do better next time. Furthermore, giving everyone a trophy could harm children’s motivation. If a child who works tirelessly to memorize words for the spelling bee receives the same prize as a classmate who did the bare minimum, why would anyone work hard? Losing might motivate children by teaching them that hard work is required to succeed.

What do you think? Should young children get trophies just for participating?